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It was the burst of color, Jaller realizes later, that woke Kongu up entirely.
The appearance of the Toa Hagah inside the Skakdi fortress didn't register with any of them as anything other than a nuisance, as far as he knows. Hahli took Norik to the ground like she had never had any other goal in life, and the rest of them rushed hotly into battle after her. He remembers Hewkii whooping, glad to have a break in the monotony, glad to have an enemy to throw against the wall, but then Kongu put that ax into Kualus's shoulder, and wow, fireworks. Kualus was silver and pure bright white one moment, and then the next – an explosion of purple ichor splattered across himself and Kongu both, and Iruini yelled so loudly it echoed in Jaller's audio receptors for long minutes after.
“Mata Nui,” said Kongu, as Kualus crashed to the ground with a choke. “Kualus, I – I – Mata Nui. What... are we doing?”
“Kualus!” Iruini darted between the battle to get to his brother, even as Gaaki knocked Nuparu solidly out on the other side of the room. Jaller's mask warned him of the loud sounds of oncoming Skakdi, but he couldn't think to say anything about it. Two minutes ago everything in the world made sense. Now something was wrong.
“Bomonga?” Hewkii asked in bewilderment, his spear slipping out of his hand. “Why are we fighting?”
“Easy, all of you, take it easy,” Pouks shouted over everyone. “Okay, stop, you're okay. Something got in your heads. Kopaka sent us to help. We're going to get you out of this, just try to think clearly.”
Hahli shook her head hard and regained herself – she's always so sturdy like that, always so determined to bounce right back. She hurried to help Iruini with Kualus, falling to her knees beside them and trying to tend the injury. Jaller remembers pushing back from Pouks to get a better look, morbidly enthralled. Kualus was struggling to breathe. Kongu pierced him deeply, from his shoulder towards his throat.
“Jaller,” said Norik, approaching and grabbing him harshly, clasping his shoulders tight. “Jaller, look at me. We need to know who got in your heads like this. We will figure everything out, but we have to handle whoever is controlling you to get you all free.”
“Will he die?” Jaller asked instead of replying. “I've never seen Matoro bleed like that.”
Something flashed over Norik's face. “Brother, it's Kualus.”
“I tried to stop him from leaving,” Jaller tried again, sensing that they weren't understanding each other. “I would have died instead of him. Don't you believe me?”'
“Jaller – ”
“It's the – the big mutated thing with the gold skin,” Hewkii rasped, interrupting them. “Norik, there was some kind of prophecy. They combined a group of beings in energized protodermis. I don't know where the psionic powers came from, but the moment it was created, it was in our heads. We didn't even have a chance to fight it off. It will do the same to you – we should run!”
“The lot of us have plenty of experience fighting off psionic influence,” Gaaki said. “Roodaka couldn't turn us into Rahi, and this being won't turn us into servants.”
“Pouks,” Norik said. “Your mask – you'll match its powers, if only for a few minutes, and then you can make sure everyone's mind is clear. Bomonga, grow, intimidate it. Iruini, find it.”
“I need to stay with Kualus and keep him breathing,” Iruini protested.
“I'll do it, I'll do it,” Kongu said, voice increasingly thin. “I – I'm so sorry, I never meant – I'll help, I swear, please – ”
“We all would have saved him if we could,” Jaller insisted, grabbing Norik's arm. “It's my fault, not theirs.”
“Jaller, listen, you have to keep it together for your team. We're going to get you back to safety, little brother, I swear.”
Yes, Kongu came back to himself in that flash of ichor, and so did the others, he thinks, but Jaller felt so hazy, so lost, alone in that moment. Wasn't the Gold-Skinned Being in charge? Aren't things better that way? What has his leadership ever led to but Ice Toa dying at his feet? He blinked and saw purple ichor, golden fire. His brother eaten alive by the destiny he led him to.
Norik turned away from him, readying his siblings for another battle while the others tried to orient themselves or help Kualus, whose ichor was pooling on the stone floor, approaching Jaller's feet. The door on the other side of the room slammed as a pair of Skakdi came up the stairs to interrupt their reunion, and Hewkii and Pouks both charged at them together. Jaller turned away and left through the other door. He needed to get back to the Gold-Skin. That was where he belonged.
“Jaller!” someone called after him, but he didn't know whose voice it was. He still doesn't. In his memory, the next few minutes seem to pulse like a heartlight, throbbing through his head, so clear and so warped at the same time.
“Fire Toa,” said the Gold-Skin, who was coming down from its tower already. It grabbed Jaller by the arm, yanking him towards it. The second it touched him, he heard himself gasp, and he was glad he came back to it. Of course he belonged to this being. He didn't know his own name. He was just the Fire Toa who served it. Its grip on his arm was painfully tight. “Why are your siblings free?”
“There are invaders,” he managed. “They'll come to fight you too. Experienced Toa with masks to rival your powers – you should run.”
“Run? I can handle another five Toa.”
“Six,” Jaller corrected.
“Oh, yes, I forgot you're missing a piece of your set.” It pulled at Jaller again, and he resisted the urge to scream: it was gripping his arm so tightly he thought the metal might be bending. “Well, they'll destroy the fortress, I suppose, there's no getting past that. Trouble of dealing with Toa: there are always more of them. But I so love to have the elements tamed under my hand.”
“I can be useful,” Jaller said, trying to breathe through the pain.
“Yes, maybe you can. You know what a Nova blast is, don't you, Toa of Fire?”
“Yes,” he said. He's so grateful it always knows the right next step. “Yes, that would work. The others could try to stop me, but that would give you time to prepare for them.”
“Very well, then, but no room for error.” It touched his mask and he choked on a wave of power, nearly crumpling, and it let him fall to his knees. When his eyes flashed open, there was nothing left in his head but its command.
“You don't need to survive it,” it added, turning away from it. “In fact, maybe you shouldn't.”
“Yes,” he remembers saying. “I understand.”
And he did understand, very clearly. It was all he understood. The need to destroy himself.
Gold light eating him alive. Destiny is always sacrificial. He heard himself laughing. He understood completely.
He thinks Norik held him to his chest and screamed. He thinks their armor grew soft against their bodies. But it's hard to remember beyond what he's been told. Really, in his memory, there is nothing else there but the heat.