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Chapter Text

The past few weeks had been hectic, both of them busy with work now there was a race like every weekend. Meeting up seemed impossible as Daniel was trying to obtain whatever points were available while Max was doing his own thing: getting whichever record that was still up for grabs.

It’s not like they didn’t see each other, they were literally working in the same place after all. But ever since the change of working for AlphaTauri instead of being a third driver for Red Bull, Daniel had seen his boyfriend less and less. They had tried to meet up shortly in Vegas, long before the press moments would take place. It’s just that wherever they went, it was all pre-planned, being shoved into team-arranged taxis whenever they were off-duty.

The only thing that remained were the very brief moments on the grid itself, in which they could barely say hi to each other before someone of their respective teams would come to them and start talking about yet another change of plans. A few texts and pictures sent to each other late at night was what had to suffice for the time being, although Daniel guessed he was lucky that the season was coming to an end soon.

The three-weekend streak happened, Vegas happened, and then Abu Dhabi came to an end too. There was so much to celebrate for Red Bull, the season more or less couldn’t have been better. Daniel knew that, knew that Max would celebrate with his team, all cameras focused on them. He was happy for him, ecstatic even considering the results, it’s just that he would’ve loved to be there too. His own team didn’t have much to celebrate, their result in Abu Dhabi not enough to overtake Williams, he himself only ending up with a meagre total of 6 points. Sure, he only took part in a couple of races in probably one of, it not the worst car on the grid, but still. He would’ve loved to celebrate too.

Max had told him that they would celebrate together when they were back in Monaco, just the two of them, away from everyone and everything. That was maybe easier said than done, the Dutch had way more interviews to give, congratulations to receive and events to be present at than he did. But then again, he could wait. He was happy for Max. His best ever season, even for the Dutch it would seem impossible to exceed this result next year.

Daniel flew back to Monaco rather soon after the end of the season, his work duties fulfilled, time to cool down before the eventual preparations for the new season would start. Max told him he’d be home soon too, the date ever changing as he had to stay somewhere else for yet another night, but after more than a week of Daniel being home alone in Monaco the Dutch told him he would be on the next flight to Nice, this time for real.

And then it was early December. It would be the first time in almost two months that they’d both be in Monaco again, finally some free time away from F1, the fans, the press. Max told him he’d probably be home around 3, and to meet him there. For the past year, Max’s house had slowly become more and more their house, Daniel spending time there whenever possible, sometimes going over when Max wasn’t even home. No people knew about them yet, only Max’s sister had caught on that Daniel was spending a little too much time at Max’s place. Being together for about a year and a half, it still felt too soon to upheave their lives by making their relationship public.

It was nearing three o’clock. Daniel just came back from getting his hair cut, sitting on the couch while fidgeting with the sleeves of a new sweater he bought a couple of days ago. He could smell his own perfume on his clothes, some fragrance he got from the airport in Abu Dhabi. Maybe the scent was a bit heavy but he couldn’t really do much about that now. He could take another shower, but then again, Max would probably be home any second. His phone said it was five minutes to three, making him decide to wait for the Dutch instead.

At 20 past three he did send the Dutch a message asking him whether he was on his way. Max wasn’t particularly great at texting so to not get anything as he landed wasn’t out of the ordinary. It’s just that, if it would take longer, he would actually take a shower. The message itself showed up as delivered, but no response followed. He’d probably be home soon, arriving in a cab any minute now.

It was close to six when Max finally entered the door, Daniel having checked either his phone or his watch every five minutes for the past three hours. He could hear the suitcase of Max being dragged along the hallway, his keys jingling in his hands. Once Daniel got up from the sofa in the living room, he saw the Dutch struggling with not one but two suitcases in the not-so wide hallway. He greeted his boyfriend, offered to help him drag his stuff into whichever place it should go.

Max mumbled something about putting them in the bedroom, before hugging him. No kiss, just a hug. It would do for now he thought. Looking at the state of the Dutch, he probably wanted to shower before properly settling down. He could wait for that.

‘‘New perfume?’’ he heard Max ask him when he took his arms back from their embrace.

‘‘Yeah’’

‘‘Kinda heavy’’ Max said while retrieving his phone from his pocket.

Right, he thought. ‘‘Sorry ‘bout that’’

He saw Max texting, smiling at the screen in front of him. This wasn’t really how Daniel envisioned their meet-up to go. He knew that Max would not jump into his arms once inside, he knew that he was not the kind of guy that was expressive like that. It’s just that, somehow, he expected more than this. He’d barely seen him for the past few weeks.

He asked Max what he was up to today, trying to tell him that it took quite a while for him to get home in a slightly jokingly manner. The Dutch pocketed his phone again, kneeling down to fidget with his seemingly new-ish sneakers.

‘‘Yeah, flight delayed, held up at the airport, it was total madness. Took forever to get out of there’’ Max replied, trying to take off his shoes.

‘‘You could’ve called me, I could’ve picked you up or something’’

‘‘In that madhouse? No chance. Should be happy that I didn’t get recognised too much’’

Daniel left it at that, told him that he was happy that he was home at least, that they should probably order some food soon if they wanted to get delivery.

‘‘Yeah, about that’’ Max started, standing up and taking off his jacket. ‘‘Some of my friends asked me to go for dinner, so I’ll meet up with them at seven. That’s fine, right?’’

Daniel didn’t get it, was waiting for the Dutch to tell him he was joking even though it wasn’t very funny. The look on Max’s face told him that he was serious, that it was more of a statement than a question.

‘‘What?’’

‘‘I’m going to see my friends in a bit. They asked me to go for dinner, to celebrate this season. Haven’t seen some of them in ages you know’’

‘‘I thought we were going to do that’’

‘‘Yeah but we can do that later, right? We can celebrate tomorrow or something’’

Daniel wasn’t sure what to say to that. It’s not that he couldn’t wait yet another day. It happened more often that they postponed plans because Max wasn’t available last minute. His friends probably hadn’t seen Max for a longer period of time, he understood that. And he still saw Max somewhat regularly at least, from a distance on the grid, basically every weekend for the past few weeks. He didn’t want to bring Max down either, nor that he would turn down his friends’ offer after he already accepted. Not that it didn’t sting, but he could get past that. What was one more day anyway.

‘‘Where will you be going then?’’ he replied, trying to sound casual and upbeat.

‘‘I have no idea. It’s a surprise, Lando didn’t want to tell me’’

‘‘Lando?’’

‘‘Yeah, him and a couple others will be there’’

‘‘Ok’’ he replied. ‘‘Then why don’t I come with you?’’

‘‘Why would you come? You don’t even know half of them’’

‘‘I know you, and Lando’’

‘‘Still. They invited me, not you.’’

‘‘You could at least ask’’ he said softly, but it was clear that Max wasn’t even listening, having walked into the bedroom, too busy rummaging around his closet. Truth to be told, there weren’t that many clean clothes left after being away for so long. He probably could’ve started on the pile of stuff that had been laying in the corner of the bathroom for way. too. long., but it’s not like he knew that it would take Max forever to get home.

The Dutch walked back into the hallway, dragging one of his suitcases into the bedroom and opening it in the hunt for something clean to wear.

‘‘This good?’’ he heard Max ask after taking something from the overfilled suitcase and putting it on in front of their bedroom mirror. Daniel didn’t recognise the dress shirt, thinking that Max maybe bought it while abroad. Or was it a gift? It was sometimes ridiculous what the Dutch would receive, cramming all sorts of free stuff in his suitcase after every race weekend. It looked nice though, he had to give him that.

‘‘Yeah, looks good on you. Real sleek’’

‘‘Thanks’’ Max said, not looking at him, busy trying to figure out whether he should tuck the shirt inside his pants or not.

‘‘Do you know when you’ll be back?’’ he asked Max, still unsure how to feel about the unfolding situation.

‘‘No idea. It’s only dinner I think. Not sure.’’

He slightly nodded at the answer, the Dutch looking around the closet in search for, well, whatever he was searching for really.

‘‘I think it’s too cold’’ he heard him say. ‘‘Maybe I should wear a sweater instead’’

He knew that there were probably only one or two clean sweaters left in the closet, apart from the pile of Red Bull branded ones. There were plenty of those laying around. He did get up to help the Dutch search for one, finding one on his side of the closet that Max could wear. The Dutch put it on, undecisive on whether this was a good choice.

‘‘Or do you think I should wear a suit?’’

‘‘Why would you wear a suit? I thought you were just going out with your friends’’

‘‘Yeah, but I don’t know where they’ll take me. What if it’s more, you know, upscale? I don’t want to look like an idiot’’

Daniel raised his brows, keeping in his sigh while getting slightly more annoyed. He had to leave this room, not understanding whether Max was trying to rile him up on purpose or whether the younger guy was that oblivious. It wasn’t even the fact that Max clearly didn’t care about the plans they had made, it was just like he didn’t even see him. They hadn’t seen each other for multiple weeks, and all the Dutch could care about were his fucking clothes.

Daniel sat on the sofa when the Dutch came walking into the living room, back to the dress shirt he had on earlier, with a somewhat simple jacket and pants. Not a suit, but not casual either.

‘‘When did they even ask you actually?’’ Daniel asked, looking up at Max.

‘‘They asked me if I was back already just as I got on the plane’’

‘‘So, they asked you this earlier today?’’

‘‘Yeah’’ Max replied, looking down while fidgeting with the lower buttons of his shirt.

‘‘And then you just said yes?’’

‘‘Yeah. It’s really nice of them I think’’

‘‘So it wasn’t planned before or anything?’’

‘‘No’’ Max replied, looking up at him. ‘‘Why?’’

‘‘You could’ve said no’’ Daniel responded, the words soft. Maybe he was too honest, he didn’t want to make a fuss if his boyfriend was leaving again in like half an hour. Max looked at him questioningly, asking him why he would do that.

‘‘Nevermind’’

‘‘No, go on, tell me’’

‘‘I just thought that we made plans already, you know. Just you and me, ordering food or… whatever. That’s what we talked about’’

‘‘Yeah? We can do that tomorrow. I’m free all day’’

Daniel looked down to the ground, biting his lip before muttering a small ‘ok’. He didn’t want to be a needy boyfriend, but Max made him feel like he was being just that.

‘‘What’s up’’ Max asked, moving more towards him.

‘‘I don’t know’’ Daniel said. ‘‘I didn’t expect this, like this, I mean’’

‘‘What? That I’m going out for dinner?’’

‘‘No’’

Max turned his face, furrowing his brows as if he couldn’t possibly understand what Daniel was trying to tell him.

‘‘Well you’re finally here now’’ Daniel tried. ‘‘But then you decide to go out instead’’

‘‘So?’’ his boyfriend replied. ‘‘I’m having dinner, I’m back home later, and we have all day tomorrow to do whatever you want’’

Daniel shook his head, trying to keep his words inside but he knew Max was waiting for a reply

‘‘I haven’t seen you for weeks’’ he tried again. ‘‘And now… we finally have some time, but then you’re out the door again’’

‘‘What do you mean?’’ the Dutch replied, chuckling at the words. ‘‘We see each other all the time’’

He did not want to be a clingy boyfriend, but he just didn’t understand why the Dutch was so… not understanding the situation. He knew that he would never be as expressive as him, he knew he would never need him as much as he needed Max.

Max probably didn’t love him as much as he loved him either.

‘‘Why are you making a big deal out of this?’’ he heard his boyfriend ask, making him realise that he really was that oblivious.

‘‘I’m not’’ Daniel tried. He really tried to keep everything in. He didn’t want to fight Max. Not ever, but especially not now.

‘‘You are. You’ve been moody ever since I got here’’

That was an, albeit figurative, punch in the face.

‘‘I’m just going out, I’m back later’’ Max continued, his tone soft. That tone started to annoy Daniel, as if Max couldn’t possibly know what he was trying to hint at.

‘‘Yeah, I know that’’ he replied. ‘‘Loud and clear.’’

‘‘What’s that supposed to mean?’’

‘‘Nothing’’ the Australian replied, trying to keep in his sigh but that didn’t work much. ‘‘Just, go out. Do whatever’’

‘‘Daniel’’ Max asked

‘‘No, it’s fine’’ he said, moving his eyes away from the Dutch. He didn’t want to be this obvious, but he couldn’t keep it in anymore.

‘‘Going out with friends is more important than me, I get it’’

‘‘I never said that’’

‘‘Well, it’s pretty obvious’’

‘‘Really?’’ Max said, tone of voice sarcastic, a short huff following

‘‘Well it’s true, isn’t it?’’

‘‘Stop exaggerating everything’’

‘‘I’m not!’’

‘‘You are! You’re taking this way out of proportion!’’

‘‘No Max, I’m not! I’m actually not! You’re being very dismissive right now and I don’t know why you don’t see that! You barely talk to me all day, and when you finally come home you tell me you’ll leave again soon because you’re meeting up with friends. You don’t care about our plans at all!’’ Daniel said, leaving Max somewhat speechless at the sudden waterfall of words.

‘‘What if we made plans and then I just went out to see other people, exact same situation, would you be ok with that?’’

‘‘Yes’’ Max replied.

‘‘100% ok?’’

‘‘Yes, I’m just going out with friends Daniel! Haven’t seen them in ages. We can see each other later. You need to calm the fuck down’’

‘‘Are you serious?’’

‘‘It’s not a big deal. I’m just going out, I’m back later tonight. Just… deal with it’’

‘‘Deal with it?’’

‘‘Yeah, you need to deal with that jealousy bubble inside your head and get over it’’

‘‘It’s not about being jealous Max’’

‘‘You’re clearly very jealous, Daniel. I’m gonna have dinner with a few friends’’

Daniels face turned to anger, a slightly red colour creeping over his face.

‘‘So what if I am jealous?!’’

Max groaned at his answer, his head shaking in response.

‘‘When the hell do you do this for me?’’ Daniel started. ‘‘You never dress up for me and things like that, you never worry about freaking seeing me, it’s just whatever. Wearing whatever old Red Bull sweater, you don’t care. And when we make plans, you just cancel them without telling me shit. You don’t even want me to come with you tonight!’’

Max’s eyes narrowed, giving him a look like he was out of it. ‘‘It’s. Just. Dinner’’

Daniel looked down, shaking his head, biting his lips while doing so.

‘‘Ok. If you say so’’ he replied to Max, looking up at him before walking out of the living room.

He grabbed some of his stuff from the bedroom, put his phone in his pocket and started tying his shoes when the Dutch entered the hallway. He saw Max coming towards him, stopping a few feet away. The silence was only broken by the sound of Daniel forcefully pulling his shoelaces tighter, tight enough that his feet felt the pressure.

‘‘Where are you going?’’ Max asked, voice soft once more.

‘‘Home’’

‘‘I told you I’m back in like a few hours, I..’’

‘‘I’m not gonna sit here, waiting for you.’’ Daniel cut into him. ‘‘I’ve done that for the past few weeks, and you don’t seem to care’’

‘‘Of course I care’’

‘‘You’ve got a funny way of showing it’’

Daniel turned away from him, reaching towards the coat rack to grab his jacket.

‘‘Daniel’’ Max tried, his hand reaching towards the Australian but he brushed him aside.

‘‘Fuck off Max. Go celebrate with your friends’’

The door was pulled shut loudly three seconds later, leaving a confused Dutch guy behind in the hallway.

Chapter Text

Meeting up with his friends had been fun. Emphasis on the had been. For the first 30 minutes or so. Then it started to dawn on him that whatever happened earlier today probably wouldn’t just fly past him. They had their fair share of fights, but Daniel never told him to fuck off. He wasn’t exactly sure how it had gotten to that stage, but he did know that things were different this time.

While he had been full of energy during the first half hour, his attention started to wane during the main course. He poked around the food with his fork, his friends asking whether everything was alright. He brushed it off by saying he wasn’t that hungry, that he was tired, that it had been a long day already. Somewhere deep down he was stoked to meet up with them, he hadn’t seen some of them in ages, but with every ten or so minutes passing it became more difficult to keep a smile on his face.

Max and his friends paid for their meals a little after nine, earlier than they normally would. Maybe he wasn’t the only one that was tired, some of them saying they had to work tomorrow. It was somewhat convenient that he didn’t have to put on a happy face for much longer, but it didn’t feel right when he left the restaurant. He said goodbye to most of his mates, told them they should meet up again soon before Lando told him he would walk with him for a bit.

He could hear the footsteps of the other guys disappear in the distance, while the Brit walking besides him kept silent. He wasn’t even sure why they were walking this route together, Lando’s place wasn’t even in the same direction.

‘‘So…. You gonna tell me what’s up?’’ his friend asked when they just passed a corner, the street in front of them somewhat dreary looking and devoid of other people.

‘‘What do you mean?’’ Max replied.

‘‘You might fool the others but something is going on for you to be like this while just getting back from probably the best end-of-season you’ll ever have’’

‘‘Be like what?’’

‘‘Like this. Not saying much. Putting on your reporters’ smile’’

‘‘I’m just tired Lando’’ he replied. ‘‘Been a long day’’

‘‘No, I know what you’re like when you’re tired. You’re not silent, you turn into a right diva’’

‘‘What?’’

‘‘You know. Like those guys in the Snickers commercial’’

Max shook his head slightly, not really responding to Lando’s words.

‘‘Ok, so, this is the part where I do start to worry, you know.’’

‘‘Why?’’ he said, his fingers brushing past the bridge of his nose.

‘‘Because you just go all silent on me. No remarks, nothing’’

Max sighed, his feet coming to a full stop, slightly turning away from the Brit that was now 2 meters in front of him.

‘‘What’s up?’’ Lando said, turning back to where the Dutch was standing’’

‘‘Nothing’’ Max replied, wanting to continue to walk further before Lando grabbed his jacket and pulled him back.

‘‘Come on. You’re never quiet like this. Not with me at least. So what’s going on?’’

Max tried to look away from the Brit, told him that he didn’t know. He knew his friend remained firm though, would wait for him to at least tell him something.

‘‘Just don’t want to go home I guess’’ Max said softly, the words almost mumbled.

‘‘And why’s that?’’

Max shrugged his shoulders, tried to keep his feelings inside. Lando was his best friend, but he didn’t want to talk about these things. He was supposed to be a happy, easy-going guy.

‘‘You want to go back to Abu Dhabi?’’ he heard Lando ask.

‘‘What? No. Why would I’’

‘‘Then what’s wrong with home?’’

‘‘I don’t know’’ Max mumbled, making the Brit chuckle lightly.

‘‘Something tells me that you do know’’ he said, looking at the Dutch. ‘‘You can tell me’’

Max swallowed lightly. He knew Lando was trying, but he didn’t know anything about this. Maybe that would actually make him a bad friend to Lando, considering how long he had been together with Daniel by now.  

‘‘I was supposed to meet up with someone else’’ he eventually told his friend. ‘‘But I fucked up’’

Lando looked at him slightly questioningly, told him ‘‘ok’’ at first before asking him who he was supposed to meet up with then.

‘‘Just… someone’’

‘‘Someone?’’

‘‘You… don’t know’’ Max said. He didn’t want to say ‘him’ at the end of that. Even if he was sure that Lando would be ok with that, he didn’t want to bring that stuff up now. Lando’s eyes narrowed, as if he could recognise something on his face. Maybe the Brit already knew. He never said anything though.

‘‘You seeing a new girl?’’ he heard him ask, making Max swallow again. He tried to look away, wasn’t sure how to respond to this before he heard Lando speak again.

‘‘Did you forget to meet up with her?’’ he said. ‘‘Yeah she must be pissed off if you did’’ he continued, slightly chuckling at the situation in his head.

‘‘Lando’’ Max tried, the Brit telling him he was sorry for laughing. It made the Dutch turn away from him, telling his friend that they should continue walking.

‘‘Is it that serious?’’ he heard Lando ask him, but he didn’t want to respond anymore. This conversation wasn’t heading in the right direction, and it was hard enough to fathom what had happened this whole evening in the first place.

‘‘So it is that serious then. Damn, Max’’ the Brit said, patting him on his back. ‘‘Why don’t you tell me these things. You know I won’t tell anyone. But I will tell you off when you pass on a date with her just to meet up with a few weirdos instead’’

He wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be encouraging or if this was only making him feel worse. Lando kept rambling on that he should talk more about these things, that he obviously didn’t mind to meet up with him later if he already made plans with his girl. His girl. Max wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

‘‘You should make it up to her tomorrow, you know’’ Lando stated.

‘‘Not sure how to do that’’ he said muffled, a sad smile barely showing on his face.

‘‘Tell her you fucked up. Blame it on me if you need to’’ Lando smiled at him, putting his arm around him. ‘‘Well maybe not’’ he continued. ‘‘I mean if you’re serious about her, I don’t want her to dislike me you know. We still have to get along later on’’

The Brit was chuckling, but Max couldn’t get a smile to appear on his face anymore.

‘‘Mate, what’s gotten into you?’’ Lando asked him, his face more concerned. Max mumbled something about him being unsure, telling him that he did see… ehm earlier. That they had a fall out. Something like that. He thought.

‘‘You think?’’ his friend asked him, his expression confused. ‘‘If it’s that bad, you should go to her now. Don’t wait till tomorrow’’

‘‘I don’t know what to say though’’ he replied in a small voice.

‘‘Tell her you’re sorry, obviously. You’re the one who knows what happened’’

Lando eventually told him in no uncertain terms that he should go apologise now, instead of waiting for a better moment that wouldn’t come anyway. He even asked him whether he should walk with him to her place. No Lando, you don’t have to he kept on saying. He knew his friend was only saying it to make sure he would actually go see… Daniel instead of going home. Maybe the Brit was right, even if he didn’t want to immediately admit that. He parted ways with Lando one block further, his friend ultimately out of sight, before he started walking in the direction of Daniel’s apartment.

He probably arrived at the apartment complex sooner than he actually wanted to. He knew he had to apologise, but wasn’t even sure what to say exactly. It had started to rain lightly, the drops small enough to get blown away by the wind. The key he’d once gotten from Daniel had let him into the building and led him towards the gallery of the fifth floor. He soon found himself in front of Daniel’s apartment, but he didn’t dare to open the door himself. It started to get colder in the open-air gallery, Max unsure what to do or say. He had stood there for maybe close to a minute before he actually pressed the buzzer next to the doorframe, waiting for footsteps to come closer.

Daniel opened the door, having seen through the hole who was in front of it. His facial expression was sad, his eyes a faint red.

‘‘I’m sorry’’ Max said, his voice weak. The Australian barely looked at him, didn’t reply to what he just said.

‘‘I really am’’. ‘‘I was being stupid earlier tonight’’

‘‘I don’t wanna talk right now, Max’’ he heard his boyfriend reply, his eyes still barely looking his way.

This was not the way things were supposed to go. He was here to apologise, not to be sent away to talk another time. He understood that his boyfriend was upset though, and asked him softly if he could please talk with him

‘‘I don’t want to see you right now’’ Daniel said, the door closing a little bit. Max didn’t want things to go like this, told him he was sorry again before the older guy told him he had heard him.

‘‘Can I just explain myself?’’ he said, almost pleading with the Australian. Daniel didn’t respond, looking away from Max, his eyes settling on the doorpost beneath him.

‘‘Can I come in please’’ Max tried once more. There was a short silence, maybe five seconds of him waiting for his boyfriend to say something but nothing came. Daniel did let the Dutch guy inside, walking a little bit into the hallway. Max wanted to take off his coat, until he understood that Daniel wasn’t actually welcoming him into his home. Outside it was cold, and there wasn’t a guarantee of having privacy even on a fifth-level gallery. That was probably the only reason the Australian let him inside, he figured. It would take a lot more talking to make this right again.

‘‘I don’t know why I said yes to them’’ Max heard himself start again. ‘‘I told them I would be back in Monaco soon, then they told me we could meet up to celebrate. I… It’s just… I heard myself say yes, and then I couldn’t back out, because what was I supposed to say?’’

Daniel remained quiet, waited for Max to continue his reasoning. The Dutch only looked up to him though, like he waited for him to say something.

‘‘That’s it?’’ Daniel started, slightly confused from what he just heard. ‘‘It’s not that difficult. You could’ve just told them that you already had something, that you forgot. You could’ve taken me with you, you could’ve explained it to me in a normal way, anything. Not this…’’

‘‘I know, I know’’ Max replied. ‘‘Lando said the same’’

‘‘Hmf, great’’ he sarcastically remarked, his head shaking in the meantime. The Dutch swallowed, his heart sinking. He knew his boyfriend was angry at him, but he didn’t know what to say. Daniel never talked to him like this, and whatever he came up with in his head, it just didn’t sound right anymore.

‘‘I’ve been feeling shit all evening Daniel’’ he tried. ‘‘I could barely eat anything’’

The older guy chuckled, annoyance creeping up. ‘‘How do you think that I’ve been feeling?’’

‘‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, ok? I didn’t mean to ignore you’’

The Australian had to bite his tongue to not fall out at him. Didn’t mean to ignore you? Was he having a laugh? He got angry at the words, his face getting slightly red.

‘‘Don’t look at me like that’’ Max said quietly, his voice unsteady.

‘‘Like what!?’’ Daniel asked roughly. ‘‘You ignore me all the time Max! You don’t give a damn’’. The Dutch kept silent, unsure what to reply to this. Of course he didn’t ignore him. Not wilfully at least.

‘‘And you know’’ he heard the Australian continue, ‘‘at work I accepted it. I accept that you walk past me without even looking at me. I accept that you ignore my texts, that you cut my calls short’’

‘‘But not here’’ he said, looking at Max. ‘‘Not in a place that I thought was going to be our home. I’m not gonna…’’

‘‘It is our home Dan’’ Max replied, the Australian cutting right into him again.

‘‘No! No, I don’t know what has gotten into you today, but… I, I tried to keep it in, telling myself that I could wait a little longer because what’s one day gonna change? But then… it’s like, you just walk all over me because you don’t care. And when I spoke up you just told me to deal with it, that I’m just jealous and that I need to calm the fuck down! How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel?’’

‘‘I’m sorry’’ was all Max could muster. Tears were welling up in the corners of his eyes, barely able to keep looking at the Australian that was only a few feet away.

‘‘I’m not gonna be treated like that. I’ve already accepted way too much, I put up with way too much. It’s always you first, it always has been, and it’ll always be that way. You’re the World Champion, I get it. But I don’t want it anymore. This relationship… it’s…’’ Daniel said, a slight pause ensuing.

‘‘I don’t wanna be in a relationship with someone that treats me like this’’

‘‘Don’t say that’’ Max tried. ‘‘I know I messed up, I didn’t think properly. I just… I don’t know what I was thinking, ok? I’m an idiot’’. He forcibly tried to keep his composure, but he wasn’t sure if it was working. Maybe Lando wasn’t right, he went here without knowing what to say and now everything only seemed to get worse.

Daniel looked to the ground, the words of the younger guy not really resonating inside his head. His feelings were all over the place, unsure how to interpret Max’s apologies. He waited for weeks to have him near, but right now he only felt miserable.

‘‘You don’t even know how much I missed you’’ he told the younger guy, looking up at him again.

‘‘Of course I know!’’

‘‘No, you don’t’’ he shot back, a short silence following.

‘‘I’m waiting for weeks to see you again, counting down the days, the hours, the minutes till you are home. I fall asleep, thinking about you. I wake up, thinking about you. And I know you’re not like that. I know that I’m not your first priority but… You just walked into the house like I wasn’t even there, you’re too busy with going out, seeing your friends’’ the Australian said, swallowing afterwards. ‘‘I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that makes me feel like I’m just some afterthought’’.

‘‘You’re not’’ Max said, repeating his words when Daniel looked down and shook his head.

‘‘You’re not an afterthought to me!’’ the Dutch continued. ‘‘You know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You know I love you, I don’t care about anything else as much as I care about you’’

‘‘You don’t act like it at all’’

‘‘I know’’ Max said. ‘‘I’m sorry for not showing you it’’.

Daniel huffed, a bleak expression appearing on his face.

‘‘I’ve heard those apologies before’’

‘‘Well it’s all I have Daniel. I can’t…’’ Max said, the words stopping. He had to swallow hard, understood that words alone wouldn’t cut it anymore. But he didn’t know what he needed to do to turn things around.

‘‘What do you want me to do?’’ he asked. ‘‘What do I need to do to make this right?’’

‘‘I don’t need you to do anything Max’’

‘‘No, tell me. I know I fucked up, blame me, hit me, do whatever but…’’

‘‘I’m not gonna hit you’’

‘‘Then tell me! I’m… I don’t know. I’m an idiot, I know that. I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry for making you feel like this. I promise you you’re not an afterthought. It’s not true, I’m…’’

‘‘Then why do I feel like that?’’

‘‘I…’’ Max started, the words failing to come out of his mouth. He stared to the floor underneath him, no longer looking at the Australian in front of him. A silence fell, the Dutch pressing his fingers between his thumbs. They talked about it before, and both of them had been hesitant. It was too early, especially for him, but if Daniel would want him to, he would do it.

‘‘Do you want me to make it public?’’ he said, voice small but still clear enough.

‘‘What?’’

‘‘I’ll do it if you want me to’’ Max continued, the words sounding wobbly.

‘‘Don’t be ridiculous’’ was what he got back from Daniel, the guy shaking his head once more.

‘‘I’m sorry for today, ok?’’ the younger said, a tear rolling down his cheek. ‘‘I’m sorry for the past few weeks. It’s like I’ve been living on autopilot and I know it’s not an excuse but I don’t know why I did what I did and now I don’t know how to make things right again.’’

Daniel bit his upper lip, looked at the guy in front of him but remained silent.

‘‘I love you more than anything in this world’’ the Dutch said, him trying to take Daniels’ hand but the Australian took a step back. ‘‘I don’t want to break up with you’’

Max tried to look into Daniel’s eyes, but the older guy stared at the floor, the walls, still keeping silent. That silence slowly started to kill him inside, the lack of response saying things he didn’t want to hear.

‘‘Say something’’ the Dutch eventually said.

‘‘I don’t know what to say Max’’ he got back dejectedly.

‘‘Tell me we’re not breaking up’’

When the Australian didn’t reply anymore, Max slid down the wall, sitting against it on the cold tiles of Daniel’s hallway. He shook his head, the whole day roaming around his mind, going through the steps where things could’ve gone differently. Decisions that wouldn’t have made him end up on a cold floor with his boyfriend no longer talking to him.

‘‘If you really insist on breaking up, can we at least talk about it?’’ Max tried, looking up at Daniel. The Australian was still looking down at the tiles beneath him, a response waiting for a few seconds.

‘‘What is there to talk about?’’ he eventually replied, looking down at the Dutch.

‘‘I don’t know!’’ Max said. ‘‘Anything. I’m sitting here in your hallway feeling fucking miserable, what am I supposed to say’’. The words sounded a little coarse, the Dutch losing control over his voice.

‘‘Can’t we just…’’ he continued, having to take a breather in between. ‘‘I don’t know, take a break or something?’’. ‘‘Like, can’t you think it over?’’

‘‘I think I’ve thought about it enough’’ Daniel told him after a few seconds, a dejected expression on his face. Max knew this wasn’t just about today. He understood that whatever happened this evening was just the last straw. And maybe he should’ve seen it coming, but he didn’t.

‘‘So you’re leaving me?’’ he mumbled, not sure if Daniel even heard him. Tears were flowing by this point, angry at himself that it had come to this. He came here to apologise, and instead Daniel was breaking up with him.

‘‘Yeah’’ he heard the Australian mumble back, his eyes just as red as his own.

Max didn’t know what to respond to that. The words failed him and whatever he said didn’t seem to land the way he wanted it to go. Whatever happened today, the past few weeks, it was all fucked.

‘‘I think it’s better if you go’’ Daniel told him weakly after a short silence. The Dutch got up, nodded at the words, understood that staying here was not what his boyfriend wanted. Well. He probably couldn’t call him that anymore. He wanted to hug Daniel but decided against it, instead told him he was sorry for everything. Max walked back to the door, his feet heavy and unsure how he would get home without anyone seeing him cry.

Before he closed the door for a last time, he looked at the Australian although it felt like his heart couldn’t take it anymore. He had to try, even if Daniel told him he already thought about it enough.

‘‘Can you think about it?’’ he asked one final time. ‘‘Please?’’

Chapter Text

The following day was the hardest. His thoughts had been in overdrive the past evening, everything flashing past him like a movie that didn’t seem to want to stop, no matter how tired he was, no matter the amount of tears he shed. The day had been too long, too many places, too many people, too many emotions in under 24 hours. He might’ve been used to rushed days, where everything turned out differently than he had anticipated, but this was something else.

He wanted to go home, even if he was home. How do you even fall asleep when those thoughts keep running through your head?

He did fall asleep at some point, the tiredness catching up on him eventually, but to him it had only made things worse. As soon as he woke up, the same emotions from last night came rushing back twice as fast, realising that it wasn’t some fucked up dream, realising that Daniel wasn’t next to him where he should be.

He couldn’t text him, he couldn’t call him. He was home but didn’t feel home and he couldn’t even fucking talk to Daniel. The Australian didn’t even say yes when he asked him to at least think about it. The thought of him already having made his mind up, realising that he didn’t even want to be with him anymore made him sink further in his pessimistic thoughts.

Every time his phone buzzed, he wished that it was Daniel that texted him. Telling him that they should talk, telling him he would come round to his place, showing him whatever random meme he didn’t understand the humour of, anything. But it wasn’t. His sister texted him, some text from the team that didn’t seem important to him. Lando texted him, just like some other friends that knew that he was free now. The Brit was the only one to ask him how he was doing though, asking him if he ‘solved’ his problem. No Lando, I did not.

He didn’t want to text the Australian either. Well, maybe he did actually want to. It was the only thing he wanted, but he tried to give him space. Daniel was the one that told him to leave, so he did. Maybe Daniel needed time to think about it.

However much time he gave Daniel though, it didn’t seem to work. Or at least, the Australian didn’t contact him. It was three days of agony so far, of staying inside, of overthinking everything 24/7. It drove him up the wall, thinking how he ruined something he never intended to break. He didn’t mean to hurt Daniel, even if he understood that he did do exactly that. They were very different, that was clear. Daniel was much more talkative. Straightforward in what he wanted. Not him, that was clear. He was much more forgiving as well, looking back at the past few weeks, months. How did he fuck this up so badly?

Maybe he should get therapy.

Therapy

It’s something Daniel had suggested before. First off-handedly. Most drivers had a psychologist they talked with. Daniel had one, he knew that. He brushed it off immediately, telling the Australian he didn’t need one. The Australian did bring it up again a few times, but it’s just... He didn’t need to talk about anything, he was literally a world champion so why the need for a psychologist? He was winning, he had a busy social life, he had a boyfriend. All is well, so no need for it.

And ok, maybe not everything had been going well. But he could cope. He had trophies to be proud of, friends seemed to care about him, and he had Daniel. He managed. It all worked out so far.

Until it didn’t

He knew he needed to talk with Daniel again. Maybe he didn’t deserve it at all, but he needed to, even if it was for getting closure. He needed Daniel to know that he never meant for things to go the way they did, and that he was genuinely sorry. A simple apology wouldn’t cut it, he knew that. He would have to seriously talk to him, tell him what was actually going on. Tell him why he behaved the way he did.

If he was serious about therapy, he should probably at least be able to tell Daniel what was going on.

He first wrote several text messages, before deleting them promptly and starting over multiple times. Some ‘introductory’ text just didn’t work, he needed to talk with Daniel. So that’s what he asked him. If they could please talk. Like, properly talk.

It took Daniel more than five hours to respond to his text. Five agonising hours, in which Max didn’t know if the Australian would ever reply to his text in the first place. That it showed read after like 1 hour or so, didn’t help at all either. Nor that he opened his messaging app like every 5 minutes, hoping to see Daniel typing a reply.

Ok

Just ok, that’s all he got back. He wasn’t sure what to feel, apart from his heart trying to find a way out of his chest. Then he saw that Daniel was online, was still typing a further reply.

Let’s meet up  tomorrow

Tomorrow, the text said. Including a double space. Daniel might’ve wanted to say something else. Maybe just a ‘let’s meet up’. Maybe ‘let’s meet up tonight’. Maybe next week. Maybe he first typed ‘let’s not meet up’. Although then the space would’ve been somewhere else. And he wouldn’t have said ‘ok’ at first. Max didn’t know, and it killed him that he didn’t. At least he actually wanted to meet up. Right?

He really needed therapy, that was certain.

As Max was too nervous to write any coherent reply at that stage, it was Daniel that suggested a time a mere fifteen minutes later. You can come to mine the text had said. His place Max thought. He was scared he would never be welcome there ever again.

He basically didn’t sleep that night, his mind tired of thinking about what to tell Daniel, but not wanting to shut off to actually catch some rest. Some hot shower did work a little, but he was tired. Like, really tired.

Picking out clothes took him forever. He knew what Daniel had said, and he was right. However much he didn’t want Daniel to be right about this, he knew he was. Maybe it was too late, but he would put effort in it today. Even if it wouldn’t help a damn thing, even if he was damn tired, he would put in the effort now.

Then he found himself in front of Daniel’s apartment door. He was nervous, he was seven minutes late and he was sweating like crazy even though it wasn’t warm outside at all. His head felt hazy, but he knew he had to do this. There was no point in evading it now.

‘‘Hi’’ he said, after Daniel opened the door a few seconds after he rang the bell.

‘‘Hi’’ the Australian replied, a very small smile showing. He wasn’t sure if it was a happy smile, or if the Australian was trying to make the situation seem lighter than it was. The older guy let him inside, not necessarily looking at him much. It felt awkward. Most of the times they were in Monaco together, Daniel would come to his place. Well, their place, considering all the stuff that the Australian had left there over time. Those things had made the past days only more difficult, everywhere he looked there was something that reminded him of Daniel. He’d have to talk about that too probably, he’d have to ask him whether and how he wanted his stuff back.

The hallway still looked the same as it did when he left it a few days ago. He himself didn’t go to Daniel’s place much, only once in a while. Back then he would’ve just entered the apartment, walk along the hallway and enter the main room, but now it seemed… difficult.

‘‘Are you gonna stand there or what?’’ Daniel said, somewhat jokingly when the Dutch didn’t continue walking with him into the living room.

Right Max thought. Last time it was clear to him that he wasn’t welcome. He didn’t get further than the first two meters of the hallway, so that’s where he stayed now too. He… didn’t like this. Not knowing what Daniel wanted. It used to be so easy.

He sat down on the sofa about fifteen seconds later, after hanging his jacket in the hallway and taking off his shoes. Daniel looked at him, raising his brows slightly. He knew that he should start talking, but somehow it seemed like the words didn’t want to leave his lips.

‘‘So?’’ the Australian seemed to try.

‘‘I’m’’ ‘‘I’m not here to…’’ Max started after a short silence. ‘‘I understand that you don’t want to be together anymore’’. The Australian looked at him, but didn’t say anything back. ‘‘I’m sorry for behaving the way that I do’’

‘‘Not just last week, but in general. I…’’ Max said, swallowing afterwards. ‘‘I’m sorry for basically forcing myself inside your apartment last time. And I’m sorry for not listening to you’’

Daniel was looking at him, the demeanour on his face not something he was used to. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like he wasn’t agreeing with what he said.

‘‘When I came home… Sorry for not seeming to care’’ he continued, followed by a deep breath. ‘‘I did care. Like…’’ ‘‘I care a lot about you, ok? I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were nothing’’

‘‘You didn’t show me that’’ the Australian rebuked almost immediately.

‘‘I know’’

Max tried to find the words, wasn’t sure how he wanted this conversation to go. He never talked about stuff like this, he would keep it to himself. He didn’t really dare to look Daniel in his eyes, but when he did he saw that the Australian wasn’t happy. Of course he wasn’t, but he wasn’t used to seeing him like this. He knew he needed to be honest with Daniel, it’s just… he didn’t like to go there.

‘‘The last few weeks…’’ he started, swallowing again. He fidgeted around with his fingers, still not wanting to look at the Australian. ‘‘I’m not completely sure what happened, ok? The only thing I know is that I really wanted to go home’’

Daniel looked at him questioningly, as if he wasn’t sure how to interpret the words of Max.

‘‘After we went to Mexico it’s…’’ ‘‘Well, I don’t know exactly what happened after that. I just… it was, no, everything was on autopilot from that moment onwards. I was there but…’’

‘‘But?’’ the Australian repeated after a short pause

‘‘I didn’t want to be there, ok? I didn’t want to go to Vegas and… whatever’’

Daniel narrowed his eyes, not fully understanding what the Dutch was telling him.

‘‘It was…’’ he said, pausing again afterwards. He didn’t want to say it was too much, because how would his job be too much? It didn’t make sense at all. He should only be happy to be in this position, for fuck’s sake.

‘‘I just wanted to be home, with you. Just… just one moment of not being on. Like…’’ Max tried to continue, but it felt like he couldn’t find the right words to describe what he felt. Maybe he didn’t fully understand it himself either. F1 was everything to him. It’s just that, maybe with the increase in the amount of races, with more pressure on him to win everything, more and more press duties and less and less downtime, it had started to become too much.

‘‘You know…’’ he tried to continue. ‘‘When Abu Dhabi was done, I was really happy. Like… for the first time in weeks I was actually happy because I could finally go home’’

Max tried to look at Daniel, the Australian looking at him but not saying anything back.

‘‘I really wanted to see you’’ he told him, before turning his face away again, his gaze on the table in front of him. ‘‘I promise you that that is what I wanted. And I’m sorry for not showing you that’’

‘‘Yeah’’ the Australian answered. The words sounded short, and not particularly friendly. ‘‘You could’ve told me that, you know’’.

‘‘I texted you’’ Max said, his breathing a little unsteady. ‘‘But then Horner came, and said there would be some new press thing whatever, and then that, some interviews. I don’t know, ok? I don’t even know what I said in those interviews, I… I just wanted to go home.’’

‘‘When I finally got to the airport, I didn’t even believe I would actually go home. They rescheduled my return flight three times, like…’’ he said, chuckling. It was because he was nervous, but also because of the stupidity of the situation. Why did they even book those flights anyway. His team should’ve known better about the end-of-season press stuff. They were literally the ones arranging those moments in the first place.

Daniel looked at him, not necessarily happy. He tried to rush the sentences, wanted him to understand. ‘‘But then, it was… it all seemed good, you know? They told me they would see me in Baku. For the ceremony, like, that prize giving stuff’’

‘‘Ok?’’ he asked, somewhat annoyed.

‘‘I was so happy to go home, like… just one more flight and’’. Max swallowed, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. ‘‘I really wanted to be with you. I wanted to be home. I know we made plans, and I was looking forward to that’’

‘‘But?’’

‘‘When Lando texted me, I… I said yes. Because..’’ he said, a slight hiccup ensuing. ‘‘I know I said I didn’t know why I said it. But… I just thought, if I can do this tonight, it’s done. I don’t have to go out again, I can stay home’’

Daniel tried to understand his reasoning, but… Max could’ve just told him that he would meet Lando and whomever else to get it done and over with. He would’ve understood. He would’ve even understood if he wanted to be alone, if that is what he wanted. Of course this season was mentally and physically demanding. He knew that. But instead of just saying that, he made him out to be a jealous idiot instead. The fuck?

Daniel was overthinking the things Max just told him, and maybe somewhat lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see that Max had started to silently cry in front of him.

‘‘I wanted nothing more than just be home’’ he heard Max say. ‘‘Properly home, with you, ok?’’

The Australian got up from the chair, stood in front of Max before he asked if he was ok.

‘‘No’’ Max replied, the sound almost squeaky. ‘‘I’m…’’ ‘‘I’m really really tired right now’’ he continued, his voice shaky.

‘‘Hey’’ he said, sighing while sitting down next to Max. ‘‘Why don’t you talk to me about these things?’’

Max didn’t dare to look at him. He didn’t want to feel like this. Nor did he want to share this.

‘‘I don’t want to bother you’’ the Dutch returned after a few seconds, his eyes evading Daniel completely.

‘‘Bother me…? Fucking hell Max!’’ he told him loudly. ‘‘You took it out on me! You made me out to be some overly-jealous boyfriend that needs to get over it. You treat me like shit, and now you’re telling me you were having some breakdown without telling me anything? Like…. what?’’

So now Daniel was angry at him. Great, he fucked up, once again.

‘‘I’m… I’m sorry, ok? I’m here to apologise but instead…. I don’t know. I should focus on you, I hurt you, and I didn’t mean to but I did. I want you to know…’’

‘‘Stop with the apologies!’’ Daniel cut into him. ‘‘What’s…’’ he said, breathing out loudly. ‘‘What’s going on?’’ ‘‘Why are you…’’

‘‘I don’t know’’ Max told him. ‘‘I didn’t sleep for like four days’’

‘‘What?’’ Daniel exclaimed, not sure how that was an answer to any of his questions.

‘‘I understand you don’t want to be with me anymore, ok? I just… I never meant for this to happen. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I really didn’t. I…’’ he said, trembling, the words coming out rapidly. ‘‘I took it out on you. I said things I…. You didn’t deserve that. You never deserve that, ok? You..’’

‘‘Max!’’ he shouted. ‘‘Hey!’’ ‘‘Max! Steady breaths, ok?’’

The Dutch hiccupped a couple of times, tears rolling down his cheek, awkwardness draped over him as he wanted to run away from this mess while simultaneously he wanted nothing more than just be hugged by Daniel.

The Australian inched more closely to the Dutch, reached out for the hand that was fidgeting with the other, before taking it into his own.

‘‘I really don’t know what’s going on inside that head of yours’’ he said, the words sounding soft, cautious.

‘‘I don’t know either’’ Max said, his hand slightly shaking under the touch of the Australian.

‘‘Something inside me tells me you do’’

‘‘Why didn’t you text me’’ he continued when Max didn’t speak up. ‘‘You know we can always talk. I know we don’t really meet up at work, but you can always text me something’’. Max only looked down at his lap, not answering the question Daniel asked him. ‘‘We were supposed to meet up in Vegas, but that didn’t happen. You went all quiet on me after that. We could’ve called, you know. You don’t have to keep everything inside all the fucking time.’’

‘‘Max’’ he said, his name sounding questioningly.

‘‘I just… I wanted to go home’’

‘‘Yeah, I know that now. Doesn’t mean we couldn’t have talked earlier. You don’t have to wait till you’re home to…’’ he said, swallowing hard. He didn’t want to be angry at the Dutch. ‘‘You can always talk to me. Whenever. You know that. You should know that’’

Max slowly shook his head.

‘‘What do you mean with no?

A silence ensued, leading to the Australian slightly squeezing the hand of the Dutch. He tried to find the eyes of the Dutch, tried to make him talk.

‘‘I don’t know how to do that’’ he heard Max say. ‘‘I don’t know how to be Max at work and Max at home at the same time.’’

Daniel had to slightly chuckle inside at that, Max talking about himself in third person, that’s a first. It was a positive thing that the Dutch was at least starting to talk to him. Voluntarily. Somewhat, at least

‘‘It’s not easy, I get that’’ he tried, breathing out slowly. ‘‘But I’d much rather have you talk with me, or at least try to talk with me at work, than have you take it out on me afterwards’’

Max could only nod. He knew he should try, it just wasn’t that easy to switch things around.

‘‘Because that was not ok’’ Daniel continued.

‘‘I know’’ he said, the voice sounding weak. One more tear rolled down his face. He knew his stubbornness to do things on his own had hurt Daniel. He should’ve talked with him, he knew that. It’s just… it’s one thing to realise it, but it’s completely different to actually do it.

‘‘I think I should go into therapy’’ Max said after a short silence

Daniel swallowed, didn’t think Max would ever utter those words before saying a full-on yes.

‘‘Yeah. That’s probably… a good idea’’ the Australian said, his words carefully chosen, trying to make them sound positive.

Max wasn’t sure if it felt like that. He didn’t know how or what to do, he had never done something like that. His hand was still enclosed by Daniel’s, and he wrapped his fingers more tightly around his.

‘‘Maybe we can go together’’ he asked, somewhat quietly

It took five, six seconds of silence for him to realise that it was probably a stupid question. Daniel didn’t say anything, so that was likely to be the answer in itself. He was the one that ruined things, so he couldn’t even blame him.

‘‘But it’s probably too late for that’’ he continued, taking his hand back, the tips of his finger digging into the hair on the side of his head. ‘‘Sorry for suggesting’’

He didn’t want to be inside Daniel's apartment anymore. He reached the limit of how much he could deal with for today, and embarrassing himself yet again was enough. He wanted to get up from the sofa, until he heard Daniel speak up.

‘‘We could try’’ Daniel told him. If Max was willing to go the therapy, and was asking him to come with him, maybe he should. If he was asking Max to try, maybe he should too.

It was then that Max could not stop crying. ‘‘Hey’’ Daniel said, sighing afterwards, his own eyes turning slightly more red. ‘‘Come here’’. Once he took the Dutch in his embrace, the sobbing only got worse. He rubbed his hand across his back, told him to breathe properly. It took a while for Max to calm down, for the tears to stop, for his words to become clearer than just some mumbling into Daniel’s sweater.

‘‘You know’’ he heard Max say. ‘‘I said it in the heat of the moment, but… I did mean it. I don’t know how, but… I do, or, did want to tell people, like’’

Daniel breathed in heavily, cutting off Max’s sentence. ‘‘Don’t… get ahead of yourself, ok?’’

‘‘Ok’’

‘‘I’m still angry at you’’ Daniel said, the words serious but without any heat.

‘‘I know’’ Max returned, swallowing, his face hiding deeper into the crook of Daniels’ neck. ‘‘I love you’’ he mumbled against the skin of the Australian.

‘‘Love you too’’