Work Text:
The memory was washed with a cloudy white, but he remembered it all too well…
It was three years ago. Mackenzie, aged 4, was walking with his mum in a shopping mall. The bright white lights of the department store at the entrance buzzed a quiet tone as shoppers of all breeds were out and about. The young border collie was holding his mother’s hand as the two walked out of the store and into the rest of the mall.
The little Mackenzie did his best to keep up, but the poor kid’s legs grew weary. So, he gently tugged on his mother’s hand.
“M-mum… Can you pick me up?” he asked, opening his arms to her.
“Oh, sweetheart…” the larger brown border collie sympathized, before picking up her son and holding him.
They walked further down the length of the mall, with the young Mackenzie resting his head on his mother’s shoulders. That was until he saw something. As the two passed a line of stores, Mackenzie saw a small play area meant for children. Now, with a new burst of energy, he begged his mother to be let down.
“Mum! Can I go play? Please??” he tugged on her fur enthusiastically.
“Sure! In fact, I need to go into this store right here!” She pointed to the storefront next to the play area before setting him down. “You can play here and I’ll be back to get you!”
“Okay, mum!” As soon as the young Mackenzie said that, he darted off to the play area, and his mum walked into the store.
Mackenzie happily explored his surroundings. It looked to be a small playground, with a tube, a tower, and a winding plastic slide of many colors. With a smile on his face, the excited young border collie crawled through the tube and climbed up the tower.
He was now facing the slide. His excited smile shrunk off his face, and he felt an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. It seems as if he remembered something:
He’s afraid of heights.
As he stood atop the tower, he stared down the slide, but not going down it. Instead, he began to hyperventilate as he sat down and curled his knees up. This position was always his go-to whenever he needed to comfort himself.
He sat there for what felt like an eternity, slowly rocking back and forth as he struggled to grasp the reality that he was not going to fall from the tower. Finally, he stood up, dusted himself off, and approached the entrance of the slide. He took a deep breath… and lowered himself down the slide…
He careened through a colorful tunnel of pastel colors. With many twists and turns, Mackenzie felt like this went on forever. But finally, he saw a light, and he reached the end of the slide, catching his breath as he sat at the end of the slide. He looked around for his mum.
But, his mum wasn’t there.
“Mum?” the young collie called out. “Muuuum?”
He looked around again.
Oh no. His mum wasn’t there. Mackenzie’s eyebrows turned downward, and a tear began to form in his eye. The young collie began to cry at the foot of the slide. He wailed and put his head into his arms, with his tears soaking into his thick fur. As he cried, passersby and other shoppers at the mall looked at him with confusion, before continuing on their way–not even offering to help the sad kid.
After Mackenzie was all cried out, he exited the play area and began the search for his mother, all alone.
The small kid walked into the store in which his mum last went and… it was very overstimulating. All of the grown-up shoppers were so much bigger than him, and he felt like at any moment, he would be trampled. He worriedly swerved through the legs of the shoppers, searching desperately for a taller brown border collie.
He ran around like a madman in his search, with tears still streaming down his face. But no matter how long he looked, he couldn’t seem to find his mother. He did one last run-around, before coming to his conclusion:
His mum had abandoned him.
So, the small border collie exited the store and sat down along the wall of the mall, returning to his comfort curled-up state.
This was it. His mother was gone. Was he too much of a burden for his mother to bear? Was this all part of her plan? Was he a mistake child? Was he never meant to be born???
All of these thoughts raced throughout Mackenzie’s young mind, and he cried heavily outside the store. He huffed and cried and sobbed and just let everything out.
But…
“Hey, are you okay?” he heard a voice ask him.
Mackenzie looked up. He saw an older boy–around 7 years old. He was a brown American Foxhound who wore a red baseball cap.
“My name’s Captain! Are you lost?”
“M…m-my mum left me behind…” the young collie blubbered.
“Oh. I’m here with my mum, want to come with us and we can help look for her?”
Mackenzie said nothing, only silently nodding. He stood up and Captain led Mackenzie to an older Foxhound.
“Mum! I found a kid! He says his mum left him behind!” Captain exclaimed to his mother.
“Oh dear!” the older Foxhound sympathized. “Do you know your mum’s cell?”
“...N-no…” Mackenzie looked away, embarrassed.
“Well, what does she look like?” Captain’s mother continued.
“Sh-she’s a brown border collie… and… and… she’s really nice and… and I miss her…” the 4-year-old collie cried.
“Alright, sweetheart… let’s see if we can find her.” The older brown foxhound swept up the young Mackenzie in her arms and began the walk up and down the mall for her.
But, no one matching the description came into view. The three walked around the perimeter of the mall twice, yet they saw no brown border collies. Eventually, Captain spoke up.
“Mum, my legs hurt! Can we go home now?”
“Erm… uh…” the older Foxhound was at a crossroads. She couldn’t just leave this little kid alone. Yet, she also needed to care for her own son. Mackenzie saw her worry and climbed down from her arms.
“I can try and find her by myself… thank you though…” He hugged Captain’s mum’s legs.
“Alright… just… please, by God, be safe…” she wished, before walking away with Captain.
Now, Mackenzie was alone again. It’s been at least a couple hours since he and his mum walked in, and the sky looked darker through the skylight. And, he also noticed there were far less people than before. Then, like the voice of God shouting at him, he heard something through the intercom.
“Shoppers, the mall will be closing in five minutes. Five minutes.”
Mackenzie’s eyes widened. He suspected that his mother abandoned him, but now, he was fully believing it to be true. His eyes welled up with tears again, and he sat down on a bench in his comfort position and sobbed.
By now, no one was really around to see him or ask if he was alright. So, he continued to cry. And cry. And cry. And cry. And-
“Shoppers, the mall is now closing. Please exit the mall.”
Mackenzie had now reached peak sadness. Here he was. No mum, and now no home. He looked around him. He’d gotten a thought. A thought he’d never gotten before.
If I jump from the second floor, maybe I won’t be alone anymore…
Breathing a heavy sigh, the four-year-old border collie sat up from the bench, preparing himself. But, as soon as he began his walk, he heard something far away.
“MACKENZIE!!!!”
He turned around. There was his mother, the brown border collie, sprinting down the length of the mall. She ran as fast as she could. As she grew closer, Mackenzie’s tears flowed.
“Mum!” he cried sadly.
The older border collie swept up her son in her arms, and he cried on her shoulder.
“Oh my goodness, Mackenzie!! I’m so so sorry!! How could I have done that, oh my goodness! I’m sorry, Mackenzie! I’m so sorry!!”
But no matter how many times she apologized, the damage was done. Mackenzie’s been abandoned.
Now, and for the rest of his life, he would always have a fear of being left alone…