Work Text:
Dear Mrs Turner,
I am sorry to hear your visit to your sister is rather a tedious one. I fully understand you should be looking for further amusement, when your sister’s idea of a pleasant day is one quiet glass of sherry in the early evening before retiring to bed. I look forward to your return to town and in the meantime record for your entertainment the following, which happened earlier today.
I was searching for the second set of coal tongs, which had mysteriously disappeared. My deduction of their likely whereabouts would have been a credit to my lodger. I recalled I had seen them the other day, of that I was sure. It was when Mr Holmes was... (I shall tell you about this on your return). I dropped the tongs in a hurry by the broom cupboard and pushed them into the cupboard to make sure I didn’t fall over them. Considering the amount of traffic the cupboard gets I presumed they had probably been kicked to the back.
Accordingly, I was in the broom cupboard when I heard two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs, which paused on the landing. I have been the landlady at 221 Baker Street for sufficient time to be able to identify the footsteps of my lodgers and their regular visitors. Mr Holmes is quite light on his feet and seems forever in a hurry and these footsteps were much firmer and more measured. I therefore concluded this was Dr Watson and Inspector Lestrade.
They had paused and I realised it was possible they were planning on using my cupboard for purposes for which it was not intended. I therefore pushed the snick on the lock to prevent their entry. I was just in time, for no sooner had I done so than the door was rattled and I heard the doctor’s voice saying “That’s strange, Holmes had told me he was going out. Confound the man.”
The inspector replied, “Never mind, there’s always later.” And the two men continued down the stairs.
Once I was assured they had left I opened the cupboard door and resumed my search for the coal tongs. However, no sooner had I found them, but I heard the front door open again. I am not sure what instinct made me do it, but I again closed the door and remained inside the cupboard.
This time the two sets of footsteps were much lighter, so I concluded this was Mr Holmes and Inspector Hopkins. As he came up the stairs I heard Mr Holmes say, “I believe I saw Watson and Lestrade walking down the road as we approached the house, we could therefore have a brief respite halfway up the stairs.”
Once more the door was rattled. There was a pause and then young Hopkins said, “I too thought I saw them, we must have been mistaken.”
In order to prevent further misuse of my cupboard I decided I would take the opportunity to thoroughly dust both the landing and stairs. Therefore, it was not until much later, when I was returning the cleaning implements to the cupboard, that I heard Mr Holmes and the doctor coming upstairs together.
From my position I could hear they were arguing, and apparently neither would believe the other’s denial of having been in the cupboard. At the appropriate moment, just as they were passing by, I emerged, bearing the carpet beater. Both men blushed and ran up the stairs far faster than is becoming to middle-aged gentlemen.
I am now about to partake in a large gin. Rest assured I shall have purchased another bottle in time for your return, as I suspect you will be in need of it following your current sherry consumption.
With my best wishes,
Martha Hudson