Chapter Text
“Okay Megumi get in the suitcase” gojo said w a grin
“But I don't wanna” megumi complained
"You sure this is a good idea, like couldn't he suffocate satoru?"
Geto asked w a raised eyebrow
“He’ll be fine, I'll put as box of air in there w him”
Megumi runs over to his room, and opens the closet to see Itadori sleeping-he secretly lives in there- and shoves him in the luggage bag.
While Gojo and Geto are still packing, Gojo interrupts the silence with a question.
"Hey Suguru," he says, questionably confident. "Where's my hot pink fuzzy 19 inch dildo??🤪”
“Your dresser, like it always is..??? 😕”
"Can you get it for me 🥺🥺🥺"
“Ig,,,," he reaches for it. "..satoru why is it slimy😀”
"You know why."
–
Fast forward to when their about to put their luggage in the x-ray thing,
"Papers Please"
Justin bieber asked the gays.
"Here."
Suguru hands him the passport.
"Where's his?"
"Where's your passport Satoru?"
"I don't know, I can't find it"
"You dumbass."
He hears muffled screams of two teenagers in his luggage,
"CHECK WHERE UR HOT PINK FUZZY DILDO IS"
"Satoru…you are something else."
“Do you have someone in your suitcase😱😱😱??”
“Nope.☺️”
Satoru and Suguru both happily smile, kicking the suitcase.
“okay.”
Satoru checks his bag for his hot pink fuzzy dildo, and his passport is stuck to it,
"Here you go.😚"
There's a mother behind them, with her son Kuni, covering his eyes from the terror of the hot pink fuzzy dildo.
"Satoru, you could've saved us this embarrassment,,, but no."
Justin picks it up, the warmth and sliminess to the touch was petrifying, but Justin had to do it to feed his 69 children that he had with kaeya alberich (FROM THE HIT GAME GENSHIN IMPACT AVAILABLE ON PC, PLAYSTATION, AND MOBILE DEVICES) in his basement.
"It's all good to go sir..😵💫"
"Thanks."
Geto slapped Gojo across the face with the hot pink fuzzy 19 inch dildo.
"You dumbass, but I love you.<33"
Muffled gagging noises come from the suitcase.
They hear muffled screaming
"HOLY FUCKUNG SHIT MEGUMI THREW UP ON ME,,,,, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
"ITADORI ARE YOU IN THERE????!!!"
GOJO SCREAMS
"OH SHIT MEGUMI UR DADS CAUGHT US"
"HES NOT MY FUCKING DAD!!"
Megumi punches itadori in the face and stomach, and he throws up on him too.
"WHAT THE FUCK."
"YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELVES"
Geto kicks the suitcase a final time and it goes silent.
Mitski witnesses the whole thing and x-rays the suitcases, and sings my love, mine all mine to cope.
They go along their merry way, and go to their gate, and sit.
"HEY HEY SUGURU??!!!"
"Why tf are you being so loud shush"
He covers his mouth, as he muffled
"Did you know this one time, i had to neuter a guy cuz his cat bit his dick off and the world almsotr ended cuz some guy named matthew was taking revenge cuz mt boss threw a wheel chair at his dog.”
“That's a nice story.”
“Oh and this one time i was watching this sad show about gays and this one gay broke up w his boyfriend in front of kfc and commited mass genocide!! And he was also lowkey racisr cuz he caslled everyone monkeys,,, but he was hot”
“That sounds familiar.🤨”
“Ikr,,,,😔😔”
(guys he totally talking abt the show in this chapter trust)
They board the plane as each name is called by Lyney (FROM THE HIT GAME GENSHIN IMPACT AVAILABLE ON PC, PLAYSTATION, AND MOBILE DEVICES)
"Hange!, Armin!, Itto!, Kuni!, Nanami!, Ei, Tighnari,! Collei,! Cyno,! Eren! Mei Mei! Mahito! Neuvillette! Wriothesley! Bakugo! Dottore! Tanjiro! Nezuko! Johnny! Gyro! Funny Valentine! Josh! Random olive garden worker! Harry Styles,! Ricky Montgomery! Dazai! Troy Bolton! Geto! Gojo!...."
Lyney stutters "Gojos hot pink fuzzy 19 inch dildo….😦?”
"Yup that's mine, twink. ;) "
Lyney gets angy and reaches for an arrow from his quiver but his sister stops him.
"Lyney, don't do it, you know it's true." Lynette assures him.
"Ur right 😔💔💔"
He Heartbrocken whispered.
As they enter through the gate, Gojo n Geto hear muffled curse words coming from the luggage.
"DAD WHY THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU BUY UR DILDO A PLANE TICKEY BUT NOT ME???!!!"
"YOU SAID HE WASNT UR DAD????"
"KYSSS."
"Hey, hey, hey! That's taking it a bit far." geto exclaimed 🥺
"KYS TOO BITCH"
"HEY!" Gojo kicked the suitcase. "YOU MFING WHORE STFU"
“SAYS UR BITCH ASS”
“HEY” Geto kicked the suitcase. "NEVER SAY THAT TO MY WHORE AGAIN."
A few hours later…
As the rest of the passengers are chatting along, or sleeping, or…..making out Joseph comes out to make an announcement.
“cough cough,, uh so it seems like we're having some technical difficulties, so you might experience some turbulence. 🤠”
Gojo looks out the plane window, and sees the planes wing is lit on fire 😨😨😱😱😱.
"GETO HOLY SHIT THERE'S FIREWORKS 🥹❤️"
“MY FUCKING GOD DUMBASS THATS NOT FIREWORKS THATS FIRE”
"HOLY SHIT, GETO HOLD ONTO ME WE GOING DOWN!! WE YELLING TIMBER, U BETTER MOVEE U BETTER DANCE"
“SHUT THE FUCK UP HOE WE COULD DIE”
“Yayy” you hear dazai say in the background
Everyone starts panicking, screaming, crying..
"Yooo wtf is happening😪"
"Bro idfk😀"
"We're crashing, uh-"
Geto broke to the teens.
"HOLY SHIT OMG MEGUMI RUN"
“HOW TF ARE WE GONNA RUN BITCH WERE IN A SUITCASE??” –M
"GET US OUT GOJO" –I
"I'M TOO BUSY TRYING TO FIND MY HOT PINK FUZZY 19 INCH DILDO RN STFU"
"U CARE MORE ABOUT THAT THING THAN ME DAD??????" –M
"YESSIR"
"MORE THAN GETO???"
"uhh…no???"
"MOTHERFUCKER IS HESITATING.." -Geto
They hear a creak and a bang,,, the other wing has fallen off, as they hear attention over the speaker.
"We are going to crash.."