Work Text:
“Eomma! Appa! I’m home!”
“Agi, is that you?”
“Who else would it be?” Jungkook replies, chuckling as he drops his duffel bag by the door.
It’s a good thing, as he has his arms full of his mother in no time, when she comes rushing in from the kitchen to embrace her younger son. Jungkook would be lying if he said this moment didn’t feel like the most comforting thing in the world right now, being in his mother’s warm embrace, in their home in Busan.
After an honestly grueling couple of weeks in the military, Jungkook, along with the rest of his team, had finally earned a few days’ vacation. And the singer wanted nothing more than to come home to his family to remind him of that fleeting taste of normalcy.
“Are you okay? Have you been hurt anywhere?” his mother asks as she pulls away from their embrace. Her scrutinizing eyes roam his body from shaved head to booted toes, as if she’d be able to discern any sort of injury like that. Hell, she probably could with the kind of motherly instincts she had, Jungkook muses.
I’m fine, Eomma. Just a bit sore still from some of the drills. But trust me, it’s got nothing on the soreness after dance practice,” Jungkook reassures. “Where’s Appa?”
“Oh. He went out to run some errands, he should be home soon. Why don’t you get settled in before he gets here? How long is your break for again?” she asks as she makes her way back into the kitchen with Jungkook following closely behind.
“Four days. But I’ll only be here today and tomorrow. Wanna head back to Seoul to check in on Bam and Hyung. Plus check in on a couple of things as well, including how the house is coming along.”
“Oh.” Jungkook knows his mother is disappointed that she doesn’t get more time with her son. And he’s disappointed too. But unfortunately, there are certain things that has higher priority in his life these days.
And speaking of high priorities…
“Is Jiminie going to be with you? Or is he staying in Busan and being a good son?” Mama Jeon playfully chides as she gets back to chopping up some vegetables that were left on the cutting board.
Jungkook moves to the fridge to get something to drink. He smiles as he spots the banana milk his mother always has in case he drops by.
“Ha Ha,” he deadpans. “And yes, Jimin is going to Seoul too. He also has a couple things to take care of, there.”
“Speaking of that wonderful boyfriend of yours, didn’t he come with you? I thought for sure he’d come out for a bit just to say hi.”
Jungkook clears his throat before finishing the milk. “Yeah, he was in the car too. He just really wanted to see his parents. Besides, aren’t we all meeting up tonight to have dinner anyway? You’ll see him then,” the singer continues. It isn’t exactly the reason but his mom doesn’t need to know what’s really going on.
“I suppose,” she muses. “Anyway, go get settled in before your dad comes home. You two won’t probably stop chatting until we’re ready to leave.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Jungkook playfully salutes as he tosses the empty pack into the bin, kisses his mother on the cheek, and heads up to the spare room he designated as his own a few years back when his family moved. Nothing has changed; the furniture is still in place where they were set, his action figures still stand on the shelves he left them, and the artwork he had doodled when he felt that itch, are stuck to the walls in no particular order or design. The room itself is filled with the pleasant scent of freshy laundered sheets, telling Jungkook that his mother had recently replaced the bedspread in anticipation of him visiting.
It’s a far cry from the bunk beds and cold, militaristic scenery he has become familiar with the last couple of months. Before he knows it, Jungkook plants himself face-first across the bed, inhaling that comforting odour of home, and shuts his eyes.
The next thing the brunet knows is that he is being awakened by the buzzing of his phone. He stretches as he turns over to lay on his back, unlocking his phone as he does so. Wow! He slept for nearly three hours.
There are a lot of recent unread messages and missed calls but there is only one that interests him right now. He clicks on Jimin’s name and opens the messaging.
Jimin-ssi:
I’m home. Eomma says hi and that she can’t wait to see you later.
Says she has something for you but won’t tell me what it is.
Why are you conspiring with my mother?
Jungkook chuckles.
Just got up from a 3 hr nap. Feels sooooooooo good to sleep in an actual bed.
Hope you got some rest too before tonight.
We are not conspiring and I actually have no idea what she has for me.
Jungkook hesitates before typing in the next text.
How r u?
He sees that it was delivered but hasn’t been read. Jimin is probably with his dad at the café, or spending time with his brother. Jungkook doesn’t push more because he knows how Jimin can be but he knows that they need to talk before they head back to the base. He hears his dad call from downstairs so freshens up and goes down.
The family dinner with the Parks and Jeons goes as well as expected. They book a private area in one of their favourite restaurants in Busan, and since Jimin’s dad personally knows the owners, they’re able to have the meal in peace. It’s not the first time they’ve done this; it is a relatively regular occurrence whenever Jimin and Jungkook both visit their hometown together. Since they came out to their families, and confessed to being in a relationship with each other, it has brought everyone even closer together, more than they were before. And both families are fiercely protective over both boys.
Throughout the dinner, Jimin is like his usual self. He is forthcoming with all sorts of anecdotes of their experience thus far, blushing when everyone commends him on his exemplary performance. And of course, he smiles and giggles throughout the dinner. But Jungkook knows Jimin better than anyone else. In between the anecdotes, when others are speaking, he sees Jimin withdraw into himself. His usual beautiful eye-smile never quite reaches his eyes. And though he speaks about Jungkook to the others, he never truly speaks to Jungkook that evening, at least not to the extent that Jungkook is accustomed to.
And it follows much the same the following day. They both spend time alone with their families doing whatever, texting in between to check in with each other. But it never goes beyond that. Jungkook does try to videocall his boyfriend that night, but Jimin doesn’t pick up. Jimin voicecalls a few minutes later explaining that he was in the shower, and they converse like that. Jungkook wants to talk about whatever is going on, but again, he knows Jimin better than anyone, and he knows that this won’t work over the phone.
The following day, their car picks them both up and they drive back to Seoul.
“So what’s your plan for today? I’m going to see about the house first, then swing by Hyung’s to see him and Noona,” Jungkook explains. “I’m going to go see Bam next at the Center. Wanna come?”
“I do really want to see Bamie, but I don’t know if I’ll be done by that time. Why don’t you go ahead? I can always visit him on my own,” Jimin replies as he types away on his phone.
Jungkook’s tongue reflexively pokes at his cheek, a tell-tale sign that he is getting frustrated or at the very least, annoyed. He definitely did not picture his break with Jimin going this way.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything more on that.
“Are you staying over tonight?”
“Umm…I don’t know, maybe? I was going to go out with the guys, and I know you wanted to see your friends too. That may mean we both get in late so I don’t know if it makes sense. It’s probably better if we just stay at our own apartments.”
Jungkook scoffs. If he didn’t know Jimin was avoiding him before, he confirms it now. But he knows how their arguments go – they can both hold on to their anger for a while, and they don’t have that much time like they’re used to having to sort their squabble out. So Jungkook needs to be smart about this.
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Definitely! I love you.”
“Love you too.”
It’s a bit after eleven at night when the alarm dings, signaling that the door has been opened and someone is home.
Jungkook is seated comfortably on the couch playing video games in comfortable sweatpants and a T-shirt, when he glances Jimin walking though the hallway of his home, stopping dead, when he spots the younger.
“Kook-ah? What are you doing here? I thought we agreed to stay in our own apartments tonight,” Jimin addresses with a tinge of nervousness in his voice.
Jungkook pauses the game and carelessly tosses the controller on the couch then gets up and faces his boyfriend. “Well, you suggested it. I guess I had a change of heart,” he replies, heading to the kitchen for some water. He doesn’t need to see Jimin’s face to know the annoyed expression building there.
Predictably, the shorter follows him into the kitchen. “I don’t think this is a good idea. We know there are sasaengs all over the place, and the last thing we need right now is any sort of rumours getting out about our relationship. We’re both in the military, Jungkook. You should think for once. I thought this reckless, impulsive part of you was gone,” Jimin rambles. Jungkook can hear his words laced with anger and the undertone of another emotion Jimin clearly wants hidden.
“First of all, those sasaengs can go fuck themselves. I am never going to live my life based on what they can or can’t know. Secondly, I think you’re overthinking things, Jimin-ah. Trust me, I know very well the position we’re currently in. If I remember correctly, we had this same exact discussion multiple times the entirety of last year leading up to our enlistment. But right now, that’s not the point. I think I have a bigger worry on my hands to deal with.”
“Like what?” Jimin asks, his voice still terse as he locates a glass to pour some soju he had walked in with. “What could possibly be more important than making sure we’re not put into a position to be bullied or worse, when we get back to the base?”
“The fact that you’re avoiding me. And I need to know why, Min-ah.”
Jimin gives a light laugh. “I am not avoiding you, Jungkook. I am right here and you are right there, and we’re talking. How is that avoiding you?”
“Jimin, cut the bullshit. With the exception of the dinner, we didn’t see each other once in Busan. We didn’t spend time alone once, which, correct me if I’m wrong, was supposed to be the plan before we got here, right? Because we both agreed that while we are together right now in the military, we can’t really be together. And one way of dealing with that is when we get our vacation time, we set aside time for each other. We both agreed to this when we decided to sign up for the system. So I need to know why you suddenly don’t feel the need to spend time with me when we’re away from the base?”
Jungkook makes sure to keep his eyes focused on Jimin so that he knows he isn’t going to back down. He can see the thoughts flittering by as Jimin wars with himself as to how to respond. Does he continue to play dumb and deny everything? Does he confess and blow this argument up so that Jungkook has to leave? Does he say nothing, and walk away saying that he’s tired?
In the end, thankfully, by some grace, Jimin decides against all the other options. Well, mostly.
As he pours himself another glass of soju, the smaller says quietly, his back turned to Jungkook, “I still don’t think I was avoiding you. I was just doing what I wanted to do. I’m sorry if you feel that way.”
Jungkook takes in the situation and takes a calming breath before he lashes out at Jimin again. That isn’t productive and won’t get him to open up. So, he sighs and just does what comes naturally. He approaches he smaller and wraps his arms around him, attempting to pull him closer like he usually does. Only this time, he is taken aback when Jimin almost immediately shrugs off his embrace and worms his way out of it.
What the fuck?
“Ji-”
“I’m sticky from today. I’m going to take a shower first.”
With that, Jimin exits the kitchen for his bedroom, leaving Jungkook frozen and flabbergasted.
In the time Jimin takes to shower, which honestly is a lot longer than he usually does, Jungkook mulls over the possibilities of what could be going on with the smaller. Did something happen at the base that he isn’t aware of? Jungkook shudders to think that anything…inappropriate could have happened to Jimin. He doesn’t know what he would do if something did, and he wasn’t there to protect him – it’s one of the reasons they wanted to enlist together. He wanted and needed to be there with Jimin after seeing all the painful apprehension Jimin faced while thinking about their enlistment. So if that was the case, then Jimin needed to let him know.
The shower finally turns off and it’s about fifteen minutes before Jimin finally exits the adjoining bathroom, already having completed his skin routine, and in his black pajama bottoms and black t-shirt. He stills a bit when he spots Jungkook lounging on his side of the bed, but Jungkook doesn’t care. He is going nowhere tonight, and the slump in Jimin’s shoulders tell him that the smaller realizes too.
Jungkook doesn’t beat around the bush as his eyes follow Jimin to where he is grabbing his phone. “Did something happen at the base? Or while we were training out there? You know you can tell me anything right, baby? That’s what I’m here for,” Jungkook comments tentatively.
“I told you already, Jungkook-ah, nothing happened. Why do you insist something is wrong?” Jimin continues to deny.
“Okay, so we’re going to pretend that you didn’t pull away from me earlier? Jimin, you literally jumped out of my arms and behaved like you couldn’t get far away from me fast enough, how is that nothing?”
“I needed a shower, Jungkook. It’s not the first time I’ve playfully pushed you away when I stink.”
“Bullshit,” Jungkook blasts, getting off from the bed now and walking towards Jimin who is standing close to the walk-in closet.
“Whatever,” Jimin rolls his eyes and moves to go past the approaching Jungkook, who holds him back by his wrist.
Their eyes meet, and both see a building fire in the other. Then it strikes Jungkook. “Are-do you want to end this? Do you want to break up with me?”
“What?! No! Where in the world did you get that idea?!” Jimin responds almost immediately.
“Jimin, you’re giving me nothing here. There’s something wrong, I know there is. Don’t insult my intelligence and deny that. I know you better than you know yourself. So I know throughout our little vacation so far, you haven’t been yourself. I kinda sensed it the last few weeks too, but we don’t really get to interact sometimes so I didn’t know. But yesterday and today? Baby, please, this is going to drive me nuts if we don’t sort this out,” Jungkook pleads.
“There’s nothing to sort out, Jungkook-ah. I’m just not having the best of days. It’s not a crime. I just need some time to think by myself.”
“I understand that, but we promised to be there for each other, and share every time something is affecting us. I can’t let this go.”
“Well, you need to.”
“Why?”
“Because I just asked you to.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“Why are you being this nagging?”
“I’m just concerned because I lov-”
“If you loved me, you’d respect my wishes.”
“It’s because I love you that I’m pushing on this, Jimin-ah.”
“Then stop it because I don’t like it!”
“Jimin.”
“What?!”
“…Baby, why are you crying?”
Jimin seems taken aback as his breath hitches and his hand comes up to his face. He seems confused when, sure enough, tears land on his fingers. Jungkook doesn’t even think before he pulls the smaller into his, wrapping him into the tightest, and most comforting of hugs. Thankfully, Jimin doesn’t fight him this time. But his arms don’t go around Jungkook’s waist like it usually does either.
Jungkook can feel Jimin fighting his emotions until finally, the quiet tears turn into full on sobs.
They remain like that for some time while Jimin cries through whatever it is he is going through. Jungkook simply holds the other with as much love as he can, occasionally pressing short, soft reassuring kisses against any exposed skin his lips can find.
It is a few minutes before he feels Jimin’s breaths even out against his chest. Still keeping him embraced, Jungkook softly asks, “Min-ah, baby, you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s going on. Did someone say something? Did…did someone touch you?” Jungkook is cautious. If Jimin says yes now, he knows he’ll need to have the will of God not to absolutely lose it.
“No,” the smaller finally mumbles, his cheek still squished into Jungkook’s chest.
“Then what is it, baby?”
It is a while before Jungkook finally hears Jimin speak, albeit softly, almost imperceptible.
“I’m afraid.”
Afraid? “Of what?”
…
“That you won’t find me attractive anymore.”
An utterly confused Jungkook pulls back a bit so that he can look into Jimin’s eyes. The shorter unfortunately keeps his sad eyes downcast. “Jimin, what are you talking about? How in the world would I not find you attractive?”
Jimin scoffs slightly then musters the courage to look at Jungkook. “Why in the world would you? Have you looked at me lately? Like, really looked at me, Jungkook-ah? I don’t look like…me. I don’t look…”
Jungkook waits to hear the end to that, he really wants to know. But Jimin pulls away from him, heading to the bed and sits down. “You don’t look like what, Min-ah?”
“Like this, okay?!” The smaller juts out his phone in front of Jungkook’s face, his voice laced with so much emotion. Jungkook’s gaze leaves his face, the pain and hurt in his eyes, and travels down to the picture displayed on Jimin’s screen. It’s a picture, a selfie, they took together when they went to Sapporo. The cameras weren’t rolling then for their travel show; it was just the two of them in a very private moment amidst the trees and the freshly fallen white blanket of snow. Though the picture didn’t show it, Jimin was perched on Jungkook’s lap as he sat in the snow. Contrary to what the pic looked like, it wasn’t that cold outside, so they had removed their hats and scarves. Jungkook remembers in that moment, just soaking it all in, especially Jimin – his blond hair, his cute nose and chubby cheeks reddening with the cold. His beautiful lips, pursed and pouty while looking at the scenery, and his eyes…his heart-stopping gaze sparkling with happiness at the wonder around him. The artist in Jungkook could do nothing else in that moment except take out his phone to capture to moment.
“Hey! What are you doing?”
“Nothing. Just taking a pic of my gorgeous boyfriend. Got a problem with that?”
Jimin giggled. “Definitely. See, I need my hot boyfriend to be in it with me. Come on, let’s take a selfie!”
Jungkook stretched out his hand with the phone pointed at them. Jimin leaned back further into him, getting more snug. And just as he snapped the photo, and because there was an inescapable instinct telling him to do it, Jungkook leaned down and whispered into his ear, “I love you, Jimin-ah,” before pecking his blushing cheek.
It was that precise moment, with Jimin’s eye-smile as bight as a supernova, that stares back at Jungkook now. As mundane as it seems, it was a truly beautiful and special moment for both of them…which is why Jungkook doesn’t understand why Jimin is showing him this picture.
"What am I looking at, Jimin? That pic of us is beautiful, you’re beautiful in it, you’re beautiful now, sitting in front of me.”
“No, I’m not!” the smaller emotes.
Jungkook is frozen. And perhaps it’s a good thing because it seemingly gives Jimin the courage he needs to explain himself.
“This photo is the me you find beautiful and attractive, Jungkook. The Jimin who is soft, and pretty, and sexy, and who has fucking hair! And I am not…that, anymore,” the smaller lashes out. “Instead, I’m this!”
Jungkook shakes himself enough out of the momentary stupor to look at what Jimin is referring to as ‘this’. Sure, he doesn’t look now like how he did in the picture. His face is a bit more filled due to them having to consume three square meals a day; his body is bigger because of this too, more muscular, though still smaller than Jungkook; his hair is natural black and cropped low still; and true, he doesn’t exactly look like what people would describe as ‘soft or pretty’, but Jimin is still every bit gorgeous and handsome and sexy in Jungkook’s eyes.
At the same time, however, it clicks. Jungkook realizes what this is.
Jimin continues, “I don’t like how I look. It doesn’t look or feel like me. I hate it. Even before enlistment, this is what I was afraid of, you know that. It’s why I waited until the last second, until it had to be done. Because it was something we had to do.” Jungkook can only listen as Jimin composes himself and continues, though in a much smaller voice, “I…don’t want you to not see me as attractive anymore, to…lose interest in me. And I’m afraid that’s what’s going to happen if we, you know, get close. You’re going to realize that this isn’t what you wanted all along.”
Jungkook looks on as Jimin curls into himself, legs bent and resting on the edge of the bed, coming up to meet his forehead as it and his arms rest there.
So this is what has been eating away at him. Jungkook begins to process everything now and knowing Jimin, he understands where this is coming from. Does he agree? Fuck, no. But he understands. For years, especially around the time they debuted, Jimin struggled with his image and self-esteem. The muscleman image the company gave to him never quite comfortably fit him, he was always trying so hard to fit that ill-fitting mold. He also never quite believed he lived up to the beauty standard in the group, and measured himself by Jungkook, Taehyung and Jin, even though they all always tried to kill those assumptions of his. And, well, if he’s honest with himself, Jungkook didn’t exactly help the situation whenever he jokingly put Jimin last in those stupid fucking rankings they used to make him do. So, needless to say, it took years for Jimin to finally come into his own, and not only be happy with his physical appearance, but accept everyone’s words, especially Jungkook’s, that he was indeed not only beautiful, but ethereally stunning.
And perhaps, maybe those monikers have contributed to how he feels about how he looks now. Because ethereal would not be the word to describe his beauty.
Jungkook knows though, this is a double-edged sword – it is both about Jimin’s self-esteem and how he views himself, and also about how he sees himself through Jungkook’s eyes.
He makes his way towards Jimin and bends his knees until he is at eye level with the smaller. He then gently moves Jimin’s arms until he has enough room to place his hand and raise is chin so that Jimin can look at him. The smaller eventually does, tears threatening to fall again.
It honestly breaks Jungkook’s heart.
“Jimin-ah, do you have any idea just how much I love you? Because I think you sometimes forget. And I think you sometimes forget how you looked when I fell in love with you,” Jungkook begins.
“No, I don’t. And that’s the thing, isn’t it? You may have started liking me whenever, but you only really cemented that feeling and became more attracted to me after I dyed my hair orange, and started to look less…rough and tough,” Jimin opposes. “And I know you love me, Kook, I don’t doubt that. But people who are in love eventually fall out of it because they’re not physically attracted to their partners anymore. And I don’t want that to happen to us. Maybe it was a mistake enlisting together after all.”
“Jimin, what in the world are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now, baby? Need I remind you why we told the company we needed to apply for the buddy system? It was because we were staring down at eighteen fucking months of not being able to see each other properly. I was going stir-crazy when we were both separated during our album promotions. I would have gone insane if we didn’t get through with the application. And I don’t even want to think about where my mind would have gone to if we were in different bases, knowing how scared you were after you’d spoken to Taemin-hyung about his experience. So don’t even think for one second that this was a mistake.,” Jungkook gently chastises.
“And going back to what you said before that, Jimin, you and I both know that isn’t true at all. The only reason I didn’t act on my feelings until I did was because I was struggling with all those thoughts, and what I’d grown up believing. Plus, I saw you fucking faint in front of my eyes and got scared that something would happen and you would never have known how I felt. So, it’s really unfair for you to throw that moment into your little argument,” Jungkook corrects. He can see the mild look of guilt blossom on Jimin’s countenance but he knows he needs to fully drive away those toxic thoughts, so he continues. “And let’s entertain your theory for a minute, alright? Did you objectively look more attractive around the time you dyed your hair? Yeah, sure. But not because you changed hair colour and wore just a little bit more makeup. It was because you were finally getting more comfortable in your own skin, expressing who you really were, and not putting on a mask of someone you needed to pretend to be. And that is what made me fall even more, you being more yourself was what was attractive to me. And guess what? In my eyes, right now, sitting in front of me, you’re still yourself. So how can you possibly be less attractive, huh?”
Jungkook is on both his knees now, and takes Jimin’s small face in his palms, gently caressing his cheeks. “Jimin-ssi, when I look at you, I don’t see the hair, or the soft features, or the body. I see you, the person, someone who is humble and kind and giving and patient and funny and so damn full of life, it makes me wonder what in the world I did to deserve someone like you. When you shaved your hair, you didn’t lose any of that. And that’s what I’m attracted to, that is who I am in love with. Please believe me,” Jungkook pleads.
Jimin finally, truly makes eye contact with him. Jungkook can see the swirling thoughts and emotions within those depthless orbs. He knows that Jimin is fighting against himself, his instinct to put himself down. It is almost tangible, the struggle he sees in Jimin to accept his words, believe them, and put this past them. But though Jungkook’s heart is palpitating at an almost inhuman rate, he doesn’t dare break eye contact with the smaller. He knows that Jimin needs to see his resolve, determination and belief in what he said.
It takes a few minutes, what feels like an eternity, before Jimin lets out a loud sigh, and his shoulders drop. “I’m sorry. Sorry that I let my doubts in us, in you, surface again, Kook-ah. I hate that no matter how much I try, they always seem to still be there, and I know I’m not being fair to you. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, there’s nothing to feel sorry for, alright?” Jungkook quickly replies. He instantly moves from where he is kneeling and gets up on the bed next to Jimin, pulling the other into his arms. Thankfully Jimin doesn’t fight him, as his arms wrap tightly around Jungkook’s waist and he perches his head in the crook of the taller’s neck.
“That’s what relationships are about, babe. We’re there for each other, to make the good times together, and to support each other through the not so good ones. And right now, you’re going through a not so good one, so I’ll be right here to help you like all the other times.” Jungkook feels Jimin wrap his arms even tighter around him, showing the younger that Jimin is seeking comfort in him. He gladly gives it, gently rubbing his back, kissing his temple, and softly murmuring some words of affirmation for a few minutes.
They both remain like that for a time, letting the silence quell the heightened emotions and dissolve the toxic thoughts.
“I think I wanna see Dr. Cho tomorrow for a session before we head back to the base,” Jimin interrupts softly.
Dr. Cho is the company therapist, and someone Jimin has built a solid trust with. Jungkook is relieved to hear this.
“That’s great, sweetheart. I’m sure she’ll fit you in. In fact, I’ll go make the appointment now,” Jungkook says.
Jimin doesn’t argue or make any move when Jungkook pulls away to go get his phone on the other side of the nightstand. He knows it’s late and unprofessional in every sense, but Jimin’s mental health always comes first, and Dr. Cho on more than one occasion, had let the boys know that they can send her a message if it was really important, she didn’t mind.
And this is important.
Thankfully, she picks up, explaining that she was still up with some work, and has no problem fitting Jimin in for an early morning session.
When he’s done, Jungkook joins Jimin, who is now lying down. He pulls them both under the covers, and then pulls Jimin into him as they snuggle, with Jimin resting his head on Jungkook’s chest. His small fingers begin tracing indiscernible patterns on the younger’s tee shirt.
“Thank you,” Jimin says quietly, pressing a kiss on Jungkook’s chest. “I know I’m a lot to deal with sometimes, so thank you for always being there for me. Even when we weren’t together, you were always there for me,” Jimin confesses. He looks up at Jungkook then. “I love you so much, you have no idea. Even when I think we’ve been together for so long and the love might plateau or something, I somehow just love you even more every single day.”
Before he too begins crying, Jungkook bends and meets Jimin in a slow, emotionally charged kiss, making sure to pour every ounce of love he has for Jimin into it. It’s their first time kissing in a good minute, so Jungkook feels like a thirsty man sipping water for the first time as his lips feel Jimin’s. He can feel when Jimin surrenders just a bit more of his apprehension, as the smaller intensifies their kiss, darting his wicked tongue out just a fraction, tasting Jungkook’s starved lips. He is the one to put more pressure against Jungkook’s mouth, asking for permission. The taller doesn’t hesitate as he opens his mouth, allowing Jimin all the access he wants. It’s honestly a relief, knowing the thoughts that were running through Jimin’s head just a few minutes ago.
Jungkook gets just a bit carried away as he hears Jimin’s soft moans, and pulls the other up until he is straddling him. The taller’s hands caress down his boyfriend’s toned body, eventually finding purchase on Jimin’s ass, finally able to touch to his heart’s content. It so isn’t the most appropriate time to voice how much of a torture it has been these past few months to see Jimin every day, and not be able to hold and feel him, the way Jungkook is used to. So, it’s no wonder the brunet takes full fucking advantage in this moment. With a gentle squeeze, Jimin’s moans grow louder, and he undulates so fucking erotically, Jungkook feels himself immediately begin to harden.
But as borderline painful as it may be, Jungkook doesn’t push further. He knows that, despite his body’s natural intimate response to what they’re doing, Jimin isn’t there mentally right now, and the last thing he wants to do is push him. So, he keeps his hands where they are, holding back from where he really wants them to go, but makes sure that Jimin is the one to eventually subside their makeout session, which he does with a couple final sweet smooches on Jungkook’s lips.
Will it make things just a bit more difficult when they get back to the base? Definitely. Any red-blooded person would have a challenge if he is around his significant other every day and not be able to do anything remotely touchy-feely. But Jungkook guesses they have no choice. It’s still much better than spending an entire eighteen months apart, wondering if the other is safe and being treated fairly.
Jimin finally manages to fall asleep as Jungkook gently rubs his back like he always does when Jimin is fitful before sleep. His own thoughts are still whirring, so he doesn’t quite follow Jimin into dreamland just yet. He takes the opportunity to stare at his boyfriend. To think, Jimin made himself believe that he wouldn’t find him attractive because of a haircut? It’s insane. Since the moment Jungkook realized what he felt for Park Jimin all those years ago, his eyes, his mind and his heart have never once wavered or strayed. In the tempting sea of the boundless beauty of idols, models, and actors, that he has been constantly surrounded by in this industry, Jungkook has never for a minute questioned whether he could have done better than Park Jimin, whether it would have been easier to just be with someone else. Because the simple truth is, Park Jimin is it for him; has always been, and will always be. It’s their fate.
Serendipity.
And now that Jungkook knows where Jimin’s head is at, he is going to do what he has always done – get Jimin back to the point where there is no doubt or question in his mind about them being together. Seeing Dr. Cho tomorrow with Jimin is the first step.
As he holds his love in his arms just a little tighter, Jungkook knows they’ve still got an arduous road to continue to navigate. But he also knows that as long as they have each other, and that they know they have each other, they’ll be able to pull through anything, and be better on the other side.
So, in the stillness and quiet serenity of the moment, Jungkook whispers softly, words to the love of his life, hoping that they will soak into his consciousness forever.
“You’re perfect. You’ll always be perfect to me. I love you, Jimin.”