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Adrien Agreste.
Everything about him was perfectly perfect. His hair, his eyes, his adorable shyness, his dedication to his studies, the kindness he extended to everyone without judgment of social status. Marinette could talk for hours about how amazing he was- a fact Alya knew firsthand. After years of being a fan and classmate (and stalker if she was honest with herself), she could finally form more coherent sentences around him.
However, her dear Adrien was still as unreachable as ever. It seemed impossible to act normal around him and the few interactions she managed to keep up were often interrupted by Chloe. As hard as Alya and Nino tried to set them up, there seemed to be a wall between them that Marinette had long since accepted.
He was even nicer to her than before, sure, and he seemed to actually consider her a friend now. It was vast improvement from their days in college. But still Marinette herself seemed to put up a strange barrier, separating what they could have with stuttering and a carefully planned list to help avoid making a fool of herself that often led her to avoiding Adrien.
Ever since she'd become friends with Nino, he'd done his best to create opportunities for the pair, supporting her at every turn with almost the same enthusiasm as Alya. Still Marinette could not manage to be normal around her long time crush.
Alya accused her of self-sabotage, but that was ridiculous.
Why would she ever purposely try to mess up her chances with Adrien?
* * *
Marinette waited on her balcony and played with some of her flowers as the sun set. Hearing a gentle thud beside her, she turned; smile playing at the edges of her mouth already as Chat Noir stood.
"Aw, Princess. You missed me." She laughed, lightly punching his arm, but his too-big grin didn't falter.
"Shut up, I did not."
"You were waiting for me." She rolled her eyes.
"I happen to like watching the sunset, okay? I wasn't waiting for you."
"You couldn't bear to be apart." He swung out his arms dramatically and she fought to control the giggle bubbling in her throat.
"Don't let it get to your head, kitty."
"You're so madly in love with me-"
"Hey hey hey. I thought you were my knight in shining armor? I already have a Prince Charming, hate to break it to you."
"But of course. How did it go with him today?" Marinette shrugged, as his meetings with her civilian form went on, she felt more and more uncomfortable talking to him about her crush on Adrien.
"Same as usual. How are things with your Lady?"
"She's as purrfect as always." She leaned into the railing, listening with a serene smile as Chat told her about their latest fight together.
"Sorry you're just stuck here with me then," she teased.
"Don't worry, Princess. I love you just as much; there's no need to be jealous."
"Alright, alright, enough flirting, Mr. Catsanova." Marinette loved the way his face lit up whenever she made one of his stupid puns. "Are you gonna come in, or not?"
A lot had happened since entering Lycee. One of the biggest being her partner's frequent visits to her civilian self. He still didn't seem to have any clue about her alter ego, but she liked being able to relax with him as Marinette. It was nice to fight and train together, but with Marinette there were no expectations. He flirted and occasionally gave her that heart-stopping (and confusing) look of adoration, but he was in love with Ladybug. With Marinette he just wanted to be friends and she liked being able to hang out with him without his crush between them.
Chat made his way to his usual spot in her computer chair and she remembered why she had been so excited to see him today in the first place.
"I have something for you."
"A present? Oh Princess, you do love me."
"You're ruining it."
"What is it?"
"Well, since I know you're such an anime geek."
"There is nothing wrong with anime."
"I got you a game."
"What game?" With a flourish of her mouse as she woke up the computer, Marinette revealed the menu screen for Hatoful Boyfriend.
"Can we play together? Right now." The excitement on his face was priceless.
"I finished all my homework earlier and I'm fully prepared to pull an all-nighter for this dumb game."
"Kazuaki," Marinette gasped for breath between laugher, "We actually got rejected by a pigeon. And a teacher!"
"He said he would be waiting for us, Princess. Our love story isn't over yet." Neither of them could contain themselves in the face of such a bizarre game. "We should unlock the Bad Boys Love scenario. That’s apparently when it gets really weird."
"Weirder than dating a pigeon?"
"Weirder than dating a pigeon." Chat confirmed, swiping away the tears in his eyes.
"This is incredible, I'm so glad I bought this for you."
"For me? Please, Princess. You were just using me as an excuse because you're too embarrassed to get it for yourself."
"Whatever, kitty." They finally managed to get their laughter under control, taking deep breaths to calm down. Marinette loved spending time with him like this. He was so easy to be around, years of fighting side by side with him left her with infinite trust in her partner. The way they read each other, even when she was out of the mask, felt so right and real. Even if they were just doing something as simple as playing a silly game. Just being around him made her happy. Marinette leaned closer to him; hand on his knee as she regained her composure before looking up at Chat again.
"Do you know how hard I'm trying not to kiss you right now?" It all happened at once. Her throat tightened, head ached, stomach dropped. He was looking at her like that again. Looking at her like she was a goddess. Like he loved her. And now he wanted to kiss her. She practically flew across the room, face filled with horror she was too shocked to conceal. No. No no no no no. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to love Marinette.
Chat seemed to realize his mistake almost immediately. Judging by the surprise on his face, he hadn't planned to say that out loud.
That just made it worse.
"Marinette I-" She bolted for the trap door and ran out the front door before he could finish. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to know; that would just make things more difficult. She'd been trying so, so hard to keeps things normal between them. Platonic. She couldn't date Chat Noir. There were too many risks, too many reasons to say no. If he had tried he could have probably caught up to her, she wasn't Ladybug right now and Tikki was still up in her room. But out of respect for her space or shock at her reaction he didn't pursue her.
By the time she finally stopped running her lungs burned terribly and tears had dampened her cheeks. She felt a little better, but nowhere near normal again.
She had to go home. School was tomorrow and it was already late. She'd been gone over an hour, surely he'd left by now right?
Sneaking up the stairs as quietly as possible, she gently lifted the trap door. If he was still here she'd just ask him to leave. Everything would be fine. She could deal with this.
Empty.
Marinette crawled further into her room and dragged herself to the chaise, too exhausted to bother climbing up to her bed.
"Marinette-" Tikki's worried voice called soothingly in her ear, but she just couldn't deal with this right now.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But-"
"Please, Tikki." With an anxious frown, the kwami snuggled up next to her in what she supposed was an attempt at comfort.
This was a disaster.
She'd been trying to ignore her feelings for her partner for so long, and now he'd gone and practically confessed to both sides of her.
Being in love sucked.
* * *
Adrien.
AdrienAdrienAdrienAdrienAdrienAdrienAdrienAdrien.
The blond hair she was seeing was his.
The green eyes she thought about were his.
If she stared at him long enough, she could fool herself into believing that. It had worked before. For almost a year now she'd managed to pretend he was the only one she loved.
Even after she stopped really loving him at all.
Adrien was a safer choice. He wasn't someone she had to rely on in battle to have her back constantly. He wasn't someone she'd have to reveal her identity to. If she dated him, it would be normal.
There were simply too many factors at play with dating Chat.
Dating Adrien would be simpler. So she was still in love with him. If her heart didn't sputter and flip flop at the sight of him anymore, well she'd make it. If she didn't get tongue-tied and stuttery around him anymore, then she'd pretend it was because they were getting closer.
Whatever she had to do to push down her feelings for Chat was fine.
Adrien was distracted all day. He'd always been so easy for her to read, even with how hard he tried to act fine all the time. When she tried to discretely point it out to Nino, the boy had suggested she try to seize the chance to comfort Adrien.
Alya had supported that idea with two hearty thumbs up.
They were terrible. But maybe it would be better if she spent more time with him. It was getting harder and harder to remember who she was supposed to be in love with. So at lunch, Alya and Nino oh so kindly pushed them together and ran for the hills.
"Um. Hi Adrien." She was in love with him. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest for him. She couldn't think straight around him. Please, for the love of god could she just be in love with him still, even a little.
"Hey Marinette. What's up?" He seemed sad, maybe tired and Marinette briefly wondered if Chat was feeling the same way before she shoved those thoughts away again.
"I was thinking maybe, if you're free that is, we could uh, eat lunch together?" The emotions that crossed his face in that moment were ones even she couldn't decode before he slipped back on his its-all-okay mask.
"Sure, that'd be really cool."
"Cool. I already told my mom we'd be going out to eat for lunch. Do you have to call anyone?" She should be filled with excitement. She should be stuttering again. Blushing. Anything.
"No, I can just tell my driver on our way out."
"Alright." They walked side by side in silence but it was off and nothing like the comfortable quiet when she was with Chat. She didn't know what to talk about and honestly she didn't really feel like talking.
The cafe was no better. Eating was awkward and he kept glancing up at her when he thought she wasn't looking. Maybe he was bored. He had hardly touched his food. Ah. Right. He was upset about something.
"You know you can talk to me if you have something on your mind, right?"
"I...Am I that obvious?" She shrugged and tried her best to shoot him an encouraging smile.
"I'm good at reading you-ah I mean people!" She felt her nerves start their mission to make a mess of her. Perfect. This is what she should be feeling. He gave her a sad smile and nodded, hesitating a moment before he finally spoke.
"I think I kind of screwed things up with this girl I like."
"Did she say something?"
"Well no."
"Then maybe it’s just a misunderstanding."
"I really don't think so."
"Why not?"
"She ran away after rejecting me like the very idea was the most disgusting thought she'd ever encountered."
"Oh."
"I didn't even mean to say anything. I knew she liked someone else. But she just looked so happy and she'd been even sweeter than usual and then she looked at me and I just spoke without thinking and now she hates me." That sounded uncomfortably like her night with Chat and she struggled to reign in her thoughts. Was this how he felt? How was she even going to explain it? Maybe she didn't have to. Maybe he wouldn't show up again. If he did would she be able to reject him? What if she didn't? What if she just agreed to date him? He wouldn't have to know she was Ladybug. It wouldn't necessarily complicate their dynamic.
Except she would know so it still could.
"Marinette?"
"Hm? Oh um. I uh. That sounds rough." Focus.
"What should I do? I didn't even confess in a cool way. What kind of person says 'Do you know how hard I'm trying not to kiss you right now'? It just sounds like I'm some hormonal teenager."
"You said what?" He froze. Shit. This couldn't be happening. If she'd had any doubts the anxious look on his face wiped all of them clean. Adrien was Chat. Of course he was. "I have to go." She threw down a handful of bills and stood.
"Wait- Marinette, please."
"Just... Just give me time to take this in. I can't..." With a sigh she was gone again.
* * *
After screaming into her pillow for the last hour, Marinette found she felt much better. Adrien was Chat. She'd fallen out of love with him then went and fell right back in love with him. Only she could get herself into such a mess. It was too late. There was no way this wasn't going to affect her in battle.
"Stupid cat!"
"I'm sorry." She jerked up at the sound of his voice, looking above her to find him nervously playing with the latch to the trap door of her balcony. "Please don't run again! I'll leave in a second. I just really wanted to apologize because I realize that was completely out of line, I knew you didn't feel that way about me and it wasn't fair of me to try and get close to you as Adrien when you didn't that's what I was doing, although it kind of all started because I was using Chat to get closer to you, but never mind. I'm just really sorry." He started the close the trap door again but she shot out her hand to hold it open.
"Wait. You can... come in, I guess." There was a flash of hope on his face that nearly killed her and she scooted back to the end of her bed to make room for him.
"First of all I don't hate you."
"You don't?"
"And second of all 'Prince Charming' was you-er Adrien." The sheer weight of the hope and love in his eyes was almost too much to bear. "But I haven't actually had a crush on you for a year now." All the hope in his face dropped instantly and she had to fight not to beg him to stop looking so devastated. "BecauseIkindasortastartedtofallinlovewithChatandIwascloserwithhimsohejustkindofstartedtobecomemoreimportanttome."
"What?" Marinette groaned and hid her face.
"I fell in love with you as Chat, okay?" She couldn't look at him.
"Then why did you run?"
"Because I can't date you."
"Why not?"
"It's complicated."
"Whatever your reason, I'll accept it, please just tell me." His voice was so heartbreaking and this wasn't fair at all.
"Fine. It’s not like our dynamic's not already going to be ruined by all this anyways. Tikki spots on!" She felt the transformation course through her before finally let herself face him again.
"Ladybug." Why had she thought this had been a good plan again? "Marinette is Ladybug." And now he was in shock and she had just destroyed any chance they had of being normal around each other again. This was all just going great.
"Now do you get it?" He gaped at her for several minutes before numbly shaking his head. "Ugh! We're Paris' lucky superhero duo. Knowing each other's real identities, being a couple and dealing with all the awkwardness and arguments involved- that’s all going to affect our ability to work together. It could put our families in danger! Wreck the entire foundation of trust our partnership is based on!"
"But... You showed me who you are. And you know who I am."
"I know." She hid her face again and Adrien watched in silence as she detransformed, a tiny red kwami hovering protectively.
"Marinette, it's going to be okay! Plenty of Ladybugs and Chat Noirs have dealt with it before."
"It just makes everything so much more complicated than it needs to be though." She let out a huff and met his eyes again.
"Why did you tell me then?"
"Do you think you're the only one who had to suppress the urge to kiss their partner? Your flirting is torture."
"You want to kiss me?"
"Of course that's what you take out of that."
"Does that mean... You'd let me?" He looked so uncertain; she wanted to scream at how adorable it was.
"I can't believe you ruined all my hard work."
"What-" Marinette pulled him to her in a short, jerky motion, crashing their mouths together in a way that was neither gentle nor romantic. Noses bumped uncomfortably and Chat- Adrien?- was too stunned to respond to the sudden change of course for the first few moments.
Feeling thoroughly embarrassed, Marinette pulled back finally, bright red and a look somewhere between angry and happy on her face.
"Does this mean we're dating?" Marinette groaned at his question, burying her face in his chest.
"Do I have to spell out everything for you?" He laughed, though it came out more like an unsteady breath, as he watched the tips of her ears pink.
"That would be nice."
"I love you and I want to go on dates with you and get married and have three kids and many hamsters!"
"Hamsters?"
"Stop teasing me, this is terrible, I never should I have told you!" Adrien panicked, pulling her off him to look at her face but was relieved to see a nervous smile on it. "I think it's your turn."
"Can I kiss you?"
"That's not what I meant, stupid cat!"
"Is that a no?" She covered her face with her hands again, whimpering or giggling, Adrien wasn't quite sure.
"Of course you can kiss me!" Gently, taking her hands away from her face, her beautiful and extreme red face, Adrien leaned in carefully, tilting his head to avoid more nose bumps and pressing against her lips chastely before slowly pulling apart again.
"Was that okay?"
"It was perfect."