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Every part of Madison Carlyle’s body was assaulted by the pelting rain as she tore down the dark sidewalks of Roseville, the only thing causing her more physical pain being the severe aching of her feet slamming against the pavement. This was, without a doubt, the worst day of her life, and there wasn’t a hint of exaggeration or hyperbole in her description this time. Behind her, a suitcase on rollers bumped and clattered harshly over each line in the stone, protesting to the sprinting of the girl who claimed it as its owner. She wasn’t listening to the pleas of her belongings however, in fact, she wasn’t listening to anyone. The resistance it showed her only caused her feet to land harder against the ground and her teeth to clench tighter as she pushed through the boiling tears streaming down her face. The light of a bus stop in the distance was the only source of relief she could make out in the suffocating rainfall. The least she could do was reach the bus stop. The least she could do was get out of the rain.
Approximately twenty minutes prior, Madison was ejected from her household and into the very same pouring rain that she currently ran through. She had always considered herself a meticulous woman, and that skill had always come in handy in the moments she needed it most… until now. She had been extremely thorough in her set-ups, her escape plans and excuses, and most of all her lies. For her entire high school career she had left zero trace that she was anything less than a bitchy straight girl; to her parents anyway, and those were the only real people she needed to convince. Her parents had always been homophobic, though they obviously didn't phrase it that way. People like the Carlyle family enjoyed terms like ‘traditional household’ and ‘people of god’, instead of less pleasant words like homophobe or child abuser. It was surely her fault, she had slipped up and left her phone unlocked while she went to the bathroom. When she returned to see that her phone was gone, the brown of her cheeks drained to a sickly pale and her breath caught in her lungs. She knew what was coming next, and though she packed up as fast as she could, there was only so much of her parents' wrath that she could avoid.
She was homeless now, the scream of her mother ordering her to never come back if she valued her life was more than confirmation of that fact. She tried her best to simply shut her brain down, to think nothing and feel nothing as she collapsed onto the cold metal bench of the bus stop, avoiding the multiple metal segmentations the state put in to keep people like her from sleeping there. She let her shaking hands rest against those metal rails, still burning from her fingernails digging into her palms when she clenched her fist around the small amount of personal belongings she was able to take in time. As far as she could tell and as far as she had fallen in such a short amount of time, this bus stop had become the only place in the universe. Slowly, still nearly blinded by her tears and hands weak, she felt through her soaking clothes in search of her phone.
But it wasn’t there. Her sorrow was immediately replaced with bone-rattling panic. She searched harder, over and over again through her clothes. She prayed it was in her bag, or even destroyed by the rain, anything would be better than the reality of what she was experiencing. Through the fog of her mind, the memory returned to her of her father clutching the thing in his shaking grip, his veins bubbling with holy rage. Though she was already out of breath she began to hyperventilate, her violently shaking hands balling into sharp fists again. Why had they done that to her? It wasn’t her fault. Why had God done this to her? Why had she been so stupid? How could she? It wasn’t her fault. It was all her fault.
She needed to kill something. She needed to climb the stairs to heaven and strangle every angel for condemning her and cast them into the boiling pits of Tartarus where they belonged. Scratch that, she couldn't wait for death. Her aching muscles and limbs were moving on their own, raking their claws through her soaking hair and ripping out strands. Everything was simultaneously too dark and too bright, an inescapable nightmare of isolation and nothingness.
Without thinking Madison Carlyle rose to her feet and put all of her might into her swing.
Jess was on her way home from work. Well, in reality, it was more of an internship, however, she was getting paid, so as far as she could tell work was work. She had been essentially living in Rachel’s dorm for a collection of months, even though she wasn't supposed to. Her parents didn't particularly care where she went, and she was more than happy with that because it made going to gay bars a whole lot easier. She had gotten comments and questions from the other dormmates, of Rachel and Matt’s place of course in which she technically does not live, if she was Matt’s girlfriend; she had never heard anything more hilarious in her entire life.
However today Jessica had taken a detour, and not one for pleasure. She steadied her breath as her feeble windshield wipers did their absolute best against the onslaught they were up against. She always tried to be the calm one, if not a little passive-aggressive, however, the anxiety prickling beneath her skin still led her to grip the steering wheel a little tighter than was necessary. Madison had been so talkative earlier that day, she basically always was, it was one of the many reasons Jessica loved her so much. Madison always had something to say about everything, she always had an opinion, and Jess could listen to her talk forever. However, around the time she was coming off work Madison stopped responding, and she hadn't responded to a text since. For some reason that out-of-character response from her brown-haired lover was enough to bring Jessica in the opposite direction of the one she would normally drive. The rational side of her brain poked her, saying she was insane for freaking out so much over what was likely just Madison being busy. However, for some reason, she couldn't accept that thought, even though it was the rational one. Besides, there wouldn't be any harm in her simply popping up at Maddie’s house and asking to speak to her right? It wasn’t like the concept of hanging out with a ‘gal pal’ was anything out of the ordinary, after all, Rachel used to show up at her house unprompted all the time! So she let her shoulders relax as she pulled into Madison’s neighborhood and lowered the speed of her vehicle to match the suburbs. The likely outcome was that she would show up at Madison’s house, it would turn out that she was merely being overdramatic, and she would have the bonus of getting time alone with Maddie, which she would kill god for on any day of the week. Everything was fine and would be fine, and her anxieties were completely unfounded.
It was a nice thought, albeit completely incorrect. It was hard to tell the identity of the figure sitting at the bus stop, though even so, they were impossible to ignore when said bus stop was the only source of light besides herself and the occasional streetlight. Jess’ eyes drifted over to them, at first without thought, wandering as they often did, before snapping back for a double take. The glass making one of the pseudo walls around the bus stop was cracked, spiderwebbing out from one or perhaps several bloody impacts. The figure was slouched over, crying the types of wretched sobs that pulled your whole body into motion. She was soaked from head to toe, her dark brown hair nearly covering all of her face with a purple suitcase to the right of her.
Jess’ eyes widened in horror and she quickly swerved over a lane to grind to a halt in front of the bus stop. She was right all along, she should have been worried, and as she lept out of the car her mind raced with scenarios of what could have befell her lover. Why was she out here?? Who hurt her??
“M-Maddie…?” Jessica called through the rain, trying not to seem too panicked under the uncertainty of how dire the situation was. Madison hadn’t even registered Jess’ car pull up, however upon hearing her voice her ears couldn’t help but instantly perk up, and her head soon followed.
Jessica’s silhouette through the pouring rain was like the figure of an angel descending from heaven and offering Madison salvation. Though her heart welled with guilt for how pathetic she must look, she still couldn't stop herself from leaping to her feet and running into the rain.
“Jessica!!” She screamed, collapsing into her partner's arms and sinking her claws into the violet cat’s cotton shirt as quickly as she could. Jessica, of course, embraced her immediately, squeezing her tightly and running her hand over her soaking hair.
“Maddie what's wrong? What happened?” Though her questions were frantic she attempted to soften them in tone as much as she could. The brown cat only shrunk in her embrace, shaking violently as she buried her face into the other girl's chest.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Madison sobbed, her arms retracting a bit causing Jess to see her trembling hands as they weakly gripped at her soft red shirt which fell over one of her shoulders.
“Oh my god! What the hell happened to your hand!!” Madison’s right hand was coated in a mirage of scarlet, twinkling specks sprinkled across the flesh of her knuckles and fingers. That scarlet ran down her shaking wrists, dripping from her arms onto the pavement and disappearing with the rain. The brown-furred cat couldn't muster a response at first, her jaw quivering in misery before she collapsed into another bout of sobs.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault, I fucked everything up… I thought I was better than this… I thought I was good at sneaking and then I left my phone unlocked like a fucking idiot and my mom got it and-” Before Madison could further spiral Jess wrapped her arms around the other girl again, pulling her in once more and holding her tightly, even though her blood would surely stain her shirt.
“Shhh shh shh Maddie it’s okay.” Jessica comforted, petting the back of her head gently, “It's alright, it wasn’t your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.” Her eyes flicked up again to the cracks in the glass of the bus stop wall, stained with her girlfriend’s blood. “Except maybe damage public property… but like fuck the state anyway.”
“You must hate me…” Maddison whimpered as if she couldn't even fully process what Jess was saying, trapped in the black fog enshrouding her. “I fucked up everything, I’m fucking homeless now!! Who the hell wants to date a homeless girl..??” Jess’ eyes widened, and she quickly went to retrieve Madison’s suitcase, all the while holding her tightly.
“Like hell you’re homeless!” Jessica protested, getting her suitcase into her trunk at lightning speed. “We seriously need to get that patched up and disinfected, and for the record, you being homeless wouldn't change my love for you.” She dug around desperately in her back seat, eventually pulling out the travel first aid kit that Rachel had put in her car way back when ‘just in case’. Without hesitation she slid into the car, ushering her girlfriend to follow, and as if she was being offered into the gates of heaven, Maddison obeyed.
“Alright Maddie, let’s take deep breaths okay?” Jess gently took Madison’s bloody hand, beginning to disinfect the wound and clean it carefully. The rain was so much less loud and soul-consuming within the dark safety of Jessica’s car. The car itself gave Madison the same feeling that her girlfriend did; a calm warmth, a haven where even her thoughts, overthinking, and catastrophizing, couldn't hurt her. Her breaths, while still shaky, very slowly fell into rhythm with her lover’s, and her tears fell less rapidly. The alcohol stung as it was pressed against the open wound, of course, but even still it hurt so much less than how it felt in the rain. She gripped the rim of Jessica’s shirt, squeezing it tight when the pain would cause her muscles to twitch. Jessica didn't seem to mind this at all; her girlfriend holding onto her reminded her that she had something to hold onto, it brought her as much comfort as it did Madison. Jess took a roll of bandage from the first aid kit, pulling some out and beginning to wrap it around Maddie's injured hand. The pressure of the bandage against Madison's wounds further helped her steady her breath.
“What am I going to do…?” The brown girl whispered miserably when she finally had gathered enough breath to speak again. Jessica finished the wrap of her partner’s hand quickly and efficiently as if she had done it hundreds of times before. She held that hand gently, a dull distant ache traveling up Madison’s arm.
“We’re gonna take you home.” Jessica said eventually, and for a second Madison’s heart swelled with an unimaginable terror before her girlfriend’s lilac eyes flicked up to meet her, and she knew she was talking about something else.
“Wh-... huh?”
“I’ve been crashing at Rach’s place, she’ll be more than happy to have us.”
Madison shrunk back in shame, “I don't… want to bother her.”
Before Maddison could stay on that train of thought any longer Jessica gently slid her arms around the chocolate-colored cat’s neck, pulling her close and looking into her eyes. “Do you really think Rachel is the type of person to not help out her friend who clearly needs it?” Maddie’s proximity to her girlfriend caused her face to flush, slowing the speed of her darker thoughts and causing her to stutter.
“W-well of course she w-would.. B-but…-”
“You deserve to be helped and given help when you need it, end of story.” Jessica softly cut her off, her voice stern yet comforting. Madison’s eyes shied away from Jessica’s undefeatable violet gaze, she knew Jess was right, of course she was, but for some reason the brown-eyed girl couldn't accept that in herself. Either way, there was a warmth that Jess’ insistence on her being worthwhile brought her, so she didn't protest, sinking into her partner’s chest and letting her eyes flutter shut. The two women sat there for a while, allowing the silence to envelop them as Jess rested her chin on top of her partner’s head. Their actions hung over their soaking clothes, the aching in Madison’s hand replaying her loss and rescue over and over within her skull. The scarce light of the moon cascaded through the windows, highlighting her bandages in a deep flickering blue. Jess placed a gentle kiss on her partner’s head, finally separating them and going to climb into the driver’s seat, gesturing for Maddy to follow suit, which she did. “Alright.” Jess took a deep breath, “Let’s go.”
The drive was mostly silent, Madison casting her eyes out the window as the lights of her street passed her by. She wasn’t sure if she would ever see those streetlights again, and part of her never hoped to. She hoped that sidewalk and bus station would collapse into the infinite black abyss in the holes of her memory, fading from existence as it faded from her mind. The airy indie rock Jess flicked on wafted through her ears, carrying her to another place, somewhere far away where none of this mattered. A place beyond the clouds where it wasn’t that big of a deal who you were kissing and souls frolicked faceless and formless. Madison let the actual length of the car ride slip through her fingers. In reality, she was drained in every way a person could be; and when the car finally slowed to a halt and she stepped into the world again, only a drizzle landing on her fur, she leaned on her taller girlfriend for support as they stepped into Rachel’s dorm building. A pang of guilt shot through her as she sunk her weight into the other girl, but without an ounce of bother, Jessica wrapped her arm around her and held her up.
The tall lilac girl walked with a confident stride, bringing her girlfriend through the building just quickly and with enough purpose that they were never questioned. Eventually, they stood before a sturdy oak door, the number twenty-seven engraved on a plaque nailed to the drywall beside the doorframe. Jess gave it three firm knocks and after a collection of moments, a short fluffy dog girl swiftly opened the door.
“Jessieeee!!!~” Rachel cooed, swinging into the two’s view, alerted to exactly who it was by the way she knocked. However, the key of her voice and the expression on her face quickly changed to concern as she saw the full scene expand before her. The beagle flew over to the two other girls, immediately wrapping Madison in a tight hug before her worried eyes bounced over the rest of her wet brown fur. “Oh my God, what happened to your hand??” Before either of the girls could respond however she waved their breaths away, ushering them into her dorm, “What the hell am I doing, come in!”
Rachel’s shared dorm with Matt was a cozy one, decorated with various flags and sparkly memorabilia of various bands. The room was lit with a variety of LEDs casting the domicile in soft warm colors that glittered in Rachel’s eyes. The dorm was a far cry from Madison’s old place in essentially every conceivable way, and her brown eyes lingered on the gay flag hanging on the wall of the living room. It hung proudly, ironed with care, and nailed in with diligence; as if it was meant to be there, as if it deserved to be there, as if there was nothing wrong with it in any way. When Madison saw it in this context it made more sense to her than ever that it was true.
Jessica quickly piloted her shorter chocolate-furred lover to the couch in the living room, sitting the both of them down on it. She could feel the lilac girl’s shoulders relax as she let herself sink into the couch, her chest fell, signifying her escape from the previous stressful situation. Maddie, as if taking a cue from her sunk into her girlfriend as well, Rachel providing her other side with equal warmth by sitting on the couch next to her. The dog girl handed both of them a towel, Jessica’s eyes widening slightly as she took it and then rapidly stood up.
“Oh shit, you’re right my bad.” She proclaimed drying herself quickly and fervently, though before Madison could do the same Rachel quieted her movement with a soft hand on the shoulder and a light giggle.
“It’s alright girliepop it’s not that serious, the couch will dry all the same anyways.” She then fully turned her attention to Madison, who had taken her glasses off to scruffily dry her hair. “So what’s wrong honey?”
Once Madison was done she wrapped the towel around her shoulders, still shivering from the cold as her face twisted in shame. She really didn't want to tell her, it made her feel weak, but her girlfriend’s knowing eyes looking down at her made her force the words from her throat. She knew Rachel would always help her, Rachel would probably help almost anyone if they needed it. “My… My parents kicked me out.” She eventually choked out, her voice lower than a whisper.
Rachel's face instantly softened even further, her eyes large watery fish bowls as she reached out to pull Madison into an even tighter hug. “Oh you poor baby…” she whispered, eventually letting up slightly only so Jessica could take her place in tightly squeezing Madison. “They found out huh?”
The chocolate cat nodded miserably, “I left my phone on while I went to the bathroom and left it on the counter…” her jaw locked with raging self-hatred, “I left it there for everyone to see… like a fucking idiot.”
“You are not a fucking idiot!” Rachel quickly retorted, holding Madison's hand tightly and with purpose, “None of that was your fault!”
“See that's what I'm saying!” Jessica added, beginning to gently dry the rest of Madison while holding her tight.
“But- but- if I just fuckin, closed my phone or-... Just took it with me or… if I just-”
“Honey.” Rachel cut her off, gently turning Maddie's face to look into the beagle girl's eyes, “You shouldn't have to hide anything from anyone . You shouldn't have to hide your phone, and them being mad at you is purely their fault, not yours.” Madison wanted to argue, but with Jessica holding her so tightly and Rachel squeezing her hand with so much care, she found it impossible to formulate the words. Jessica continued to gently and thoroughly dry her girlfriend's fur, speaking in just a soft enough mutter that it felt like the rest of the world melted away.
“Rach is right. There's nothing wrong with you, you're wonderful in every way. We're gonna be here with you through all of this, and we're here because we want to be, because you're wonderful.” The brown-furred girl wasn't trying to argue back anymore, hot tears rolling down her face once again as she slowly sank into her girlfriend's form. Rachel took another sympathetic breath, sliding forward to give Madison another hug. She couldn't help but embrace the other girl back, weeping softly into the second shoulder tonight. The feeling of support was unavoidable now, with the warmth of the people who really loved her surrounding her on all sides.
“I'm so so sorry sweetie.” Rachel whispered through tears of her own, which only caused Madison to sob harder. She couldn't comprehend how she could be so loved, after being rejected so thoroughly by the people expected to care for her. But even through those thoughts she sunk into Jessica deeper, and clutched Rachel tighter, whatever she had done to deserve something this good, she was never going to let go.
“T-they took my phone…” Madison whimpered, “They kept it after they kicked me out.”
“We'll get it back tomorrow.” Rachel said with confidence nearly before Madison even finished speaking. It sent a shiver of anxiety down the brown girl's spine, yet Rachel spoke with so much confidence. “We'll go together, hell me and Jessie can just do it for you, you won't even need to see ‘em.”
“B-but-”
“No buts,” Rachel muttered, squeezing Madison and nuzzling her cheek against her. “We’ll get it.
“You don't mind if me and Maddie stay here for a little while?” Jessica asked softly, prompting a spike of fear through the girl with the chocolate hair, had she seriously not even asked Rachel to stay before? Why would she possibly accept now?
“‘Course!” Rachel responded without a second thought, surprising Madison, but not Jessica. “I let you stay all the time anyway but especially for something like this!”
“I uh.. I can help pay rent if it helps.” Maddie stuttered through her tears. Rachel cocked an eyebrow at first, but then gave the equally short girl a little smile.
“That helps! But you really don't need to.” She swiveled off the couch at that time, casting her eyes to the clock. “Alright well, it's getting really late, you two should get some sleep, you must be super tired.” As much as Madison wanted to refute that claim, she was completely exhausted. Jessica tossed the towel away, leaving it to be her future problem and holding her now dry girlfriend, letting her chin rest between the other girl's ears. For what felt like the first time since the moment she left her former home, a deep breath escaped Madison's lungs. She was safe now, free from former watching eyes; and while she was in unfamiliar territory, the way her lover held her made it clear, that she might just make it out of here alive.