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The weak pre-dawn light was just barely filtering through the windows of Lucifer's bedroom when Alastor was startled awake. As had been the habit for the past weeks, when their relationship had finally reached the milestone of literally sleeping together (the metaphorical version would take much longer to get to), they'd both retired in the fallen angel's overly ornate bed the evening before. And as had become the sporadic habit, Lucifer had woken his partner up by being caught up in the throes of a terrible nightmare.
Alastor rolled his eyes, taking a brief moment to wonder how he'd managed to get to this point. How Lucifer had not only managed to become tolerable, but even likable. Then became something that the stag had learned to want, to desire, to covet, even if he'd never felt those feelings in this manner before. Romance. Before experiencing it, he would've sneered at the sheer concept. Did still, from time to time. But this upset little blond man next to him had brought chaos into his life and something slowly edging towards love into his heart.
But he only gave those thoughts the briefest of moments, because his protective instincts kicked in almost immediately. He sat up in the bed, before pulling the trembling blond into his newly created lap. One hand went to soothingly card through sweat soaked hair, while the other went to Lucifer's cheek.
“Darling,” he murmured into Lucifer's ear, “you're having another nightmare.” He lightly kissed his beloved on the forehead, since he knew by now it was the easiest way to wake him up without furthering the terrors that currently beset him. “Wake up, please,” he said a bit louder, combing his fingers at just the right spot to have a calming effect.
Lucifer gasped and opened his eyes, looking around wildly. But he didn't scream, so Alastor took that as great progress. The tears still flowed freely, so there was still a long way to go for both of them, but the demon knew the practice of patience well, after all these years. “It's okay, it's all right,” he purred, making shushing noises and using other trite but still soothing phrases.
“Al,” Lucifer cried out softly, before burying his head in the deer’s chest fur. The man had nothing short of an obsession with his animalistic body hair, and since he doted on him wholeheartedly, he'd learned rather quickly to go topless to bed. Even when not using it as a balm after a nightmare, he more often than not woke up to a content blond head on his chest. He smiled fondly as he pulled Lucifer in for a more secure hug. He could feel the tears soaking through his fur, and while his mind and body both screamed at him to maim and murder whoever had hurt this precious, shivering mess of a man in his arms, he could do nothing to fight the man's memories.
“I have you now, dear, everything will be okay,” Alastor said comfortingly. It had taken him a long time to be vulnerable enough to show this much care to someone, and even still only Lucifer got to see this side of him, but by now it was second nature. When the shuddering finally subsided, and the wet patch on his chest stopped growing larger, he put his hand back into the fluffy blond hair that resembled a duck when mussed by sleep like this. “Would you like to tell me about it?” He asked, knowing that it was pretty even odds for which answer he'd receive.
Lucifer pulled away from Alastor enough to look up at him. His eyes were red as well as his face, and he rubbed at them roughly before giving his partner a watery smile. “Thanks for this,” he muttered, before giving Alastor a second, much more temporary hug. Still sniffling a little, he returned his gaze to the demon's face. “It was the usual one,” he answered, letting the deer know that today the answer was yes. “It's stupid, really,” he stated self-deprecatingly.
“Hush,” Alastor snapped, putting his hand on Lucifer's chin. “We both know full well that it's not stupid to have a difficult past,” he lectured softly. “In fact, yours happens to be a bit more difficult than most. So memories will hurt from time to time.”
“I was falling, and my wings were burning, it was so hot and I felt like I was dying but knew I couldn't,” Lucifer sobbed out in one breath. Ahh, so it was the usual one. Sometimes, Lucifer would have dreams of when his wife betrayed him, or to a lesser extent when Charlie left to start her own independent life elsewhere, but mostly it was the Fall that would work the angel up this badly.
Alastor peppered a few light, sweet kisses across Lucifer's forehead and atop his head. “As awful as that was, darling, it's long past you now.” He maneuvered the slight blond around enough to kiss him gently on the lips. “Things have gotten a lot better for you since, haven't they?” They both knew the answer, of course, but his partner quite often needed the reminder thanks to his depression and anxiety.
Another new experience that was necessary to being in a relationship with Lucifer was learning about mental illness and how he could help, but as he did with everything, Alastor had taken his involvement seriously. He could only hope that he was doing a good enough job. The wobbly but stronger than before smile he got from his dear little angel helped his confidence immensely at that moment.
“Yeah, I know,” Lucifer said, finally finished sniffling. “I have Charlie back, and now you, and everybody here at the hotel. And I'm happy, I promise I am,” he said nervously, as if Alastor wouldn't believe him. A kiss to the forehead proved that incorrect, and the smile he gave the stag this time was full and completely genuine. “I'm so freaking happy, Al,” he said with a sigh, repositioning himself to cuddle his partner.
“I am, as well, darling,” Alastor responded, already feeling his eyelids drooping now that the emergency was over. He slid back down into a lounging position, Lucifer following, stifling a yawn. Alastor let out a chuckle before kissing him once again, softly on the lips.
They snuggled into each other, more than ready to go back to sleep for a few more hours. Just as Alastor was on the brink of unconsciousness, he heard Lucifer whisper, “I love you.” That admission pulled him back to full wakefulness faster than the nightmare had earlier.
“I'm not there yet,” he explained to a startled Lucifer, obvious that he hadn't expected Alastor to hear him. “But I'm getting closer,” he promised.
“Really?” Lucifer asked excitedly.
“Yes,” Alastor said simply. “Now go to sleep.” Any other time, this first time declaration would've earned more of a response, and the deer definitely planned to celebrate this new step when they woke up. But for now, sleep beckoned.
Lucifer gave his partner a borderline bone crushing hug, before settling back in for sleep, as tired as the deer he was currently clinging to. “I love you,” he said again, as if trying out the feel of the words.
Alastor chuckled softly, kissing his angel on the top of his head. Someday, he would be able to say the same. And from the feel of it, it would be someday soon. I will love you.