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A black ribbon sits in Rui’s cupped hands, delicately tied into a bow despite its fraying edges. There’s nothing special about it on the surface- It’s just a ribbon. One he could pick up hundreds of from most clothing or craft stores in the city. But those wouldn’t be theirs.
He closes his hands around it carefully, holding it to his chest as if in prayer and shutting his eyes.
No god looks down upon him, but he doesn’t need one to. Instead, he thinks of a rooftop, of the winter sunset lighting short, pink hair with a soft golden hue.
In his mind, they smile, just as they had that afternoon. It doesn’t quite reach their eyes, remorseful for reasons Rui will never fully know.
“I’ve gotta go.” They say even as they hesitate at the door. Their gaze never leaves him, as if with enough effort, they may absorb him into their mind forever. Rui doesn’t doubt that they did “Good luck with the robot.” They chuckle, a strained, teasing lilt to their voice.
“Thanks.” Rui of the past nods, snapping himself out of his daze “Will you be in tomorrow?”
Mizuki is quiet for a little too long, what might be guilt flashing across their face for a fleeting instance “...Yeah, of course!” A bigger smile; One with too many teeth and not enough warmth, softening into something nothing more than tired “Just… Just promise you’ll keep trying, okay?”
“With the robot?” Rui says with a tone that will haunt him for the rest of his life because why didn’t he know-
“Yeah.” Mizuki’s expression morphs into something a little more sincere, sickeningly fond but far too tired for someone as young as they had been “Don’t give up on your dreams. The world is cruel, but I know you can do great things.”
They linger for only a moment longer before pulling open the door and stepping inside in one fluid motion “Bye, Rui. See you tomorrow!”
Rui can barely call out his own ‘goodbye’ before the door closes and he’s alone again.
It’s odd- Even in the moment, he had known it was odd. But it doesn’t quite dawn on him how odd it is until he spots the ribbon lying where Mizuki had been sitting only minutes prior.
They must have accidentally dropped it, he reasons even as his hands shake when he reaches over to pick it up. He stands up so fast it makes him lightheaded, but it doesn’t matter as he opens the door and calls their name down the stairs. No response. They’re probably halfway across the school by now.
Yet he searches anyway, ignoring how his heart pounds and his blood runs cold and how the school is practically empty apart from lingering club attendees and staff. If they were here, he’d know.
But the halls are empty and there’s no sign of pink hair anywhere near the front gate. Which is fine. He can return it tomorrow. They’ll be here, just as they said they would be. He’s just being paranoid.
Tomorrow comes no matter how tightly he holds onto the ribbon. No matter how many texts go unread and calls go straight to voicemail.
Mizuki doesn’t show up at school, and Rui already knows it’s far too late.
Even now, older than Mizuki ever knew him to be, he feels nauseous knowing that he watched them leave. That he should have done more.
It’s almost enough to make him want to give up- In fact, it had come very close a few times over the years. And while the grief has never truly left him, has never faded or withered, he’s learnt to hold it close to his chest and treasure what little time they had together.
They wanted him to keep moving forward, even if it feels wrong that he gets to leave the rooftop whilst their memory stays up there, forever frozen in a time Rui can never go back to.
Someday, he will return to them. He can recount every apology he’s whispered at their grave as if they were still there, watching over him.
But for now, Rui opens his eyes, slowly focusing back on the trees behind the stage.
“Rui?” He hears a voice call from around the corner- Tsukasa, he smiles softly to himself.
Steeling himself, Rui takes a deep breath, glancing down at the ribbon one last time before tucking it away in his pocket.
“Rui! There you are!” Tsukasa points at him, exasperated but rife with an underlying sense of relief “The show is about to start!”
“Of course.” Rui chuckles as he lets Tsukasa take hold of his arm and lead him back to where he’s supposed to be. The show must go on, after all. He just wishes Mizuki had been able to see it.