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Chapter Text

As the DA's office Christmas party dragged on, Casey found herself debating whether she wanted to go home and see what was waiting for her there or stay and be bored out of her mind by how the night was going. The room was filled with the clinking of glasses, the low murmur of conversations, and the occasional forced laughter. Casey stood in the corner, her eyes flicking to the clock every few minutes in an endless blur of small talk and polite smiles.

Across the room, Alex Cabot watched Casey with interest. She had heard plenty about the young ADA in White Collar—her quick wit, her boldness, her impressive record. But seeing her in person was different. Casey was beautiful, just as tall as Alex if not a bit more, her red hair caught the light in a way that made her glow, and there was something in her green eyes that piqued Alex's curiosity.

Unable to resist the pull, Alex made her way through the crowd toward Casey. Each step was deliberate, her gaze never wavering from her.

"Counting down the minutes until it's socially acceptable to get out of here?" Alex's voice was smooth, carrying a hint of teasing that made Casey jump at the unexpected interruption to her thoughts.

"Oh, no, I wasn't," Casey replied, caught off guard by Alex's sudden presence.

"It's okay, I'm just teasing," Alex said with a warm smile, extending her hand. "Alex Cabot, Sex Crimes."

"Casey Novak, White Collar," Casey replied, shaking her hand. The touch lingered, a subtle current passing between them that left Casey slightly breathless.

"So, I finally put a face to the name. Congrats on the Green case. From what I heard, you might've set a record for the fastest conviction," Alex said, enjoying the way her words caused a slight blush to appear on Casey's face.

"Thanks," Casey ducked her head, not quite used to people complimenting her on cases yet.

Alex took mercy on her and continued the conversation. “You liking White Collar?”

"Yeah. But I would eventually want to move on to Homicide," she admitted. It was true; as much as she liked White Collar, she couldn’t see herself working in it for long.

Alex took a sip of her drink and chuckled a bit at Casey's ambition. “Homicide is good, although you have to have the stomach for it.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Casey agreed.

“Want to get some air?” Alex suggested, noticing how stuffy the crowded room was getting and hoping it would give her an excuse to extend their conversation.

Casey seemed to think about it for a second, looking back at her watch one more time before nodding her head and following Alex's lead. “Sure.”

They stepped out onto the terrace, the cold night air a welcome contrast to the warmth inside. Casey took a deep breath, taking a second to take Alex in. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Everyone in the DA's office knew her; she had a presence that commanded attention, and it sent a flutter through Casey.

“So, these parties,” Casey motioned to the people inside, “are they usually this dull?” she asked, a smile forming on her lips.

"Well, it depends. Last year, I got to see a girl throw a drink at Jason Whitaker's face, so at least that was entertaining," Alex said with a laugh, her eyes never leaving Casey's.

Casey laughed with her, nearly choking on her drink as she did so. “I haven’t heard about him in a while. He’s a prick.”

“Yeah, he is,” Alex agreed.

Silence filled the air once more, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They each sipped their drinks, the cold air of Manhattan around them. Casey brought her left hand up next to her drink, and for the first time that night, Alex noticed what she thought was the most devastating thing she could see: a ring on Casey's finger.

Casey, oblivious to the disappointment rushing through Alex, let her curiosity get the better of her. “How do you handle sex crimes?” she asked, wondering how any ADA who worked in that field ever managed to cope with what they saw.

"Well, it's not easy," Alex admitted, snapping back into the conversation. "Half of the time it destroys you a little bit. Plus, my detectives give me a headache more often than not. But it's worth it."

"I can imagine. I don't think I could ever do it, but I heard you're pretty good at it," Casey said, finishing her drink with one last swig.

"Oh, so you've heard about me, Miss Novak?" Alex teased, in an attempt to get Casey to smile at her again

"Maybe," Casey replied, a shy smile tugging at her lips.

They stayed quiet again, looking over the Manhattan skyline, enjoying the cacophony of city life beneath them.

"You okay?" Alex asked gently, noticing the way Casey glanced at her watch, a shadow passing over her face.

"Yeah, yeah. I just... I think I'm going to head out. It's getting pretty late, and my fiancé doesn't like it when I get home late," Casey explained, a hint of regret in her voice.

"Right," Alex said, masking her disappointment. The confirmation of a fiancé was a blow that shattered her hope at pursuing anything, but Alex refused to let it show.

"It was nice meeting you, Alex," Casey said, offering a sincere smile.

"You too," Alex replied, her eyes lingering on Casey's face.

As Casey turned to leave, Alex couldn't resist calling out, "Hey, Casey."

"What's up?" Casey asked, turning back.

"You want to grab a cup of coffee sometime? Tell me all about why you hate Jason Whitaker," Alex suggested.

"Sure, sounds fun," Casey agreed, giving Alex one last smile, one last look at those beautiful green eyes before she turned and walked away.

"See you around, Casey," Alex said, watching as Casey left. There was something about Casey that fascinated her, and Alex couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something interesting.

A few months had passed since Alex and Casey first met at the Christmas party, and in that time, they had spent more and more time together, developing a friendship that allowed both women a break from their busy lives. They often met for coffee or brought each other lunch, helping each other with their cases and sharing details from their lives. Though there always seemed to be a blank when it came to Casey's fiancé and her relationship, she never brought him up, and Alex never asked because even if her initial feelings towards the redhead had only grown, she would gladly take her friendship over nothing at all and she was glad she didn't have to hear about the woman's fiancé.

Casey had canceled their lunch that day and although Alex had been disappointed, she didn’t push and went home early to try and get done with some files. She finished everything and had finally managed to go to sleep when her phone buzzed over and over again. She picked it up, annoyed at whoever was on the other side for waking her up when she had finally beaten her insomnia for the night. When she answered, it was Olivia’s voice on the other end requesting Alex’s presence at the hospital, talking about a case and hanging up on her before Alex could even protest. So she dragged herself out of bed and quickly made her way to the hospital.

“What was so urgent that it couldn’t wait till the morning, Liv?” Alex asked as she found Olivia in the hallway.

Olivia looked up from her notepad, catching sight of a slightly annoyed and sleep-deprived Alex. “We caught a case, and we figured you would want to jump on it quickly.”

Alex rubbed her temple, willing her brain to wake up before Olivia bombarded her with information. “Why?”

“The vic is an ADA,” Olivia told her simply, walking them down the brightly lit hallway.

That finished waking Alex up, her head now focused on the case at hand. “What happened?” she asked, following Olivia around the corner and past the nurses' station.

“Neighbors called in a domestic disturbance. When the officers got there, they found her covered in cuts and bruises and called us in. She tried to tell the officers it was a mistake, but they still called us. Apparently, the fiancé is schizophrenic and was off his medication. He did a number on her.”

“Jesus. Any sign of sexual assault?” Alex asked, her stomach churning a little.

“Don’t know yet. She isn’t talking and won’t let the nurses run a rape kit,” Olivia explained, pausing in front of one of the rooms.

Alex sighed, dreading this already but figuring she could try to see if she could get through to her. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. What is her name?”

Olivia looked through the pages of her notepad until she landed on the name. “Uh, Casey Novak. You know her?”

Now she felt like she might throw up, the words from Olivia's mouth hitting her like a punch to the gut. Her blood ran cold. She felt like the ground had been pulled out from under her. Her mind flashed back to every coffee, every lunch, every guarded look on Casey’s face. She had missed it. She had failed to see any signs. “I do,” she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.

How had she not known? She thought of the moments she had spent with Casey, the subtle signs of distress she had overlooked. She had never asked about Casey's fiancé, never pried into that part of her life, respecting her privacy. Now, she regretted it deeply. She should have seen something was wrong. She cleared her throat and reached for the door, Olivia shooting her a concerned look when she saw Alex looked upset. “It’s okay, I’ll talk to her.”

Alex opened the door to the exam room where Casey was being kept, her heart pounding in her chest as she did so. The sight that greeted her made her nearly let out a gasp. Casey sat on the hospital bed with her knees drawn to her chest, her usually vibrant face now a mess of cuts and bruises. With this job, people often appeared older than they were, but looking at Casey now, Alex saw just how young and scared the 25-year-old looked.

“Hey,” Alex said softly, trying to keep her voice steady despite how badly it wanted to break.

Casey’s face shot up and allowed Alex to see the extent of the injuries Charlie had caused. “Alex,” Casey responded, relief evident in her voice as she saw a familiar face. “Please don't let them hurt him,” she immediately pleaded, not letting the blonde have another word before she was practically begging.

“Casey, he beat you,” Alex said gently, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Casey shook her head quickly. “He doesn’t mean to. He’s sick,” she insisted, her eyes desperate for Alex to understand.

“Casey—” Alex began, but Casey cut her off.

“No, I don't want to hear it. I didn’t even want to come here. I told the officers that. I’m not a victim, I’m not.” She hugged her knees tighter, repeating herself almost like she was trying to convince herself that this wasn’t happening.

Alex moved a little bit closer, always staying in Casey’s line of sight and moving slowly so as not to startle her anymore. “He hurt you, Casey. You know they have to follow protocol.”

Casey’s eyes filled with tears, but she quickly blinked them away. “I know, but I just… He needs help, not prison, Alex. I can help him.”

Alex sighed, feeling a surge of frustration run through her. As much as she wanted to do as Casey asked, she knew they had to follow protocol, and she also wanted to lock him away and throw away the key. “I'll have our psychiatrist examine him and go from there. But we need to make sure you’re safe too. Let me help you.”

Casey nodded and let her head fall to her knees once more. Alex knew she still had something to ask and she dreaded doing it. “You know I need to ask. Did he sexually assault you?”

Casey didn’t look up at her, only hugged herself tighter.

“Please, Casey,” Alex pleaded, not liking what her friend's body language was telling her.

“No,” Casey finally whispered, sending a shot of relief through Alex that quickly faded when Casey kept talking. “Not tonight.”

Alex ran her hand over her face, racking her brain and trying to understand how she didn’t see this. “But it has happened,” she affirmed.

Casey looked up at her, and the tears that had threatened to fall before fell now. “He doesn't mean to,” she sobbed, and Alex took that as her cue to sit next to her and carefully bring Casey into her arms.

“Okay, it’s okay. I got you,” she whispered over and over again as Casey cried in her arms.

“I don’t know what to do, Alex. He won’t let me help,” Casey managed to get out between sobs.

Alex kissed her forehead, trying to bring her some comfort. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”

Casey nodded weakly, the fight seemingly draining out of her. Alex held her tightly, wishing she could take away all the pain.

Alex was trying so hard to think of what she was going to do to help that she almost missed Casey’s mumbling against her.

"Alex, I don't feel so good," Casey muttered, her voice tinged with confusion.

Alex frowned, pulling away to look at Casey’s face, shocked when her already pale friend looked even paler. "Should I get a nurse?"

Before Casey could respond, she felt a sharp drop in her energy. Her vision blurred, and she struggled to stay focused. Her heart pounded erratically, her skin growing clammy. Alex panicked as she saw the sudden change in her friend's condition.

"Nurse! We need help!" Alex's voice was urgent, her eyes wide with fear.

Within moments, medical staff flooded the room, followed by Olivia, who had been standing right outside the door. Casey's blood pressure had plummeted, and her heart rate was dangerously high. Her bright eyes now looked distant and confused. The nurses quickly assessed the situation, gently but firmly moving Alex aside. "She's crashing. Please wait outside," one of the nurses instructed, pushing Alex and Olivia to the door.

Casey's consciousness began to fade, her body slipping into shock. She felt a cold, sinking sensation, as if she was being pulled away from reality. Despite the flurry of activity around her, she could hardly comprehend what was happening, seeing a blurry blonde figure before everything went dark.

Alex stumbled out of the room, her heart racing. She stood just outside the door, helplessly watching as the medical team worked to help Casey.

The last thing she saw was Casey go limp before the door was closed in her face. Alex felt tears prick at her eyes, praying it wouldn’t be the last time she saw the woman she had silently started to love since the day she met her.

Chapter Text

Alex paced the hallway, her mind racing with worry. The sight of Casey being rushed to the OR, unconscious and battered, imprinted in her mind. The doctors had moved quickly, their expressions grave when they had pushed the gurney toward the OR past them what felt like hours ago. She tried to control her breathing, but each step she took seemed to match the pounding of her heart. Olivia stood nearby, her arms crossed, eyes following Alex's relentless movement.

"Alex, are you okay?" Olivia finally asked, her voice cutting through the tense silence.

Alex stopped mid-pace and glanced at Olivia, her face pale and drawn. "I can't believe this is happening," she muttered, to herself rather than to Olivia.

Olivia moved closer, her expression softening as she stoped Alex’s pacing with a hand to her arm. "You're good friends with her?"

Alex hesitated, her eyes flickering with emotion. "Yes," she said, her voice tight. "We've become close over the past months. I met her at the DA's Christmas party."

Olivia nodded, observing the intensity in Alex's eyes. She could see there was more to Alex's feelings for Casey than just friendship, but she chose not to press the matter. If she were honest with herself, she didn't think Alex had any close friends. She tended to be a very private person, focused on getting her work done efficiently and moving on to the next case. She rubben her hand up and down Alexs arm, attempting to calm her "She'll get through this."

Alex nodded, appreciating Olivia's attempt to reassure her, but it did little to ease the knot of fear in her stomach. She resumed her pacing, her thoughts a jumble of worry, the bright lights giving her a headache.

Minutes felt like hours as they waited for any news. Alex couldn't sit still, her mind replaying the sight of Casey's bruised and battered face over and over. Olivia had eventually gone to call Elliot and ask about the situation back at the precinct and had come back with a cup of coffee and a muffin that Alex barely touched.

She watched Alex with concern having seen her deal with many victims before and under high-stress situations, but never had she seen her this distraught. It was clear that Alex had fallen deeply for Casey.

After what felt like an eternity, they watched a nurse come out from the direction they had taken Casey. "How is she?" Alex asked, rushing to meet the nurse walfway, wasting no time in asking for an update.

"Ms. Cabot, Detective Benson," she greeted them. "Ms. Novak suffered from internal bleeding. We are working on stabilizing her, but due to the extent of her injuries, it's going to take a while.”

It took a minute for Alex to react. The thought of Charlie beating Casey to the point of causing internal bleeding made her want to kill him. "Will she be okay?" she asked eventually, looking from the nurse to the door behind her.

The nurse nodded. "We're monitoring her closely, and the prognosis is good. Someone will be out to update you in a while."

Alex let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, her shoulders sagging with a mixture of relief and exhaustion. "Thank you," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

The nurse offered a reassuring smile before heading back into the OR. Alex turned to Olivia as soon as the nurse had left, "Make sure Huang is ready to talk to Casey's fiancé. I want him locked up, whether it's in a prison or a hospital, I don't care. He's not laying a hand on her again."

Olivia nodded, not daring to go against anything Alex told her right now. "I'll make the call. She’ll be okay, just sit tight," she said, pulling out her phone to contact Huang.

Grateful for Olivia's support but still feeling the weight of guilt pressing down on her, Alex moved to a nearby chair and sank down onto it, burying her face in her hands. Olivia eventually sat beside her, giving her hand a squeeze.

As they sat there, the hospital sounds buzzed around them: the beeping of monitors, the soft hum of conversation, the distant click of heels on the tile floor. Alex tried not to get overwhelmed by all of it; she needed Casey to be okay.

Finally, as dawn began to break, a doctor approached them, his expression serious and tired but not unkind. "Ms. Novak is stable for now, but her condition is still critical. We've placed her in a medically induced coma to help her body heal and give it time to recover."

Alex nodded, but it felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. "For how long?" she asked firmly

"It's hard to tell right now, but it shouldn't be more than a couple of days. She's going to be okay."

The doctor gave her a sympathetic look before heading back to where he came from. Alex turned to Olivia. "I'm not leaving," she said adamantly. "Not until I see her."

Olivia nodded, understanding her friend's need to stay close. "I'll stay with you," she offered, her voice gentle.

Alex gave her a grateful smile, appreciating the support. Together, they settled into the uncomfortable hospital chairs to wait for however long it took. For Alex, there was no other option. She wouldn’t leave Casey, no matter what.

Once the hospital staff allowed visitors, Alex was finally permitted to see Casey. She entered the dimly lit room, the steady beep of the heart monitor and the soft hiss of the ventilator the only sounds. Casey lay motionless, her red hair a stark contrast against the white hospital sheets around her.

Alex moved slowly to the bedside and gently took Casey's hand, her fingers trembling slightly. "Hey," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I'm here."

She sat down in the chair beside the bed, never letting go of Casey's hand. "You're going to be okay," she said softly, her voice filled with determination. "You're strong, and you're going to get through this. You have to get through this because I need to tell you how much I love you," she said for the first time out loud, and it hurt her to know that this is what it took for her to finally confess her feelings.

Alex watched Casey's face for any sign of response, getting nothing back. She thought about all the moments they had shared, every moment that had made Alex fall deeper and more intensely in love with her friend. The laughter, the conversations, every coffee date, and every time Casey effortlessly made Alex relax and enjoy the things around them. She couldn't bear the thought of losing Casey, of never telling her how she felt.

Tears slipped down Alex's cheeks as she spoke, her heart breaking for the woman lying so still and silent in the bed. "I promise I'll be here when you wake up," she whispered, squeezing her hand.
__

Three days had passed in a haze of exhaustion and worry. Alex had barely left the hospital, only stepping out long enough to get updates on the case, attend court to finish some cases, and shower.

On the morning of the third day, they had taken her off the ventilator and were waiting for her to wake up. Alex sat by Casey's bed like she had every time she was there, her hand gently holding Casey's. The room was quiet, the silence only broken by the occasional footsteps of nurses in the hallway. She was tracing patterns on Casey's hand when Olivia walked into the room and handed her a cup of coffee.

“Thought you could use it,” Olivia said, offering a small smile when Alex took the cup.

“Thanks,” Alex replied, taking a sip of the hot liquid.

“They took her off the ventilator,” Olivia pointed out, closing the door behind her and noticing how the redhead now had one less thing hooked up to her.

“Yeah.”

Catching how defeated Alex sounded, Olivia placed her hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “She’ll wake up soon, Alex.”

Olivia settled into the chair beside Alex, her eyes flicking between her friend and the unconscious woman in the bed. She noticed the fatigue etched into every line of Alex's face, the exhaustion of getting barely any sleep, keeping up with her work, and spending every moment she could in the hospital taking its toll. However, despite all that, what struck her most was the way Alex face seemed to soften when she looked at Casey. It was a look filled with so much love that it made it clear that Alex was head over heels.

Olivia hesitated, not sure if she should point it out but then spoke softly, “You really love her, don’t you?”

“What?” Alex looked up, surprised by the question.

“I can tell, sweetie.” Olivia almost chuckled because Alex's feelings were desperately obvious to her.

Alex's eyes dropped back to Casey's face, her expression softening even further as she reached out to brush a strand of hair from Casey's forehead. "How could I not?" Her voice broke, letting out a choked breath. "I love her and now she's in a coma because her schizophrenic fiancé beat her, and I never even knew he had schizophrenia, I couldn't even help her. I should’ve asked her more about him. I should’ve told her I love her."

Olivia watched her friend, her heart breaking for her. She had never seen Alex so vulnerable, so openly emotional. "You'll get the chance," she reassured her. "She'll wake up, and you'll tell her everything."

Alex nodded, trying to hold onto that despite not knowing how. "I just need her to be okay," she said quietly feeling Olivia squeeze her shoulder once more

Olivia left a little while later telling her she would be back at lunch, leaving a tired akex who was fighting to stay awake alone. Just as Alex was about to drift off into an uneasy sleep, she felt a slight movement in Casey's hand. Her eyes snapped open, her heart pounding with a mix of hope and fear. She leaned closer, her breath catching in her throat.

Casey's eyes fluttered open, the light catching the green flecks in them. She looked around, disoriented, before her gaze settled on Alex.

"Casey," Alex whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "You're awake."

Casey blinked slowly, trying to focus. Her voice was weak and raspy and Alex immediately helped her sip some water. "Alex... what happened?"

Alex's heart ached at the confusion and pain in Casey's eyes. "You were hurt, Casey. You had internal bleeding. You've been in a medically induced coma for a few days to help you heal."

Casey closed her eyes for a moment, as if trying to process the information. When she opened them again, her gaze was clearer. "Charlie... what about Charlie?"

Alex hesitated, unsure of how to break the news. "Our psychiatrist ruled him incompetent. He's going to be placed in a psychiatric facility."

Casey's expression fell. "He's going to hate that."

"He doesn't have a choice," Alex replied softly. "He can't hurt you anymore."

Casey looked away, shame and tears filling her eyes. “Everything hurts," she whispered.

"I’ll call a nurse," Alex said, watching as a few tears fell down Casey's cheeks. Casey nodded and let out a deep breath, the reality of what had happened settling over her.

Once the nurses had checked Casey over, and assured them that everything looked good and that they would be giving her some medication to help with the pain, they left them alone once more.

Through the nurses checking her over Casey had looked at Alex, studying her face and noticing how the dark circles under her eyes had gotten exponentially bigger. "Did you stay here all this time?"

"As much as I could, yes," Alex told her, making Casey feel bad that Alex had spent the last days sitting on a hospital chair next to her.

Casey shifted a little bit, trying to sit up more, feeling pain shoot through her body. "Alex, I know you have trouble sleeping as it is, and that chair doesn't look comfortable. You're exhausted. You didn't have to stay."

Alex sighed because, of course, even in a hospital bed, Casey would look out for her. "Yes, I did. I just needed you to be okay." She paused, moving to sit by Casey's feet. "I need you to know that... I need you to know that I love you. I think I've loved you since the day I met you." She took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to continue. "I don't expect you to feel the same, and you don't have to say anything. God knows my timing is horrible, but I do. I love you, Casey, and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you." As soon as she was done, she started to panic a little because she had just laid her heart out for someone who probably wouldn’t reciprocate the feeling, who was in love with someone else. And although she had been telling herself that she didn't need to hear it back, she would be lying if she said it wouldn’t destroy her.

Casey looked a bit shocked but quickly recovered, clearing out her throat before she spoke "The first time I saw you," Casey began, her voice soft and a small smile forming on her face, "I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen." She paused, her eyes welling up with tears as she recalled that moment. "I was so miserable that night at the party, dreading going home to see what was waiting for me."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I could never tell what to expect. Sometimes he would disappear for days, other times, he would be paranoid about everything, as if someone was out to get him. And then there were the nights when he got violent."

Casey's voice caught in her throat, and Alex squeezed her hand a little tighter. "But you... you made me laugh. God, it felt like such a rare gift. It made me think of the last time Charlie had made me laugh, and I couldn't even remember."

She let out a shaky breath, the pain of those memories and what her life had become making it hard to breathe. “I broke off the engagement. That’s why he hurt me, why he did this. He was agitated, and it was like I flipped a switch. He was there one minute and then he was gone. I couldn't recognize him.” Casey angrily wiped away a tear that had escaped down her cheek, closing her eyes for a few seconds to try to erase the image of Charlie's paranoid face from her head.

When she had calmed down, she opened her eyes to see piercing blue eyes looking back at her. "What I’m trying and failing to say is that I love you too, Alex," she said firmly, making Alex's breath catch in her throat, overwhelming her with emotion.

Alex moved closer, gently caressing Casey's hand with her thumb. "You do?" she whispered, in disbelief.

Casey gave a small, tired smile, her eyes glazing over. "I do, very much. But I need you to know that I still have a lot to figure out. My life... it's a mess right now, and I don’t know where to go from here."

Alex nodded, her eyes never leaving Casey's. "I understand," she said softly. "You don't have to rush anything.” Alex had to look away for a second, otherwise she would cry and she didn’t feel like crying any more, not when the woman she loved, and almost lost, loved her back. “I'll be here for you, no matter what."

Casey felt a warmth spread through her chest at Alex's words, a sense of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude and affection. "For everything."

Alex leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Casey's forehead, letting her lips linger for a moment. "You're worth it," she murmured against her skin. "You're worth everything."

Chapter Text

Alex was exhausted. The trial had dragged on longer than expected, leaving her on her feet all day. All she wanted now was to kick off her damn heels and spend a quiet evening with Casey. The thought of unwinding together was the only thing that had kept her going through the last grueling hours. Juggling the bags of Chinese takeout she’d picked up on her way home, along with her briefcase, she fumbled for her keys. After a brief struggle, the door finally clicked open, and she sighed with relief as she set everything down on the kitchen table.

As she stretched her aching limbs, Alex could feel the tension in her muscles, her body begging for rest. She let out a deep breath, expecting the familiar sound of Casey’s footsteps or her soft voice greeting her. But the apartment was eerily quiet, too quiet.

“Casey?” Alex called out, her voice echoing through the stillness.

When no response came, a furrow formed on her brow. Usually, Casey would be there to greet her, or at least be within earshot. The silence made her uneasy. She glanced around the kitchen, then the living room, but saw no sign of her.

“Casey?” she called out, her voice echoing through the quiet apartment.

When no response came, she walked through the apartment, checking their home office, half-expecting to find Casey lost in her work. But the room was empty.

“Case? Baby, are you home?” Alex tried again, her voice tinged with concern, the unease in her chest growing with each passing second.

No answer. The quiet was beginning to feel oppressive. She double-checked the downstairs rooms, her anxiety deepening with each empty space she encountered. Finally, she made her way upstairs, her steps quickening as she approached their bedroom. Maybe Casey had simply fallen asleep after a long day, she told herself, trying to quell the rising panic. But when she stepped into the room, her heart sank.

Casey was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed, clutching a picture in her hands. Alex didn’t need to see the photograph to know what it was—she knew it too well. It was a picture of Casey and Charlie, taken long before everything went wrong.

“Casey?” Alex’s voice was soft, hesitant, not wanting to startle her. But the sound still made Casey jump slightly.

Despite her reaction, Casey’s eyes didn’t leave the picture when she spoke, her voice hollow and distant. “He’s dead.”

Alex froze, her breath catching in her throat. She had been expecting a lot when she walked in, especially after seeing the photo in Casey’s hands, but she hadn’t been prepared for this. “What?”

“Charlie’s dead,” Casey repeated, her tone flat, as if she was still trying to process the reality of it herself.

“What do you mean? How do you know he’s dead?” Alex asked, stepping closer slowly, well aware that Casey wasn’t very present at the moment.

Casey swallowed hard, tracing her thumb over Charlie’s face on the picture. She had been so happy that day—they both had been. It was one of her last true happy moments with him. “I got a call from the morgue. A John Doe clipped by a passing cab. No ID, but my business card in his pocket. It was Charlie.”

“Oh, Casey,” Alex whispered, her heart breaking for the woman she loved. The fact that, after everything Casey had been through, she had to go identify his body—Alex couldn’t imagine how hard this was hitting her.

“It’s my fault he’s dead,” Casey murmured, her voice cracking, her eyes never leaving the photograph.

Alex’s chest tightened. She had heard these words before, the relentless self-blame that had haunted Casey for years. All the progress she had made, all the work they had done to help her move past it, seemed to unravel in an instant. “No, it’s not. None of what happened to him is your fault,” Alex insisted, kneeling in front of Casey. Her hand hovered over Casey’s arm, desperate to reach out but afraid of pushing too hard.

“Please, look at me, Case.” She waited, holding her breath until finally, green eyes met blue. Alex almost wished they hadn’t, seeing the raw pain and guilt flashing in Casey’s eyes. “You had to save yourself. It’s not your fault.”

Casey shook her head as tears started to fall. “No, I should’ve helped him. I should’ve… I… Maybe he would still be alive if I hadn't ended things. Maybe if he hadn’t been sent away…” Casey’s voice trailed off as a sob bubbled up in her chest, the weight of her words crushing her.

Alex tried to meet Casey’s eyes again, but her gaze was glued back to the picture. “Casey, maybes weren’t worth your safety, your life,” Alex said gently, like she had done countless times before, every night after Charlie nearly killed Casey and she couldn’t sleep from the guilt of knowing his life had spiraled out of control.

Casey didn’t respond. She just ran her fingers over his printed face again. “He didn’t even look like himself,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “He was so thin and dirty.” She dropped the picture and brought her knees up, hugging them against herself. “He’s dead, Alex. He’s…he’s dead.” She sobbed, finally breaking down completely.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Alex finally reached out, wrapping her arms around Casey, pulling her close.

“He’s dead,” Casey repeated, her voice breaking through her sobs as she finally allowed herself to lean into Alex’s arms and let go.

“I’m so sorry, Case,” Alex murmured, holding her tightly, feeling her girlfriend sob against her, Casey’s face buried in Alex’s chest, her tears soaking through Alex’s shirt.

“I didn’t want him to die. I never wanted him to get hurt,” Casey sobbed, the weight of the guilt she had been harboring for years and the grief for the person she had once loved finally crashing over her.

“I know,” Alex whispered, rocking her gently, offering what little comfort she could in the face of the terrible situation that had unfolded.

Alex let her cry for as long as she needed to, running her fingers through red hair, trying to soothe Casey. Casey who didn’t deserve any of this, who was so good and kind, who wore her heart on her sleeve and tried to help everyone who needed her—Casey who had been dealt a terrible hand.

Once Casey had calmed down and was no longer gasping for breath between broken sobs, Alex pulled back and took Casey's face in her hands. She ran her thumbs under her girlfriend’s eyes, wiping away the tear tracks that had been etched onto her cheeks. Casey looked exhausted, and Alex didn’t really know what to do to fix this.

She settled for the only thing she could think of, making sure her girlfriend had food and rest. They could deal with the rest later. “Have you eaten today?”

Casey leaned her head back against Alex, her cheek brushing against her collarbone. “I’m not hungry.”

Alex knew that meant she had probably not eaten since that morning, and although she wasn’t the leading example of healthy habits, she knew food would make her girlfriend feel better. “You still need to eat a little,” Alex told her and gently kissed the top of her head. “I brought Chinese,” she said, in hopes that it would bring out her girlfriend's appetite.

“I’m tired,” Casey murmured against Alex, her breath warm against Alex’s skin.

“I know you are, baby. How about we eat some food and then go to bed?” Alex suggested, hoping her girlfriend would take her up on the offer. Casey sniffled and nodded her head against Alex, letting the blonde help her stand up and pull her into a tight hug before going to the kitchen together to get some food.

In the end, Casey got a few bites of her plate and ended up pushing around the rest of the food until Alex was done with hers. Alex was at least grateful she ate something. They made their way back to the bedroom, where they changed into pajamas, and Alex could see by that point that her girlfriend was back to functioning on autopilot.

As they climbed into bed, Casey’s movements were slow, her exhaustion evident in every step. Alex watched her closely, seeing the way her mind was still somewhere far away.

Casey settled onto the bed, her hands fiddling with the edge of the blanket, her eyes distant. After a moment, she looked up at Alex, voicing what was on her mind. “I have to call his parents.”

Alex sighed, knowing how heavy that burden must feel for Casey. She sat up on her side of the bed, taking Casey’s hands in her own. “Why don’t you let the medical examiner do that?” she suggested gently.

But Casey shook her head. “They never forgave me for leaving him and landing him in a psych ward. It’s the least I can do.”

Alex’s heart clenched at the self-blame in Casey’s voice. She squeezed Casey’s hands, a tinge of frustration going through her because she was always supportive and wasn’t one to speak ill of the person Casey had once loved, but somehow he always found a way to come and hurt her again, and she was tired of watching her girlfriend fall apart because of him. “You didn’t land him anywhere, Casey. He did it himself.”

Casey’s lips parted, her breath catching as she tried to find the words. “But—”

“No.” Alex cut her off gently, reaching up to cradle Casey’s face in her hands. “It doesn’t matter how many times I have to tell you this, but I will never stop. None of it was your fault. You didn’t deserve what he did, and you don’t deserve to be living with the consequences of his actions.”

Casey’s eyes filled with fresh tears, and Alex could see the weight of years of guilt in her expression—the kind that always killed her and made her want to wrap Casey in a bubble, never letting a single thing hurt her again. “I know you’re hurt and sad about it, and I’m not going to tell you that you’re not allowed to feel that way,” she paused, choosing her next words carefully, knowing how fragile this moment was. “But I won’t let you feel guilty about something that wasn’t your fault.”

“Alex—” Casey’s voice trembled as she tried to protest, her hands fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve, a habit Alex knew well.

Alex reached out, taking Casey’s hands in hers, grounding her. She held Casey’s gaze, her eyes brimming with love and a fierce determination to protect the woman who had changed her life. “Let me finish.”

Alex’s voice softened as she brushed a tear from Casey’s cheek, the touch lingering. “I know you loved him, and maybe a part of you still loves who he used to be. I understand that because he was a significant part of your life, and you were in an incredibly tough spot. But I love you, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for something that was out of your control. You tried to help him at every turn, even when you were close to dying at his hand. You begged me to help him. You are the kindest, most beautiful person I know. It was not your fault, Casey.”

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, there was only the sound of their breathing, the room heavy with emotion. Casey’s breath hitched as she repeated the statement back to Alex, as if testing the words, “It was not my fault.”

“No,” Alex affirmed, her relief palpable as she finally heard the words she had been so desperate for Casey to believe. She could feel the knot in her own stomach loosen, just a bit.

“I tried to help him," Casey said, her voice gaining a hint of conviction as she clung to the thought. It was as though she was trying to convince herself, not just Alex.

“Yes, you did,” Alex whispered back, her thumbs stroking gently across Casey’s cheeks, wiping away the last traces of her tears.

“This feels like a bad dream I can’t wake up from,” Casey murmured, her eyes searching Alex’s for comfort, for anything to make this nightmare that constantly seemed to haunt her bearable.

Alex pulled Casey into her arms, holding her close. “What can I do?” she asked softly, her lips brushing against Casey’s temple.

Casey leaned into her, seeking the safety of Alex’s arms, letting out a shuddered breath. For a moment, she let herself relax, allowed herself to feel the love Alex was offering. “Can you just hold me?” she whispered, her voice small and fragile.

“Always,” Alex promised, tightening her arms around Casey. She rested her cheek against Casey’s hair, closing her eyes determined to hold the love of her life until the waves of grief and guilt subsided.

The room fell silent again, save for the quiet sound of their breathing. Alex’s mind wandered briefly, wondering how many more times they would have to revisit this conversation, how many more nights Casey would need to be reminded that it wasn’t her fault. But for now, in this moment, all that mattered was that Casey was in her arms, and Alex would be there for as long as it took.