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Harry Styles: 21 years old, music major and coffee enthusiast. His passion in life was to sing old songs while baking carrot cupcakes. A special guy you would call him. He had a few friends whom were loved deeply and dearly. His best friend, Louis, was his favorite person in the world, with his big blue eyes and sharp tongue. Louis always had a soft spot for Harry.
The only flaw Harry could recognize in Louis was his eternal obliviousness to important matters… and his current location out of London while Harry was stuck in the busy city for the next three years.
He lived two streets down from the train station and his favorite coffee shop was right in front of the dorms. Those dorms were property of the college Harry was enrolled in. He decided he was going to live there, not only for the lower rent prices but for the peace. He preferred silence over the natural buzz coming from college students.
But, definitively, the absolute best of those dorms were the people living in them. Somehow, the students from international exchanges ended up there and Harry loved the culture richness and how every person was different from one another.
Harry’s next door neighbours were two Korean guys majoring in Music and Dramatic Arts, Namjoon and Seokjin. While Namjoon was a reserved guy, Seokjin was very warm and nice to everyone; maybe that was the reason they were together together. Opposites attract each other, and sometimes, complement each other.
~
December 24th, 2013
Harry planned his Christmas day carefully since December arrived with its Christmassy spirit and deathly winter. The snowflakes had been touching his window the whole month but he didn’t find himself to care, he liked the welcoming feeling of glass being hit softly.
The small kitchen was crowded with pans, bowls, pots and food supplies. Christmas day was cooking and baking day and not even his mom could talk him out of his tradition.
In his first year at college, he spent Christmas eve baking pastries and desserts, his mom just sighed through the phone and asked him to be careful. Christmas day was a day for family, his mother said. Christmas day was to enjoy whatever makes you happy and travelling three and a half hours to get home wasn’t amusing, he shot back. Almost at 7 o’clock, there was a knock on his door. Harry was covered in flour when he received his mother, she kissed him on the cheek and hugged him tightly. The rest of the night was peaceful and felt like home.
December 24th, 2014
The second year transcurred in a similar fashion but this time, his mom arrived unexpectedly at 10 AM and she brought company in a cat form; she had planned to adopt a little cat and give it to Harry, since he was all alone on week-day nights and weekends. Harry told her that he was not that alone because his neighbors loved to barge in and spoil him, sometimes they’d break in with three bags of Korean/Chinese/Japanese take-out or whatever Harry was craving for.
Of course Namjoon and Seokjin would cross the front door the moment Harry was crying and cuddling the little kitten on his chest. Seokjin was the first to ask if everything was okay, it was very unlikely of Harry to have an emotional breakdown; you could say that Seokjin had maternal feelings towards Harry… and every boy younger than him, including Namjoon. Anne stared at the interactions and made herself present with a little cough, with this the Korean boys stopped asking questions and looked at her for the very first time, both blushing and muttering apologies.
Anne just hugged them and thanked them for taking care of his child. After this, Namjoon’s ears were dyed with a cute reddish color. Seokjin and Harry were preoccupied with the kitten, it was a she. They were trying to pick a smart, witty, sassy and diva name for her because Seokjin said something about her eyes and the smirking-like way she looked. Harry decided to call her Lim.
Namjoon stayed with Harry watching how Lim explored by her own, playing with the Christmas decorations on the little tree that Harry kept in the farthest corner of the room. Meanwhile, Seokjin and Anne were cooking roast turkey, smashed potatoes and cranberry sauce; they talked about everything, she was curious about what lied behind that pretty face Seokjin’s got and Seokjin complied, he always felt secure about himself and was never afraid to speak his mind. Anne described him as lovely and they exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch.
Later that night, after everyone left, he sent a message to Louis attaching a cute selfie with Lim.
Look at her, mom brought her today. She’s Lim. I hope you’ve spent a nice day with Jay and everyone. I miss you guys, please be safe the rest of the holidays!
Louis texted him too.
She’s adorable, I knew Anne would pick the right one for you. I miss you so mUUuUuUuUCH :(( I hope we can meet before your birthday. The twins send some kisses. We love you!
Harry smiled and fell asleep with Lim on his chest, it was her new favorite place to sleep, it seemed.
December 24th, 2015.
Third year spending Christmas at London and Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to stay alone that day. Anne called and said she wouldn’t make it, an unexplainable emergency popped out and would keep her busy, she was sorry and Harry could feel it in her voice. His heart sank and the edges started to sting, at least he had Lim, Namjoon and Seokjin to spend time with.
Seokjin insisted they should go out for dinner but Harry turned down the offer; he already had plans: baking ginger bread and cooking something that caught his attention a few weeks ago, eggplant lasagna and black beans with noodles.
In the morning Harry woke up with Lim playing with his eyebrows, she felt an undying passion for furrowed brows that Harry couldn’t quite fathom. She grew up from a tiny black and white ball of fur to a slim and fluffy creature, her eyes were blue and green and his paws looked like she was wearing mittens.
Lim glared and tapped Harry’s nose, a sign of boredom, she used to do it everytime she wanted to be pet, cuddled, caressed or acknowledged. The sunlight was trapped beneath the curtains but some rays landed on Harry’s face and finally he was conscious enough to get out of bed and take care of his clingy pet. Just as he placed her food in her pink plate, Namjoon entered the apartment saying something in Korean, apparently he was on the phone with his mom, the goofy smiled gave him away.
“Good morning, it’s nice to see you this early.” Harry being sarcastic at 8 AM was his forte. “Oh, hi, I’m just here to bring you this. Seokjin prepared a quick breakfast for you since you don’t want to go out tonight. We’re having breakfast together and you’re not allowed to say no. Now, go, brush your teeth and wear something please.”
Harry did as he was told and after some minutes trying to wear something cat-hairless he gave up, it was useless. Lim liked to nap in Harry’s closet and she climbed at the top using Harry’s shirts as ropes. He sighed and decided for a white and worn t-shirt, something Louis got him a few years ago and Louis’ got a matching one, but his was black.
Seokjin arrived in the interlude and set the table, he and Namjoon were waiting for Harry. They ate animatedly and played some video games until early noon, Namjoon and Seokjin had a date and didn’t want to risk their reservation at the restaurant Seokjin had been dying to go for Christmas dinner. Seokjin said something along the lines of “it is a fine and packed establishment and I’m not willing to lose the chance to be with someone whom I love while eating heavenly food”, Namjoon just rolled his eyes and Harry chuckled.
They acted like Harry’s parents, like good parents actually. Always taking into consideration what Harry had to say, always taking care of him whenever he was feeling down or got sick, always congratulating his achievements and always advising him when something troubled Harry’s mind. The funny part was the endless bickering between those two, dumb arguments were always resolved with a pat on the shoulder and a sweet kiss. Harry was thankful and kept them in a special place in his heart.
When the stars draw the nocturnal sky, Harry was already baking his special ginger bread and the lovesongs were flooding the kitchen, he felt content with himself. A part of his heart still felt sore for missing his mom but Harry decided to pay her a visit for New Year’s eve and everything was already settled.
The ginger bread smelled like Christmas would smell if it was a fragrance, also the little red velvet cupcakes were aligned and looked like a huge column of pink snowflakes, with the vanilla pudding flanking their perimeter. A little snowman cake was on the table waiting for its ginger house to be built and lots of ginger reindeers looked like running around the snowman. Harry had a knack for decoration and cute things.
At some point of the night, his phone went off. His mom wouldn’t call this late, Namjoon and Seokjin were surely drunk and sickeningly in love enjoying the winter sky in the park, his classmates were in their homes so it was unlikely for them to call at almost 10 PM. He thought of Louis but he had already dialed when Harry was doing the reindeer cookies.
Annoyed by the constant ringing he picked up the phone without reading the contact information on the screen.
“I’m trying not to be harsh but it’s quite late, I’m glad I was up doing some stuff but what if I was sleeping? Very rude of you, sir.” He was feeling playful and his humor sense was lacking the humor part but the other person laughed and Harry’s heart skipped a beat. It was Louis.
“Well, excuse me for consider calling you again. Are you home? I bet you’re, don’t move. I might have sent a nice surprise for you, it’ll be there in twenty minutes, don’t forget to lock the door. Bye!” And with that, the line went dead and Harry was beyond confused. His relationship was built on a solid foundation of respect, trust, bad jokes, food, love for pets, confusing behavior from Louis and Harry’s awkwardness. Best friendship ever. He was accustomed to Louis’ manners since they were kids but it still felt quite weird to be walking on thin air whenever Louis decided to do something without warning Harry first.
As expected, there was a light knock on the door twenty minutes after Louis’ call. Harry walked with heavy feet and Lim followed his lead, she was curious and when Harry opened the door, she walked out of the apartment and ran to a little box placed a few meters from Harry’s apartment. “What is this, Lim?” He muttered to himself and carried the small package with one arm and Lim with the other.
Once he was inside the apartment, he sat on the floor with Lim, whose curiosity died when she couldn’t get inside the box. She looked at Harry and sassed her tail while going to the kitchen. Harry got the message “I want the box when I get back”, at this point he would give Lim the stars if she could talk and ask him personally.
He opened the box carefully and soft pink dust covered his hands, he jumped when a click was followed by a soft Christmas song a little letter was now on display, ready to be taken and read. “What did you do this time, Louis?” He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the door being opened nor the soft steps at his back. A pair of arms hugged from behind and Harry almost had a heart attack, he jumped like three foots from the floor and hit Louis on the ribs.
“I’m so sorry! Louis, Jesus Christ, you almost make me faint, this is not fun!” Harry was on the verge of tears and Louis just giggled. “This wasn’t the welcome-home hug I was waiting for, but I guess I deserve to be hit. I’m sorry.”
Harry’s heart was about to explode, there was Louis, wearing the ugly Christmas sweater that Harry knitted for him all those years ago. He was the same as always: brilliant smiles, crinkly eyes, soft hands and sweet scent. Some people were like seasons to Harry. Namjoon and Seokjin were spring, colorful and vibrant. His mom was winter, the warm side of winter, that’s how Harry liked to describe their relationship; it was hot chocolate, cuddles on the couch, snowmen and lots of desserts. But Louis was all the season in one person; beautiful and lively as spring, warm and fun as summer, timid as autumn and as welcoming as winter. Everything fell into place when Louis was around. His insecurities were drowned in Louis’ embrace and love.
He never thought about Louis as something more of a best friend and he guessed Louis’ situation was just the same. They were not a puzzle, though. A puzzle is about putting pieces together but it wouldn’t quite describe how their lives were entwined, it was more complex than that and Harry was not ready to assume his feelings. He had yet to be honest with himself and let the bad feelings go. Overthinking was a hell and Harry liked to call himself the king of said hell.
“Why don’t you read what I wrote for you, hmm?” Louis whispered softly in his ear and Harry’s knees trembled. Not trusting his voice, he just nodded. “I’ll be in the kitchen with all the things you’ve cooked today. You see, I’ve been craving for your ginger bread and I’ll help myself with a decent-sized piece. Do you want something?” Louis had already escaped to the kitchen and couldn’t listen how Harry giggled, again.
He sat on the couch with Lim who was back and making herself home on Harry’s lap. He started to read, a knot already constricting his throat.
“Merry Christmas, my little kitten.
I remember how we used to play outside on holidays, the snow covering your cheeks and making your eyes shine brighter than the sun. It’s a vision I’d like to keep forever, if I start to write down some facts I’ve been neglecting from a long time.
I reckon my favorites memories are the ones we’ve shared throughout our lives. Since we were kids, you’ve been my favorite person to talk to, play with, sleep with, cuddle with and just be with. I love to make you smile so hard your dimples look bigger than they really are. I love to make you giggle because it has a nice ring and it’s like a collection of bells is being played. I love to upset you because your cheeks look as red as strawberries and your eyes have this fire I’d like to touch just to see if it burns.
I’d like to say my feelings for you were always as clear as water but I’d be lying and lies are definitely not my thing. I realized you were more than just Harry when I felt jealousy, that jealousy you can’t put your finger on because it appeared out of nowhere and trespassed your heart without you knowing it. I realized you were my special one when my heart skipped some beats every morning after receiving all sorts of cute messages from you. I knew you were the one that I wanted when I started to miss you every hour of the day; there wasn’t a moment my heart didn’t feel uneasy and just… in pain. It felt hard and sometime it wouldn’t let me breathe. Some shadows haunted me at night and told me it was wrong, everything could go wrong and then I’d lose you. I’m not ready to lose you but I’m ready to admit that I’ve been in love with you for a real long time.
Please, give us a chance?
Louis.”
Harry felt dizzy and re-read the last lines once, twice, three times. He was positively sure that he was crying but it felt like a burden had been lift off his shoulders. Something within him clicked and suddenly an avalanche of emotions were burying him and he needed some air to breathe. He stood in the middle of the room trying to decode his own mind, everything was a turmoil and he couldn’t think straight.
He still needed to breathe but the air was too dense, too hot. He walked to the kitchen and found Louis sitting on the countertop eating his reindeers, he was nervous. He discovered Louis liked to chew something sweet in stressful situations. Louis hadn’t notice until Harry told him.
“Louis.” Harry choked and threw himself on top of Louis, he hugged him, hard. Don’t let me go, he wanted to say and Louis hugged him back. I won’t, it meant.
“I didn’t know how to… express myself without having an emotional breakdown and Anne gave me this idea. I hope you’re not upset, I’m sorry. If it bothers you, forget everything you’ve read and we can always spend the rest of the night chatting and watching a movie or we could go to the park and have a nice walk… but considering it’s snowing, it wouldn’t be a nice id...” Harry put one finger on Louis mouth.
“Do you ever stop talking?” Harry was about to lecture him when something ruffled his hair. Both looked at the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling and oh, oh. Louis swallowed hard and cupped Harry’s face. “Is this okay?” He asked before approaching, their noses bumped and Harry could feel Louis’ breath on his lips, his hands were on Louis’ hips and they were so close, oh, so close. “Yeah.” Harry breathed before kissing Louis. It was a simple touch at first, sweet and tender.
“Merry Christmas”, said Louis before kissing Harry again. They broke apart and Harry felt enamoured of the happy feeling coiling in his stomach. “You taste like ginger bread, I like it.” Harry kissed him on the cheek and Louis blushed. “You taste like hot chocolate and lovesongs. I like you.”
They moved to the couch and enjoyed the rest of the night between kisses and whispered promises of a future together. Harry thought it was the best Christmas. Eventually they fell asleep snuggled up to each other with Lim on their arms.
The next morning, Namjoon and Seokjin found them like that and smiled at the sight. It was very cute and Seokjin decided to keep that moment forever… in a picture. It’d be good blackmail material for later. “I guess our plan was a success, it was about time.” Namjoon whispered.
Seokjin had traced a fool-proof plan: mistletoe on the ceiling; they knew Louis was coming for Christmas and they also knew that Harry and Louis needed something to boost their relationship. Harry had been pinning for a very long time and it was heartbreaking to see. If someone deserved to be happy, it was Harry.
Lim received them half asleep and bumping into Namjoon, asking for breakfast, and after washing and putting everything into place, they left. The lovebirds had earned a day off.
Harry woke up to something tapping on his nose and he left out a soft growl. “So, you’re not going to wake up?” Louis was now kissing him on the cheeks, eyes, forehead, everywhere but Harry’s mouth. “Just kiss me already and we can go back to sleep.” Louis laughed whole-heartedly and kissed Harry before going back to dreamland. Harry’s temper always amused him and he was more than willing to cope with his swinging moods, just as Harry was willing to cope with Louis’.
Harry thanked his Gods and confirmed that miracles existed. Louis was his miracle of shiny happiness and life. They’d be okay. They would always be okay as long as their hearts sang the same song.