Chapter Text
Oscar didn't remember the day, when he started to sleep with his teammate Lando Norris.
Maybe it was in Australia, in the beginning of the year, when it was Oscar's home race and Lando's best friend Carlos Sainz won the GP.
They celebrated and got very very drunk. And at the end of the night, they both ended up in Lando's hotel room. Oscar had a bad hangover and felt dizzy so he couldn't remember anything.
Or maybe it was the day when Lando started to flirt with the younger one and teased him and Oscar liked it, but wouldn't admit it.
So yeah, Oscar couldn't remember but at some point, he slept with the Brit. And it was just sex. Just an experiment and he gave his teammate what he wanted.
With one rule: Just sex.
An easy rule, right?
It was easy to follow. Especially for Oscar, because he was definitely straight, at least romantically.
He was pulled from his thoughts with the vibration of his phone. It was Lando.
Lando: are you free tonight? or when is your flight back to the UK? ✓✓
They were in China because of the GP. The race was already over and they had a one week break before the next GP in Miami.
Oscar: no, i'm free. flying back on tuesday ✓✓
Lando: great! after dinner, my room ✓✓
Oscar: c u then ✓✓
Oscar was already looking forward to it. He needed it and now, after the stress of the race, it was the perfect timing.
But before that, he had to survive Max’s dinner. He won again in China and invited the whole grid team to a typically Chinese dinner.
Oscar loved Chinese food but he was so tired after the strenuous race. But he had no chance. Unwillingly, he changed his clothes into blue jeans and a white button shirt.
When he was finished and grabbed his phone, he left his hotel room and met his taxi in front of the hotel. In peaceful silence the vehicle drove through the streets of Shanghai. Oscar looked out of the window and saw the lights pass him.
After the car parked at a restaurant and Oscar got out, the loud noises of the night city reached his ears. He paid and thanked the driver and entered the restaurant.
The inside of the restaurant was small and fully empty besides a deep table with pillows around it on the floor. Various paintings hung on the walls and colorful curtains and bunches of lanterns hung from the ceiling. It was cozy and sweet.
Before Oscar could look around further, a blonde American came towards him and hugged him.
“Oscar, mate!” Logan, his best friend, greeted him.
“Logan!”
Immediately, Oscar smiled at the look of his best friend. He looked perfect, like always. Wore a black jeans and a black shirt with the top buttons open.
Behind Logan Oscar could see the rest of the grid. Lando stood next to Carlos, Charles and Max and he looked more than perfect, if that was even possible. He wore, like Logan, a black jeans and a black button shirt. But Logan looked perfect and Lando looked like a painting that you can look at forever without getting bored or a poem you read and read over again until it’s in music in your ears.
Oscar walked over to them and hugged Lando as a greeting.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Osc.”
Whenever Lando called him that, it drove him crazy. Without letting the blush on his cheeks show, he turned to Max to congratulate him. But how should he do this?
Max and him were never the best of friends, he was more than a colleague, an idol that he looked up to. So he just held out his hand.
“Congratulations, Max.”
“Thank you, Oscar.”
Max smiled happily.
Oscar rarely saw him smiling and being happy. But here, just in the company of his grid mates, without his father or anyone from the Red Bull team, he was very happy.
“When does the dinner start? I’m very hungry, Maxie,” Charles said with his French accent.
“Don’t call me that!” Max tried to look angry at Charles but failed, so all of them started to laugh.
“Let’s start the dinner!” Max said out loud, so the whole room heard it.
Everyone sat down on the pillows around the deep table and started grabbing something from the small plates of traditional Chinese food scattered all over the table and trying it.
Oscar loved it. It tasted so good that he immediately went for a second helping.
The only one who didn’t like it was Lando, because most of it was just fish and Lando hated fish.
Carlos, Landos’ best friend, sat next to him and tried to convince him to try some of the fish.
“Lando, it’s sushi time!” Carlos said with his Spanish accent and held chopsticks with sushi in Landos face. The Brit made gagging noises as if he was about to vomit.
Oscar just laughed about these adults who acted like children.
“But Lando, it has no fish this one, look.”
Carlos showed him another sushi but Lando just shook his head.
“It’s near a fish!”
Everyone just laughed about the best friends’ little childish argument and Carlos gave up.
Lando has hated fish since his childhood. It was one of the first facts about him that he had told Oscar. Probably when they first met.
“Is everything okay?” Logan asked next to Oscar.
He hadn’t realized that he was captured in his thoughts and stared into nowhere.
“Oh yeah, just tired after the race,” he said and felt Landos gaze on him.
“Same,” Charles said from the other side of the table. “Really wanted to catch Sergio but he was just too fast and so it was just P4 for me.”
“Come on, P4 is good! I was P8,” Oscar replied.
“Not for Ferrari,” Charles retorted. In other words, “Not for me.”
Oscar always admired Charles' ambition. He had respect for fulfilling his late father's dream, driving for Ferrari. And even though Ferrari destroyed the young Monaquesque, he kept going until he fulfilled his own dream.
“I was just scared of Lando behind my back. I mean, I really wish McLaren could finally win again, but not so dishonorably.” Max winked at Lando.
"Dishonourable? Come on, I drove not bad today. Almost P1 for me,” Lando replied to Max.
“Yeah, yeah. Looking forward to Miami, papaya boy,” Max teased.
“We will see, Maxie.” Lando winked and something in Oscars stomach crumbled.
It was not that he was afraid of Miami. But it was how Lando and Max interacted with each other. The teasing and the winks. He gripped his chopstick tighter and stared at his food.
The conversation about the race a few hours ago continued, everyone told how he was doing and what his best moments were. Only Oscar stayed quiet and tried to eat, but the grumbling feeling in his stomach had made him lose his appetite.
As he looked up after a while, Lando's eyes met his. His look said so much. Worry, concern, thoughtfulness, tiredness, desire and passion.
“I’ll go to the toilet.”, he said and stood up without taking his eyes off Oscar. And Oscar understood.
“I come with you.”, he mumbled and stood up as well.
Together they walked silently to the bathroom.
As they stood in the washroom, Lando took Oscar's hand in his.
“What’s wrong? You were so quiet out there.” The concern was evident in his British accent.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.” Oscar tried to smile but failed. He's always been bad when it comes to his feelings. Neither accepting it nor talking about it was very difficult for him. He just didn’t find the right words to describe the mess inside his head.
Lando understood that Oscar didn’t want to talk about it right now. “Okay, but if you wanna talk, I’m always there for you,” he said while brushing a strand of hair from Oscar's forehead.
“Lan,” Oscar whispered and brought a hand to Lando's face to stroke his soft cheek with his thumb.
“Osc,” Lando said and his soft lips met Oscar's. It was a sensitive kiss with more feelings than usual.
And so they just stood there, in a restaurant with all their grid mates, in the middle of Shanghai in a bathroom and kissed.
Lando grabbed Oscar's neck with his free hand and pulled him close to him down. A rush of euphoria ran through Oscar's body. While thousand thoughts were running through his head a minute ago, he was now completely empty. The feeling of Lando's lips finally turned off his head and he could enjoy the peaceful silence in his head.
Oscar moved his hand from Lando's cheek to his hair to play with his dark curls. He wanted the time to stand still.
Pleasurably, Lando moaned in the kiss. He wanted this moment to last forever. That he could kiss Oscar's lips forever, be there for him forever and hold him like this forever. He wanted to give him what he wanted and wanted to show him how much Lando he desired, how much Lando he wanted and how much Lando he loved.
Because for him it had long been more than just sex. Lando was in love with him.
“What the fuck!”
A voice made the two of them break apart.
Max stood in the doorframe and stared at them like he saw a ghost.
“Ehm…” Lando tried to say something but his throat was dry and he stared at his feet in embarrassment.
“Uh…it wasn't what it looked like...” Oscar tried it too but his logical thinking left him at the moment Max entered the bathroom.
“Yeah, sure. You both kissed," Max said and looked from Lando to Oscar and back again to Lando.
“It’s nothing, really. We just have this thing going on, but we are not in a relationship nor one of us is gay.” Oscar tried to explain but the embarrassment made it really hard to speak.
Max looked at Lando and something in his eyes blinked. “Lando?”
Lando looked up from his feet and looked him in his eyes. Immediately his face was red like a tomato. “Mhm?” he made with a high pitched voice.
“Out.”
Max ordered and pointed with a finger on the bathroom door behind him. Lando looked at Oscar, tried to smile and left the room.
Oscar and Max were alone and Oscar wanted to turn invisible or sink into the ground. Max just looked at him until he finally started to speak after an embarrassing eternity.
“He likes you.”
Oscar blinked in surprise. He expected a warning or that Max would shout at him angrily.
“W-who?” he asked, confused.
“Lando. He likes you more than a friend. Haven’t you seen his eyes? The fire for you that burns in them?”
Oscar chugged. He never thought about it because they had just one rule.
“That’s impossible. We have a rule,” he countered.
“No feelings while you do whatever you just did? How can he not develop feelings for you when you kiss? Look, I don't want to know what else you're up to and what you do more. But consider the consequences that follow. I'm telling you this and not Lando because it's already too late for Lando. But if you sleep together or even kiss, think about what if someone finds out like I did now? What if someone from McLaren finds out? Or worst of all a fan of yours and posts it?
Your career would be over. A path that you have been on for a long time, you have fought hard to ensure that you are now a Formula 1 driver. Others dream about it and you act like children and stand on the cliff about to fall off and ruin your career. Oscar, I mean no harm, I just want to protect you. End what is between you before you start to develop feelings, because from that point on there is no going back.”
Oscar thought about the things Max had said and nodded.
“Yes, sir.” he said and left the room. He went back to the table and sat down on the pillow next to Logan.
“This took long,” Logan said with a grin on his face. But Oscar was not in the mood for a joke. He wanted to go back to his hotel room, hide under the blanket in his bed and cry.
When Max came back the dinner continued. The boys talked about everything. Lando tried to meet Oscar's gaze, but Oscar avoided him. Logan was telling Oscar something, but he wasn't even listening. In general, he suddenly felt out of place.
As if he wasn't even there.
As if his body was a shell that sat there but couldn't be controlled by him.
As if he were a ghost and was looking at the whole situation from the outside.
The whole time Max's words were rattling through his head and he was looking for some point where he was wrong, but unfortunately Max was right. Oscar and Lando have sacrificed so much to be who they were today. So many people around Oscar sacrificed so much and gave him opportunities so he could fulfill his dream. He won't let someone as stupid as Lando ruin everything.