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≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
100 days
Jungkook feels like his world is collapsing as his father speaks to his court. The King’s voice is booming in his ears, and he tries to keep his breathing steady as he looks over all the officials that pushed for this decision. He doesn’t dare look to his right, where the King’s guards are standing.
He’s in the castle’s grandiose ballroom, a space that has always made him feel much smaller than he is. He’s never liked the design, it’s a perverse show of wealth that’s always made him uncomfortable, even as a child. It’s too tall, too empty, and he’s not a fan of the balls and feasts that are held here. He recognizes his luck in being born as the youngest prince, but he has never wished to have been born a peasant more than he is now.
“And to bring in a new golden age to our kingdom, Prince Jungkook of the Balhaeseon Dynasty will be wed to Prince Minhyun of Goguryeo.” There’s applause as Jungkook stands to his feet, shaking as his father motions him forward. He bows at the court, turns and bows to his father for such a generous opportunity to do something for his kingdom and his people.
When he turns back to return to his throne, he catches a glimpse of his knight, his beloved. There’s no emotion on his face, there’s not a downturn to his lips or even a wrinkle at his brow. Jungkook knows better however, he knows just how deep his knight’s training runs in his psyche. As Jungkook rushes past him back to his throne their eyes meet, and no amount of mental fortitude was enough to keep the tears from welling up in Namjoon’s eyes.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
“Your highness, it’s time for you to retire.” Jungkook doesn’t startle as the voice calls out, frozen to his spot. He doesn’t react when he feels a hand at his waist, nor when he feels the press of lips against his temple. “You’ve been here for ages, my prince.”
“This is where we first met,” Jungkook replies. He feels Namjoon tense up behind him, knowing Jungkook’s melancholy mood won’t be saved by any words he has to offer. Instead, he opts to turn Jungkook in his arms so they face each other, holding Jungkook’s waist gently. It’s past midnight, Jungkook knows that now that he is betrothed he has to work hard to learn new customs and new politics from a neighboring kingdom, but he can’t be bothered to sleep. If he sleeps, that would mean everything he heard today was reality.
“My prince, we can discuss it in the morning. You need to rest,” Namjoon speaks gently, staring down at Jungkook with a blank expression. Jungkook knows he’s trying to save face, trying to avoid upsetting Jungkook further, but it causes nothing but annoyance in Jungkook.
“What good will discussion do? I’m to marry a man I’ve never met, let alone seen with my own eyes, and all you can do is discuss?” Jungkook knows he’s irrational, speaking from a place of hurt directed at his father. But his father isn’t standing in front of him now, it’s Namjoon. Namjoon, his knight, who’s mask begins to crack.
“Your highness-”
“Use my name. We are equals in this moment,” Jungkook pulls back, and Namjoon takes a step back as well. “We need to plan. We need to come up with an argument against the marriage.”
“Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon only uses his name in Jungkook’s private quarters, when the late nights offer them privacy against the King’s men. Jungkook can hear how uncomfortable Namjoon is addressing him improperly where prying ears could report the disrespect against the prince. “You know neither you nor I can go against the King’s word.”
“But if he were to understand my heart is already yours-”
“Your highness-” Jungkook bites his tongue. “Are you asking me to reveal our relationship to the King and his court?”
Jungkook doesn’t like being treated like a fool. He doesn’t like Namjoon’s tone, speaking as if the prince had asked Namjoon to overthrow his father. The longer he stayed in this ballroom, the more upset he became.
“Would you like me to let the King know of our rendezvous? Perhaps His Majesty would be delighted to know the royal knight designated to protect the young Prince has spent more nights in your Highness’ bedchamber than out on patrol?”
“That is enough!” Jungkook hisses through his teeth. He pushes past Namjoon, shoving the knight out of his way. Namjoon follows silently, a skill Jungkook always found fascinating, if not a little annoying. How a man of Namjoon’s stature was able to sneak around in a full suit of armor will never not be a wonder. “I am simply asking for your support but if you wish to be rid of me so easily, I suppose you will get your wish.”
“Jungkook-ah,” a warm hand wraps around Jungkook’s forearm, and if the Prince had been any stronger, both in physical and mental attributes, he would’ve pulled away. Instead, he allows Namjoon to turn him around again, forcing the two to lock eyes. The tears are back in Namjoon’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.”
“I know you don’t,” and Jungkook does.
“There’s nothing we can do,” Namjoon whispers.
“I know,” and Jungkook does.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
1000 Days
How many balls can be held within a year? Jungkook doesn’t even remember what the excuse was for this one. Was it to celebrate the end of the summer months? Perhaps to bring luck for the autumn harvests? It’s as if Jungkook’s father had a point to prove, but the young Prince isn’t interested in the social scene of the castle. He bows politely when ambassadors approach, he charms the ladies of the court, and he pretends to listen whenever his father tries to auction him off to another prince. At least the King has finally accepted Jungkook’s interests, as he had so called them. Jungkook’s elder brothers, including the Crown Prince, would be forced to carry on the dynasty. All Jungkook had to do was not embarrass the crown.
The King has once again trapped Jungkook in a discussion with one of his advisors, forcing the young prince into listening to politics he had no interest in. Jungkook is staring without focus, nodding whenever he thinks it’s acceptable, when he catches a glimpse of the new knights lined against the wall. They’re all young, as they usually are, and they all have their chests puffed out in pride. He tries to make out each face individually, but he’s standing too far to make out any features. Jungkook’s father notices and politely excuses both of them.
“I see you’ve noticed our new knights,” his father speaks quietly as he leads Jungkook towards the knights. “They’re the top knights of our current military. I requested them specifically for security inside the castle.”
Jungkook and his father walk down the line as each knight bows and states their name, and Jungkook nods in acknowledgement. He struggles to remember each name, knowing later on in the night he won’t remember the majority of the men, but when he reaches the last knight, he feels stunned.
“My name is Namjoon, your Majesty, your Highness,” his voice is deep, and Jungkook stands still. He’s bowing, but even so Jungkook is able to tell he’s tall. When the knight looks up again, his eyes void of emotion, Jungkook has to remember to nod.
“Ah, Namjoon, you’re the one I spoke with Jaehoon about, correct?” The King is inspecting Namjoon, as if he’s a stud at a stable. It makes Jungkook’s stomach turn in discomfort. “I assume you’ve been told about my request?”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Namjoon’s voice is steady, with absolutely no sign of nerves. If Jungkook were in his place, at the mercy of the King’s scrutiny, he would be shaking like a leaf. “I would be honored to accept.”
“Wonderful, wonderful!” The King’s demeanor makes a complete switch, now joyful and merry. He pats Namjoon’s shoulder with a heavy hand, rattling the suit of armor. The knight doesn’t move an inch. “Well in that case, we’ll have much to discuss come morning. But for now, please enjoy the festivities! And Jungkook-ah, be sure to get to know Namjoon well. He’ll be your own personal knight going forwards.”
“Oh! Father I-” Jungkook turns to ask his father what he means but he’s gone, leaving Jungkook alone with the knight. Jungkook exhales heavily through his nose. “I apologize, sir Namjoon. My father is a bit scatterbrained after a few glasses of wine.”
Namjoon doesn’t respond, but Jungkook can see how his lip twitches a bit, fighting back a smile. He bows again before he stares intently at Jungkook. The young prince fidgets where he stands, suddenly nervous with the knight’s gaze on him.
“Would you like a drink? Perhaps a small bite to eat?” Jungkook grimaces, his voice sounding awkward even to himself. Namjoon’s eyes finally drift, and he lets out a small laugh.
“I can bring you something to eat, your Highness, if you so wish,” his voice is softer now, and Jungkook fights back a blush. Instead of responding, Jungkook opts to shake his head and make his way back towards the exit of the ballroom. He looks behind him to see if Namjoon is following, and he is.
“I’m not one for events like these,” Jungkook confesses once they’re far away enough from the next group closest. “I hate having to entertain people I don’t know, and I hate it more when my father tries to push men on me.”
“Does that include me?” Namjoon speaks from his side, his tone teasing. Jungkook looks over in shock and sees a grin on the knight’s face.
“No! That’s not what I meant!” Jungkook is mortified. Of course he would find a way to insult his new knight within the first day. “I apologize! I meant suitors!”
Namjoon throws his head back with a laugh. Jungkook sputters out apology after apology, and it’s only when the knight finally locks eyes with him that he settles.
“I apologize, your highness, I was only teasing,” Namjoon speaks quietly again. Jungkook pouts at him, unable to come up with a witty retort. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t do it again.”
“It’s alright,” Jungkook answers with a dramatic sigh, “I just hope you know I could have you thrown in the dungeons for your disrespect.”
Namjoon laughs again, but this time Jungkook joins in.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
600 days
Jungkook is back in the ballroom, only there’s no festivities today. Instead, he stands in the center of the room facing a dance instructor, a small band of player’s sitting near the entrance. Namjoon stands on the side as well, keeping an eye out for anyone leaving or coming in.
“You’re a very quick learner,” the instructor says. Their accent is unfamiliar to him, but honestly Jungkook has no clue where his father finds half his staff. The young Prince wouldn’t be surprised if the King hadn’t called them all from across the seas just to teach Jungkook. “I’m very very happy with your progress!”
“Thank you… um…” Jungkook still doesn’t know how to address the man. His name is foreign, and he didn’t offer a title when they were introduced.
“One more time! This time, I will be the one leading, is that alright?” Jungkook nods, and allows the instructor to position his hands correctly. The instructor takes a breath, nods towards his band, and off they went.
Jungkook thanks his father mentally for having some foresight. The King believed, obviously, as the Prince he should be the one to lead a waltz. However, Jungkook believes he should be well versed either way. He had snuck a glance at Namjoon then, who avoided his eyes with pink cheeks.
Jungkook tries to stay focused, setting his feet in the right positions as he’s turned this way and that. The instructor had told him to ‘keep his eyes up, up, up!’, but he still had to keep looking down to make sure he didn’t step on the other man’s toes. Eventually, the music came to a close, and the two bowed at each other.
“Wonderful! Well done, your Highness!” The instructor clapped his hands and the band began to pack up, and Jungkook finally breathes out in relief. “I’m sure your father will be very pleased with you, your Highness. I’ll be sure to report to him straight away!”
He bows once more and rushes out of the ballroom, band in tow. The giant doors slam shut, and suddenly Jungkook and Namjoon find themselves alone.
“Bravo! Your Highness is incredible!” Namjoon claps his hands as if he were watching a show, and Jungkook bows dramatically, acting as if he had caught a bouquet of flowers.
“I love my adoring audience,” Jungkook cries out, twirling in place. He bows a final time and grins at Namjoon. The knight had made his way to where Jungkook stood, extending out a hand for Jungkook to take. “Did you enjoy watching me dance, hyung?”
Namjoon flushes, still not used to someone like the young prince using informal language with him, but he doesn’t shy away as Jungkook brings him into a hug.
“You were wonderful, your highness,” he whispers, making Jungkook shiver. He looks around to make sure no one had snuck in on the two of them before placing a small kiss on Jungkook’s temple. It’s the most affection he was willing to spare in public, but Jungkook was more than happy to take what he could. “Next time your father throws a ball, I may have to ask you for a dance.”
“Oh you may have to wait a long while yet,” Jungkook said with a sigh. “I believe I heard him say the next festivities might take another two weeks.”
Namjoon only laughs in response, pressing another kiss to Jungkook’s forehead. Jungkook smiles up at the knight, his knight, pressing his hands against the man’s chest.
“In that case,” he says as he steps away from Jungkook, “may I have this dance?”
With a laugh, Jungkook accepts Namjoon’s outstretched hand again. They bow to each other once before Namjoon places his free hand on Jungkook’s waist, and Jungkook on Namjoon’s shoulder. It’s silly, Jungkook thinks, dancing a waltz in complete silence. But as he’s twirled around the room, Namjoon stumbling over his own boots, he can’t help imagining dancing the night away with the older man.
They stare into each other’s eyes as they sway to imaginary music, and Jungkook leans up to place a chaste kiss on Namjoon’s lips. The knight is caught off guard, stumbling once more before recovering, taking the chance to dip Jungkook down. He’s holding Jungkook up by his lower back, and the younger man flushes as Namjoon stares down at him.
Jungkook leans up and presses another kiss to Namjoon’s lips. This time, Namjoon kisses back deeply, pulling a whine from Jungkook. When he pulls back, allowing Jungkook to stand properly again, his face is flushed.
“I think I’m in love with you,” Jungkook blurts out. He slaps his hand against his mouth immediately, shocked at himself. Namjoon gawks at him, the flush on his cheeks growing deeper and spreading down to his neck. “I mean… I do love you, of course. I just… I think every part of my being loves you.”
Jungkook can feel his own face burn red. Namjoon doesn’t respond, simply stares down at the prince.
“Your Highness…”
“Forget I said anything!” Jungkook immediately turns on his heel, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his bed and hide from the knight. “That is an order, Namjoon! Forget it!”
“Your Highness,” Jungkook is stopped in his tracks as Namjoon grabs his wrist. “My prince…”
“Hyung, please, I’ve embarrassed myself enough,” Jungkook doesn’t truly fight to get out of the knight’s grasp. Namjoon holds his wrist delicately, his calloused hands warm against Jungkook’s skin. His hand slides down to wrap around Jungkook’s own hand, interlacing their fingers together.
“My apologies, your highness,” Namjoon’s voice is soft as he gets down on one knee. Bringing Jungkook’s hand to his lips, he presses a soft kiss on each knuckle. “I can’t forget what you said, my prince, even if the gods above commanded me so.”
Jungkook curses the fates for putting Namjoon on a path of knighthood. He would make for an incredible scholar, piecing together poems and stories. It was an incredible skill he had, being able to render Jungkook speechless with a simple sentence, either written or spoken. Jungkook had locked away some of his favorite letters Namjoon had written to him whenever he was forced out on patrol. Not to mention, it would’ve made it easier for them…
“Namjoon-hyung,” Jungkook swallows down the tears that begin to well up. Startled, the knight rises to his feet.
“I love you, your Highness,” Namjoon says quickly, as if believing he had hurt Jungkook by not repeating the words. “I am deeply in love with you, every part of you. Every day I wake up thankful I get to spend my days beside you, and every night we spend together I am reminded as to why I love you.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook chokes on a sob, thoroughly overwhelmed. Namjoon places both hands on Jungkook’s cheeks, forcing the prince into eye contact. “Namjoon-hyung-”
“I promise to protect you and love you for as long as you’ll have me, your Highness,” Namjoon’s lips brush against Jungkook’s as he speaks, “and I know it’s not as simple as me vowing that to you. We aren’t-”
“Don’t say it, please,” Jungkook whispers the plead against Namjoon’s lips.
“Your Highness, we aren’t meant to be together,” a silent sob escapes Jungkook. “We aren’t, but that won’t stop me from loving you. That won’t stop me from dedicating myself to you, devoting my being to you. I am yours, in all senses of the word.”
“It’s not fair,” Jungkook’s voice is small. Namjoon only continues to hold him, wrapping him in a hug and caressing his hair. They don’t speak again.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
300 Days
Summer is at its peak, the hot sun scorching Jungkook if he dares to set foot outside. He finds refuge within the castle walls, and eventually finds himself back in the ballroom. Namjoon took his station against the walls, watching as the castle staff flitted around. Jungkook feels bad having Namjoon following him around every single day. He imagines if he’s overheating in his own robes and tunics, the knight must be roasting in his armor.
“Jungkook-ah,” a voice calls out. Jungkook stands from one of the benches and watches as his oldest brother, the Crown Prince, approaches him. His face is neutral, as it usually is. “Where have you been? You know Father doesn’t enjoy having to chase you around to get in a word with you.”
Jungkook bows slightly before raising his brow. Namjoon is still stationed far on the opposite side of the room.
“Apologies, I had no clue he was looking for me.”
“It’s urgent from what I heard. Best be on your way now,” Jungkook nods and goes to leave when his brother grabs his arm.
“What are-”
“Jungkook,” his brother speaks quietly. Jungkook’s stomach drops, the immediate dread causing goosebumps to raise around where the hand is wrapped around his forearm. “Father wants you to marry, and soon. He’s going to speak to you about an engagement.”
“He swore he wouldn’t arrange anything without my permission,” Jungkook replies coolly. He tries to keep his composure, but one could never know with the King. He sees Namjoon tense from across the room, trying to gauge if he needs to step in and keep the two princes apart. His brother’s own guard stands beside him, but doesn’t react to the interaction.
“He’s growing desperate with you. You have made no moves to try and entertain any suitors and you hardly socialize with anyone outside of the castle.” There’s a tug on Jungkook’s arm and he’s pulled closer to his brother. He leans in close and begins to whisper in his ear “He doesn’t know for sure, but he has a suspicion you have a lover. One of the scholars. Is he correct?”
“Of course not,” Jungkook hisses in response. He glances over at Namjoon who is now being held back by his brother’s guard, having their own whispered conversation. “What would give him that idea?”
He hears his brother sigh, the grip on his arm loosening slightly. Jungkook takes the chance to rip his arm out of the grasp, stepping away from his brother.
“He found a letter on your desk.”
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
90 Days
“Congratulations on your engagement, your Highness.” A man who Jungkook has never met bows before him, offering a gift box to him. The young prince takes the box with his own bow and thanks him, handing the gift to one of the attendants to take back to his quarters. When that man walks away, another takes his spot and repeats the interaction. A bow and a gift, a bow and a gift. Over and over.
When the final family offers their gift, Jungkook is relieved. He sits back on his throne, watching as servants begin to bring in tables and food for his engagement party. His father sits beside him, and Namjoon stands on his other side. When the ballroom is finally ready, a band begins to play and the celebration begins.
Jungkook has to fight to keep tears out of his eyes, a lump permanently lodging itself in his throat. He watches everyone as they socialize, getting annoyed when he sees couples dancing together.
“Jungkook,” his father finally speaks, clearing his throat when Jungkook doesn’t immediately respond.
“Yes, father?” Jungkook doesn’t look at him, choosing to stare at a point directly across from him.
“You’re upset with me.” Jungkook has to bite his tongue to prevent a scoff, finally glancing over at the King. His anger mellows out slightly when he sees his father’s face. He looks tired. “I know I swore not to meddle, but the circumstances were dire.”
“What circumstances, father? You know I have no duty to produce heirs, nor do I have any political power.” His annoyance comes back in full force, and no matter how regretful his father looks, it doesn’t change the betrayal. “I have no reason to marry, especially a prince from another kingdom.”
“We had to unify in order to expand our dynasty. Both your brothers are wed, and we have no other family for a union. You were our last option,” his father still looks sad and it only works to upset Jungkook further. “If there were any other choice, trust me, I would’ve vouched for it.”
“So I was pawned off to a man I’ve never met because you wanted more power?” Jungkook tries to keep his voice down, but a few glances are thrown their way. He can feel Namjoon’s gaze on him, but for both their sakes he’s ignoring him tonight. “Surely you would be able to sign an agreement of some sort? Form an alliance?”
His father’s sadness falters for a moment, his face falling into annoyance before schooling itself back into pity. By now his brothers, who were sat on his father’s left side, excuse themselves, the eldest glaring at Jungkook and the other mouthing a ‘sorry’.
“We don’t want to be allied, Jungkook. We want to unify our kingdoms into one. We need our families to come together, and we need you to marry in order to do that.”
“Who exactly is ‘we’? I wasn’t exactly consulted about this decision,” Jungkook knows he’s speaking out of turn, but the heartbreak and the anger is clouding his judgment. He feels Namjoon shift behind him, as if trying to remind Jungkook that he’s not speaking to his father alone. More and more people are beginning to stare, whispering as the King and the youngest prince are arguing. Is the monarchy so weak that a King allows himself to be scolded by his own youngest child?
“Mind your tongue, Jungkook. Don’t forget yourself,” the facade of guilt is gone from the King’s face, anger now apparent in his features. Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, focusing his gaze back out into the crowd. Everyone who had started to eavesdrop quickly turned away, falling into hushed conversations. “Your duty is to the crown, or have you forgotten already?”
“Of course I haven’t-”
“Or perhaps you were hoping to marry the scholar?” Jungkook feels the blood drain from his face. He doesn’t dare look at his father, nor does he want to risk catching Namjoon’s eye. “For as neat as you believe yourself to be, you seem to have become more and more forgetful.”
Jungkook doesn’t know how to respond, the dread growing and causing his blood to run cold. His father only sighs deeply, leaning further back in his chair.
“You must remember you may not be the crown prince, but you are a prince nonetheless. This is the life we all must live.”
Jungkook stays silent, not trusting himself to speak clearly.
“Prince Minhyun will arrive in a few weeks time. Your wedding will occur as soon as he does, and then the both of you will be on your way back to Goguryeo.”
“So you are sending me to live in his home as well,” Jungkook hates this. He hates feeling powerless.
“You are to leave everything here. They will provide you with anything you may need. Our staff will stay here, and you will be gifted new attendants as a wedding gift of sorts.”
Every word his father speaks feels as if being struck in the chest, leaving Jungkook breathless. He finally looks over at Namjoon, but he doesn’t show any emotion. He looks back at his father with a glare instead.
“Not one of my staff will accompany me?” He doesn’t care about appearances, doesn’t care what his father would think if he knew the truth. “Why wouldn’t my knight ensure my safe travel?”
The King sighs again, standing to his feet. Jungkook mirrors the move, refusing to allow his father to simply ignore him.
“There’s no need, Jungkook. Everything has been arranged for you. All you need to do is appear on your wedding day.” He begins to walk away and Jungkook follows him, leaving Namjoon behind. “Do not make a scene at your engagement party.”
“Father, that is my one request. Marry me off if you must, send me away for the rest of my life if you so desire, but please… at least allow me to bring my knight with me.”
He nearly walks into his father as he comes to an abrupt stop, turning on his heel to scowl down at Jungkook. It’s a look Jungkook always hated, causing a deep pit of guilt in his stomach. The people around them begin to stare again, perhaps wondering why the newly engaged prince is so upset at the King.
“You are in no position to make requests, Jungkook. You will be wed to Prince Minhyun within three months and you will live with him in his kingdom,” Jungkook opens his mouth to protest when his father leans down, down to Jungkook’s level and forces direct eye contact. “I will not allow you to bring your lover with you. What sort of disrespect are you wanting to bring upon your fiance?”
The dread grows, and Jungkook begins to feel sick. His father knew?
“You’re lucky I don’t throw Namjoon in the dungeons to rot. How dare you make requests when you’ve done nothing but spit in my face for years?” His father keeps his voice low, hissing so only Jungkook could hear. The young prince tried to steel his expression into something neutral, but there was no keeping fear from showing in his eyes. “You are to behave until your wedding day, otherwise you will find yourself facing punishment for both yourself and Namjoon. I will continue to turn a blind eye to your… activities… but you will do what was agreed upon. Do you understand?”
“Yes, your majesty,” Jungkook has no will left to fight.
“This is my wedding gift to you,” the King says as he stands to his full height. “Act grateful, boy. I will have no problem handing you his head in a box instead.”
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
“Run away with me.”
Namjoon whips his head to look over at Jungkook, who hasn’t moved from his throne in some time. He stares with no focus, looking all around the ballroom as people celebrate. His father has long since retired, giving a final toast for the young prince’s engagement. He grabbed Jungkook by his collar, scruffing him as he spoke on and on about prosperity between kingdoms. It had felt like a shackle chained around his neck.
“Your highness-”
“I’m sure we could survive. I can take some of these wedding gifts to sell along the way,” Jungkook continues to look out, avoiding Namjoon’s worried glance. “Besides, with you by my side, nothing can hurt me.”
“I can’t do that, your Highness,” Namjoon steps closer to Jungkook’s throne. He kneels beside him, ignoring all the curious glances thrown their way. “I won’t put you at risk, even by your choice.”
“And what if I were to order you to leave with me? As your ward and a prince, is it not your duty to do as I say?” Jungkook knows he’s grasping at straws, desperate to get out of his father’s grasp. He knows Namjoon’s answer. He knows how deep the loyalty for the crown, more specifically his loyalty to the King, runs.
Namjoon only stares at Jungkook, not wanting to lie to his prince but also not wanting to disappoint him further. Jungkook takes the silence as an answer of its own and closes his eyes, surrendering himself to his fate.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
30 Days
Jungkook feels completely overstimulated, the constant murmur of voices causing him a headache. He’s being poked and prodded by a seamstress as another servant asks him his preference in flowers. Would he like the purple flowers or the blue? Would he prefer the benches to have stark white runners or ivory? He tries to focus on the seamstress, letting her know when the fabric is too tight or when it feels scratchy.
His schedule had been busy from sunrise to sundown for weeks, either taking classes with a scholar sent by Goguryeo or sitting through a meeting with his father and his advisors. He’s taken to spending his free time in the royal library, tucked away in the archives to hide from his future. If anyone questioned why both he and his knight spent hours hidden away, they kept it to themselves. Now that he’s facing a ticking clock, the countdown to his life being forever changed, they were more occupied with impressing his fiance and the new family.
The ballroom is a hub of activity today. With less than a month left until the royal wedding, it seems every single servant has been called in to start arranging every room and hall in the castle into the biggest display of grandeur. The King had ordered new decorations, new paintings, new furniture, all to impress Jungkook’s husband-to-be. Said man hadn’t so much as sent a letter to share his excitement for the wedding, but if Jungkook had to guess, he would place a wager on neither party being too ecstatic over the engagement.
“Your highness, a word?” Namjoon’s voice cuts through the hum of voices, drawing Jungkook from his thoughts. “It’s not urgent, if you would like to finish up here.”
“No, no, it’s alright,” Jungkook waves the seamstress away, who drags the servant asking non-stop questions away as well. “Anything to get away from those needles, it’s honestly a miracle this poor fabric hasn’t been soaked red with how much she’s pricked me.”
“You look beautiful, your highness,” Namjoon states plainly. Jungkook blushes, staring at himself in the mirror. Truth be told, he thinks this might be the finest set of clothing he’s ever worn; it’s a shame it’s for a wedding he never wanted.
“Thank you, Namjoon,” Jungkook hates speaking to the knight when other people are around, he feels hyper aware of all the eyes on the two of them. It causes both of them to be more rigid, more careful of the words they speak. “What is it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Ah, nothing really. I just…” Namjoon hesitates with his next sentence, “I received my next assignment.”
“Oh.”
“I am to leave right after your wedding.”
“I see,” Jungkook hates feeling powerless.
“Thankfully his majesty scheduled it so I would be able to attend the feast,” Namjoon says it as if his father was being merciful, a saint in the face of men. Jungkook bites his tongue to avoid letting Namjoon know it’s being done as a final taunt.
“His majesty is very thoughtful, isn’t he?” He’s sure the knight was able to sense the heavy sarcasm dripping from his words, but Namjoon doesn’t acknowledge it. “I wish he were more generous.”
Namjoon doesn’t know the fine details of the argument between Jungkook and his father; he’s not aware that his father knew of their affairs, and Jungkook feels guilty for keeping it from him. The guilt is outweighed by relief, however; he would rather face the terror his father instills within him alone than force Namjoon to be a target to it as well.
“I suppose it’s more than we can ask for, isn’t it?” Jungkook tries to ignore how those words cause a sharp pain in his heart. “At the very least, I’ll finally be able to ask you for that dance, right?”
Jungkook laughs, doubling over and grabbing onto Namjoon for support. Namjoon laughs along, trying to keep Jungkook steady as the prince struggles to breathe.
The laughter becomes tears, sobs being pulled from Jungkook as he continues to lean on Namjoon for support. He can hear the servants pause, whispering as the young prince falls into hysteria. His knight is clearly caught off guard as Jungkook wails, tears continuously streaming down his face.
Eventually, the ballroom clears out. The staff felt as if they were imposing as Namjoon continued holding Jungkook, but he didn’t care if there were witnesses to his breakdown. For all he cared, they were complacent in his father’s punishment. To him, it felt as though the flowers and the banners they worked so hard to make beautiful were decorating the gallows.
Jungkook cried for what felt like hours. He clutched onto Namjoon like a lifeline, sobbing into the knight’s chestplate. The older man had no way to comfort him, his own heart was broken and tired. Instead, he wrapped himself around the prince to try and block any straying eyes from seeing him broken. Once everyone had left, he began placing soft kisses on Jungkook’s head, rubbing a hand on his back.
Eventually the cries calmed down some, and Jungkook sniffled as Namjoon comforted him. He tries to silence himself completely, but the hiccupping sobs still echo in the large room.
“Your highness, would you like to retire for the day?” Namjoon’s voice is low, almost a whisper against Jungkook’s ear, but even so the shakiness is apparent. He wants to cry too, Jungkook can guess as much, yet he’s forcing himself to keep his composure to make sure Jungkook has a shoulder to cry on. It’s enough to send Jungkook into another crying fit, startling Namjoon.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jungkook says as soon as he’s calmed down again. He takes in a few shuddering breaths before leaning away from Namjoon. He wipes shyly at the tears gathered on the knight's chestplate, and Namjoon only looks down at him fondly. “Ah… I don’t like crying in front of you.”
“I don’t think that’s true, your highness,” Namjoon says matter-of-factly, “you tend to cry a lot when you’re with me.”
“Hyung!” Jungkook hides his face in Namjoon’s chestplate again. “What if someone heard you?”
“I don’t believe we have much more to lose, my prince.”
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
0 Days
“-and with this union, may our kingdoms find a new age of prosperity for the crown and its subjects.”
Jungkook is bored, the bishop’s monologue much longer than he remembered from both his brothers’ weddings. His hands are clammy as he holds his fiance’s- husband’s - hand, and he fights the urge to let go and wipe his palms on his trousers. From the corner of his eye, he can see Minhyun has his eyes closed as the bishop speaks. Is he doing it because he’s bored?
Jungkook shifts where he stands, restless as he feels the eyes of his family and Minhyun’s family on his back. Looking to his right, he can see the line of knights stationed for security, but one face is missing from the lineup. Namjoon, who has been assigned to one of the far off territories, a two days trip in the opposite direction of Jungkook’s new home. He’s been given a day to celebrate the royal wedding, but as soon as the celebration ends, he’s to hop on a horse and make his way out of the kingdom. They had spent the last few nights sleepless, nothing but their labored breaths and sweet nothings whispered sounding in the dark of Jungkook’s sleeping chambers.
The ballroom feels like a prison, as if the bishop is sentencing him to spend the rest of his days hidden away with lock and key beside a man who hasn’t so much as spared him a glance since his arrival. Jungkook looks around, finally taking a moment to appreciate the art and statues hanging from the walls. They’re beautiful, expertly created by men who were alive when his grandfather’s father was a child. Now, Jungkook can only hope he can remember the sight after he’s gone, never to return to this castle. He takes in a deep breath to avoid breaking out in tears.
“Now, if you would please,” the bishop motions for the two of them to face each other as he holds out two rings. “With the exchange of the rings, symbolizing the prosperity of each kingdom, you will be joined as one.”
Minhyun goes first, hesitating as he holds his hand in his own. It’s cold, Jungkook thinks, remembering how warm Namjoon’s touch was. He glances out at the rows of people watching the ceremony. In a split second he finds Namjoon, his knight, looking on with his jaw clenched. The sight of him is too much, and he quickly averts his gaze back to the man in front of him.
Jungkook holds his breath as the ring, a gorgeous piece made with gold and jade harvested near the Goguryeo territories, is placed on his finger. It feels heavy on his skin.
“And now, Prince Jungkook of the Balhaeseon Dynasty, place your ring upon Prince Minhyun of Goguryeo, and unify these two kingdoms under one.” The bishop's voice rings in Jungkook’s ears, and his hands shake as he reaches for Minhyun’s hand.
The Balhaeseon ring is equally as beautiful, made of silver and amethyst, and Jungkook’s heart clenches at the sight of it. The purple gem looks wrong against Minhyun’s skin, it shouldn’t be this unknown prince standing in front of Jungkook. When the ring is fully on Minhyun’s finger, Jungkook glances back at Namjoon, and he sees him with his hand pressed against his lips.
“With this union, may both the people of Balhaeseon and Goguryeo find prosperity.”
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
Jungkook finds himself staring out into the ballroom again, the wedding celebration in full force. Everyone had been led to the dining hall for a feast, but now the ballroom had been transformed from the ceremony space back into a space to dance and drink. The thrones had been reconfigured for the night as well, with the King’s behind Jungkook’s and his new husband’s. Jungkook feels like a child again with the way his father’s shadow looms over him.
Most of the guests had congratulated the new couple through the feast, but now the few stragglers had come to bid their well wishes. Jungkook could only bow in response, afraid if he spoke his voice would crack and give away the dread he feels. Minhyun was much more charming, making quick friends with everyone as they made their way to the newlyweds.
When Namjoon finally made his way over, Jungkook forced himself to stay collected. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself into his arms, to jump into Namjoon’s embrace and fade away until everyone disappeared. Instead, he watches as his knight, his Namjoon, bows.
“Congratulations, your highnesses, I wish your marriage is long and prosperous,” Namjoon’s voice is steady, cool, and nothing short of proper, but Jungkook can sense the slight tremble. He sees the way Namjoon’s jaw is clenched, his eyes dull. Minhyun extends a hand and Namjoon takes it politely, but Jungkook knows he would squeeze it until the bones shattered if they were alone.
“I heard you were my husband’s knight, correct?” Jungkook’s blood runs cold. Had his father said anything to Minhyun before his arrival?
“Yes, sir, I was tasked with his protection for the last two years.”
“Well, I thank you for keeping him safe in my absence,” Minhyun laughs out loud, and it irks Jungkook’s nerves. He and Namjoon share a glance before Namjoon chuckles and bows, excusing himself.
After that, Minhyun lets Jungkook know he’s stepping away for a moment before disappearing into the crowd. Jungkook sighs, watching everyone in the ballroom as they celebrate. If only they knew how miserable Jungkook felt; would they continue celebrating despite it?
“Will you wallow in self pity here all night? Or will you at least pretend to be happy and dance for a while?” The King’s voice booms over him, startling Jungkook. His misery turns to annoyance and he turns his head to glare at his father.
“I figured you would have wanted to keep your eye on me all night,” Jungkook’s voice is heavy with sarcasm. “Perhaps I’ll take the chance of your drunken state to finally run away.”
The King laughs, but it’s venomous and sends a chill down Jungkook’s spine. He stands from his throne and steps down to Jungkook's, leaning down into his son’s ear.
“The guards have my permission to drag you back to the dungeons if either you or your knight set foot outside the castle walls before the night ends,” the whispering causes Jungkook to break out in goosebumps, his heart thumping so loud in his head it makes him dizzy. “If you so much as think about running away, I won’t hesitate to go back on my word.”
As Jungkook watches the King disappear into the crowd, he comes to the realization of his father’s true evil. He hadn’t allowed Namjoon to remain in the castle for his wedding as a taunt, as some joke against him and Jungkook. He had ordered Namjoon to remain and witness the wedding as a final punishment, so the two lovers were forced to go through the pain of knowing what will never be. His father forced Namjoon to watch Jungkook marry someone else, someone fitting for the crown, and Jungkook was forced to marry someone who his heart could never accept.
Jungkook is angry again, angry at his father and at his birthright, angry at Minhyun for not objecting to the marriage, angry at himself for not standing his ground. But he could never be mad at Namjoon, he was a victim of circumstance, punished for Jungkook’s disobedience. Would Namjoon have a happier life if Jungkook hadn’t fallen in love with him?
His father was right about one thing. He shouldn’t sit and pout when wine is being poured freely. He stands and rushes to the banquet table, overflowing with desserts and fruit, and covered in goblets full of wine. Snatching one, he scanned the room in search of-
“Your highness should be careful, I hear the wine is more potent tonight.”
Jungkook whips his head to face Namjoon, who bares a grin. He holds his own goblet and raises it to his lips. Jungkook mirrors the move, grimacing at the smell.
“It even smells stronger,” he complains as he takes a sip. Namjoon wasn’t lying, it tasted even more bitter than usual. Figures, considering the circumstances. “I suppose my father truly wanted the best for tonight.”
“Your Majesty truly wanted the most exquisite for his son's wedding, hm?” Namjoon is no longer hiding the disdain in his voice, perhaps tired of pretending he’s not upset at the King. “How do you find the celebration?”
“It’s too much, surely there was no need for such a grand event,” Jungkook doesn’t lie. He’s uncomfortable with how many people surround him, and it doesn’t help that he can feel everyone’s eyes on him. If his father’s threat was true, he wouldn’t be surprised if all the guards on duty were watching his every move. “I would have preferred if it was a simple feast, nothing like this.”
“I’m sorry, Jungkook-ah,” the prince snaps his head up, eyes wide as he stares at Namjoon. He can see other’s looking at them curiously, whispering as a simple knight addresses the prince so casually. “At least one good thing can come from tonight.”
“And what would that be, hyung?” If Namjoon doesn’t care anymore, Jungkook will follow his lead and act recklessly, ignoring the pointed looks from the guests.
“I can finally ask you for that dance,” Namjoon extends a hand out to him with a bow, and Jungkook takes it with a giggle. Surely people will gossip on why the prince had his first dance with a knight instead of with his husband, but as Namjoon leads him to the center of the room, placing his hand on Jungkook’s waist, he finds he wants them to gossip. Let everyone know how Jungkook looked into Namjoon’s eyes with nothing but love and adoration.
Namjoon leads the dance, and this time neither stumble over their own feet, completely synchronized with the music played by the royal band. Jungkook squeezes Namjoon’s hand in his own, and he feels the knight squeeze back. As the music swells to a climax, they twirl and sway around the room, oblivious to their surroundings. The background melts away as they dance together, and Jungkook smiles. More and more people join them on the dance floor, the more drunken couples bumping into them with giggles and apologies.
“Jungkook-ah, I wanted to give you something,” Namjoon says as he pulls the prince closer. They’re pressed together, chest to chest, as people around them continue dancing. “I never got a chance to offer my wedding present.”
“Ah, hyung,” Jungkook pouts, “I don’t want any wedding presents.”
“I think you’ll like it, my prince,” Namjoon slides the hand holding Jungkook’s waist to his own pocket, drawing a small box. “I had these made in a rush, so please don’t expect anything grand.”
Jungkook freezes, taking the box from the older man. He glances up at Namjoon, sees how nervous he is, and opens the gift.
“Oh… hyung…”
Two matching rings, made with Balhaeseon amethyst, lie inside. Jungkook takes Namjoon by the hand and leads him to a secluded corner.
“I’m sorry, this was the best I could acquire on such short notice,” Namjoon doesn’t notice Jungkook’s teary eyes as he cradles the box to his chest. “I figured you would want a piece of home when you leave.”
“Hyung… when did you have these made? How did you manage to get amethyst?” Jungkook wipes at his eyes, taking the rings in his hand. “Oh hyung, they’re beautiful.”
They’re not as luxurious as the ring his husband now wears, but Jungkook could tell how carefully crafted they were made. The bands are thin, but they’re inlaid with three small pieces of amethyst. Small enough to not be worth much, but big enough to have cost Namjoon a few month’s pay.
“I know you have more jewelry than you know what to do with, but hopefully this ring could be part of your collection as well,” Namjoon takes one of the rings from Jungkook’s hand, sliding it onto the finger bearing his new wedding ring. “Hopefully it doesn’t cause you any problems with your husband.”
“To hell with him. I’ll never take it off, hyung.” Jungkook takes the second ring, holding Namjoon’s hand in his, and slides the ring on. The silver and amethyst look perfect on the knight’s skin. “There. Now we can have one thing connecting us, no matter how far apart we are.”
“Don’t forget, my prince,” Namjoon pulls Jungkook into a hug as he speaks, “the night sky is vast, but it’s the same no matter where you go. Whenever you look up at the moon and the stars, I’ll be looking up too.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond, doesn’t trust himself to speak again as the tears threaten to fall. Instead, he pulls Namjoon back out to the dance floor, pulling him into another dance. Their rings shine, flashing in the light every time they twirl to the music. Jungkook has his head hidden in the crook of Namjoon’s neck, smiling as the music slows down. Namjoon lays his head atop Jungkook’s, smiling as he holds the prince one last time.
Neither comment on the tears they both shed.
When the night comes to an end, the guests leave one by one with a final bow to the young prince and his husband, Jungkook hesitates stepping out of the ballroom. His new husband leaves him to stand alone with a sad smile, perhaps pitying him and his fate. Jungkook doesn’t move, staring as the castle staff make quick work of taking down all the decorations, the flowers and satin covering the walls.
“Do you have time for another dance, my prince?” Namjoon’s voice breaks him out of his trance. He looks up at the knight, his heart breaking as he sees how his red-rimmed eyes still shimmer with unshed tears. Namjoon bows, holding out his hand in invitation . Jungkook takes it with a wet laugh, his throat constricting with a sob. The band has long since gone, so the two begin to dance in silence, just as they did so many weeks ago.
“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers into Namjoon’s neck. He hears the knight hum in response, pulling back to look at Jungkook. The prince pulls him closer, refusing to let him see the tears running down his face. “Hyung…. Do you think I’ll ever see you again?”
It's a question the two of them have refused to acknowledge. Jungkook’s father is nothing short of omnipotent; if he caught word of a reunion between the two of them, Jungkook is sure he would keep his promise of taking Namjoon’s head as a trophy.
“Of course, my prince. I would walk to Hell and back for you,” Namjoon’s words are resolute, and it makes Jungkook want to tear his heart out.
They don’t speak again, instead swaying until Jungkook’s father says it’s time to leave. The two hesitate to separate, Jungkook clutching onto Namjoon with a white-knuckle grip, and Namjoon has his arm wrapped around the prince’s waist.
“It’s time, my love. We have to go,” Namjoon whispers into Jungkook’s ear. Jungkook only pulls himself closer to the knight, shaking his head when the other tries to separate himself.
“I can’t live without you, hyung…” Jungkook’s voice shakes as he speaks, but he relents and steps away from Namjoon. “He can’t do this to us.”
“We’ll be alright, my prince,” Namjoon presses a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead, drawing a gasp from the man. Both his father and his new husband stand nearby, bearing witness to their goodbyes, but what more is there to risk?
“But hyung-”
“Before winter comes, we can arrange a meeting. I’ll send you letters,” Namjoon whispers again. Jungkook pulls away again to look into his eyes, seeing if Namjoon is simply making empty promises. His eyes are rimmed red, but they’re unwavering. Determined. “We’ll have to go under your father’s nose, but I’m sure we’ll see each other soon.”
With that, the two pull away, and Jungkook gets whisked away by his husband. He looks back to see his father and Namjoon standing face to face, the knight glowering down at the King. It seems he no longer wants to save face with the man who tore his love away.
And when Jungkook is on his way to his new home, his husband sleeping beside him, he begins to doze off to the sound of horse hooves and rain.
≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫
When he dreams, he dreams of a knight in shining armor, dancing to silence and loving him all the same.