Work Text:
Waves crashed against the rocks near the beach we were at. The sun was setting across the horizon. Together we sat on a checkered blanket laid upon the warm sand, far from the eyes of gossiping mothers. It was August and we still had time before returning back to London. The late summer air clung to me like a baby’s sticky fingers grasping its mother.
“Why don’t we go for a swim?” Cressida turned to me.
“You know I can’t swim,” I replied.
“We could paddle our feet? Or how about a walk to the top of the cliff to see the view? I bet it’s gorgeous!”
“A walk would be nice actually, we can come back for the picnic stuff.”
She stood up and held her hand out for me. I took it and pulled myself up. Our fingers interlaced, her affection rushing through me. We stood for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. Her smile warm like summer, but eyes of autumn; golden brown. Then she turned and led me up the stone steps carved into the cliff.
The coast was silent except for the lapping of the waves and the patter of our footsteps. Tranquility surrounded the beach. It was easier to read here than in London, too many people there and balls. The month I had spent with Cressida was already much more enjoyable than any time spent attending balls with rude men and people who cared about marriage only. At least my mother wanted me to find a love match, but would she accept who I love?
We walked up for what felt like forever, until Cressida finally stopped at the top. She looked back at me. Her innocent gaze held me in a cocoon; Nobody made me feel safer. The grass invited us to sit within the flowers. I caught Cressida staring at my face. Her cheeks blossomed as she noticed me. In return, I studied her face. Perfect face structure and rosy lips.
“I want to tell you something,” I said. Gently, I placed my hand on her cheek.
“Go on.”
“I’m in love with you.”
She stared at me for a moment. I leant in and kissed her. At first, we stayed like that, until I was suddenly pushed away. Cressida stumbled closer to the cliff’s edge.
“Oh Eloise, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this,” She cried desperately.
“Hey, what do you mean? Why don’t you come over here and we can talk,” I reassured her.
“You don’t understand. I’m the only child of my parents. I have to marry a man with a good title, have children, and bring honour to my family. I can’t do that with you. And I can’t bear knowing you are so close yet so far. Just my friend and nothing more. My heart beats for you and only you, Eloise.”
I stood up and shifted closer to her. Slowly, my arm reached out, offering her a way back from the edge. She grabbed it, and pulled me in. She kissed me. Passionately. I had never felt love so real.
Abruptly, she stopped. She gazed into my eyes as if it were the last time she would ever see them again. Spinning me around, she whispered under her breath, “I’m sorry, my love.”
She then pushed me. Almost instantly, my body tensed up, knowing there was nothing I could do. I trusted her, but she threw it all away, she threw me away. Regret and shame was all I could feel. I was falling. She knew I couldn’t swim. This was her plan all along. Push me into the dark, endless depths of the ocean to never be seen again.
I hit the water, flailing my arms about. Nothing stopped me from sinking, slowly, descending, deep, deep, down. Disappearing forever. Now I know what it feels like to have no prospects in life.