Work Text:
Lucifer squinted at the instruction manual for what felt like the thousandth time, his eyes aching and his vision blurry.
“I think G12 is supposed to attach to H3,” he said, only feeling somewhat confident in his assumption.
“That doesn’t make a lick of sense. Why in the world would a G attach to an H, and a 12 to a 3?” Alastor asked, throwing his hands up in exacerbation.
The Radio Demon was looking a little worse for wear - his jacket and waistcoat had long ago been discarded, and now hung haphazardly over an armchair. His sleeves were rolled messily to his elbows, revealing dark, scarred skin. His hair and ears were in complete disarray after running his hands through them in frustration over a dozen times in less than an hour.
Lucifer knew he looked no better. He had thrown his hat and jacket on top of Alastor’s clothes, and about fifteen minutes ago had incinerated his waistcoat off of his own body in annoyance when it had gotten a tad too constricting. He now sat criss-cross applesauce on the floor, his tail thumping against the ground in aggravation behind him.
“How the hell am I supposed to know? I speak every language known to man, plus some not known to man, and I’m telling you, this fucking book is not written in any dialect I’ve ever heard of.”
“Give it here,” Alastor demanded, snatching the instruction manual from Lucifer’s hands. The king grumbled but allowed the sinner to take a look, smiling to himself when Alastor squinted at the thing like an old man trying to figure out his smartphone.
“Need some glasses there, old fellow?” he teased.
Alastor’s eyes met Lucifer’s above the manual, annoyance flashing through his vermilion gaze. “My monocle serves me perfectly well, thank you. And you’re literally several millennia older than I am, so I wouldn’t get too cocky.”
“Uh huh. Have you figured out what G12 attaches to yet?”
The demon sighed in frustration and threw the manual back at Lucifer, who fumbled with it before ultimately dropping it to the floor. Look, he was tired, okay? His usually perfect reflexes were not at their best after working on the stupid curio cabinet for what had amounted to nearly four hours.
The blasted thing was intended to be for Charlie, who had been complaining recently that she had nowhere to display the little pieces of art and other bits and bobs the residents made during the Hazbin’s weekly craft nights. She had selected a pretty one online and ordered it, and when it arrived she and Vaggie had set about trying to put it together. It quickly became clear that neither of them were particularly well-equipped at building the overly complicated shelf.
Throughout the day the other residents had all taken their turns at having a crack at it, but no one could seem to figure out the instructions, or even take a guess at which piece went where. The only person who had made any significant progress had been Husk, who had managed to piece together a grand total of four sections of wood before giving up and retreating back to the bar.
Alastor and Lucifer had returned from their dinner date just as Charlie was about to toss the panels of wood and glass through the window, her eyes glowing red and her horns curling up over her hair in anger.
Alastor had quickly intervened and suggested that he and Lucifer give it a try, escorting Charlie from the room before any real damage was done. Now here they were, four hours later, surrounded by wood and glass and those tiny, insufferable screws that there never seemed to be enough of, having made very little progress of their own.
It had taken all of five minutes for Lucifer to suggest using magic, but some dark force must have been at work in the HELLKEA store because no amount of angelic grace or eldritch voodoo that they used touched the damnable thing. Even Alastor’s shadowy tentacles would bounce away whenever they got close, as if there was some sort of invisible, anti-magic force field surrounding each piece of the innocuous, baby blue curio.
Lucifer abandoned the manual and crawled across the floor, examining pieces and touching them together, feeling much like a toddler with a set of building blocks. Fuck the instructions, he would figure this out on his own, so help him.
“I really don’t think that’s going to work, dear,” Alastor said from behind him, exhaustion lacing his tone.
“Shhh,” Lucifer hushed. “I had a hand in the creation of the goddamn stars. This cabinet will not get the better of me.”
Yeah… well.
Twenty minutes later he sat slumped in defeat between Alastor’s legs, his temple propped against the demon’s knee and his back against the chair in which Alastor sat, both of them staring at the mess scattered around the hotel’s lobby. It was nearing one in the morning, and Lucifer was about to call it quits, ready and willing to face the humiliation of knowing that he had been defeated by a glorified bookcase.
Suddenly, there came the sound of teeny tiny feet pattering across the lobby. Lucifer and Alastor both looked up in time to watch Niffty approach, her eye alight with curiosity as she took in the bits of curio cabinet scattered across the floor. She knelt, picking up a piece of wood and examining it intently.
“Hey, Nifft, I don’t think-” Lucifer started, but was silenced when Alastor put a hand on his head.
They watched as the little cyclops looked up from the block in her hand, scanning the scattered fragments on the floor. She scurried forward and selected another piece seemingly at random, then used the screwdriver and one of the small screws to attach the two pieces.
At first it looked like she was simply shoving random parts together, but after a few minutes an actual shape began to appear.
“Holy cheeseballs,” Lucifer whispered, his eyes wide. “She’s actually doing it.”
“Indeed,” Alastor whispered back, sounding equally impressed.
It only took Niffty a total of twenty-seven minutes to do what every other resident in the hotel could not. When she was finished she stood back and looked over at Lucifer and Alastor, her expression expectant.
Alastor slowly got up from the chair and made his way over, glancing back at Lucifer with his brow raised. The king shrugged, watching as the sinner oh-so-carefully tipped the cabinet upwards from where it had been laying on the floor, handling it as if it were a live grenade rather than a piece of furniture.
Once it was upright he stepped back quickly, as if his continued presence would cause all of Niffty’s hard work to suddenly come tumbling down. Lucifer got to his feet, moving to stand next to his lover.
The three of them stood staring at the cabinet like children in a Hallmark movie would stare at the Rockefeller Centre Christmas tree, their awed silence weighing heavily in the room.
“How did you do that?” Lucifer asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“Do what, bad boy?” Niffty replied, turning to blink up at Lucifer questioningly.
“The cabinet. How did you put it together?”
Niffty simply stared at him, her expression blank. Lucifer’s brow furrowed, confusion taking hold. Before he could ask if the little sinner was feeling alright, Alastor laid a hand on his shoulder.
“I think it’s high time for bed, Niffty dear, wouldn’t you agree?”
Niffty blinked, her expression clearing. “Oh, yes. My pets are waiting for me.”
With that she skipped off towards the stairs, not looking back.
“What just happened?” Lucifer whispered under his breath, completely bewildered.
“That’s just Niffty. An absolute doll, to be sure, but she does have her moments,” Alastor hummed, something like pride lacing his tone. “I doubt she will even remember this come morning. She usually does not, when she gets it into her mind to go for a midnight stroll.”
“Did she say something about pets? As in, plural?”
“It’s best not to ask questions, dearest.”
“Uh huh. Well, it doesn't matter either way. She finished the cabinet, and that gives her the right to be as weird as she wants.”
They turned back towards the curio cabinet. Alastor moved to slip up behind the fallen angel, circling his arms around Lucifer’s waist and setting his bony chin down on the top of his head, flattening the golden curls there. Lucifer sighed and closed his eyes, perfectly content in the sinner’s arms.
“Shall we be complete heathens and take all the credit?” Alastor asked after a time.
Lucifer grinned, a warm, fuzzy feeling infusing his chest as he leaned back, snuggling closer to his Radio Demon.
“You read my mind.”