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“Great! Just… really, really great!!!”
Hunter was being totally bitchy again. Something which seemed to be happening a lot lately too. The foul moods of the sergeant turning on with a single click of a switch without any forewarning.
“Now we’re trapped in this Force forsaken place without any way out of here!”
It really wasn’t Crosshair’s fault they were sealed in a vault without a visible means to escape. It was simply bad luck and poor intel of the layout of the place they were scouting out. But, guess it was Crosshair’s turn to be bearing the bulk of Hunter’s bad feelings being stuck with the man and all.
For now though all they could do was to wait for the others to figure out their rescue. As the entrance to the vault was sealed shut looking from the inside.
“Well, at least we have rations and water with us.”
Crosshair having ignored the behaviour of Hunter’s after the two had assessed their options only to be figuring out there really was no escape from the inside.
Something Crosshair had come to terms with trusting in his team to come and get them while Hunter had opted to make a whole lot of fuss about it. The man having once again become rattled about a bad situation they could do nothing about while bitching and moaning about it.
It was all getting old and really really fast too.
But Crosshair could hardly fault Hunter for this, guess anger? Or whatever it was his sergeant was feeling at any given moment. Mostly though, it was directed to Crosshair even if the rest of the family had certainly gotten their fair share of the wrath of Hunter’s.
It had been a while Crosshair had been back with the team, his, family. The whole ordeal of Tantiss far behind them now, life having settled to a peaceful existence. The team sometimes still running ops for Rex, like this one now.
True, they had ran into a slight snag, but nothing they could not handle. Of this one Crosshair was sure. It certainly wasn’t the first one or most likely the last one either.
But, even if they had formed a truce between them, the all having been forgiven kind of situation been agreed, Crosshair and Hunter had not talked about all of the things having happened between them after the chip bad activated all that time ago. Not really.
Words being difficult enough to produce after all the bad situations having happened. The right words even more so. Not that either of them had really tried to talk about the whats, whys and whatevers, simply chucking things off as settled after the truce.
Alas clearly, it was still something which had been nagging Hunter ever since Crosshair’s return. The not talking, clearing the air between them. The need to know still very much present in the scout. And guess even if Crosshair really did not want to talk about any of it… well, Hunter sure wanted to.
And yet, here they were, unable to have a decent conversation about being trapped, rather Hunter turning to his current MO of being a total shebs while Crosshair ignored his mood.
Hunter kept on pacing the room. Acting like a caged animal, agitated, growling even.
Crosshair was sitting on the floor. Having tried to make himself as comfortable as possible. But observing Hunter being, well Hunter, Crosshair too was getting antsy. This was not new per se, but it was certainly escalating.
Crosshair was contemplating on the situation, their situation, not just the being trapped but the overall grey cloud of a thing having taken a permanent position above them, the once benign rainclouds quickly turning into a full blown hurricane. Guess, one of them needed to be the bigger, or taller man and so…
“Hunter!” Crosshair called out, his eyes locked on Hunter.
Hunter stopped in his steps with a rather nasty glare aimed at Crosshair.
“Wot?!?”
Crosshair sighed, lowering his voice to a more calmer, gentler timbre.
“Hunt.. please, just… sit down.”
Hunter stood there for a seemingly long moment, his nostrils still flaring, his fist clenching. But Crosshair kept his gaze on Hunter. Never faltering away, trying to assure Hunter of something. Of what he wasn’t sure of but hoping his open eyes would somehow convince the scout.
Finally relenting, Hunter took a seat close to Crosshair but still keeping his distance.
It was their norm theses days. The not touching each other. Rather avoiding any and all bodily contact. They had not even hugged one and other! Well… the Tantiss shooting Hemlock which after Omega had hugged them both really did not count.
While on the past, the two of them would already have huddled together, reserving their energy, sharing warmth… among other things they loved to share with each other. The time spent together always having been precious for them both.
And yet here they were. Falling apart, despite them having found each other again.
Crosshair offered Hunter a ration bar and a canteen first of all. The scout accepting the offering without even a thanks, only a slight, surprised stare.
The silence here them having descended, neither uttering a word for a long moment. A start perhaps? Hunter wasn’t pacing any more. The growling subdued as well.
Crosshair was pretty sure what he needed to do though.
After all, they had time now. The others would come for them but of course they would. There had never been any doubt in Crosshair’s mind about that very fact. A surprise? Yes, it was as they had left him behind before. Right?
And yet, here Crosshair was, all trusting of their… his team again. Things, had changed for them all, bad things having happened with plenty of blame to be shared all around. But trusting in them all now was something Crosshair had decided to do. After all, they trusted him. Even if Hunter was still acting up. But that was different. At least it was in Crosshair’s mind. It was something between the two only which needed to be settled.
As it was, it would take some time for the others to find them and then hack the locks. Which Crosshair was sure both Tech and Echo were more than capable of doing.
And so, gathering his thoughts once again, Crosshair decided, albeit reluctantly, he should be the one to start. Open the lines of communication as it were. Hopefully, Hunter would still want to listen what Crosshair had to say.
“Hunter… I’m sorry.”
That got the scout’s attention. Crosshair usually never really admitting to being in the wrong. Well, not the past Crosshair from before. And certainly never using the S-word!
Hunter turned to Crosshair simply staring at the sniper for a long moment.
“Why exactly are you sorry?”
It was a snappy comeback, true, but despite the word having come from Crosshair, an apology without any content was well, meaningless.
“For…”
Yes Crosshair had expected a follow-up question. But trying to explain it all. As most of it was still pretty jumbled up in his own brain.. well I was difficult at best. But he was willing to give it a try. No matter how lame it might just have sounded.
“I never wanted any of it to happen.” Crosshair admitted. “I… could not control it. Any of it. It was like being inside of a living nightmare.” Crosshair had to pause, Hunter simply staring at him all wide eyed now. So, deciding to continue as there were no objections or questions forthcoming. “And then you left me and I felt so alone and angry and… ”
Crosshair had paused again not sure if he was making any sense at all. It was still all so confusing to him. As after Tantiss, perhaps a little before when Omega had pushed him to escape with her, it had felt like waking up from a very long dream. A bad one at that.
Hunter’s eyes were focused on Crosshair. The sergeant listening intently to what Crosshair was telling him. As it was, despite his somewhat uncaring and cold expression, Hunter felt it was precious… the fact that Crosshair was actually talking. Trying to explain himself, his innermost thoughts. Something new, but they both needed this to happen even if it was difficult.
Crosshair was still trying to find the right words to tell to the expectant Hunter. But there was no right or wrong way to share how he had felt. About having been used by the imperials. As that was the ultimate truth even if Crosshair had been the one to act on the orders, his natural instincts having been enhanced to the max.
And yet he had felt so, out of control most of the time while in service of the Empire. Only admitting to it now was giving perhaps the clarity Crosshair had needed. He knew he was to blame, but there were mitigating circumstances behind his actions.
“I thought is I was a good soldier I could forget my past. That I could forget all of you. Whom I had been and where I had belonged. But then, the chip malfunctioned after Bracca….”
Hunter having suspected as much, and yet Crosshair had chosen the Empire. Perhaps of his own accord?
“After Kamino, I felt numb. You left me again… and I…”
Hunter swallowed and could only nod. It had been his mistake on his part and he knew that too now. But it was in the past. Crosshair was back now. With them. With, Hunter.
“I’m sorry, Cross. I should have known better back then, about you. How you felt and about the chips control… all of it. But… things were chaining so fast…” It was a poor excuse, true.
“Well, I wasn’t exactly susceptive either.” A nervous chuckle followed.
“We both made mistakes.”
Hunter having realised it long ago only admitting to it now out loud, well, guess they really had needed to talk about it. Both of them needing to admit they had been wrong.
“You asked me… back on Barton-4 what made me change my mind… about the Empire.”
“I did.”
“Well, guess it started with Cody, something he said to me after a mission we went on together.” Crosshair paused and swallowed audibly, the whole mission had been a mistake. He knew that now. Cody had been right all along. “Well, I met someone there… A reg.”
“I figured as much.“ Hunter debated internally for a moment whether to share he had been spying on Crosshair. “The memorial of those helmets you built.”
“Yeah. Those.”
“Someone important?”
“You could say that.”
“So, you shot the imperial for them.”
“I did.”
It was a surprise for Hunter, truly a surprise.
Crosshair turning on the Empire for the regs or a reg… Well it was still news despite Crosshair’s visible change. Tolerating the other clones something certainly not the norm in the past given the few exceptions but of course.
But now?
“So, that’s it then? “ Hunter wasn’t really sure what he was asking.
“No, but it’s difficult… to put everything into words.”
Hunter could understand that. Easily. Words never having been either of their forte.
“Do you still feel anger towards me?”
Hunter was pretty sure all of Crosshair’s anger had been directed towards him and less so for the others during their encounters before his return to the fold.
“No, Hunter, I don’t.”
Crosshair paused yet again. The talking was draining at best, the exhaustion worse from thinking things through than running an obstacle course in full kit. And yet, he wanted to try to talk more. Perhaps, they could continue this later on now that they had started? It wasn’t as painful as Crosshair had originally thought, the sharing one’s innermost thoughts, was it?
“Can you forgive me?”
Crosshair found Hunters gaze again.
“Only if you can forgive me.”
Their eyes were on each other’s for a long moment. Simply staring at the other, their gazes wide and open for the other to read. Looking for all the answers there. Finding some as well.
“I forgive you. Cross.”
“And I forgive you, Hunt.”
It took a moment longer, their hands finding the others. Intertwining their fingers, holding on tightly as if afraid the other one would disappear if they let go. The bubble bursting, each finding themselves alone again.
But it did not. They were there, together, both of them.
“I’ve missed this, a lot.” Hunter motioned at their joined hands with a soft nod. The connection between them still there.
“I know. I have too.”
Another pause before either of them spoke again. This time it was much more comfortable than earlier. Hunter’s foul mood having passed as well.
“So, you think we can be like we were before?” Hunter dared to ask not really sure if Crosshair realty felt that way anymore. After all, there was the memory of the one reg in particular Hunter considered would hanging between them. A ghost of the past.
“I… had hoped we could.”
Crosshair had dared to hope too. But with everything having happened between them, he had doubted it would ever happen again. And yet, the connection was still very much present even now.
“Then, I think we should try.”
Hunter was only too happy to hear that Crosshair was willing to try as well.
They had been so close before, family, partners, lovers even. And now? Well, guess they had only been on a break after all, things really not beyond repair.
They leaned against each other, holding hands. This, was enough for now. The little talk having given them both hope for the future, together, where there had been none. Not really.
The sat there huddled to each other, basking in each other’s presence for a longest while.
Suddenly, there was a loud bang, a lot of smoke with rubble and debris falling from where the entrance to the vault used to be. A familiar face was peeking through the opening where the door had previously resided at.
“There you two are! Ready to leave?”
Wrecker with the rest of them standing there seeing Crosshair and Hunter huddled together all comfy and clearly not fighting. Always a good sign!
Crosshair and Hunter exchanged glances, smiles emerging soon enough.
“We are.”