Work Text:
Mark stood in front of the glass doors of Dylan’s Candy Bar, looking like he was a small child entering Candy Land. Which, in truth, was pretty much accurate.
“Look at this!” he breathed as Howard chuckled and swung the doors open for the guys to enter the shop.
They were pretty much engulfed immediately into a scene straight out of Willy Wonka - every kind of chocolate and candy imaginable (except, Gary pointed out sadly, no evidence of Cadbury’s) along with every bright colour under the rainbow and a preponderance of pink.
To three of the boys, all having young daughters and all being lovers of sweets, this wasn’t an unusual environment to be in. To Jason it was pretty much on his list of things that would happen to him in hell, along with entering the Big Brother house or dating Kerry Katona.
“Please tell me that there is a health food shop attached to counteract all this sugar,” he moaned. “They have to have an option for the parents who don’t believe in shoveling refined sugar into growing bodies.”
The three others looked at him with more than a hint of being offended.
“Jay, have you picked up a dictionary recently in all of your book reading?” Gary groaned. “I think your picture is next to the definition of ‘party pooper.’
“That’s two words!” Jason said triumphantly. “No definition!”
“You do realize that you claim to want kids and to want all girls, so you are going to end up stuck with the girliest girls in existence, right?” Howard asked.
“I can take it,” Jason said. “My niece loves me.”
“All girls love you,” Mark said. “Why don’t you go pick out stuff to ship back to her? That will occupy you for awhile.”
Jay finally agreed and went into the apparel section to find a t-shirt for her, promising to also find stuff for Emily, Grace and Lola. The rest went back to the important task of finding as much sugar as they could.
“Look at these! Giant gummy snakes!” Mark crowed as he managed to shove two into his mouth at once.”
“Mate, you’re going to get us kicked out,” Gary warned, pointing to a sign that asked people not to eat candy in the store before purchase, then to an approaching sales clerk.
Luckily for Mark, the sales clerk turned out to be British and a bit of a Take That fangirl. After a couple of minutes of giggling and a dose of charm from Mark and Howard, she produced a big bag and said that the guys could fill it up with whatever they wanted and get it for free. And they didn’t even have to be photographed for it!
The thought of free candy induced Mark to literally kiss the blushing girl. However, it merely induced groaning from Jason.
“That’s all we need - massive sugar comas across the country,” he moaned.
They did all manage to find some really neat things that even Jason was impressed with. Like the 80’s candy collection that included stuff like Pop Rocks and Nerds. And a complete collection of Glee candy, which Howard noted that Jason lingered at and snuck a few candy bars of into the bag. And finally the candy cocktail bar.
“I’ll bet there’s not a gin and tonic to be found here,” Gary noted, looking at the brightly coloured, fruity concoctions on display.
“That’s something I’m completely able to deal with,” Jason said as he passed Howard a Pop-a-rita as he waited for his own Strawberry Nerds Mojito.
Finally the four of them left the store - Mark bouncing off the walls after successfully taste-testing every item in the bulk candy section, Howard and Jason more than slightly buzzed from multiple candy cocktails, and Gary wondering how in the world he once again got roped into being the father figure of the bunch.
“What now?” he said as they stepped onto the sidewalk.
“This might be a good time to visit FAO Schwartz and that giant piano you can dance on,” Mark giggled.
“DANCING!” Jason veritably squealed.
Gary just groaned.