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The red turned to orange.
The tears dried up.
The sand transformed into grass.
The rain of petals twirled for a moment, the blue mixed with the reflection of the setting sun. It was not the orange rays of the show that awakened her.
No, that’s not what woke her up.
The sleep had been long. Her whole body kept this tiredness, soreness. It is as if she had carried the sky at arm’s length for years. She had exhausted her muscles to the task, she had given her heart, her mind, her blood.
But for what?
It didn’t matter now.
She felt like falling asleep again.
The sun caressed her skin with a warmth she never thought she would feel again. The relaxing sound of the breeze between the plants formed a lullaby. Her entire existence seemed to have revolved only around this moment of pure serenity.
She was at peace.
But sleep didn’t come.
One of the petals touched her cheekbone. Slowly, her lashes fluttered.
She opened her purple eyes gently.
The grass was high, and the first thing she saw was the sky. Not a blue and intimidating sky by its vastness of azure, on the contrary. It was a painting in which orange, yellow, a little mauve and pastel blue mingled. So clear, it could have been confused with a lagoon.
Above her the masterpiece extended on both sides of her vision.
It’s as if she was flying.
By a reflex she did not know, her wings stretched out beneath her. She thought for a moment that she would rush between the clouds and the rays of the sun, the wind beating in her temples. Freedom, just at the end of her knuckles, ready to be grasped. All she had to do was spread her wings, and she would be there.
That’s when she realized she wasn’t flying. The young woman was lying on the ground.
Turning her head, she noticed a blue butterfly among the roses. A drop of water among the thorns. The insect was innocently foraging for ruby flowers, its wings still trembling with this freedom. Freedom so pure, so beautiful, so rare.
It could fly. Fly so high, so far. And as if it had heard her, the butterfly flapped its beautiful wings for a moment, then flew away with the breeze.
It disappeared in the green and red of the hill.
Jaiden stood up, her wings brushed her back.
There was no more red sky, no more crushing heat, no more screaming.
Only her, the hill and the flowers.
She didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know what she was doing here.
But a smile blooms on her lips.
It was raining here.
It was not a natural rain in the cold of an abandoned mound. The drops whirled for a moment, reflecting the beautiful sunset before laying on the warm grass. Pearls not made of water, but petals playing with the wind.
She was pretty sure she was laying on a cloud. It seemed like a dream she never wanted to wake up from.
It was not long before memories came to disturb this sanctuary.
In a wave, she remembered everything.
The island. Her son. The Federation. The Islanders. The Trial. The elections. The disappearances. The Purgatory.
In a startle that she barely controlled, she immediately got up and swept the meadow away. Her inventory was empty, she had no weapons on her or any protection.
She was going to die.
Again.
She would fall.
Her body in a puppet state.
Again.
She will reappear.
To fight.
Again.
Until hell took her.
Finally.
But her breath was cut off. It was not the Purgatory.
Jaiden had spent days scouring the red island from top to bottom. And she had never seen such a place.
She watched her hands, white and pure. She turned to her wings, perfectly curled up against her back, impeccably whole. The feathers in shimmering gradations looked softer than silk. Her clothes were clean, and ideally arranged. Her hair tied in a bun letting some strands slide down her shoulders.
She was fine.
Nevertheless, in her memories still a little foggy, something remained. This something was a panic irrigating all her muscles, a visceral and powerful fear. A bitter and pungent feeling, hard to swallow, like the taste of blood. A feeling of injustice.
Yet, here, everything was fine.
She remembered running for a long time.
Or at least not long enough. She had not succeeded.
A shadow stood out in the horizon of the sea, disappearing.
Frustration, fear, sadness.
She had been screaming. Screaming so loud that her lungs had ripped out, screaming until she coughed blood, she had ripped out of her throat the last notes she could produce.
Suddenly there has been an immense, tearing sound, resounding throughout her body. A tornado had hit her hard. She had then swung, her face soaked in sweat and blood, into the warm ground.
Then Jaiden woke up here.
She took a great breath to silence her heart still anguished by all these images of violence and horror.
She stretched for a long time, as if to chase away the ghost of her panic still present in her entire body. Her wings unfurled gracefully, their gradients mirrored when she turned.
The young woman was in the middle of a large plain. The roses grew on both sides like thousands of spots on the green background.
She looked for a moment at the setting sun.
The gold it produced reverberated throughout the landscape, each strand of grass, each petal, each semblance of life were illuminated by the warm reflections.
She didn’t know where the petals falling around her were coming from. All of this had created a red mattress underneath her steps.
Gradually, the magic faded and the floral rain stopped.
Jaiden felt that something was happening.
It was the way her feathers suddenly fluffed, a chill ran along her back, her fingers began to swarm.
Her head suddenly turned.
A silhouette stood out at the top of the hill.
The young woman narrowed her eyes to distinguish the shape. For a few seconds, they measured each other, the vastness of the valley between them.
The silence lasted. The seconds elongated. Even the setting sun stopped its course. Mediator of this exchanged look, it let the mystery hover.
The shadow changed, on both sides of the silhouette’s body, two small forms appeared.
Jaiden widened her eyes.
Two small wings.
She immediately began to run.
Tears came to her eyes as the figure also began to soar toward her. Her feet barely touched the grass blades. Her wings spread greatly as she opened her arms wide.
Soon she could see the little wings fidget, the cries of the child resounded shortly afterwards.
Her heart was beating now, she felt it, as if awakened from its torpor. How long had it stopped ? Jaiden could have bet it has been since his death.
His death.
"BOBBY!"
The impact was quick.
The little child rushed into her arms, like a propelled rocket. The young woman almost fell backwards when she caught him.
Bobby sobbed loudly, grabbing his mother’s clothes like a lifebuoy. He was holding on so tight, as if just one single second of inattention and she could disappear, fly away, like a hummingbird in the azure.
"Bobby, I missed you so much ..."
Jaiden knelt down, squeezing against her the boy’s little body, feeling his wings palpitating, like his heart. Her trembling limbs tried somehow to never let go of him again. As if the sadness, the absence was standing there, between them, and that by dint of pressing against each other, they will manage to crush it, to erase it.
It could only be a dream.
That’s what Jaiden was thinking, refusing to let go of Bobby, even refusing to look at him longer. As long as she could feel him, as long as the child’s tears were crashing irregularly on her shoulder, trembling with life, she didn’t need more.
"I’m here now, I’m here" her voice full of emotions barely managed to be distinct.
Her eyes closed to block as much as she could the tears that threatened to fall. Bobby moved slightly and managed to pull his head out of his mother’s neck, his big, brown eyes as teary as her.
His face was the same, exactly the same as when he left them. His brown eyes ruffled and pinned under his headband. His little fangs noticeable between his trembling lips, two small and pointy horns coming out of his locks.
And his blue overalls, as chaotically taint with paint as ever.
“Mamá …” he murmured, unable to stop sniffing. His hands clung firmly to Jaiden’s clothes, not even daring to rub his tears, “I thought I would never see you again…”
“It’s over now Bobby, it’s over. I’m here”
She closed her soft wings on their two trembling bodies. She continued to promise, in a low voice, interweaving words after words in an infinite oath.
I won’t leave you. I won’t let you go. I’ll love you forever. This is where you and I will stay. This is where we’ll live now. Together, in my arms. This is where we’ll both exist, with each other. I’ll carry you till the end of time if it’ll make you feel better.
I never stopped being your mother, I would be forever.
Slowly, the sobs calmed down, and she succeeded to get back on her feet, the child still fragilely pressed against her heart.
This is how she used to put him to sleep before. When the kid had been running all day, he would come home full of adrenaline.
In those moments, only Jaiden could calm him down.
So she would take him in her arms, and she would walk. To go nowhere. She would let Bobby’s heartbeat settle with her own, like a melody only they had the secret to. They could stay there for hours, walking quietly in pursuit of the sun.
In pursuit of hope. In pursuit of a glimpse of a better life.
Then, just like before, as if nothing had changed, she began to walk.
The little child all huddled against her, their hearts pressed against each other.
She walked.
By closing her eyes, she could almost believe she was there again, back in time.
“Mom? If you’re there, it means that…”
“There is no need to talk about it” she replied slowly.
No, there was no need to say more. The view was magnificent, the sun still brought this heat, chasing the cold breeze of the beginning of the night. Under her feet, the earth had never been so soft, as the blades of grass grazed her ankles like pieces of clouds.
“Did Apá Roier …” he continued, however, his childish curiosity taking up more space than his mother’s advice.
Jaiden could not help but stiffen, her feet stopping for a moment. Bobby immediately stopped sliding his little fingers through her black locks. The young woman took a deep breath, and she started walking again.
“No, I’m sorry”
That’s one of the things she was sure of. A truth anchored in her even before she woke up here. She was the only one who ran after the boat, the only one who screamed to get there, the only one that failed.
She woke up here alone, just like how she fell asleep. Alone.
A sniff immediately rose, and Bobby put his little arms around her neck. This time, trembling a little more, he hurried to wipe the tears that flowed.
“You know, mijo, your father fought bravely” she murmured, the emotion covered her throat again, but she swallowed her sadness and continued to speak, “He was one of the most feared warriors”
“Really?” the child asked, lifting his glowing eyes towards her.
“Oh yes, that’s why he got away” Jaiden squeezed Bobby a little more, stroking his back up and down, “The first diamond sword he could make in the Purgatory, he named it after you” she couldn’t help but smile, “He told me « I would do it for us »”
Bobby smiled, and nodded. He put his little wet cheek against her skin as she continued to walk toward the horizon.
It was so good here. She felt like she was finally at her place.
“And he did it, mijo. He succeeded, he left safe and sound” Jaiden kissed his forehead, rocking it for a moment.
“And you … why you …”
Jaiden took another deep breath as her heart tightened.
She focused on her steps, on Bobby’s breathing, all against her, the soft grass under her feet, the comforting warmth of the sun.
“I’ve never been a good runner,” she smiles, turning her head to him, “And I had to find my son again, didn’t I?”
“But I didn’t want you to die!” the child suddenly exclaimed with round eyes.
His pupils, similar to the young woman’s, shone. His face tensed out, and to fight the sudden sadness, he frowned.
“Even if we would have never hugged again, I wanted you to keep living !” he said, even louder.
He struggled a little and Jaiden put him on the ground. With a determined air that she recognized so well, he took her arms in his tiny hands. The young woman could not help but smile at his words.
“I would have waited here as long as it takes ! I am very patient when I want to !” he tried to appear angry but his lips trembled uncontrollably, “Apá Roier will never be able to live without you, mamá, he barely knows how to eat without getting dirty!” a tear sank, and he hurried to wipe it before taking her hands back, “And Tio Foolish still spends too much time in his tower, who will get him out now!'
Bobby’s shoulders soon began to shake, and this time he had to use his two hands to wipe the tears from his eyes.
“And Tio Bad, and Tio Mariana, and Tio Cellbit, and let’s not talk about Richarlyson or Leo, or even Dapper and Chayanne …” he continued, lowering his head to let the salt beads wet the blades of grass.
He was crying heavily now, small whimpers and sobs escaping him over and over again. Jaiden took his shoulders in her hands and pulled him towards her in a gentle embrace. She let the little boy shed her sadness on her shoulder for a moment. Her heart tight to hear him weep. He was still so young. He didn’t have time to grow up. Bobby was right, she was going to miss the others terribly.
But deep down, the young woman knew it, all her sacrifices had been worth it.
“Bobby, listen to me…” she whispered softly, and chose her words very delicately, “When you arrived here, I was very sad, for a very long time. I was trying to see the light after all this storm, but it was long, and difficult.”
The little boy stared at her with big teary eyes, both determined to answer something, but confused by his mother’s words.
“I ran after the sunset every day to spend some time with you” she continued, her lips a little trembling but her heart light, “I spent all my time in the place I built in your memory. There was a beautiful tree there, and I built a treehouse at the top that you would have loved. I would sometimes sit for hours until it was completely dark.”
The breeze interrupted her for a moment, and let her hair fly. The little boy’s locks, so similar to those of the young woman, described the same movements.
“I didn’t know how to live without you anymore. I never considered myself a good mother, you know?” she allowed herself to laugh for a moment, “But I put all my love, every day, into what was left of you. Nothing worked, I was sad and isolated, confused and frustrated” it was Bobby’s turn to have trembling lips, as if he felt all the weight of the guilt on his thin shoulders, so Jaiden went on, “But little by little I got better, you know?”
“In serio?” he asked in a small voice.
“In serio” she replied, with her bad Spanish accent, “Mourning, Bobby, is like a stone in the bottom of the heart, like a broken rib” the dragon child raised a small eyebrow, his red and blue wings shifting, “The heart get filled with other things, it grows, the broken rib eventually repairs itself. Yet the pain remains, always, but we learn to live with it” but some tears finally flowed. “We always end up having to move on mihijo, because life moves on without us”
“So … Apá Roier chose to move on?” he smiled a little reassured as Jaiden nodded.
“And I chose to rest, just for a few moments. But it was too late, and when I opened my eyes…” she explained slowly, as gently as possible for the child.
“You were here” he completed.
Jaiden let her gaze wander in the plain. It looked a little bit like Bobby Fields, but the perpetual sunset and the green and red expanses were not quite the same. However the first time she opened her eyes here she felt it.
This was not a place of sadness. It was good.
“I love this place,” she ends up whispering as the child approaches her again to take her hand in his, “You didn’t get too bored here alone?”
“I am not alone” he immediately replied, “I almost forgot! They must all be waiting for us!” suddenly, as if nothing had happened, the child smiled with all his teeth, jumping almost on the spot.
“They? Who are they?” Bobby started pulling her arm, so she got up and let his enthusiasm guide her.
“Them! They’re all here, Mom!” the child was even laughing now, running between the blades of grass and roses, the young woman after him, “Juannaflippa, Tilin and Trump of course! There are even Tio Maximus, Tio Dan and Tio Spreen! And a strange man with long pink hair, he looks a little like a pig, but he’s very strong!”
Jaiden let a small laugh escape and her heart got excited at the idea of meeting old friends. This place had been the home of her loved ones before she even opened her eyes. But who could blame them ? This field was a piece of Paradise.
“I am glad to see that you were in good company”
They climbed up the big hill together, each bursting with laughter as Bobby nearly slipped several times. Fortunately, she was always here to prevent him from sliding down. The wind was much stronger now, and Jaiden thought that if she opened her wings too wide, she might even fly away.
Once at the top, she saw several silhouettes in the distance, and she raised her hand high to greet them.
The gold of the hot and setting sun reflected on her palm as she, like Bobby, ran to join her family.
Oh, how much she missed this feeling of fluttering happiness in her chest.