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It took Gambit nearly an hour to realize that he was nervous. It wasn’t a feeling that he had often, nervousness, so it took him a moment to recognize what it was. He swallowed, eyes fluttering shut as he tried, desperately so, to figure out why he was so nervous. It was just Rogue, his alpha, that was coming to his room later that day, that night. She was going to spend the night.
He asked himself why he was nervous, tried to figure out what had caused the nerves when it was just Rogue. The little voice in the back of his head reminded him that he’d never submitted, willingly, for anyone before. That might be it. Or, the last time he’d been near to the headspace, when he’d been forced to that headspace, someone had hurt him.
Was he scared Rogue would do the same thing? That she would hurt him in some way? It was a ridiculous thought, because Rogue loved him and they’d been together for two and a half years. Longer if they counted all the pining and flirting, and the back and forth of being together and not being together. A rough patch they’d had early on that had left Remy wondering if it was worth it to keep trying when she was so much happier with Magneto, because she and Magneto could at least touch.
But Rogue had chosen him, and they didn’t have that restriction any more. Magneto, Erik, had found a way and had made Rogue a few things that she could wear that would allow her to touch others freely.
It had allowed her to be able to touch Remy. And he knew that was exactly why Erik had done it. Most of the items that were given to Rogue were black with hints of red. He’d even made one extra thing, for if this situation were to ever come up, not that Remy had ever thought about it… But Erik had made a collar, green and yellow with a white buckle.
Remy wore it all the time, at least when they weren’t on missions. He’d tried to wear it on a mission once, and had quickly learned that had been a mistake. And Rogue had not let anyone near him for nearly several weeks.
He’d not worn his collar on any mission after that.
He took a deep breath, pushing himself out of his thoughts and spiraling mind. He needed to calm himself down, not rile himself further into, possibly, an anxiety attack. It wasn’t like Rogue was going to have him submit during sex, not for his first time submitting to her. Or the second, third or fourth time, she had assured him of the vehemently.
“It’s just Rogue.” Remy breathed, closing his eyes and forcing himself to relax. It wasn’t nearly as easy when he knew that he was going… He shuddered as he began to pace his room. Kneeling wasn’t something that Remy did, not for anyone and definitely not willingly. But…
He sighed, deeply as he paused, turning and just staring at his room. It was entirely clean, something he’d done the night before when he’d gotten anxious just knowing that today he was submitting.
“Gambit’s not scared of submitting.” Remy scoffed to himself, but Remy was anxious of being vulnerable, the thought that crossed his mind immediately after made him scowl at the ground. He turned and curled up in the chair in his room, which held all his nesting blankets and a pillow that he grabbed and pulled against his chest. He curled up into a ball against the back of the chair and closed his eyes.
A nest was something that relaxed an omega, and well… Remy took a deep breath, hiding his face against it. Rogue’s scent was ingrained in it, and the only thing in his nest that smelt of her. It soothed something in him in a way that just knowing it was Rogue couldn’t.
He closed his eyes and felt himself melt just a little.
He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until there was a light knock on his door, and Remy realized that it was much darker in his room than it was when he initially curled up in his bed.
“Remy?” Rogue sounded quiet, and there was a hint of worry in her voice. He made a face as he looked around, trying to place what was going on. “Are you in there?” She never opened the door unless Remy gave her permission to. That and there was a rule about no Alpha’s in Remy’s room… unless invited in. Xavier had heard a mental earful from Remy when Rogue got in trouble for letting Remy sleep next to her in the common room. Rogue had permission so long as Remy gave her permission.
“C’est ouvert.” Remy paused, blinking as he rubbed his eyes before trying again. “It’s open.” The door softly clicked open and Rogue stepped into the room, her eyes jumped towards the bed before they flicked over towards his nest and she softened.
“You okay?” Remy nodded as he yawned and stretched his arms high above his head, his back cracking lightly before he crawled back up in his next. “Did you nap?” He nodded again as he curled his arms around the pillow a little more. He was tired, and his head was resting on the pillow with Rogue’s scent so comfortably. “Are you sure you’re okay, suga’?” She asked, and Remy nodded again.
“Needed t’ relax is all.” Remy’s voice was a little slurred and his eyes fluttered a little. There was a little pain in his neck from sleeping with his day collar on; it wasn’t made for being slept in, there was a reason it was a day collar. “Didn’t mean t’ fall asleep.”
“That’s okay, suga’.” Rogue smiled, sitting down at the foot of Remy’s bed as she stared at him. She… looked calm and relaxed, and a little… awed? Remy didn’t understand that flurry of emotions on her face and in her eyes, which were full of love and a bit of adoration. “But you didn’t eat dinner.” She gave a look towards him as he winced. He never allowed himself to miss a meal, not typically at least.
“Pardon,” Remy murmured, “didn’t mean to miss one.” It meant he missed a dose of his suppressants too, that’ll be a fun week coming up. She smiled at him, they both knew it wasn’t okay and she wasn’t going to lie to him and tell him it was.
“You’re forgiven, but you know I won’t be able to stay the night, now.” He made a face, pouting as he pleaded with her silently. “Come ‘ere?” She asked, and Remy felt the nerves rush through him again. He’d gotten used to her presence in his room, and he’d almost wanted to fall asleep again. That was probably on purpose, that she’d waited a bit.
He felt himself freeze a little but he still carefully moved from his nest, resting Rogue’s pillow in the center of it, and realizing his back hurt a little from the curled up position. He walked towards her, careful, as he stopped about a foot in front of her.
They’d talked about this, about having a pillow for him to kneel on just in front of her, but that he’d kneel a little aways from her first, on another pillow. Get used to the position and being in it for her before she’d ask him to move closer to her.
“Are you sure that you’re okay with this, hun’?” She asked. Remy waited, tilting his head as he took a stock of himself.
“Oui.” He nodded after a moment, a determined jerk of his head.
“You sure?” He smiled at her with a tilt of his head, the beginnings of his tell tale smirk at the edges of his lips.
“I’m more than sure, chère.” Remy answered her, locking eyes with her. He knew he shouldn’t, knew that all Omega’s shuddered at locking eyes with any Alpha, much less their own Alpha. Even Scott didn’t lock eyes with Logan, despite Scott being the leader of the X-Men, and barely even glancing at Jean’s, who was a Beta, eyes unsettled him greatly.
“Kneel.” It was a whisper of a breath laced with a command, and Remy felt his muscles lock up, panic rush through him as he lowered to his knees. The command lifted as soon as both knees touched the ground and his hands faced palm towards Rogue at his sides.
He didn’t expect the rush of lightheadedness that followed, and he knew his eyes fluttered. They must have at least, because when he was next able to process his sight and surroundings, Rogue was crouched in front of him, worry in her eyes and one hand cupping his cheek.
“Remy?” Rogue asked, to which Remy made a sound. Rogue leaned forward, a breath of relief rushing out of her throat as her other came up and cupped his face entirely. “Suga’, you scared me.”
“Pardon,” Remy murmured, leaning against her slightly.
“What happened?” There was an urgency and Remy shuddered. He really shouldn’t have missed dinner, he thought half distractedly. He had leaned forward a bit, and his head was now resting on Rogue’s shoulder.
“Got… really lightheaded.” Remy answered her. He flinched lightly when one hand moved and was brushing through his hair.
“You aren’t used to kneeling…” She had tried for a question, but it came out more like a realization. Remy shook his head regardless, answering it as he forced his eyes open. “Let’s get you standing, suga’.” Rogue decided. Remy whined, unwillingly, as his eyes snapped open again. She’d pulled away, was trying to stand up again, and Remy panicked momentarily.
“Non, non, no, no-” Remy shook his head quickly. Rogue stopped moving, settling back down and holding him. He melted against her as he took a deep breath, “Non, I’m okay, please-”
“Okay,” Rogue assured him, wrapping one arm around him. Her scent was strong, and Remy melted against her as his head felt light and… it felt light and fuzzy, and it made him want… It took him a moment to realize he was purring as he nuzzled against her shoulder. “I’m not gonna move.”
Remy purred a little louder when there was a gentle kiss to his hair.
He’d woken up briefly to Rogue leaving his room, with him tucked so tightly into his bed and the scent of pre-heat just starting to tingle at his nose.