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Seeing her hug him close, tears flooding her pretty face…his shock at her movement. His eyes met mine and true to his style he minimized the event with taunting and called me stupid. I can’t one up his pettiness, even if I tried. I always end up leaving…and that’s what I’ll do this time.
Under the guise of having nothing else better to do with my time, I limped away on my busted leg, my betas under each of my arms. I hid my face so he wouldn’t see, but who was I kidding…he never had eyes for me.
Every punch was a caress, every kick…praise. We fought like pack mates but the burning in my soul was mine alone. I let my tears wash clean tracks in the dirt on my face. The strap in my hair felt too loose, and I begged Ginta to just take it down already. He sat me on the path and did as I asked. He shared a worried glance at Hakkaku…and I briefly wondered how much he knew.
“L-listen, Koga…we…we all knew this was coming.” Ginta began carefully. “She was always his.”
“This isn’t about Kagome.” I sighed.
Her name on my lips did nothing for me, save fuel the jealous fire in my belly. My betas looked confused for a moment. I sat and scowled and wallowed in my misery.
“Wait… Inuyasha?” Hakkaku’s jaw hung slack, his eyes wide. “But you’re so mean to each other!”
I smirked sadly.
“I don’t know how to court males. But competition…that I can do. How was I supposed to know it would never work?”
Ginta stood then and took Hakkaku’s hand in his. I tracked the movement, feeling a pinch in my chest.
“Males like softness, too, Koga. I know you did...when he took care of you in the cave back there.”
I rubbed my stinging eyes and hung my head. Ginta was right…I had liked it. Being pack leader, no one takes care of me. I enjoyed, too, when Inuyasha had griped about my scent on his clothes…complaints or not, he paid enough attention to it to mention something.
“I couldn’t be soft with Inuyasha…he plays hard, and fights like a madman. Even Kagome had to…” my throat constricted at the memory of all those damn Sits, how tough she had to be to bring him down a peg. I didn’t stand a chance. I buried my head in my hands.
The boys sat with me in silence. Ginta’s forehead on one shoulder, Hakkaku’s hand on another. The sun had moved by the time I could breathe normally again. I sniffed loudly, wiping the back of my hand across my nose like a pup. I was a mess, but I could move on.
I had to.