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Every time Cullen sends his Inquisitor to battle, it doesn’t get any easier.
Well, the first time, admittedly was. They were a small organization at first, the beginning stages of becoming the unknowingly soon famed Inquisition, sole goal in mind to stop the Breach and stop whoever was it’s creator.
Afterall, there was no real dangers she would come across at the time other than the aftermath of the Mage and Templar war. And perhaps her sly comments didn’t help how casual he felt about waving her off. She could handle herself. She’s apparently been doing so while protecting her twin and qunari partner in crime for the past 10 years now.
He ignores how he saw her heading to the medic area, holding her side with a faux smirk. He nods to her and she does vice versa towards him. Even waving at him with her free arm, eyes in a teasing squint.
She’s still up and walking, so he’s sure she’s fine. And with that satisfied, he goes back in and ignores the look Leliana no doubt sends him from the doorway.
The next occurrence had to be the one centered around Redcliffe. He had many uneasy doubts, unmoving from the idea of contacting the Templars first instead.
She brushed it off with the promise she’ll send her sister and some of the other helping hands on deck, ideally Cassandra and Solas, onto that task. He remained with lingering ones, even as the apparent mage from Tevinter-here himself to stop the Venatori that reigned from his Country- came sauntering in, popping a smirk towards the elf. She has no hesitation in doing it right back. A weird tightening hits his throat and he clears it, turning to just sending his ‘Good Lucks’ to the two.
Bellatrix meets his eye and raises a brow at his curt tone, but decidedly turns to the task at hand. She and Dorian plus Bull and Sera leave for RedCliffe, marking another mission launched.
The Operation ends faster than he expected, and as he watches as the two come back into the Haven a few days later, another expectation of his is quickly dismissed.
He suspected with such a fast victory she'd be all smiles and back at that go-ready attitude she’s been flaunting since they dismissed her status as suspect and became a main core piece of the Inquisition. Strutting up with a ‘what’s next?’ or a wink at him, a witty line about the mages not being as big of a worry as he thought.
And she did all that.
But behind that smirk, behind that nudge into his arm that she’s been doing more lately amongst other things in his presence, there’s a hollowness, and a lingering glint that he dare say looked like fear. And it didn’t help how she looked at him, looked at Leliana, Bull, Sera. Like a she’s looking upon ghosts in her presence, her skin a tad paler than usual as she hides behind her grinning mask.
It wasn’t until she shrugged and explained what happened at Josephine’s prompting that they found out why.
A different timeline. A different ending. One where she and Dorian were presumed dead and they went to war with this…Master of sorts, the person behind it all. Many died, Sera and Bull were captured underneath the keep along with Leliana. The Whereabouts of many of the other companions were unknown. Including Cullen.
Afterwards, as Leliana and Josphine gave Bellatrix and the others some time to recoup before the march upon the Breach, they were going to wait for her sister and others to return but time is getting shorter, Cullen found her lingering in the Great Hall doorway, Dorian at her shoulder.
The Tevinter notices his approach and pats her on the shoulder.
“But still, not bad for a Southerner, I’d say.” His lip brow curls with his sly grin.
“Yeah yeah, Vint.” The elf’s eyes roll, a drag in them. “Guess you Magisters aren’t bad either.”
A wry glint and he gives her one last friendly pat before he’s off, “Get some rest, my dear, you’ll need it later.”
She chuckles, tiredly, and Cullen wanders up to her side. His brow deepens a bit, brown eyes switching from the leaving man to her.
“My dear?”
“Yes, honey?” Her head lolls to him, eyes fluttering.
He blinks, pausing abruptly. “I-i..I meant-” Cullen clears his throat, trying to fight the growing heat rising to his sharp cheeks. “What- what he said just now?”
“He’s fancy.” One shoulder lifts and falls. But her head leans on the frame, looking through hooded eyes towards him, “Why? You jealous, Blondie?”
“Hardly.” His eyes roll, shaking his head.
“How are you doing?” He can’t help but ask. Watching as she leans rather weightful on the doorway.
“Aw, don’t worry, handsome, I’m a big girl.” She giggles, leg nudging into his. He trails his glance down, the least enthusiastic he’s seen her, then back at her. “Just tired.” She deflects smoothly, back straightening. She remains leant up on the wood behind her however.
“I could also mean from what you saw. The other world you told of?” His brow points at her.
She goes silent. Watching him openly. He’s not afraid to hold her gaze.
“I’m a big girl.” She sniffs and looks over to the fire in front of the Great Hall entrance area. “I’ll be fine, Blondie.”
“At least allow someone to worry about you, then.” He steps closer, ducking closer.
“As what? An Associate? A co-worker?” She barks a laugh, making his gaze.
“As a friend at the very least.” The man meets her eyes, calm yet confident. Assured.
It nearly stops the air in her throat.
Forcing it to clear silently, her lips press tight.
“Alright…” She swallows. A light wave of sudden shyness flows over her and she smirks, ignorant to the heat in her face. “At the very least, Blondie.”
“At the very least, Bella!”
Is all he had to say to get her to finally sit her ass down on his desk, more reluctantly pulling her shirt off compared to any other time.
Him, had taken off his heavy armor himself, takes no time in dressing the wound.
Apparently she, in her own words, ‘Had a little too much fun with a desert prowler’ in the Western Approach and ended up with a nasty cut on her left.
She hisses, a mouthy curse in her native tongue as he presses a cotton swab to the top, trailing dabs down slowly, carefully. Cleaning stained blood as he goes.
“Aww,” Before he would be nothing but whispering sweet nothings to her as he worked her through a process they both no doubt have been apart of numerous times. Now…”Quit being such a big baby.”
“Where’s my worrisome Commander at? Huh?” She actually whines. A wall she’s been able to drop after a good while.
“Oh hush, love, he’s still here.” He drops the bloodied fabric into a bowl, picking up some string and a needle next. “He’s been here since the moment you decided running through the gate on your great stallion with a slashed up side was the best choice amongst the many you’ve made.”
“My Great stallion, eh?” Her smirk is telling. He deadpans then proceeds to start pushing the needle in.
Her hands fly to the desk, “FUCK! Fuck- fuck me!” She spits, angeling her head up. Eyes tight shut.
“Later. Once your side isn’t mimicking Cassandra’s training dummy.”
“Ooooo, that a promise?- CULLEN - SWEET CREATORS!”
“Blondie!”
Just as he thought his head would be flying off into the evergreen pond, a lighting green comes into his vision, taking out the corrupted Templar in his wake.
Then an arm wraps around his, pulling him up as a palm cups his cheek.
“Hey, hey, you okay?” Her eyes pool into his.
Her crew and Estel take out the others, finishing them off in mere moments. All as he catches his breath and nods at her questioning look.
“Yes, yes.” His gloved hand clenched hers, interlacing their fingers as he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she’s here.
She can handle herself, he knows. But with all this fighting going around him, a Commander can’t help but worry.
His Inquisitor beams wearily at him. Thumb rubbing his scruff.
“Inquisitor, as lovely as this scene is, we need to get to Mythal’s Temple soon.” A serene yet somehow tantalizing annoying voice cuts their moment of shared relief of finding each other just fine. “Unless you wish for Corepheus to continue getting his head start?”Morrigan asks, bracing down her staff.
Immediately he feels the need to chuckle, watching her happy expression drop into clear irritation. A twitch in her eye and she reluctantly lets him go. His hand finds hers, catching it in a squeeze.
Bellatrix manages a smile.
“You alright?” He asks as the others check in with each other. Bull pulling a large Red- Templar off one of his men, the shaken man getting pulled up, or more yanked up, a moment later. Solas sends a light air of healing magic into the closests soldiers, getting relieved thank yous or grateful nods, all of which he offers a small nod of his own in response.
“I’ll be better without the constant mansplaining of my own culture.” She shakes her head, gripping his palm tight.
Her companions call her to move forward.
“Go. We’ll be fine here, Inquisitor.” He ducks his head at her.
She hesitates for a mere moment more, glancing from them to him. Allowing only Cullen to see her worry clear as day.
His sword in one hand, he uses the other to pull up her knuckles as he kisses them gently. Brown eyes talking to her purple.
‘I’ll be alright.’
She nods, “Same.”
Then they let go.
“I’ve..I’ve never had to deal with people waiting for me back home before.”
The memory surfaces to his head, a time of dark shadows, faint glows of the embered fireplace cascading upon her walls as they lay in her bed. Her hand, ungloved and glittering a fair green light between them, as she drums it on the covers. He slowly takes it up in his-she used to not let him touch that one at all, terrified of it hurting anyone more than just herself- and pulls up her knuckles to leave a sweet kiss on her skin.
He focuses on her words and becomes aware again of the mess on her desk, more cotton balls bloodied and tangled with cut thread and needles again.
“Really now? Not a single person during your mercenary years? Not one?” He lightly teases over her hand. Her head ducks, eyes staring into his chest. The same place a slight glint of satisfaction purrs, to know he’s the only one that can make the stone-cold, ever ready Inquisitor of the Inquisition turn into a one similar to a shy, blushing schoolgirl just from one look towards her.
“Estel sometimes, but she and Fuliz mostly stayed at my side on jobs.” A light huff as she pushes her hand towards his chest, rubbing his collarbone. He doesn’t hesitate and in less than a few seconds, he’s grasping at her hip, pulling her into him with a kiss on her unruly hair.
“Never felt this…this odd domesticity.”
“Something so simple as someone worrying over you?”
She turns her head up to his half lidded gaze. Her eyes are no short from vulnerable felt, softly wide and caressing each of his features.
“No. But..” Her lip quirks, a heat making its way up to her face as he matches her. “I like it. I ike this.”
“Good.” His arm stretches around her, coddling her bare shoulders, the other letting his hand cup the side of her face as he peppers small kisses on her forehead and down, all the way until he meets her smiling lips with a grin of his own. “Then know I’ll always be here until you return, everytime, my Inquisitor.”
The name she snorts at, wacking his shoulder with no malice before tugging him as if he wasn’t close enough.
As Bellatrix ordered for a good quarter of the remaining military to escort the people, workers to refugees, to the hidden parts of the keep as well as arm the others to the teeth in the worse case scenario things fall short, she marches out of the room with a hearty goodluck from Leliana and a worried be careful from their sweet Josephine following her back. Cullen needs a mere nod from Leliana to let go of any remaining ideals of being only their Commander in this moment and rushes after her.
She pauses at his call, from checking her belt for her grenades, her makeshift enchanter from her built in gloves.
“I know you know how to handle yourself but-”
Bellatrix stops him with a lone palm on his chest as he saddles up to her. He meets her eyes in his pause, they soften and seem to strain with worry.
In slides a small, delicate smile on her face, so vulnerable even her sister wouldn’t be allowed to see.
Only for him and her.
“But,” she finishes his line, “you’re worried.”
“Deadly so.” He swallows. Out of nerves, yes. For both her and the giant new hole in the sky. For the blasted abominated monster who awaits his lover at the core of that hole.
A battle neither know she’ll come back from.
So much more than just her not reacting when she needs to, nor blocking when time comes right. What if the mark kills her as a counter reaction to the orb she finds, what if Corepheus uses such a power upon her, bending her to his will.
She must see his spiral because she, gently as she ever has, plucks up his hand and brings it to her lips.
“Please,” he dreads, “Please be careful. Keep your shields up, your sides guarded.” She’s smiling more fully now. “Make sure your potions are stocked, magic kept full. And don’t do that little trick you adore where you just go off the handle, please stick close to your team. Don’t be our hero when you don’t need to be.”
She hrms. She’s listening, he knows, but she continues, “Unfortunately, Blondie, I gotta be the hero right now.”
“I know. I hate it.”
“I’ll be back.” One look at the outside of where they stand makes it hard to believe her. It’s not undone on them.
“Just…” He doesn’t have much time, probably won’t after this, so he decides now is for the best.
“Just remember….I love you..so much.”
Her eyes widen but then..crumble.
A tear falls and she’s pulling him to meet her lips.
It feels long, but it’s relatively short. He locks his arms around her waist and back, tight and wanting so badly to keep her there till the end of time. Her’s end up in his hair, no doubt going to leave a image sent back with him when he has to go back to the others for preparations.
They couldn’t care less.
Her hands slide down to cup his cheeks as his reluctantly fall to her hips.
“I..I love you too, my love.”
His lip quirks, “Wow, you must be getting soft.”
She shakes her head, “Oh fuck off.” Then pulls him in once more before setting off.
Thus is the nth time the Commander of the Inquisition personally sends off the Inquisitor, and it crushes him the most out of all times,
He thought they were past this.
If he could be completely honest, he wishes they would disband the Inquisition already, that way his fiance, yes-he asked but not according to his plan at all-, could not have a single reason to grab up her most supported armor from it’s untouched-in-months chest set up in their room in the Winter Palace.
He stands at the door, he doesn’t feel the need to shy away from her undressing sight, why would he after seeing it so many times. Besides, she has no problem with it. She’s goes as far as to throw a smirk in his direction despite his grim expression.
Her movements are slow, almost creaky. She’s been getting worse over the latest months. The Mark is. Slowly draining her for all she’s worth, taking each part of her viciously yet sneakily.
Her growingly sunken eyes finally manage to grab his, pulling him out of his sullen state with a whistle.
Cullen blinks, “Are you alright?”
Her eyes roll, showing she’s fine by taking up a heavy object for her weapon tucked deep in the chest. “Jeez, I’m the one here supposed to have a longer life span, stop acting as if-”
“Bella, please. You know I hate the jokes about…that.”
She turns silent. Glaring at the chest below, “...Well, I’m about to go into the fry again anyway. Why not get my favorite jokes out the way, eh?”
“In case what? You die taking out the damned Qunari?” The words make it worse.
The squeeze in his chest no better than the moment Leliana procured information about the Qun in the first place. No better than the moment his and their Inquisitor’s eyes met as they both knew what was in store for her.
Or better yet, what they didn’t know what was in store for her.
Bellatrix has only had a number of instances with the Qun before the Inqusition, before becoming Inquisitor and leader of an entire fucking army.
1st was her Captain Cirdan when she first became a mercenary back in Ferelden, he was considered Tal-Vashoth himself-having left the Qun after meeting Shilkry, his second, and deciding his time was wasted there. The 2nd was when Fuliz came around, newly branded Tal-Vashoth and marked for death by his own people.
They engaged in battle with one of the rebellious heads of Fuliz’s old group that resulted in Cirdan’s death, but still stood as a victory against the Qun itself.
But this group, now? Invading their lands and bargaining for a new conspiracy plot at play?
The squeeze only gets tighter and tighter at every possibility at what could happen.
Bellatrix sighs, “Blondie-”
“Listen to me, my love, these people are unpredictable, unexpected in every move. The only reason we had an inkling at what was going on was because of Bull and his insight of the Quanri’s possible plan in the first place.”
“You think I don’t know that?” She snaps the chest shut, wrapping her belt around her waist and locking it securely. He watches, a hint of dread in his eyes as she grabs up her daggers and bombs.
“Look,” He meets her gaze, her face grim itself, “I know yer scared, Blondie, and I appreciate the concern, but I’m the leader of our people and I need to protect them if I can. The whole point of this Inquisition was to do so in the first place!”
His hand comes up to pinch his brow, other arm crossed over his chest, still in his uniform as Josephin requested. “I know, I know. But..”
He hears her steps coming near, boots clicking across the marble flooring of their room. “But what, vhenan?”
His glazing eyes, watery already, make her freeze.
“I just proposed to you..we haven’t even started that chapter yet..” His eyes lock with hers.
Her’s soften, guilt ridden. They both knew the moment they officially claimed each other as theirs that they would still have to share each other with the world. Him with his Commander position, hers with her Inquisitor. Yet…
It’s selfish but he wants to be selfish for once, before he can’t anymore.
She looks to the side, contemplating. All before meeting his tense form again.
She swallows, “One more battle, one more chance of letting me go and I swear we’ll start that chapter as soon as I’m back.”
“...There’s a chance you won’t come back.” His voice is void, empty save for the strict tone.
“..Estel just informed me before all of this that she’s pregnant with Bull’s kid.” Her smirk is faint, but small bit of joy is clear. “I want to be an Aunt..” she pulls her palm to his cheek, rubbing his stubble, “And your wife..I will make that happen.”
Cullen stares into the woman’s gaze, slowly and carefully grasping back at her hand. His eyes close and he pecks a kiss into her gloved palm, right under the mark. Right under the spot he feels her engagement ring on.
And then, “Alright. By the Maker, you better make it happen.” He sends her off.
She smirks, leaning forward-watching her move on her toes has him holding in a chuckle- and pecking the tip of his nose before his lips. He catches her, pulling her in longer, hands gripping her waist as hers melt to his jaw.
“Oh I will, Blondie.”
Their friends leave one by one, Dorian sneaking a smirk at a matching Bellatrix before his lover, Fuliz, wraps an arm around his shoulder, leading him away whilst kissing his forehead. The two are most definitely going to make time well spent before the Tevinter must go back to his first home. It’s obvious how much he’s going to miss his second as his hand grips the qunari tightly by the hip.
Bull leads his away after Estel gives a hug to her sister, pecking her cheek sweetly before gripping onto her vhenan’s extended hand. Cullen and Bull share a nod, soon to be official brother-in-laws light in their heads.
Need for celebration is later, as Bellatrix leans on the railing, looking tired as hell but relieved just as much.
The now retired Commander grasps her shoulder, nuzzling into her cheek, “How are you feeling?”
His lover inhales then lets out a long breath, taking in the sight before them as her head leans on his shoulder. “Tired.”
“I know that feeling.” They share barked laughter.
It quiets down and they watch the setting sun.
She moves to clearly play with the hand on her shoulder, freezing a little when she realizes she can’t without her left hand. He doesn’t have any time to say anything before she switches, grasping with her other.
“That’s going to take some time to get used to..” She faux snickers.
“Dagna could make a prosthesis, you know.”
“Yeah..true. Good thing I know you’ll love me even if I was a dragon, otherwise I’d be worried for sure.”
He sighs as he remembers that conversation, laid in bed in his tower, the woman drawing circles on his bare chest before blurting that question to him in the midst of his afterglow daze. Great pillow talk indeed.
“Of course I would, after I make sure you wouldn’t kill me at a moment's notice.”
“Well…to be sure..” He feels her grin. “Would you love me if I was a cat?”
“I can love both dogs and cats so sure.”
“A nug?”
“As long as I can keep you away from Leliana, sure.”
“What about a sword?”
“You better not make the joke I know you’ll make.”
She’s giggling already in the middle of his sentence so he’s sure of the thoughts playing in her head. “What about an Orlesian?”
“Never go there, my love.”
“HA!”