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To My Beautiful Baby,
I love you so much, sweetie. I know the world isn’t what your father or I wanted for you and I’m sorry for that. Your daddy and your big brother Carl are going to be there for you. They’ll show you love and kindness, and help you grow up to be a good, strong person.
There were so many things I’d planned on showing you, on teaching you. I wish things hadn’t ended the way they did, not only for you, but for your brother. Carl should never have had to be in that situation. Please, baby, don’t blame him for anything. Carl’s a good boy, stronger than he knows. Together, I hope…no, I know the two of you will make it out of this world, this hell.
I’ll never get to watch you grow up. I’ll never see your first steps or hear your first words. I won’t get to be there to teach you right from wrong. I’m just happy to know that Carl will be there for you, that your daddy will be, too.
I will see you again, one day.
On that day, I’ll see the beautiful person you’ve become and I’ll know.
I’ll know just how right my decision was.
To My Strong Man Carl,
I know the last few months have been hardest on you. You’ve had to grow up in a world that wasn’t meant for children. You’ve missed out on the simple things that I wanted for you. I wish I could go back in time and somehow make things right for you, for everyone, but I can’t. I never wanted to leave you alone. I never wanted us to grow apart like we did.
Carl, I need you to be there for the baby. You’re going to have to grow up so quickly….I’m so sorry, baby. I also need you to be there for your dad. Things are going to get really hard for him and he’s going to need you not matter what he may say.
You keep your promise, please, Carl. Do what’s right. No matter how easy it may be to do the wrong thing, always do the right thing. Things will be harder than I can ever tell you, but I need you to do this. For me. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Finally, To My Husband Rick,
No matter what happened, I always loved you. I will always love you. I wish I could have seen your face one last time, to kiss you goodbye. I want you to know that I’ve always believed in you. I may not have shown it, but I did. You’re a good man, the best I have ever known. You’ve got to be strong now. You need to lead these people, our children on to safety. You have so many good people around you to help you, please don’t push them away. I will be waiting for you.
I’m getting tired now, my beautiful family. I think I’m just going to close my eyes and take a nice, long nap.
Goodnight Love.