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“You know we’re going to be late soon, right?” Eddie tipped his head back against the passenger headrest of Buck’s jeep, staring out of the windshield towards the open doors of the 118 firehouse.
“Does it count as being late if we’re technically here?”
“Technically, nobody knows we’re actually here.” Eddie reached over, taking Buck’s hand from where it was gripped against the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. “Are you nervous? Because we don’t have to-,”
“No. No, I want to.” Buck curled his fingers around Eddie’s, squeezing his hand. “I promise, I do, I’m just…it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid if it’s how you feel, sweetheart.” He brought their joined hands up to press a gentle kiss against the back of Buck’s hand. “Talk to me.”
“It’s just, they’re our family, right? And we’ve been a family for years and the dynamic we have, it works, doesn’t it? Everything is going so well at the minute. I don’t want to go in there and…disrupt it, I guess.” Buck heaved a sigh, forehead crinkled as he ran through every conceivable outcome his overactive mind could come up with.
“And you think we could?”
It wasn’t meant to sound harsh - and Eddie knew Buck would know that - but they’d promised one another to be more open and honest, discussing every thought and worry they had as they tried to navigate the new dynamics of their relationship.
They’d spent several weeks stuck in between, the both of them being aware of one another’s feelings, endless conversations and worries about what to do next, whether to step into something more - something that went deeper than friendship, something that was special and rare to find - or keep what they already had.
It had taken a long time to get to the point of acknowledging what they were feeling for one another and even longer to realise that it was okay to have it. To have more. But realising it and acting on it were two very different things, especially when it sent ripples out through the rest of their family - both with Christoper, and the 118.
“I don’t think so. Deep down, I know it’ll be okay. But my head won’t stop spinning which is stupid because I love all of them, and I know they love me - us. They’d probably be happy for us.” Buck paused for a second. “They will be happy for us, I know they will.”
“But that doesn’t stop you from being worried.” Eddie continued for him. “And that’s completely fine. I’m nervous, too. It’ll probably take everyone time getting used to us being together but it doesn’t change anything. Except maybe I get to kiss you whenever I want to, now.”
Eddie leaned over the gearstick and pressed a gentle kiss to Buck’s cheek, the corner of his lips curving upwards as he felt the skin under his lips warm from Buck’s blush. He trailed mouth up, pressing an even softer kiss under Buck’s eye, followed by one final one in his hairline.
“You know if you want to wait, we can. There’s no pressure.” Eddie promised him as he leaned back into his own seat. “There’s no conditions to this, to us. We can take it at whatever pace we want to. And if you’re not ready yet, we can wait. There’s going to be things I need baby steps for and things where you need to take more time. And it’s okay.”
“When did you get so wise?” Buck smiled, rolling his head to the side to meet Eddie’s gaze.
“Buck, we’re raising a teenage son. A teenage son who is turning into a little know-it-all. I promise you, there’s nothing I’ve not been grilled about when it comes to this.”
“Chris is giving you dating advice?” Buck snorted, taking the car keys out of the ignition and taking off his seatbelt.
“Well, in his eyes, you’re perfect. So I, apparently, need all the advice I can get not to mess it up.”
Buck reached behind Eddie’s seat, grabbing both of their duffels and passing the one labelled ‘Diaz’ over to him. “I am pretty perfect, aren’t I?” Buck gave him a wide grin, settling back into his seat.
“No, you’re a menace.”
“A perfect menace, though, right?” Buck grabbed the strap of his duffel in one hand, and the door handle in the other before taking one last glance at Eddie and giving him a slight nod of the head to let him know he was ready.
Eddie couldn’t help but smile back, pushing the passenger door open and climbing out.
Something like that, he thought to himself, the sound of the car doors shutting, echoing behind him.
-
1.
“This is weird, right?” Buck asked, leaning against his locker. “Or am I losing my mind?”
Eddie looked up from where he was tying up his shoes on the bench. “What do you mean?”
“Nobody’s said anything.”
“We’ve been here 10 minutes, Buck.” He stood up from the bench, and closed his own locker. “And we agreed to just be natural, didn’t we? If they figure it out, they figure it out.” He shrugged.
“I know but like, isn’t it obvious?” Buck couldn’t help but wonder, leaning further into Eddie’s personal space.
“It’s not like we’ve got giant neon signs above our head, telling everyone we’re in love. Otherwise, they’d have probably known a lot sooner that we did.”
“Right, right.” Buck agreed, fingertips tapping against his thigh as he thought. “Do you think we should just tell them?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should just make out like teenagers until someone notices?” He joked, grin faltering as he saw Buck’s face light up. “No I was joking, we-,”
“That sounds like a perfect idea.” Buck murmured, voice lowered as he took a step forward, hands grasping Eddie’s hips to push him flush against the metal lockers, his own body following suit.
“Buck. Eddie. Breakfast!” Bobby called from the top floor.
“Maybe next time.” He reached down, pulling a reluctant Buck’s away from his hips. “C’mon. I’m starving.” Eddie laughed at Buck’s forlorn expression on his face, giving him a gentle shove towards the door.
2.
Buck knew he liked watching people. Not, in a creepy way. But just, observing. He liked watching Bobby fill out his paperwork on the shared table as they relaxed, chatting about their lives over a mug of coffee as they waited for the next call to come through.
He liked watching Hen restocking the ambulance meticulously after a call and Chim cleaning the ladder truck. Their conversation echoing over the top of his head from where he was sat on the side of the truck.
There was something calming about it. Knowing everyone was safe and well.
It was no surprise that his favourite person to watch was Eddie. Watching him always made Buck feel content but now he allowed himself to truly feel (and identify) the feelings he felt, the zing of heat that trailed down his spine and settled low in his stomach, the flutter in heart knowing that Eddie was his.
Even when he was watching him do the most mundane of tasks like the dishes or laundry or now, as he took stock of the engine’s contents, re-rolling the firehose.
(Okay, that one was slightly less mundane as Buck fixated on the curve of his spine and the way his trousers stretched that little bit tighter across his ass as he bent over.)
The point was, Buck was used to staring at Eddie. But never before had he been so aware of just how much he stared. And, he couldn’t help but feel like everyone else in the firehouse was aware of him staring.
If he got into his head (which he was desperately trying to do less of), he’d probably stop and never make eye contact with Eddie whilst at work again.
But a selfish part of him didn’t want to stop.
They’d spent years stealing fleeting glances at one another when the other wasn’t looking and now they were allowed to look. To brush their hands together while they worked and not feel any type of (negative) way about it.
Neither of them were hiding it and yet no one mentioned it. Buck had been fully prepared for them to be teased and teased some more over making heart eyes at Eddie whilst he worked and he was only a little bit freaked out when no one said anything.
He didn’t know why he was panicking so much over the rest of his family not being aware of their relationship (his therapist would more than likely tell him he was looking for validation in others) but he also didn’t know how to stand up and say it without it being awkward.
Plus, they both felt like idiots for not being more aware of what was growing between them from the start. So they carried on as normal, hoping someone else would mention it so they didn’t have to.
3.
The first call they went on when they were together didn't feel any different. They had both discussed it before (and after), and it was one of their biggest worries. That everything would be too much to even focus on the job at hand - more panic, more worry, more apprehension. Just…more of everything.
And while there were things that were different, they had enough trust in one another and their roles, for it to feel the exact same as before.
The journey there always felt like the calm before the storm. The team would try and relax, sharing jokes over the headsets but the most calming part of it all, was the way Eddie could feel Buck’s knee digging into the side of his thigh as he sat opposite him.
It was grounding in a lot of ways, and provided him with the distraction he needed during the journey.
After the call though, that was different. They all felt like they could breathe a little easier, the tension in their shoulders releasing, knowing that everyone was safe and the emergency was taken care of.
This was one of Eddie’s favourite moments, even with the exhaustion settling in his bones. He allowed himself to tip his head back against the headrest, eyes barely open and just openly stare across at Buck.
At the slight flush still in his cheeks, red from exertion, at the smattering of soot on his forehead and down his neck. But most importantly, how bright his eyes always shone in these moments. Like nothing would ever top the feeling of being able to save people, like nothing would ever make him feel more alive than this moment.
Eddie couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with him whenever he saw him like this (and when you work 24 hour shifts together, at least 3 times a week, Eddie had done a lot of falling over the years. And yet, he knew he was nowhere near the bottom yet.)
He couldn’t help but nudge his boot against Buck’s ankle, selfishly wanting his attention on himself, rather than Buck looking out of the window.
Eddie watched as Buck’s head snapped over to meet his gaze, visibly relaxing when he saw there was nothing wrong. He grinned back at Eddie, shifting his legs to curl around one of Eddie’s ankles, trapping it between Buck’s own.
The heat from Buck’s body felt like the perfect blanket of warmth as Eddie let his eyes drift closed. Buck always ran hot and whilst he pretended to complain, Eddie couldn’t help but seek out the comfort he gained from being close to Buck.
He couldn’t help but smile wider as he felt Buck drag his fingertips over his thigh to tangle their fingers together, their hands entwined between their two bodies.
And if anyone else had noticed the two of them, giggling in the corner with one another, their legs and hands tangled together, nobody had said anything.
4.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Eddie shuffled closer to where Buck was curled into the corner of the couch, his latest non-fiction book in hand. He and Christopher were off to the space exhibition downtown in a few weeks and, of course, they were both learning as much as they could before they went.
Sometimes Eddie was in disbelief and just how much Chris and Buck were alike. Other times, it felt so natural he himself didn't even realise.
“Hey,” Buck gave Eddie a tired smile, shuffling on the couch to make more room for Eddie, who sat down next to him, head resting on his bicep. “You okay?”
“All good.” He pressed a kiss to Buck’s bicep, reaching for the remote for the TV that was currently broadcasting the local news on mute. The screen giving the room a soft blue glow. “Mind if I watch something?”
“Of course not.”
Eddie felt Buck’s warm hand curl around his chin, tilting his head up so their lips could meet. He couldn’t help the content hum he let out, taking Buck’s bottom lip between his own, briefly deepening the kiss before pulling away, their mounts disconnecting with a slick sound.
“Where is everyone?” Buck asked, one hand holding his book with his thumb keeping his place whilst his other hand padded through Eddie’s hair, damp from the shower.
“Chim and Hen are in the bunk room, think Bobby’s in his office.” Eddie shuffled back down the firehouse’s couch, curling along the remaining space like a cat, head resting back on Buck’s chest.
It wasn’t as if either of them were worried about being caught, but at this point, it had become a weird thing. Either the rest of the 118 were ignoring the shift in their relationship, or they genuinely hadn’t realised.
Eddie had spoken about it with Buck and had agreed at this point it, 3 months into an ‘official’ relationship, would be weird to now announce it. So they left it alone and ended up stuck in this weird limbo of knowing but not knowing.
5.
“Alright,” Bobby shouted as they jumped out of the engine, “Hen, Chim, you’re taking the people over here. I want you to do triage and move them as quickly as you can. Eddie, Buck, I want you on the ladder on the B-Side. Let’s try and get this fire contained as quickly as possible.”
“On it, Cap.” Eddie confirmed, shrugging into the last of his turn out gear. He turned back to the truck, grabbing their equipment before meeting Buck on the top of the ladder truck.
They worked seamlessly together - as they always did - manoeuvring the ladder into place and securing their gear.
“Alright, go get ‘em, Cowboy.” Eddie checked the harness once more, pulling on the line.
Buck’s hand curled tighter around the ladder rail, heat flooding through his veins. He took a breath, mind flashing back to the night before, Buck on top of Eddie, their bodies grinding together, his nails digging into Eddie’s chest as he lifted himself over him again and again.
His thoughts were brought sharply back into focus with the quick sting of Eddie’s hand connecting with his ass cheek.
Fuck.
Buck stumbled up one of the steps, his breath catching in his throat. He paused for a second, remembering where he was, before he did anything rash (like jump Eddie right where he stood.)
“Eddie.” Buck hissed, turning back to face his boyfriend, a less than intimidating glare on his face, paired with flushed cheeks. He checked around them, everyone busy working on their own tasks. Breathing a sigh of relief (this was definitely not the time or the place to unpack them with the rest of the team - although it would have ripped the band aid off, in one way.)
“What?” Eddie’s grin widened. “Just reminding you of what you’ve got waiting for you.”
“Like I could forget.” He mumbled, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Good.” Eddie hummed. “Be safe up there, yeah? Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
They both knew the warning was useless - Buck was going to do whatever needed to be done to protect people and Eddie knew that. In many ways, he was exactly the same.
“You’re not any less reckless than I am.” Buck steadied himself, dragging his eyes across Eddie’s form before giving him a light nod. “See you in a minute.” He promised.
+1
Buck climbed up the stairs at the firehouse, his duffel bag hitting his back with each step. “I’ll see you all next shift. Don’t have too many fun calls without me.” He grinned at the rest of the team who were all sat around the table.
“Wait, where are you going? We’ve still got two hours.” Chim frowned, eyes darting straight to Bobby’s.
“I’m taking Christopher out. We’re going to the zoo - they’re doing this late afternoon feeding with the lions. Eddie was too afraid to be eaten in the dark, so Chris volunteered to come with me.” Buck explained, resting his hands on Eddie’s shoulders as he stood over him.
“I am not afraid.” Eddie huffed in response, leaning back against his chair so his shoulder could brush against Buck’s arm.
“Of course not.” Buck laughed, eyes meeting Hen’s across the table who had an equally wide grin on her face.
“Whatever.” Eddie tipped his head back to meet Buck’s gaze. “If you get eaten, don’t phone me. I’ll be too busy eating pizza in the safety of our house. Away from the wild animals.”
“Actually,” Buck started. “You’re more likely to encounter a wild animal at home, than we are from being eaten at the zoo. But thank you for your concern, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” He leaned down, meeting Eddie’s lips in a kiss that was second nature.
Eddie hummed, pressing his lips back against Buck’s soft ones, warmth blossoming in his chest. He brought his hand up to squeeze Buck’s elbow. “Have fun, baby.” He mumbled against his lips.
“We will.” Buck promised as he pulled back.
“Um…” Hen started, glancing between the two of them.
“When did this happen?” Chim exclaimed, a handful of popcorn, paused between the bowl and his mouth.
“Um.” Buck paused, looking around the table at the shock on each of their faces. “Like 6 months ago.” He shifted his weight where he stood, sharing a fleeting look with Eddie before glancing back around the table. “Wait, you guys genuinely didn’t know?”
“No!” Chim huffed, popcorn falling out of his hand as he pointed between the two of them.
“We thought you were just ignoring it or something.” Eddie blushed, running his hands through his hair in discomfort as the rest of the team continued to stare at the pair of them.
“Well, I for one, thought you’d been together years.” Ravi leaned back, pleased with himself as he folded his arms across his chest, wide grin on his face. “Married, even.”
Eddie and Buck turned to one another, equal blush on their faces.
“We’re not married.” Eddie mumbled out the confirmation. “But, thanks. I think.”
“We honestly thought you guys knew.” Buck promised them. “I mean, not at first, we were sort of waiting for you to notice and to bring it up. And then you never did. So we just…thought you didn’t care or want to like, embarrass us, or whatever.” He gave a shrug.
The six of them sat for a moment, all of them staring at one another before Bobby let out a loud sigh, standing up from his seat.
“I’ll go get the paperwork.”