Work Text:
It was past midnight but I couldn’t get any sleep, the ‘incident' that happened earlier that day replaying in my mind. I’m sure in the eyes of the other members of the Light Music Club; Ritsu-senpai, Mio-senpai, Mugi-senpai, even Yui-senpai, there was no ‘incident’. But in the eyes of Nakano Azusa, me, it was troubling me enough that I couldn’t sleep.
I had made my way to the club room as usual and was greeted when I entered.
“Azu-nyan!!!” Yui-senpai greeted me intimately as she often does, but this time something snapped within me.
“I-I’m not like that, Y-Yui-senpai!” I said as I lightly pushed her away. She stared at me and said nothing, but was quickly distracted as Mugi-senpai brought out snacks.
After that it was like nothing had happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had said.
‘I’m not like that’, I said.
I’m not like what? I’m not into girls, was what I was trying to say. But why did I say that? What did I think Yui-senpai was trying to do? Yui-senpai had simply hugged me, that’s all. I was the weird one here.
The more I thought about it, the less confident in my initial statement I became. Was I really not into girls? I had never given it much thought before. What about Yui-senpai, could I perhaps be in love with her? It seemed like a ridiculous idea at first, but the fact the idea even came to me, it started to seem not too far fetched.
“Uhh, why am I like this…”
I didn’t get anywhere near enough sleep and spent much of the following day struggling to stay awake.
“Are you feeling okay, Azusa-chan?” Ui said to me, during break.
“I’m fine. I couldn’t get to sleep last night, that’s all.”
“Why couldn’t you get to sleep? Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
I couldn’t get to sleep because I was thinking about Yui-senpai, but Ui is Yui-senpai’s younger sister, so there is no way I could tell her that. I’d die of embarrassment. “I was just, uh, practising and lost track of time.”
“That sounds like something Onee-chan would do.”
Jun then joined in. “Azusa, Yui-senpai isn’t being a bad influence on you, by any chance?”
Yui-senpai was definitely having an influence on me, just maybe not in the way Jun was suggesting.
“No really, I’m fine.”
And with that, Ui and Jun continued talking to each other, and I fell back to sleep.
Before I knew it, the end of the day had arrived and I was in the clubroom with the other Light Music Club members. As usual, Yui-senpai was happily stuffing her face full of food.
“This cake is sooo goood, Mugi-chan!”
“Your welcome, Yui.”
But her bliss couldn’t last forever, as Ui made an unexpected visit to the clubroom.
“Onee-chan!” Ui said in a raised voice, unusual for her.
“Ui?”
“I told you this morning that we have a very important thing to attend to this afternoon. I know how much you love your after-school tea-time, but it’s just one day, okay.”
Hmm, what’s this about? Something family related perhaps? I’ll have to ask Ui later.
“Ui, I forgot. Seriously, I forgot. Ui!!” Yui-senpai protested as Ui dragged her away.
Ritsu-senpai then chimed in. “Oi, Mio, what’s up with those two?”
“How would I know?”
“Also, what’s up with Azusa as well?” Ritsu-senpai turned her attention to me. Now I could no longer just sit and watch.
“W-what do you mean?” I tried to feign ignorance, but something tells me this won’t be easy to get out of.
“You’ve been acting funny all day. Not once have you demanded we practise. What have you done with the real Azusa?”
Mio-senpai responded for me, “Ritsu! Don’t say stuff like that. Azusa, remember, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.”
“N-no, it’s fine, really.” I say in response to Mio-senpai.
Wait, what did I just say in response to Mio-senpai? Did I just force myself into confessing what’s on my mind? And how did Mio-senpai know something was troubling me? It’s like she could read my mind. What should I do? I really don’t want to say it, but if I don’t, who knows how long it might continue to torment me. Also, I might not get an opportunity like this again, with Yui-senpai absent. Sigh, how did it come to this…
Okay, let’s go!
“I, uhh, t-think I, might be in l-love with Y-Yui-senpai.”
“...”
“...”
“Congratulations.” Mugi-senpai congratulated me, whilst clapping.
“Hey, you're not joking, are you, Azusa?”
“Of course she’s not, you idiot.” Mio-senpai promptly gave Ritsu-senpai a big whack on the head. I ignored them.
“Mugi-senpai, what are you congratulating me about?”
“It was very brave of you to come out like that, especially around those two.”
Oh, there might be a misunderstanding here. Either that, or I’m just running away from the truth. And I have a feeling it’s probably the latter.
“Ah, uhm, actually, I’m still not really sure…”
“That’s still fine. I can try and help you figure things out, even if those two don’t.”
Mugi-senpai looked towards the floor where Ritsu-senpai and Mio-senpai were still brawling it out. Or atleast, I’m pretty sure they were brawling, you could very well interpret it as something more, intimate? What am I even thinking…
Ritsu-senpai took notice of what Mugi-senpai had said and responded as expected. “Huh, Mugi, you calling me useless?”
Again, Mio-senpai responded instead. “Yes, you are being useless.”
“Well, you’re also being useless, Mio.”
“True, so I’m going to stop fooling around with you and help Azusa.”
And with that, the lover’s spat ended.
In the end, all three of them are going to try and help me.
“First thing I want to ask, Azusa, is why did you always look so uncomfortable when Yui hugged you?” Mio-senpai jumped right into the difficult questions, not that there’s really any easy questions here.
“Hmm, I think I was just embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed huh… ah, the same kind of embarrassed as if Yui kissed you, perhaps?”
As if Yui-senpai kissed me…
“Eeek!” I instantly blushed. Scenes of Yui-senpai kissing me flooded my mind, a wave of embarrassment but also a wave of… excitement?
“I think that answers that.” Mio-senapi then handed the mic over to Mugi-senpai, not literally but that’s certainly what it felt like. Thus the interrogation began.
“Okay, Azusa, have alway considered yourself straight?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever thought about having a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Have you ever thought about having a girlfriend?”
“Not until last night.”
“What do you like about boys?”
“I, uhh… actually I’m not sure.”
“What do you like about girls, or rather, what do you like about Yui?”
“She’s… cute, I guess”
“Can you see yourself being with Yui-senpai in the future?”
“Hmm, I think I would be the one doing all the cooking.”
“Aha, going straight to the domestic setting I see.” And Ritsu-senpai going straight to the jokes.
With relief, it seems Mugi-senpai’s rapid-fire interrogation had come to an end.
“So, Mugi-senpai, what’s your conclusion?” I asked, although I already knew what it was.
“Hmm, My conclusion is… you should eat your cake.”
Ah. I was so focussed this entire time I hadn’t taken a single bite.
“My actual conclusion is simple: you like girls and have no interest in boys. And I don’t think you need me to tell you that at this point.”
She was right, I was running away from the truth, and not very good at it. “Yeah, I give up.”
And with that, a huge weight came off my shoulders. Ritsu-senpai then looked at me with a big smile on her face.
“So, when are you going to confess to Yui?”
Suddenly, all the weight came right back, heavier than ever.
I’d hoped I’d get to sleep easier than the night before, but it seems I was in for round 2. I was at record levels of Yui-senpai occupying my thoughts, simulating every possible confession scenario imaginable. It was a pointless endeavour, though. In the end, realising my identity had been fairly easy, so easy in fact it’s surprising it hadn’t happened sooner. But a confession, that’s completely different. I can’t control Yui-senpai’s reaction, will she say yes like it was the most obvious thing in the world, will she politely decline, will she hate me? Girls liking girls is uncommon, the odds aren’t in my favour, but Yui-senpai is an unusual girl, so maybe I have a chance? Anyhow, since I can’t control it, it’s silly to get so worked up about it, but I can’t stop myself from doing so, guess that means I can’t control myself either…
“Azusa-chan, you look even worse than yesterday, if you’re feeling ill, you should’ve taken the day off.” Ui said, concerned for my health. I had slept even less than the previous day, I must’ve looked like a zombie.
“I’m not ill, just not sleeping well.”
“You could say those are the same thing.”
I don’t think the school would accept that reasoning. Neither did Jun, who then tried to probe me, “That’s two days in a row. Hmm, could it perhaps be, boyfriend problems?”
“Absolutely not!” I shouted so loud the whole class looked at me. This was not a good situation, but my brain was too tired to function properly. “Sorry, I, uhh, meant, I have no interest in that.”
“You have no interest in having a boyfriend? Hmm, so you swing the other way, Azusa.” Jun was teasing me, blissfully unaware of the incoming consequences.
“Yes.” I said so confidently, drunk on sleep deprivation.
“...”
“...”
Awkwardness ensued. I tentatively looked around the classroom, but luckily it seems like no-one was listening to us.
Turning back to Ui and Jun, it didn’t look either of them was going to be saying anything anytime soon. “Uhm, you guys don’t think I’m weird, do you?”
Ui then started waving her hands frantically, “No, no, I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know what to say, but you’re not weird at all Azusa-chan, and I’m sure Jun-chan will say the same.”
“...Yes, what Ui said.” Jun agreed, although she couldn’t put it into her own words. “Okay, let me rephrase my question, could it perhaps be, girlfriend problems?”
Now we were right back where we started, could they just let me sleep in the classroom in peace? “No, that’s not it either. Well, not too far off, I suppose…”
“Is it maybe a crush, then? Perhaps one of your senpai in the Light Music Club?”
My face went red, giving the answer away without even having to say a word.
Jun continued, “Ooh, who could it be? Mio-senpai seems most obvious, but maybe you like someone more out there,” she then glanced at Ui, “like Yui-senpai.”
“That’s enough teasing, Jun-chan.” Ui came to my rescue. “Azusa-chan, whoever it is, if they give you trouble, I’ll be there to help.”
“T-thank you.”
If Yui-senpai caused trouble, Ui would absolutely be the first to scold her. Knowing that, I felt more at peace.
And I promptly fell asleep.
It was the end of the day once again and I had made my way to the club room, only to find Yui-senpai alone. Not just alone, but she was practising too. She always goofs off when the others are around, but it seems she really puts in the effort when it’s just her and her guitar. I felt bad for interrupting her.
“Azu-nyan!!!” she exclaimed as she greeted me with the usual hug.
Yet this time I felt no embarrassment or awkwardness and instead enjoyed it to its fullest.
“The others aren’t here yet?” I asked.
“Nope, they’re on cleaning duty, so it’s just us two for a while.”
Just us two.
Suddenly, I could hear the sound of my own heart beat.
It was like someone had engineered the perfect opportunity for me to confess. I wasn't going to let this opportunity go to waste.
“Yui-senpai, I… I uhh…”
And yet when I started to speak, the words struggled to come out. I could almost hear a timer ticking down, my chance getting ever slimmer.
“Azu-nyan? Do you want something? There’s plenty of tasty snacks I can get you.”
“Ah, n-no thank you.”
“Hmm, is there something else you want?”
“Yes, I want you!” I exclaimed.
Yui-senpai stared blankly at me like she didn’t even recognise me. To be fair, I was starting to not recognise myself either. With a line like that, I had practically confessed already, the weight lifted, all I had to do is say it properly.
“Yui-senpai, what I meant was,”
“...”
I took a deep breath, here goes.
“I love you!”
I looked down and closed my eyes, unable to look at her face, waiting to hear her response. But no response came. I opened my eyes and peeked up at her face only to find her face was gone. Fractions of a second later a loud thud resounded throughout the room.
She had fainted.
I suppose that means she understood what I meant, maybe understood it a little too well. I thought this to myself as I stared at Yui-senpai collapsed in a heap on the floor.
No, what was I doing thinking such nonsense when she needed help? Panic overcame me as I snapped to my senses and dashed out of the club room. I hurriedly ran down the stairs without even looking where I was going, without even thinking about where I was going.
And inevitably, I ran straight into someone.
“Eek, I’m so sorry!”
“Huh, Azusa-chan? Why are you in such a hurry?” Sawako-sensei asked me, with a look of confusion on her face.
“Ah, um, It’s Y-Yui-senpai, she, uh, f-fainted.” I stammered. I felt as if I was going to faint myself.
Sawako-sensei then grabbed my shoulders and asked, “Where? In the club room?”
“Yes”
“Okay, leave it to me!” she said confidently, giving me a thumbs up, before sprinting off to the club room.
I stood there in a daze, pondering whether to chase after her or go find real help.
In the end, I went back to the club room. Sawako-sensei may often be unserious, but she was still a teacher at the end of day, so I had to have at least a little bit of faith in her.
To my relief, Yui-senpai was already awake when I arrived. Not to my relief though, was the fact that Sawako-sensei was cradling Yui-senpai like a baby.
“H-hey, that’s my role!” Jealousy got the better of me. I snatched her away from Sawako-sensei and embraced her tightly.
“Azu-nyan…” Yui-senpai said as she looked at me in confusion, whilst Sawako-sensei looked at me with suspicion.
Just as things weren’t getting awkward enough, the door was thrown open as the other members arrived.
“And then just as I was almost done, I got smacked on the… Huh? Azusa, Yui, Sawa-chan?” Ritsu-senpai interrupted herself when she saw the three of us. She studied us and quickly came to the wrong conclusion, “Sawa-chan, what indecent things are you making those two do? I knew you were low but not that low.”
“Th-that’s not it!” I exclaimed. This was all my fault, so I had to take responsibility. By now my face was beet red, Yui’s too. She had probably had time to gather her thoughts now, but had no opportunity to voice them.
“It’s true. Yui-chan had fainted and Azusa-chan came to me for help, that’s all.” Sawako-sensei explained her side of the story.
Mio-senpai upon hearing this, put the pieces together, “Yui fainted? Azusa,” she looked towards me, still embracing Yui-senpai, “I might be wrong, but did you confess to Yui?”
“...yes.” I did not know I was capable of such a small voice, but luckily everyone heard. Including Sawako-sensei, who was completely lost on what was going on.
“So then, what’s your answer, Yui?” Mugi-senpai confidently declared, now putting the spotlight on Yui-senpai.
“...Haha, it’s kinda embarrassing with everyone looking at me.” Yui-senapi snapped back to her usual self, and I felt great relief that I hadn’t permanently broken her.
“Just look at me and pretend they’re not there, can you do that for me, Yui?” I dropped the honorific. By this point I had reached unimaginable levels of embarrassment, but my impatience at not knowing Yui’s answer overrode everything else, for better or for worse.
“Okay.” Yui agreed as she looked at me, “You kinda surprised me earlier, Azu-nyan.”
Yeah, I saw.
“I was worried you didn’t like me, but I guess I was being silly, haha. So when you confessed, it made me so happy, it made me love you even more, Azu-nyan!” Yui said as she embraced me back.
Love. She said love.
“So, does that mean, we can, uh, d-date, and k-ki…” My heart was beating unhealthy fast and I was losing the ability to function at all. Yui, on the other hand, seemed to be handling this just fine.
Upon hearing my pathetic attempt at speaking, she leaned in closer. Closer and closer until there was no longer any space between us, and our lips very much touching. Her sweat and soft lips had touched mine. Before I could process what was happening, we were separated again.
“Hehe, I have always wanted to do that.” Yui said with a slightly mischievous grin.
She had kissed me.
In front of everyone.
Oh dear, what a handful of a girlfriend I’ve ended up with.
With that kiss, all the tension that had built up inside of me had dissipated, and all that was left was a bucket full of embarrassment. I finally glanced around the room, to see everyone else was frozen still like a statue, not knowing what to do. Well, guess there’s only one thing I can do.
I confidently stood up and walked over to my guitar and picked it up. “Okay, that’s enough messing around, let’s do some practising.” I declared.
“Aww, but I haven’t had any cake yet.” Yui pouted. I guess some things never change.
“I'll treat you to some on the way home, okay, Yui.”
“Really? Thank you Azu-nyan! I love you!”
“Are we really gonna hafta to put up with those two lovebirds?” Ritsu-senpai grumbled.
“Is that a problem? If it means we can get more practice…” Mio-senpai answered, “Also, Mugi seems plenty happy with it.” Indeed, it seemed Mugi-senpai had very much enjoyed watching me and Yui. Geez, just get your own girlfriend already.
That night, I got the best sleep I had ever had, so good I slept through my alarm. When I finally got to school, I found that Ui already knew about what happened yesterday in the club room. Apparently, Yui in all her joy had enthusiastically told the whole story to Ui last night. Gosh, how cute.
“Haha, so it was Yui-senpai, hmm.” Jun remarked, “Say, what is it that you love about her?”
What do I love about Yui? Mugi-senpai asked me this before and still don’t really know how best to answer. All I know is that I love her, and I suppose at the end of day that’s all that really matters. Well, there is one thing I do know I love about her, “She’s cute.”
“Huh, it’s unlike you to say something like that, but I guess that’s a sign in itself that she's special to you.”
Ui agreed with me, “Yes, she’s very cute, so take good care of Onee-chan will you, Azusa.”
“Yes, I will.”
Break soon came, and when I left the classroom I was quickly greeted by a certain someone. They were sweating, seemingly having dashed all the way over here to meet me.
“You’re really the devoted type, huh, Yui.” I said.
“I just wanted to see you as soon as possible, Azu-nyan!”
“Well, Let’s get going, shall we?”
Hand in hand, we set off for the club room together.