Chapter Text
There’s something liberating about finally coming up the steps to this little cabin. You’d been thinking about it for months, talking about it to everyone when they asked what your summer plans were, and now finally you can live out that dream you’ve been wishing for. This was a chance to find yourself before starting university. You supposed that this was like some sort of test, like thrusting yourself in a whole new environment before having to face it once again on campus. This would be your trial run. Just without having to deal with all the people.
Maybe you prefer it this way. Having nobody to deal with but yourself, this would be the perfect steppingstone to your independence. You suppose it was lucky that an old relative let you inherit the cabin. They’d always commented on how you’d run around the backyard and nearby parks in your youth, pretending to be a fairy with the power to help baby animals. You truly believed you were. And here you still can be.
It's a beautiful private property. The closest neighbor was likely miles away. There was even a lake nearby if you were willing to hike roughly twenty minutes out to it. And it’s all yours to enjoy. You knew it’d be tough out here for the summer. The nearest stop to get any supplies you’d need is a couple hours out, and you didn’t really have a car or the license to drive out here. The kind cab that brought you all the way out here only had so much space for you to bring stuff, and you only had so many funds.
You’d figure that out later. For now, unpacking. The driver had been kind enough to help you bring a couple bags and boxes into the kitchen so you could put whatever food you had away. There was only a couple of fresh food items versus the preserved and instant meals you had copious amounts of. But this is what you were the most excited for. There were plenty of resources in the nearby forest.
Your experience exploring local flora and fauna in your youth has given you some insight as to what was safe for you to eat. Wild strawberries and blackberries were often sent to you in your youth when your relatives came out here every summer. Plus, there were likely some foraging books around. Speaking of foraging and rummaging… you turn slowly to look at all the boxes currently surrounding you. This was the part you dreaded the most.
There were so many things to put away besides the food, which was fairly easy to get to since you didn’t have a lot to fill the fridge and freezer with. But all other things like your clothes, knickknacks, appliances, and other personal belongings, you knew it would take a couple days before you would finally finish putting everything away. You supposed that a little walk in the nearby woods would be good. Might as well still enjoy the daylight you have left. The cabin could wait.
You step out the back door and take in a deep breath of air. It’s much fresher here. The surrounding woods spanned for miles. It is a beautiful English greenery full of wildlife; you’d seen plenty of deer on the way in. Maybe you could find some more on your walk. There’s a little clearing by the back of the cabin and what looks to be a path to the side. A simple nature walk is all you’ll do, you promise yourself. No more than an hour out so you can go back to unpacking. Also, you didn’t want to get lost on your first day so taking this path and exploring a little bit wouldn’t hurt.
There’s not much to see for the first fifteen minutes of your walk. It’s very straightforward. Trees and ferns on either side of you, the occasional rocks and stumps along the way, but no animals to be seen. There’s not a large variety of interesting plants either. You suppose that on a cleared path like this, the more “natural” elements you were wishing to see would be much further away.
It’d be a gamble to stray off the path now. Especially since you have no signal out here. It’d be such a shame to turn back so soon. You take another look around to see if there’s anything worth exploring still, anything to keep you out here just a little longer. That’s when you realize that there’s a faint sound of running water, hard to hear over the wind and crunching of leaves under your shoes during your walk. There’s a stream nearby, the perfect excuse to continue your little adventure around the area.
You keep walking the path until you realize that the sounds of the water aren’t getting any louder or fainter. You’ll have to stray from the trail on your own in order to find it. Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you set off to go look for this body of water. This is what you signed up for after all. Not to be cooped up in a secluded cabin. You came out here to enjoy the scenery and take these kinds of risks. Also, your relatives had told you that the area was fairly safe. There aren’t many dangers in the woods as animals were warded off by the nearby human presences from the other properties. Besides, you wouldn’t be wandering too far from the path and into the woods.
There are a couple of twists and turns you have to take as the terrain no longer remains flat, the signs of humans nearby becoming less and less as you keep venturing forth. The beauty of the forest is much different here. A rugged charm to it, this is just the kind of place you wished to explore this summer.
Eventually you can find traces of more lush greenery, which means the source of water is really close. The sounds of it are much louder, too. And in the distance, you can see a shine of the sun reflecting off the glassy surface of water. Grinning, you take off until you can clearly see the span of lake. It’s just as beautiful as your relatives had told you. In their youth, they spoke of sneaking off to a nearby lake and swimming there in the summers. This must be it. There weren’t any signs of people nearby like docks or lakeside cabins. The nearest cabins were likely the same distance away as yours, if not even longer. You had this all to yourself.
The water is dark, hiding away another world from you when you try to gaze in and look for any signs of life. There weren’t many fish around this part of the forest, you’d been told. So, no need to worry about any fish nibbling your feet. You hum a happy tune while crouching down by the water’s edge. It’s nice and sunny out and the water is cool to the touch. A little dip wouldn’t hurt, right? Screw it. You keep trying to do things the old way, which is against the whole reason you came out here. No more excuses.
You find a nearby tree to lay your clothes against. Since you had no plan on finding this lake, you’d not brought a proper swimsuit. But nobody was around to see you swimming in your underwear. That doesn’t stop you from hurriedly running towards the lake and jumping in.
The water is nice and cool. It feels good. You let out a happy laugh, the surge of emotions catching up to you that you’re actually out here and doing this! This is exactly what you’d dreamed of. You submerge yourself into the water and try to find the bottom, but you’re only so brave. It’s got to be at least five meters deep. While you knew there weren’t a lot of things in the water, you didn’t want to be the first to find out what there is. At least they wouldn’t get to you closer to the surface.
You swim around for a while to see how far out you can see from the different ends of the lake. It’s not too far that you’d lose where you first came in. The tree with your stuff is in clear view when you make it to the furthest bank from it. There are spots in the lake where it’s more shallow than others, so you can stand or at least see the ground below. Soon enough, you get tired of swimming around and resort to floating on your back for a little bit.
The sun is warm on your face and you close your eyes to take it all in. It’s a wonderfully serene moment. It’s absolutely perfect. You’re brought out of your stupor when you hear a sudden rustling of plants nearby. You jerk in the water to turn near the sound and stare back at the wide eyes staring into your own. Oh, this is the cherry on top.
“Hello,” you call out gently. In front of you is a golden fawn, having come here to drink water and snack on some of the foliage nearby. It studies you curiously before turning to the side to chew on a bush. You smile and slowly tread towards it. Its ears follow the sounds of your movement, but it doesn’t look like it wants to run away. You take it as a sign you’ve made a friend. “Where is your mama, little one?”
You look around for any more signs of deer. Its family must be close by, you think. Unless this deer was like you and curiously strayed off the path to go find something exciting. The fawn lets you get close enough that you’re an arm’s length away. You slowly walk up the bank with water dripping off your body and onto the grass beside it. It still pays you no mind and you’re about to reach out to try to touch it when another sudden rustling sounds nearby. There’s mom.
“Sorry,” you say quietly and drop your arm, apologizing as if you’d offended her. To be fair, she did look protective of her baby with the way she comes up. You try not to make any sudden movements and the fawn only resumes its eating next to you. She seems to take this as a positive sign and walks up to you to pick curiously at the bush too.
She’s accepted you as safe to both her and her baby. A very rare sensation and you smile to yourself as you watch the pairing eat happily. You decide to try again and slowly reach up to gently graze the mother’s side. You try to stay quiet as not to startle her. You just barely touch her soft fur until her head jolts upwards and she takes off. Her fawn is quick to run after her and you watch as they disappear into the depths of the forest. You sigh and turn your head back forward only for your breath to catch when you realize it wasn’t you that made them run off.
There is a man nearby with a lowered scope standing among the trees. You wouldn’t have seen him until you saw the shine of the lens. He is quick to raise a hand in surrender and aim the gun fully at the ground when he sees your eyes go wide and your mouth drop open.
“M’not here to hurt you,” he says lowly, a thick English accent rolling off his tongue. He straps the gun to his back so both hands are now off the gun. “I’m a hunter. I live in these woods.”
The man stands to fully reveal himself to you, also taking a quick glance around to see if you’re alone. Great, this is where you die, you think. You can’t even see his face, as it’s covered by a dark balaclava. He wears a cap on top of it that just shields whatever part of his eyes you can see. Tall and very intimidating, this is the build of a man who could kill you without a second thought. And likely would. He sees your apprehension and lowers himself slightly in effort to make himself seem less… large.
“You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve been tracking that doe for a couple days now. Just didn’t expect to see anyone nearby.”
“I…” you find your voice finally and try to clear your throat, so he doesn’t hear the shakiness of it. “I just moved in. Over there.” You point in the relative direction you came from.
He hums. “Cabin’s been empty for a couple years now.”
“I just moved in today,” you say. You clench your hands into fists, unsure of what to do as the distance between you two is large, but you don’t have any of your stuff. Just now realizing that fact, you quickly look down and see that you’re still in your underwear standing in front of this man. He takes the hint and looks off, now instead trying to focus on where the doe and fawn must have run off to.
“Where are your parents?”
“I’m by myself,” you answer. “I’m eighteen, I’m an adult.”
The man looks back towards you with a raised brow and then starts setting up to go follow in the tracks of the deer. He turns quickly and starts to walk off, but not before giving you one last look and saying, “Shouldn’t be out here alone. Dangerous things in these woods.”
The way he says that implies it’s not just the animals he’s talking about.
You’re afraid to leave your cabin for close to two weeks. That encounter with that man lingers in your mind every second. On top of that, he knows where you’re living. Maybe you were being too fearful of him. He did say he wasn’t there to harm you after all. He’s a hunter, or so he says. And he saw you in your underwear.
When he’d left, you’d noticed that your underwear was soaked all the way through. The material clung to you leaving very little to the imagination. Not only that, but the cloth was also sheer. You were absolutely mortified at that, another reason why you didn’t leave the cabin.
But now you were getting tired of sitting around inside after having exhausted everything to possibly do. You’d used the time to unpack everything and even rearrange and decorate all the leftover furniture to how you see fit. The rest of the time you’d spent trying to entertain yourself by cleaning, reading, and even figuring out how to cook some of the recipes on an old notebook you found. You’d just become brave enough to go back out in the yard around the cabin after declaring it safe enough that he wouldn’t stalk you all the way back.
“This is stupid,” you groan out and get up to get your shoes on. You needed to get out there, needed to go take a walk.
You make it out to the clearing right before the path you used last time. Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you set out once more. If he’s hunting, he’s not going to use these trails since the animals aren’t here, you reason with yourself. Plus, he’s likely farther away from the lake if he was just following the deer. You hoped they were okay. Instead of fear, now you scowl at the thought of that man. You love animals. What would he have to do with a deer that’s still taking care of her young? Would he have shot the fawn as well?
Grumbling to yourself, you kick a couple rocks on the path. You decide to release a little more of your pent up energy by picking up a larger rock and throw it as far as you can into the woods. It makes a loud thunk and then you hear some shuffling. You pause as you listen to the sounds of what seems to be a frightened animal. You feel bad and are about to move on until there is a loud pained cry. Against your better thinking not to set off the path again, you chase after where the animal had run off and likely got itself into trouble. You’d hate to think that somehow you harmed it a careless throw.
You come up to a little divot in the trees and rush over to where you can see a struggling rabbit. Panic rises in you as you realize it’s been caught in a snare; you must have frightened it into the snare. The wire is digging into its neck and face. Luckily, it managed to get caught in a way that didn’t mean instant death. But with the way it’s struggling and thrashing, you knew that it might suffocate or further injure itself soon.
“Hey, hey, hey,” you gently try to coax the frightened rabbit. Understandably, it keeps kicking out and making it worse as you get closer to it. “I just want to help you.”
“Leave it alone,” comes out a familiar gruff voice. You glance up and find the hunter from before standing at a similar distance as last time.
“But it’s dying!” You continue what you’re doing and manage to get your hands on the wire around it and hold tight so you don’t lose your grip. You hiss as the wire digs into your hands as the rabbit thrashes.
“That’s the point,” is all he replies. You grit your teeth and look up to glare at him while he watches the two of you struggling. It frustrates you that he’s fully content in watching this animal fight for its life in front of you. You know he’s a hunter, but… there’s tears welling in your eyes and that’s when he sighs and starts heading over. You’re not sure if you’re crying from frustration or from the pain in your hands. He takes out a large, serrated blade and looks at you pointedly. “Hold it very still. Don’t want either of you getting hurt.”
You do as he says and bear the pain while he gets to work cutting through the wire. He tries to help you by holding the rabbit down so it stops jerking in your hold and so he doesn’t accidentally stab it or you.
“That’s it,” he coos gently. This is a stark difference than the intimidating man you met. His eyes are gentle yet focused, a crinkle by his brow as he tries to be as careful as he can. You can see the curve of his hooked nose through the balaclava and wonder what his other features look like beneath the mask. You’re taken aback when his eyes lock onto yours in an intense gaze. “Focus.”
“Sorry,” you say quickly as you realize your grip has loosened.
He makes quick work of the rest of the wire and manages to cut through it. It immediately loosens and the rabbit bolts off once it’s freed. The two of you watch as it disappears before turning back to look at each other. That intense gaze is turned back towards you and it makes you slightly cower when you realize how close he is and how he still towers over you while crouched down. “That was my food, you know.”
“I couldn’t just leave it,” you try to argue. The man sighs and hangs his head before standing at full height. He dusts himself off and sheaths the knife against one of the straps on his leg.
“Well, now it’s some other animal’s food.” He then goes back to surveying the area like he’s done before, already ignoring you.
You purse your lips at his behavior and put your hand on your knee to use as leverage to also stand. You let out a pained yelp, having forgotten about the cuts from the wire. There are angry red lines in your fingers with a couple little scratches littered all over. The main injury being the deep cuts across your palms from where you held the wire taut the whole time.
The man turns back towards you and grabs your hand in one of his gloved ones to inspect the cut. It shocks you at his sudden movement and makes you flush at little at the proximity.
“These are bad. S’why I told you to leave it alone,” he chides you as if reprimanding a child.
“I don’t regret anything,” you huff back, now frustrated at him again.
“Come. Let’s go get you cleaned up,” he says, ignoring your frown and heading off in some direction.
“Wait, I’m not going anywhere with you.” You know if he wanted to hurt you by now, he would’ve. But you still don’t want to be taken all the way back to his cabin where he might torture you. Maybe he lives in a cave. A man like him would.
He gives you a curious look. “Do you not recognize the path back to your own place?”
Oh.
Simon is his name, you learned. He’d told you while helping bandage your hands and clean them off. You’d been on guard the entire time, but he started sharing some information about himself to help you ease up. Simon was in his late twenties, having moved to the woods when he was young in a similar situation to you. He wanted to escape, be free. But he never looked back and instead spent the rest of his time out here. He was glad to leave it all behind.
“Doesn’t that make you lonely?” you ask him.
“No,” he says simply. “I prefer to be alone.”
You don’t pry. There are obviously some issues he prefers not to disclose. But despite wanting to be alone, he’s not standoffish or rude. In fact, he’s been nothing but considerate and gentle with you.
“Do you ever take that off? The mask, I mean,” you comment. You’re trying to fill the space with conversation. Normally, you’d likely not do this. But the silence between you two was a little uncomfortable still. Even if he wasn’t saying anything, his presence said it all.
“I do.”
You purse your lips at his short reply, and he turns away when he’s done wrapping your hands. You can’t see it, but there’s some amusement in his eyes as he gives you the bare minimum of answers.
“But there’s no reason to wear it inside.”
“You trying to get me to strip in front of you? Trying to get even with me?” You turn red when he says that. That’s when you realize he is enjoying teasing you although he seems stoic. He chuckles when you start sputtering. “Just teasing, just teasing. Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. Too far to anyways.”
“Not funny.”
“Shame, I usually am.” He huffs out another laugh to himself and then pulls the balaclava off, showing you a mess of short dirty blonde hair and more to that hooked nose you’d seen earlier. Simon has a long face, with a bump in his nose from what was probably a scuffle as a kid and he’d broken it. Tired eyes and high cheek bones, a pointed chin covered in a neatly kept stubble. He allows you to study his face while he cleans off the mess on the table where he’s laid out the bandages and supplies. “Happy now?”
“You’re handsome,” you remark quietly. You didn’t mean to let it slip, but it’s too late now. Not like you were lying anyways.
To spare you the embarrassment, Simon doesn’t reply. Or maybe he didn’t hear you. Instead, he nods towards your hands once he’s finished packing up the little care kit that was hidden away in the bathroom cabinets. “Make sure to clean those thoroughly the next few days. Don’t want any infection. Change the bandage wraps afterwards, you can keep it on for up to two days.”
“Thank you.” He nods and gives you a slight smile. A curious man, he is. You’re not sure whether he actually likes people or not based on what he told you. But for a man who claims to avoid people, he’s actually quite kind.
Simon gets up with mask in hand. “I’ll get going now.”
“Wait!” You jump up. You’re not sure why you really stopped him from leaving. But something about him drew you in. Maybe those gentle hands despite the scarring all over them, or those kind eyes despite the focused glare he had when tracking animals. “You’re just… you’re just gonna go?”
“I need to check the rest of my traps before the other things in this forest do.”
“Oh,” you hum in disappointment. You’d thought that you finally had someone to get to know out here.
“Don’t worry,” he says over his shoulder. “Knowing you, we’ll probably run into each other soon enough.”
You suppose that he was right in saying that the two of you would likely meet again. But not really by accident. You caught yourself going on walks more often in the forest, taking swims in the lake (though this time you’d remembered your swimsuit), and trying to be out as long as you could in attempts to see him again. You knew that you were hoping to meet him again. A part of you wondered if it was because you wanted to talk to another human being, and you’d not realized how lonely it was out here on your own when having to go see another person would take a couple hours of travel. Maybe it was because of how shockingly kind he was, how easily you found yourself lowering your guard around him. Or… you just wanted to see that handsome face again.
You think it’s a combination of all three. The least emphasis on the last point, you convince yourself. You wouldn’t have a crush on somebody you just met. Especially not when he’s the only available option. You wondered if he had someone at home with him. That might explain why he was so mellow, so gentle despite not wanting anything to do with people. He’s had to find someone to love and love him back to show him that people are worth it.
For some reason those thoughts sadden you. It makes you scoff at yourself for imagining being in a relationship with him. That’s not what you came here for! Is what you’re going to have to keep telling yourself. God. You need a smoke.
You know it’s bad to be smoking out in a forest. You chose to smoke by the lake, just in case of fire. You’re sitting against the tree that you normally hang out by, the one that you like to sit against and read if you’re not swimming or you hang your clothes on the branches to warm them up in the sun. Today was a cloudy day and pining over the mere thought of Simon wasn’t helping your mood any better.
You’re about to light a cigarette when you notice a familiar face.
“It’s you,” you call out to the fawn. Without a doubt, this is the same baby deer that you met on your first time at the lake. It still has that same curious look in its eyes as it looks out at the forest. “I haven’t seen you in a while, little one.”
You reach out to it, beckoning the fawn closer. It stares back at you for a little bit and then starts making its way over. A smile makes its way onto your face as it stands about a meter away from you. You let your hand stay in the air for it to come to if it wants. It’s about to nudge your hand into its nose until you see its mouth open.
“Woah!” You jerk your hand back once you notice it’s going for the cigarette between your fingers. You’d completely forgotten about that. The fawn backs up a couple paces at your sudden movement and you immediately still to calm it. “Sorry. But you can’t have these. They’re bad for you.”
You seem to think it understands as the fawn bows its head and inches forward once more. It sniffs the air a couple times and then looks away, ears twitching. There’s nothing in the area that catches your attention, and it doesn’t look on guard either.
“Is your mama around?” you ask gently. As if on cue, there’s a rustling nearby. You expected its mother to come around like it did last time, but you’re shocked to see- “Simon?”
“Why am I not surprised?” he huffs and pulls the hat off his head so you can see his eyes, but his balaclava remains. “What are you doing out here?”
“I go where the animals go,” you say while looking towards the fawn. You make that up as an excuse as if you weren’t actually hoping to see Simon once again. But it’s not necessarily wrong for you to want to hang out with some of the forest life out here. Especially when this fawn in particular has taken a liking to you. “What about you?”
“I go where the animals go,” he repeats.
“You’re planning on hunting the baby deer?” you ask with a wrinkled nose. At that, the fawn takes off and runs into a direction of the woods, presumably to find its mother. You don’t blame it.
“No,” Simon shakes his head. “I’m tracking it. Trying to look for its herd.”
“So you can hunt its parents?” you don’t dare to hide the disdain in your voice as you look towards the gun strapped to his back. “No wonder it ran away from you.”
Simon quirks a brow at you and hums in thought. “They’ve never taken much of a liking to me anyways.”
“I wonder why.” You pause after that, not wanting to give him a bad impression by being snarky to him. “But… I think you’re a good person. They’re just good at sensing bad intentions and danger.”
“It’s not running from me,” he sighs. “There’s a pack of wolves ‘round here that’s hunting for them, too. They got the buck weeks ago. I’m looking for mum. Was hoping the baby could take me to her before the wolves found her.”
“Oh,” you whisper. Your heart drops at that. There’s a chill that courses through you once the wind picks up. The mere thought of the poor fawn being left alone and food for the wolves.
“That’s why I told you it’s not safe out here alone. Best not stick around these parts of the woods too long.”
“But I have you to protect me, right?” you try to joke with him. Simon’s eyes crinkle as he smiles beneath the mask.
“I’m too old for you, cub.” You blush once you realize the implications of your question. He merely laughs it off.
“What’s out here anyways besides the wolves? I thought they wouldn’t be around here because of the cabins nearby.”
“Oh, there’s plenty of things out here that’ll want to eat you up.” He eyes you up and down and you blush once more, not used to all the attention like this. “Wolves, bears… men.”
“Like who? You?”
“Like me,” he grins. You can see the way his cheeks budge under the mask that lets you know he’s smiling. But even though he makes that comment, you don’t feel fearful at all. There’s a look in his eyes that tells you he’s joking, a silent promise like before that he won’t hurt you. Simon points at your hand. “You smoke?”
“I’m an adult,” you remind him, not wanting him to treat you like a kid again. He shrugs and takes out his own pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He lights it and offers the lighter to you. The flame beckons you closer as if you’re a moth. Or maybe it’s the reflection of the flame in his eyes that you’re focused on. Either way, you step closer to light yours. He lifts up his mask enough.
“Smoke carries a scent,” he says after blowing out a puff of smoke. “Makes your presence known to everything around here.” You take a breath of your own and sigh out. He nudges you gently on the shoulder. “But don’t worry, cub. I’m here to protect you.”
You take a breath of your own cigarette and look at him curiously. “Why do you call me cub?”
Simon blows a puff of smoke in your face and you cough at the smell. Whatever brand he uses is disgusting. He grins at your reaction, chuckling softly to himself. “Why do you think?”
“Is it because I’m young?”
A hand lands on the top of your head and ruffles your hair. You swat away Simon’s hand and try to straighten out your hair, running fingers through it to detangle it. “That and…” He watches you carefully while you straighten out your hair. Some gets caught in your face and you shake your head while trying not to catch the longer strands in your cig. Simon reaches forward and tucks the lock of hair behind your ear for you and pats your cheek twice. “Those eyes.”
You blink up at him, as if only emphasizing his point. “What about my eyes?”
It’s hard to maintain eye contact with him. It’s intimidating in a different way. He narrows his eyes to study your face a little more and traps his cigarette between his lips while taking the same hand he used to move your hair behind your face to gently grip your jaw and turn your face this way and that. You’re sure he can feel the warmth in your cheeks with the way his thumb presses into it ever so lightly. Simon acts like he’s playing connect-the-dots against the freckles on your face.
“Your eyes are innocent. Curious. Like a cub’s.”
“I keep telling you, I’m an adult. Stop treating me like a kid,” you huff out and grab his wrist. The air between you two is charged with something. He breathes out a plume of smoke through his nose. You don’t cough up the smell this time. He’s standing so close you can pick up his scent alongside that chalky tar from his Pyramids. There are bits of pine and some sort of his natural musk. You think that it would be gross, but he smells… good.
“Still a young adult though,” he grins and releases you so he can pluck the cigarette from his lips. “Feisty like a cub. Cute like one, too.” He says that last part quietly and his eyes sparkle with mirth while the wind picks up, carrying those words away.
“I thought you said you were too old for me,” you say quietly. Simon snubs out the cigarette and pulls the mask back down. Any leftover fumes leak through the cloth and he clears his throat.
“I am. You should be messing around with boys your age. Not guys pushing thirty that live in the middle of nowhere. Besides, you got university coming up, yeah?” You frown at that blatant denial. So he’s noticed the little puppy crush you had on him. He brings a comforting hand to you. “Chin up, cub. Plenty of boys out there who’ll throw themselves at your feet.”
You look him in the eyes and purse your lips. There’s no finality in his tone, like he’s testing to see if you’ll contest him. Waiting to see if you’re as feisty as he said. You take the bait. “You really don’t want me?”
His eyes darken. These are the eyes of a hunter. “Don’t say that now. S’not what I said.”
“Then what are you saying?” Normally, you aren’t so bold. Simon’s challenging gaze is what does you in. You’re trying to play into whatever game he’s trapped you in, like cat and mouse, hunter and prey. This is your way of keeping up with him.
Simon circles you, trailing his fingers across your jawline carefully, moving long strands of dark hair over your shoulder. You can barely hear him move despite his large size, despite how close he’s leering over you. He stops behind you and leans in close to your ear and whispers, “The first day I saw you… Calipso—” the way he says your name sends shivers down your spine. “—rising out of the water, I thought for a second you were Aphrodite herself. But here I am, a poor man trapped on your island because you want me all to yourself.”
You bite your lip at Simon’s mention of that first day. It’d been weeks ago and it’s stuck into his mind. You wonder if he’s been tracking these woods in search of you. Not that you made it hard for him.
“I keep telling you that you need to be careful around the hungry beasts in these woods.”
You turn ever so slightly so that his lips are gently pressed against your cheek. Even as they’re covered by the rough material of his balaclava, you can feel the warmth of them. “But you promised you wouldn’t hurt me. You can protect me.”
“Cub, I think you forget that I am the most dangerous beast in these woods,” he growls gently in your ear.
“You are hunting me right now, are you not? I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. You could trap me and eat me up right now. Whatever it is… I am yours.”
Simon steps back from you and gives you some distance. You think you’ve messed up with that, but instead he circles back around so he’s facing you once again. Those dark brown eyes of his stare deep into yours. He looks deep in thought, processing your words. But again, there is no definite denial in them. He’s making sure you want this, needing to know that you’re absolutely sure.
“You shouldn’t want an older man like me. Haven’t the boys your age treated you good?” He’s deflecting.
“Well…” you trail off and look away. At that instant his eyes harden and he leans in close to you again.
“No boy has treated you well, ever?” You shake your head. “And you want a man to show you the ropes instead?” You slowly nod. “Even if he’ll ruin you for any other man out there? Just to keep you all to himself?” You nod again, more firmly this time.
Simon chuckles and leans back. He hasn’t said no. Doesn’t look like he wants to say no. So why is it taking him so long to say yes? You know your time together has been extremely sparse and short. But does he not feel the attraction too? This magnetic draw that keeps his lips drawing nearer to yours. Every time he seems to regain his senses he pulls away. He’s forcing himself to pull away.
“Cub, you’ve got at most a month and a half left out here before you start university. Then you’ll go off and meet other boys and I’ll still be here.”
“I’ll come back,” you tell him. “I own that cabin. That’s my home. I will come back.” To you, was left unsaid. Simon receives that message loud and clear.
He doesn’t respond this time and you take that as a sign to keep going. It’s your turn to make the move. You want to show him that you’re not just a mere cub to him. You bring your hands gently up to his chest and then to his shoulders. He makes no motion to stop you, simply watching what you’re doing.
“I will go back, yes. But I will always return. I am not just here for the summers, I come here because this is my new home. I will go off to learn and experience new things, but I am here to stay.” Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders as if you’re begging him to stay close. As if it’s him who’s doing the leaving and you’re trying to keep him here. With you.
Simon continues to remain silent, but his large, gloved hands have slowly made their way to your hips. They hold you steadily. A sure sign that he’s not going anywhere. He is not pulling away.
“Simon,” you breathe out. He hums in response, listening to you. “Do you not want this? You should tell me now before I get my hopes up. But all I’ll do is think about the what ifs? I’ll compare you to every boy I’ll ever be with. And wonder if I am right in believing that you will do it better.”
That’s the last straw it takes for him, the final push. In a blink, Simon takes the mask off and surges forward to seal your lips into a heated kiss. Mine, is what he’s clearly communicating. Yours, is all you put into the kiss when you clumsily move your lips back. He’s quick to pick up on your inexperience and adjusts as needed. His lips follow yours and he sets the tempo to heat it up between you two. Your eyes close as it becomes all too overwhelming for you. The feeling of his hands curving around to your back, another creeping up behind your head and he tilts you back slightly. The sheer size of him is what presses him forward into you. Before you know it, you’re backed up against a tree. It shocks you and you whimper into his mouth. He growls and swallows it up with open mouthed kisses.
You’re not sure how long the two of you have been kissing, but eventually you signal to him that you need some air by pulling at the collar of his jacket. Simon detaches from your lips with a loud, wet sound and rests his forehead against yours while the two of you catch your breath. He brings a hand to cup your cheek and your eyes flutter back open.
“Still with me, cub?”
“Always.”
The rest of your time together is spent mostly in the woods. Simon doesn’t seem to change his behavior with you besides giving you the occasional steamy kiss to shut you up when you start telling him how much you’d rather prefer the rabbits he catches in your lap sleeping than in your stomach. He gives you a lot of kisses, actually.
He is affectionate with you overall. A little more tender and quicker to help you out when he takes you on walks together. You’ve been to parts of the forest you would never have explored on your own as they were so far off the path. But Simon acts as your beacon while showing you all sorts of things.
He brought you on a three hour hike to a nearby cliff that let you see your cabin in a distance. When you were too tired to walk, he carried you on his back while telling you stories about all the things he’s found around here. He showed you a little cave not too far from the lake, a place where there used to be some animals living in there but have long since abandoned it due to flooding a couple years back. Simon warns you not to go around here because he thinks the wolves settle in here on some nights while they’re tracking the deer. You tell him that you’ll be fine because no matter where you go, Simon is going to be there to help you. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it, instead using his lips to give you a gentle kiss on the head.
But while Simon does all these things, he still holds himself back. He’s convinced that you’ll still find someone out at university when you leave. In fact, he wants you to.
“It’s not that I don’t like you, cub,” he reassures you. “But you should experience more besides just me. Only so much you can learn when it’s just the two of us out here.”
“But what if I fall in love and never come back?” He pauses, not having fully considered that.
Simon shrugs and continues on walking with you while holding your hand a little tighter. “I’ll still be here.”
You’re a little frustrated that you’re still kept at a distance, but you come to understand. Simon has told you that he’s a very greedy man. And the way he looks at you makes you think he might just lock you away in the cabin forever so you won’t have to go to school. But he knows that you want to go out there and grow and experience things, first. He wants that for you, too. That way when you do come back to him, he’ll know that you really mean it.
But not enough walks together, swimming in the lake, and kisses against trees can fully convince him that you do mean it. And eventually your time is up in the summer. It’s raining that day you’re supposed to leave and Simon waits for your ride to come so you can go to the airport.
“Are you going to miss me?” You ask him while sitting on the porch. Your head rests in your hands while you stare at the long road leading up to the cabin, not sure if you want the car to come sooner or later. Simon takes a drag of his cigarette and blows it off to the side where he’s leaning against one of the support beams. He’s not wearing his mask today. Whenever he comes to greet you, he’s taken to a habit of just not wearing it anymore.
“I will, cub. Don’t you worry.”
“But how am I going to know? I won’t be able to see you for nearly a year.” You turn to look at him. Simon continues to stare off in the distance. He wouldn’t admit it to you, but he’s actually quite upset that you’re leaving as well. He knows if he takes one long look at your face he might just risk it all and tell you to go unpack and to cancel everything. But he knows he shouldn’t. He looks towards you anyways.
“You asked me if I ever get lonely being out here alone,” he says. You nod when you remember the moment he was bandaging your hands. The lines have long since faded and there was no sign that they were there at all. However, Simon will occasionally trace his fingers over your palms in search of them, a silent apology to you. “I used to never think about it. I had the animals, I had me, s’all I ever needed. If I was so desperate to go into town, I could.”
“What changed?” You prod him, knowing that there’s an unsaid part to his sentence.
“You did, cub.” He smiles at you. His eyes are soft, longing. “You made me realize how much I missed… this.”
“So you just like me because I’m most convenient? The only girl around?” you tease him, knowing that’s not true. He chuckles and comes to sit by you on the step. His leg is pressed flush against yours. You’re shoulder to shoulder, and he offers you his cigarette to try. Against your better instincts, you take a drag and cough. It still tastes as disgusting as you’ve known. He grins and immediately takes a drag after you when you hurriedly give it back to him.
“There are plenty of girls in town when I go buy my monthly necessities,” he comments. You purse your lips in thought but aren’t jealous in the slightest. Because you already know how he feels about them. “It’s just this girl can’t stop getting into trouble around me. I’ve gotten too used to her antics.”
You laugh when he playfully hits your knee. He keeps his hand there while the two of you sit in comfortable silence.
When a car finally makes its way to the end of the road, you sigh. Simon stands and throws his cigarette into a little bin he’d brought out before heading inside to help grab all your things. You stay out by the front to talk to the driver, an old friend of your relatives who offered to help you go back to the airport.
It’s silent the whole time you load all the stuff in the car, but Simon makes quick work of it by loading all the heavy boxes with ease. The driver is making sure everything fits and is all squared away when you pull Simon aside for some last moments together.
“You take care, okay?” You don’t look him in the eyes, fearful you might cry. It’s not as if you won’t come back, but just the mere thought of being away for so long after you’ve gotten so attached… you wonder how you’re ever going to deal with it when you leave.
Simon hands you a slip of paper with an envelope. On it is his address printed out neatly for you. “Write to me. We’ll stay in touch.”
“How old fashioned,” you say with a small smile. “I’ll tell you everything that happens. That way you don’t miss anything that goes on. Everything.”
“Even about the boys?” He says with a raised eyebrow. The way he asks makes it sound like a challenge, like he has to know despite knowing he won’t want to. It might coax him to fly out to you and steal you for himself. Just knowing that warms you.
“Especially about the boys.”
Your grin drops shortly after. You know he wants you to go out on dates and talk to boys, but you would feel like you’re betraying Simon. You don’t want to leave him or move on from him. Simon sighs and moves forward to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“C’mon, cub. Eyes up. It’ll be hard for boys not to get talking to you. But just know that you still have me back here if you want.”
“I think I’ll always want you, Simon.”
He smiles. “You think?”
“I know.”
The two of you hug for a long moment and you do your best to memorize Simon’s scent. That familiar pine and that lingering cigarette smell of his. He’s warm and all you could ever ask for. It’s a sensation you already miss when you sit in the car, watching Simon standing there in the mirror as he gets further and further away. Eventually he fades into the distance and can’t be seen from all the raindrops on the window. Or maybe it’s your watering eyes.
When you think about it, you knew that you would find a piece of yourself by coming out here. Moving out to the forest in a little hideaway cabin gave you the perfect opportunity to figure yourself out. It was a stepping stone to living your independent life on your own, especially for the couple of years away at university. This was supposed to be a little get away from it all. It was a learning moment for you. But there was something anchoring you back to this little cabin in the woods. You’d left your heart in the forest with a man who would safely guard it until your return.