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It started simply with a scratching sensation in the back of his throat, which of course gradually developed into a small cough. Nothing he couldn’t hide when working or when Hua Cheng asked him for a report on the city. He figured he was getting sick, now that he was not a god he supposed it was possible, though he still couldn’t die with the shackle on his wrist. With that thought he brushed it off and continued his duties, it’s not as if he’d be able to have days off anyway.
It only got worse as time went on though, few and far between coughs became uncontrollable fits in which he’d have to sit down in order to catch his breath. He realized his breathing was becoming almost labored when he was doing his duties around ghost city. Ghosts began to whisper that something was wrong with him but he ignored it, there were plenty of illnesses that could explain and it would certainly go away soon.
It didn’t go away. More people began to take notice of his coughing fits and he struggled further to hide it from Hua Cheng. He didn’t need any help; it would go away on its own. That was until during one of his worst coughing fits things changed. He was on his way back to the gamblers den in order to report about a settled dispute when he started to cough again. He slipped into an alley and let himself sit against the wall to try and catch his breath. He realized with a start he was choking on something that seemed to be lodged deep in his throat.
He ripped his mask off desperate to get whatever it was out of his throat. He coughed harder, beginning to panic as he fell forward, heaving. Whatever it was rose further up in his throat until he finally spit out onto the ground. He fell back against the wall again gasping and wiping the tears that had gathered at his eyes. He looked down at what it was and was met with a clump of flower petals.
These little white petals had come from inside him. He didn’t know what was happening to him anymore. He took another deep breath and grabbed the petals, stuffing them in his pocket before putting his mask back on and continuing back towards the gamblers den.
When he entered the place was empty, even the attendants that normally filled the gamblers' den were nowhere to be found. He looked around warily but entered anyway slowly approaching the place Hua Cheng normally stayed when he was here. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led to the throne and waited for Hua Cheng to speak. He knew he was up there, he wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong though.
“Yin Yu,” Hua Cheng came out from behind the curtain already frowning. “Did you truly think you could hide the fact that you are sick from me?”
He frowned behind the mask and bowed his head respectfully, “It hadn’t been an issue Chengzhu, it didn’t seem important.”
Hua Cheng’s frown only deepened, “It’s important especially if it’s affecting your duties, residents have seen you having to take breaks due to coughing fits. You should have said something.”
He bowed, already having an apology ready, “I apologize Chengzhu, I’m sure it will go away soon anyways. You don’t need to worry about it. I have the report for today.”
Hua Cheng held up a hand to stop him, and walked down the stairs towards him, “There’s no need for that today, go and rest, a healer will be here tomorrow to give you herbs to treat whatever you have. You won’t be working until you’re recovered.”
Yin Yu stayed bowing but frowned again, “Who will do my duties then Chengzhu? I’m still able to work.”
“No, I can handle the city for a few days, now leave and go rest.” With that Hua Cheng walked past him and out of the gambler’s den, not bothering to wait for him to respond.
Seeing as he didn’t have much of a choice he left for paradise manor. He went to his own room in the manor and figured he’d go to bed. Before that though he took the crumpled petals from where he’d stuffed them and set them in a bowl before slipping it under his bed. He figured he’d have to find out what they were at some point but had the feeling that he shouldn’t tell Hua Cheng, just in case it was something serious.
~•~
He woke up coughing violently in the middle of the night and the feeling of something lodged in his throat was back. He sat up quickly coughing hard to try and get it free, it felt bigger this time something was scratching him as it struggled to come loose. It couldn’t have been just petals.
He could feel it moving up and struggled to draw a breath in with the little room there was. He moved off the bed letting himself fall to his knees on the floor as he continued to try and dislodge whatever was stuck in his throat. He didn’t hear the door open over the sound of himself coughing and flinched when someone touched his shoulder.
Hua Cheng was kneeling with him trying to get him to sit up. He sat back still coughing, unable to stop as whatever it was made its way up. He didn’t want Hua Cheng to see it but figured trying to push him out would end poorly. Finally he coughed one last time, spitting out a flower that had splatters of his blood all over.
Hua Cheng grimaced grabbing the water he kept on his bed stand and handing it to him, “What the fuck was that?”
He grabbed the glass and quickly downed the water before panting a bit to catch his breath. “I don’t know, it’s only happened one other time.”
He rubbed his throat, still able to faintly taste the blood in his mouth. “It’s fine, I’m fine, it’ll pass.”
Hua Cheng shook his head, “I’m going to look into it, that’s not normal. Stay here, you don’t need to be going anywhere while this is happening.”
Hua Cheng stood up and then helped Yin Yu up and into his bed. “I’m serious, stay here.”
He nodded, sitting back on the bed, “I understand Chengzhu.”
He waited, staying in bed, choosing to just accept that he probably wasn’t able to do anything about whatever was wrong with him. The coughing only seemed to get worse, blood and petals were seeming to become a regular occurrence and he just dumped the petals into the bowl under his bed. It was like being near Hua Cheng had made it worse, coughing was taking more out of him now than it had before, it hurt more.
Hua Cheng didn’t take long to come back with He Xuan following close behind holding a small scroll. They were clearly talking through the array not wanting others to hear what they were saying. They stopped after walking inside his room all the way. Hua Cheng shifted his focus down to the bowl of flower petals that sat on the bed in front of Yin Yu.
He Xuan moved forward looking at the petals collected in the bowl and then setting the small scroll down in front of Yin Yu. “We’ve figured out what’s wrong with you, you can read it for yourself.”
Hua Cheng glared at He Xuan but didn’t say anything and waited for Yin Yu to read the scroll. Yin Yu opened it and stared at what was written at the top. It was about a disease born from unrequited love, it caused flowers to take root in the lungs and eventually suffocate the person affected if they were unable to cure it.
Unrequited love? He didn’t think he was in love, though he wasn’t sure he knew what love really felt like, or what it was like to be in love. He didn’t interact with very many people often enough, he saw Hua Cheng everyday and He Xuan came around often enough. It definitely wasn’t Lord Blackwater though. Could what he felt towards Hua Cheng be love?
He admired Hua Cheng, and respected him a lot, but was that love? He liked to have Hua Cheng’s attention and cherished the few times they had spent together when he wasn’t working. He wanted to be around Hua Cheng, he wanted to stay here with him forever even though he was searching for someone else, was that? It was love, wasn’t it, wanting to devote himself to Hua Cheng forever and receive the same devotion back. He couldn’t have that though, Hua Cheng wouldn’t want that with him.
He frowned at the scroll and looked back up at the two ghost kings. “It doesn’t say anywhere on the scroll how you cure it.”
“There’s two ways, one is to have your feelings reciprocated by whoever it is you’re in love with and the other-” Hua Cheng cut He Xuan off by covering his mouth.
He Xuan shoved him off but let Hua Cheng speak anyway. “There isn’t another option, you’re not doing it.”
“My feelings won’t be reciprocated. They can’t be. I need to know the other way to cure it, Chengzhu.” Yin Yu rolled the scroll back up and handed it to He Xuan.
He Xuan spoke quickly before Hua Cheng could, “There is a way to remove the stem of the flower that’s growing in your lungs, but because the roots connect to the heart you’ll forget your love for whenever it is. This means it will affect your memories so that you forget why you loved them.”
Hua Cheng shoved He Xuan after he spoke and then turned back to Yin Yu, “I won’t allow you to choose that option. Just tell whoever it is, you don’t want to forget.”
He Xuan left the room, seeming to understand that he wasn’t needed there anymore. “I expect my debt to be reduced for this.”
Hua Cheng only glared at him again but didn’t say anything. Yin Yu frowned and looked away not really wanting Hua Cheng to fight him on this. It would be better for them both if he were to forget, he knew Hua Cheng wouldn’t reciprocate anyways. He couldn’t tell him that though so he’d have to find his own way to get rid of the stem.
“I will tell them then, Chengzhu, but not yet, I need to think about it more first.” He stared down at the bed knowing that if he met Hua Cheng’s eye he’d know he was being lied to.
“Alright, you won’t be working until you do, and I’ll be waiting for you to recover, you’ll have work to do when you have.” With that Hua Cheng left, something felt wrong but Yin Yu had never lied to him before.
Yin Yi sighed once Hua Cheng was gone, there was no way to do this without him eventually finding out. He got up going to the table he kept in his room and getting out ink and some paper. He’d need some sort of explanation for himself and Hua Cheng about what had happened if he ended up coming back with his memories changed.
He started writing and figured he would just leave a note for Hua Cheng explaining that he had to forget him for both their sakes. He explained that he knew Hua Cheng couldn’t ever love him back and that he would be back soon after he figured out how to get rid of the stem. He left the paper on his bed before slipping out of his room and going down to the large library Hua Cheng kept.
The library was massive; it had to have something about how the stem could be removed somewhere. He picked out the section related to medicine and then began going through scrolls. He read through the first few sentences before he would put the scroll back if it was useless.
~•~
It took Yin Yu most of the day to find something related to the disease he had. He read through the scroll and discovered there was a healer who could remove the stem for him. She lived in the south and it would likely take him a long time to get there. That was unless he could get help.
The spiritual energy Hua Cheng would lend him was limited, he couldn’t make an array to get himself far enough. He pressed two fingers to his temple and mumbled an array password. He received an answer almost immediately.
Are you turning on Crimson Rain to ask for my help? Blackwater laughed into the array, clearly amused that he knew what Yin Yu wanted already.
I will not give you anything that could harm him in exchange for your help. He didn’t know what price He Xuan would want for his help.
He Xuan laughed again, I don’t want to harm Crimson Rain, besides you can’t offer me anything valuable anyways. It doesn’t matter though, I’ll help you. I’ll meet you in the library, assuming you’re already there.
Yin Yu looked around not knowing how He Xuan would know that, I am.
Good, I’ll be there soon. With that the array connection was severed and Yin Yu was left waiting in the library.
It didn’t take long for an array to appear on the door and He Xuan to step through. “I assume you want me to draw you an array to the healer who will remove it for you?”
Yin Yu bowed to him and nodded, “I would do it but I don’t have enough spiritual energy.”
He Xuan stared at him before turning to start drawing on door. “You don’t need to bow to me, I don’t care. I’m not here just for you. I’ll give you a head start but I’ll tell Hua Cheng you’ve left after a while. Or he’ll try and scatter my ashes if I don’t.”
Yin Yu nodded again, “Thank you Lord Blackwater.”
“Don’t thank me,” He Xuan turned around after the array began glowing and he pushed the door open. “Go, and go quickly, I will not give you long.”
Yin Yu bowed again despite being told not to and quickly went through the array. He was met with a small house, a woman was outside tending to a garden of flowers. It seemed familiar but he was sure he hadn’t been here before.
He walked closer unsure if the woman was who he was looking for. She turned around though and smiled at him, she set the small bucket she was using to water her flowers down and walked towards him.
“There’s only one reason people bother to come here anymore, I’m sure you’re no different. Come inside and tell me about who it is first. It’s never a good idea to remove before we’ve spoken.” She led him into the house and went to boil water.
He sat where she had pulled a chair out for him and watched her make tea. “People only come here because of the flowers?”
She nodded, “There was a time when they came for other issues, but it’s been long enough that no one knows I live here unless they research the disease.”
He nodded and declined when she offered him something to eat. “You want me to tell you about who it is that I love?”
She smiled at him and sat down across from him with a teapot and two cups. “I do, most people who come here haven’t truly decided what they want yet. I want to make sure you think you’re making the right choice.”
He nodded again and looked at the table, “I don’t have much of a choice, he’s been waiting for someone else. Even though I don’t want to forget I’m not sure there’s another way.”
She poured tea and set a cup in front of Yin Yu before she spoke again. “You know if you go through with it there will be no way for you to get these memories back, or the love you once felt.”
“I know, it’s better that way, I know I will still care for him even if I don’t love him.” He took a sip of the tea and then covered his mouth when he began to cough.
She gave him a sympathetic look before she sighed and stood up. “Then you’ve made up your mind. I can do the small procedure, it will take time to recover afterwards and you will likely be confused when you wake up. I will tell you what happened, it won’t change what’s happened to your memories but you’ll be less confused. You also don’t need to pay for it.”
He nodded and stood as well before bowing, “Thank you for helping me.”
~•~
Hua Cheng was sitting in the gamblers' den overlooking a game when He Xuan appeared by his side unannounced. “He’s left the manor and gone to get the stem removed.”
Hua Cheng stood up quickly grabbing He Xuan by the collar of his robes. “Did you help him leave?!”
“No, he made the choice on his own and found a scroll on how to get it removed in the library. There’s a note in his room, it’s for you.” He Xuan jerked free of the grip before backing up. “You should go now, it likely won’t make a difference but you should read it before you go find him.”
Hua Cheng let two dice roll to the floor and stepped through the array into the room Yin Yu stayed in. He walked to the bed and picked up the note that was set on it.
‘Hua Chengzhu, if you have this note there’s no use trying to find me, I’ve already had the stem removed. I wanted you to find this before I came back so that I could apologize. I would’ve told you that the person I loved was you but I know you can’t love me back. I don’t blame you and I never will, I understand that you already have someone you care about. Removing the stem was the best option so that I can continue to serve you. I hope you will not be too upset if I’ve forgotten certain moments that are important or if I can’t remember that I work for you. I hope you will hire me again when we next meet and that you won’t be upset with the decision I’ve made.’
Hua Cheng crushed the note in his hand before leaving for the library. He saw the array still on the door and activated it and stepped through. He was met with a small home where a woman waited outside. She looked upset but said nothing when she looked up at him, only smiled sadly.
“I’m sorry but you’re too late, he’s already forgotten.”