Work Text:
Niki was over everything. His hands were shaking, his eyes were stinging from lack of moisture despite the sweat dripping down his face, and his legs were throbbing to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
Almost toppling over bowing goodnight to the dance instructor probably wasn’t the best way to discourage hovering from all of his hyungs, though.
“Yah, Niki, you doing okay? Saw you working awful hard,” Jay said, clapping a hand against Niki’s shoulder. His core hurt from having to brace himself so as to not hit the ground from the force of it.
“I’m fine, hyung,” Niki brushed off, nowhere near the mood to engage in conversation.
“Hey, don’t brush me off, I’m just checking in on you,” Jay frowned at Niki’s tone and unenthusiastic demeanor. Sure, practice had been a lot, but the rest of them had the energy to be polite at least, and Niki could be the most energetic of them all.
Niki winced at the sight of Jay’s frown.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m just having a rough day, I guess,” Niki apologized, tilting forward in a bow barely.
“You alright?” Heavens, another worried hyung.
“I’m fine Sunghoon-hyung, I just-hey!” Niki broke off at the feeling of a hand on his forehead. Heeseung. He should have guessed.
“You’re pretty warm, Niki,” Heeseung said, frowning at the heat he felt on the back of his hand where it was planted against Niki’s forehead. Niki quietly fumed while hyung after hyung started swatting the other’s hand away to check the maknae’s temperature themselves.
“Stop, I’m fine hyungs,” Niki groused, dunking underneath waiting hands and flinging his backpack onto his back, wincing as strained muscles pulled further. Tears stinging at his eyes, he slipped out of the doors, letting them fall behind him with a bang. He didn’t get far before pain, tears, and exhaustion lead him to crouch against the wall.
Niki brought his knees up to his chest, uncaring about how the sweaty fabric felt against his suddenly sensitive skin. Wrapping his arms around his knees, Niki buried his face in the fabrics to block out the bright lights. He just needed a minute…
The door slammed shut behind their maknae’s back, and the remaining members of Enhypen stood in silent shock for a few seconds.
“What has gotten into him?” Jay mumbled under his breath, still slightly stinging from the coarse tone Niki had spoken to him with earlier.
“You heard him, he’s having a rough day. We all have them,” Sunoo spoke up, anxiously rubbing his hand up and down his other arm.
Jake blew out a quick breath, ruffling his bangs.
“Well, let’s go back to dorms, I guess. Maybe a shower and some food will warm him up enough to talk to us.”
Mumbled agreements met those words, and the six of them packed up quickly, making sure to turn off the lights when they were locking up the room.
“Niki?!??”
Jungwon spun around quickly, watching the running backs of his other members who were closer to Sunoo’s cry of their maknae’s name. Jungwon dreaded what they’d find.
By the time Heeseung ran the length of the hallway, Sunoo and Jake had Niki wedged in between them.
“Niki, can you hear us bud?” Jake’s “I’m freaking out but I’m trying to hide it” voice shook a bit, and the eldest did a quick encouragement knee squeeze before refocusing on their maknae, who in the dim lights of the hallway, looked objectively worse than he did during practice.
“Come on, bud, answer Jake, yeah?” Heeseung prompted, concern rising at the listless gaze Niki was sporting. Distantly, he could hear Jungwon on the phone, probably calling a manager or a driver.
After more cajoling brought Niki around enough to swing his head to whoever was talking to him, but not enough to give an answer to their questions, Sunoo asked the question:
“Do we need a hospital?”
Six pairs of eyes went to Niki, who belatedly shook his head negatively.
When shaking his head turned Niki a few shades paler than a sheet of paper, Heeseung made up his mind.
“Call a driver, we’re going to the hospital. Yes, NIki, we are. I know you don’t want to go,” the eldest acknowledged Niki’s whine of disapproval, “but you’re not as responsive as any of us are comfortable with, and I’d rather figure out if something’s wrong wrong or if you just need some extra rest. Come on, heave ho,” the eldest pulled Niki upright, the maknae staying on his feet due to Jake and Sunghoon’s strong holds on his biceps.
The seven of them got downstairs - Jungwon wasn’t sure how, exactly - and got set up in the car that peeled into the parking lot, their manager peering at the ashen face of Niki worriedly as they settled Niki up front, plastic bag within reach.
“Not all of you can go with him, hospital policy right now,” the manager broke the news to the boys as soon as they started moving. Holding up a hand to stave off arguments, he continued.
“I know, I tried. They’ve had a lot of sick people come in recently, and needed to get on top of illness spread. So only one of you can come with us, and we’re dropping the rest of you off on the way. So take the next few minutes to decide so we can make this drop off swift.”
Sullen looks graced the manager, who resolutely did not look in the direction of the backseat.
Three arguments, Niki throwing up, and a pit stop on the side of the road later, all of the boys except Niki and Jay popped out of the vehicle, waving goodbye to Jay and Niki forlornly. The older promised to send them updates, and the car peeled away.
The group marched into their dorm. Sunghoon huffed, stepping his shoes off with gusto.
“We should have all gone with him,” he muttered.
“You heard the manager, the hospital’s policy said only one person can accompany the patient,” Jungwon sighed, all but collapsing into the nearest chair.
“I heard him too, but you know how antsy Niki gets about hospitals,” Sunghoon retorted.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Jake intervened, hands up with palms facing the two. “Let’s not fight about this. It’s out of our hands.”
“Jake’s right,” Heeseung tacked on from where he slipped off his own shoes. “Wash up, change clothes, then come back down. There’s loads of stuff to do around here while we wait for news.”
Grumbles accompanied the five of them as they split up, minds preoccupied with their maknae’s well-being.
Hospitals were generally not among Jay’s favorite places to go, but they were infinitely worse when he had to help hold Niki down so the nurse could try to get an IV on him.
“No, don’t want it,” Niki mumbled, twisting up more under his one allocated sheet to get away from the nurse coming at him with a third attempt at an IV.
“I know, buddy, I know, but it’ll be quick, then it’ll be over, yeah?” Jay murmured in the most soothing tone he could muster. He tried to tamp down on the frustration towards the nurse for having to stick Niki yet again, but they were all dehydrated and with the state of the hospital and the amount of patients there, he was thankful they got a private room and a nurse to see them soon after admission.
The top edge of the mask they forced onto Niki before they took a ton of tests was wet with tears, making the tall maknae look all of about six or seven. A surge of protectiveness rose up in Jay, and he pulled Niki closer to him, using one hand to tuck the younger’s face into the side of his own shoulder.
“Don’t look over there, yeah? Just stay right here, right here,” Jay cooed softly, wincing at the sight of a bruise already forming under the paper tape bandage on Niki’s forearm. Jay could have cried with relief when the nurse finally got the IV in Niki’s hand. She taped it down securely before starting fluids with electrolytes on Niki.
“The doctor will be in here shortly,” she said softly, obviously picking up on her patient’s distress. “He might want labs to be drawn, but someone else will do that. Is there anything else I can get for any of you now?” She asked, looking between the manager, who was standing in the corner with a hand possessively clutched over his stomach where Niki had kicked into him earlier landed, Jay, who was still curled protectively over Niki, and Niki himself, who had one hand clutching onto Jay’s sweaty workout shirt in a death grip and tears slowly leaking out of his eyes.
“A change of clothes, perhaps? And some water,” Jay asked. The nurse nodded in understanding, and left the room, closing the door behind her.
“I’ll let the boys know we’ll be here for a few more hours at least,” the manager said, whipping out his phone to do just that. Jay turned his attention back to his distraught maknae, pulling him out of his neck and shoulder juncture.
“How we doing, honey?” Jay asked quietly, wiping away some of the tears lingering on Niki’s face. Niki nuzzled into the elder’s hand, too worn out to act tough anymore.
“I don’t want to be here.”
“I know, sweetheart, but we need some answers. You were acting weird during and after practice, and then we couldn’t get you to respond to us at all in the hallway. We wanna make sure everything’s okay and manageable. Better to catch it early, yeah?”
Niki shrugged, clearly not convinced. Jay didn’t push the subject, knowing that Niki had enough emotions to process as it was without Jay trying to push his case.
An aide dropped off an extra set of scrubs, and Jay set about changing in the restroom with all haste, dropping his workout clothes in a plastic bag to bring back later and launder.
By the time Jay returned to Niki’s room, a doctor was already in there. Jay walked over to where Niki was looking at his sheets and playing with a loose thread on his hospital shirt, sitting down at what was hopefully a comforting distance from the younger.
“Alright, and how long ago did you start feeling sick?”
Jay whipped his head around to look at Niki, who shrank back into himself. Jay schooled his expression, not wanting Niki to only remember his disappointment.
“A few weeks, I guess.”
A few weeks…lovely. Their maknae had apparently been feeling sick for several weeks, and none of them had noticed. Jay could have screamed.
“And how have you been feeling while sick? Tired, drowsy, stiff, etc?” The doctor asked, annoying typing away at the transportable computer the nurse had wheeled in with her.
“I’ve been more tired, but our schedules have been harder, too. My throat’s been sore some too, I guess, and I wake up stiff most mornings, but that’s nothing really unusual,” Niki replied quietly, wrapping the loose thread around and around his finger until it turned white before unwrapping it and doing it again. The Japanese boy was determinedly not looking at the IV sticking out of his hand, nor Jay and what Niki knew would be a concernedly disappointed look on his face, nor the doctor himself. He was fine, just tired. Nothing was wrong with him, he was just tired and too weak to muscle it up like the rest of his hyungs. He was fine.
“Alright, I’d like to draw some labs, to see what your white blood cell count looks like, along with some others things too. Would that be okay?” The doctor asked, finger hovering over the mouse like he knew what Niki’s answer would be.
A silent nod from the younger was enough to send off the lab orders, and the doctor got ready to leave.
“Doctor, what do you think is going on?”
The doctor smiled sympathetically.
“I have a few guesses, but we need those labs to rule out any severe problem. I’d guess probably anemia, but like I said, we really need those lab values. I’ll be back around in a bit, hit that call light if you need anything. Phlebotomy should be in here in a few moments.”
The lab draw itself was less painful than the IV in regards to the amount of tears shed, but Jay got a little sick looking at the nine vials of blood the phlebotomist took. The manager left soon after the phlebotomist, saying he was going to call his wife and try to grab them all some food from the cafeteria. With no more witnesses to be seen, Jay went into full on mama-bear mode, as the maknaes called it. Normally, Niki would be one of the biggest participants in teasing Jay about his mama bear tendencies, but he just sat listlessly in the hospital bed, moving as he was moved.
When Jay finally decided Niki was as tucked in and comfortable as he was going to get, he dragged over the chair, settling beside the younger while being able to keep an eye on the door. Shifting to pull out his phone to update the others, he paused when a hand snagged on his (admittedly quite soft) borrowed pants.
Hands encircling the cool and slightly shaking one, Jay turned his whole attention on the worn out teenager.
“What’s up, bud?” Jay asked quietly, thinking about sending the manager a text to turn off the lights when he came back, in case Niki could grab some sleep. Although, with the way Niki kept loosing focus and closing his eyes, the younger might be able to sleep with the bright light anyway.
A deep sigh and some shifting later, Niki finally responded.
“I’m sorry about how I was acting earlier. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful or a brat, I just…I don’t know. Couldn’t handle it?”
Jay’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“Couldn’t handle what, kiddo?”
“Couldn’t…couldn’t keep up. Didn’t want to…to…disappoint,” Niki’s voice got weaker as he started to nod off completely, one of Jay’s hands reaching up to gentle the drop onto the pillow.
Jay kept one hand holding Niki’s, and the other rubbing back and forth through Niki’s hair. They had missed something…something big. If Niki didn’t feel like he could come to any of them with him feeling sick… Jay didn’t want to continue that thought, so instead he just sat, keeping watch over his maknae.
Six hours, another fluid bag, and some of the best unknown-origin Mac n cheese of Jay’s memory later, the trio were heading out of the hospital at a rate slightly faster than a snail, a diagnosis of mononucleosis, dehydration, and anemia hanging over Niki’s shoulder. After getting Niki set up in the backseat, Jay sat next to him, watching as their manager drove them to a pharmacy to pick up electrolyte replacements, iron supplements, extra water bottles, and some fever reducers. Based off the number of bags the manager left the pharmacy with, he picked up more than that, but Jay wasn’t particularly concerned.
Niki was out like a blown out candle by the time the car was parked at their dorm. Jay’s assumption of the rest of them still being up regardless of the late hour was confirmed when Heeseung came flying out of the door, with more heads peeking out of the door frame or out the window from under the curtain. Heeseung must have told them to stay inside and not overwhelm them, Jay thought, chuckling to himself. Between the three of them, everyone got inside the dorm, the manager dropping the pharmacy bags on the couch before leaving while Jay and Heeseung guided the worn out maknae into the nearest lower bunk (which happened to be Jake’s). Sunoo and Jungwon, having followed them, quickly went into full cuddle mode.
“No blankets yet, you two. We gotta take his temperature again,” Jay tiredly instructed, seeing the fleece lined blanket that was well-beloved and hand made from Sunoo’s grandma.
“He’s still running a fever??” Jungwon exclaimed, worriedly feeling for heat coming off Niki.
“And they discharged him??” Sunoo added, incredulous. Heeseung just stood up fully and stared at Jay, waiting for an answer.
Jay took his time taking Niki’s temperature - still elevated, better since the fever reducer given at the hospital - before gesturing for them all to go into the main area, so as to talk and not wake up Niki.
Sunghoon and Jake had put up most of what was in the pharmacy bags by the time the four returned, and they all watched Jay tiredly sit down and run a hand through his hair.
“Well??” Sunghoon broke the silence first, from the looks of it only barely beating some of the others.
“He has mono, he’s dehydrated, and he’s anemic,” Jay said, leaning back into the couch cushions, enjoying the stretch in his lower back.
“He has…what? Mono? Who’d he kiss?” Jake asked, confusion written over every inch of his face.
“He kissed somebody?!” Sunoo exclaimed.
“Woah, woah, woah now. Let’s let Jay elaborate some before we all go attacking Niki, okay?” Jungwon said in one of his “I’m saying this like a question but it’s an instruction and you have no choice in it” tones.
“Firstly, mono is spread through saliva, which is why most of us thought of kissing at first. But anything - water fountains, water bottles, shared utensils, etc - can spread the virus. The doctor figured Niki had mono for about a month before starting displaying symptoms about three weeks ago, so Niki probably has about another month or two before this settles down. He needs to rest, drink lots of water, and we need to keep his fever under control.
“Secondly, his iron was low, so he has some supplements for it somewhere in the pharmacy bag. He’s supposed to take one once a day and get it rechecked in a week or two.
“Thirdly, apparently he didn’t say anything about feeling sick because he didn’t want to disappoint us.”
Silence rang so loudly in the dorm Sunghoon’s ears hurt.
“Why would we be disappointed?” The former skater asked, breaking the silence first. The idea that Niki had felt like he couldn’t go to them with his concerns and feelings was…heartbreaking, to say the least. From the shocked expressions around the room, Sunghoon knew he wasn’t the only one to be thrown from Jay’s speech.
“I don’t know, we didn’t get that far before he fell asleep,” Jay said, sinking more and more into the couch cushion, looking like he was just gonna stay the night there.
Heeseung seemed to have the same idea.
“Well, there’s nothing else for us to do tonight about it. Let’s get to bed, and we’ll work on everything in the morning.”
The other five concurred with the eldest, and after hauling Jay out of his cushion, they trooped upstairs, Jay heading to shower (finally) and Jake heading to sleep over in Niki’s bed.
Before flopping into his bed, Jay took one of Niki’s stuffed friends and tucked it into Niki’s curled up form. Watching with a smile as the younger shifted to more securely hold the stuffed friend, Jay just breathed for a few moments to try and get rid of some of his stress. Whatever tomorrow had, they’d be okay. They’d made it this far.
4am was a dreadful time to be awake, but when it came to hyung-protective-mode, Sunghoon was up well before Niki’s next dose of fever reducers were due.
As soon as it was close enough to give Niki his meds, Sunghoon was heading into the dimmed room, armed with an ice pack, fever reducers, pain medications, a cup of water, and a cup of juice in case water didn’t sound good at the time.
Knocking on the door oh so quietly, Sunghoon snuck into the dimmed room, instantly seeing the lump under Sunoo’s plaid blanket, fluffy black hair peeking out of the top to lay haphazardly on the pillow. Tiptoeing closer, Sunghoon sat on the edge of the mattress, juggling his load so he had a free hand to stroke the hair off Niki’s forehead. He frowned, flipping his hand to better gauge Niki’s temperature. Too high for his liking.
“Niki…Niki, come on, wake up for me. Just a little bit, there you go. Take your time, it’s alright. I know, you’re so tired, aw, honey,” Sunghoon cooed softly, feeling his heart squeeze watching Niki blink rapidly to keep the tears that instinctively welled up from falling. He looked so miserable.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, come on,” with some mild grunting, the youngest got situated with a pillow behind his back and neck, leaning halfway on the headboard and halfway on Sunghoon, who shuffled around his stash until he could find the thermometer.
“Under your tongue, bud,” he whispered, letting Niki keep his head securely in the dip between his shoulder and neck. While the thermometer was reading, Sunghoon gently guided the paper tape off of Niki’s arms, where the older assumed the younger had had to get IVs the day before. Or attempted to get an IV, Sunghoon thought ruefully, eyeballing the bruises evident even in the dark with distain. When the thermometer started to beep, Sunghoon dislodged it, heart squeezing at the higher than before number.
“Alright, lets get some meds into you. You want some water or some juice?”
A moment of silence, then another. Niki shuffled around, as though uncomfortable. Still no response.
“Niki? Which one you want?”
“I wanna go home,” came the next to silent reply.
Sunghoon frowned even as his heart lurched in sympathy for the maknae. Niki wasn’t one to display all of his emotions for them to see; they had to watch for the little telltale signs of these huge emotions he was feeling. Being homesick wasn’t unusual, particularly for those whose family wasn’t close by. And Sunghoon could relate with wanting to go home when sick - nothing made being sick easier than being home with your family to look out for you. But for Niki to say it? Out loud? Oof.
“I’m sorry, Niki-ah,” Sunghoon whispered into the ruffled hair tickling his neck. Sniffles came from where Niki has curled into the older, and for a time they just sat in the dark and quiet.
“Come on, Niki, take these,” Sunghoon coaxed, two pills and a cup of water at the ready.
“I’m sorry I’m being such a problem,” Niki whispered, hand tightening into a fist, caught in Sunghoon’s t-shirt.
“What on earth are you talking about, hmm? You aren’t a problem, never have and never will be,” Sunghoon replied vehemently, pulling the younger farther into his hold as though to banish such thoughts from his mind.
“But you’re all always…there for me, and then I act like a brat but then sometimes I’m supposed to be an adult and I am an adult but I’m supposed to act like I’m not and I don’t know when or what to do and you’re all busy and worried and I don’t want to add but I don’t know what to do,” Niki huddled deeper into Sunghoon, shoulders shuddering with sobs.
Sunghoon took a deep breath in, and wrapped the blanket tighter around them both. The thought of calling another hyung for reinforcements crossed his mind, but Niki spoke some truth - they had all been really busy lately, and Sunghoon felt he should at least try before breaking someone out of their slumber.
“Aish, Niki-ah, how long have you been bottling all this up, hmm?” Sunghoon asked, one hand coming up to cradle the back of Niki’s head, thumb brushing his neck like a metronome. Sunghoon waited until some more of the sobs had trickled into sniffles before continuing.
“Niki-ah, listen to hyung right now. You are worthy of all of our attention, and we give it to you not out of obligation but out of care and love. There is no one else we would ever want as our maknae. Don’t let some comment or staff member dictate how you act - you have a good head on your shoulders, so use it, and adapt to the situation and how you are feeling. Sometimes, we must be more serious, but that doesn’t mean you cannot let off some steam or energy running around with one of us. We don’t act only serious all the time, why should you? And never ever worry about whether we are too busy for you - all of us will gladly make time for you anytime, and if we don’t you need to give us a kick in the pants because we need to get our heads right.” Sunghoon smiled at the huff he got from Niki at that.
“Niki, you come to us anytime, anyplace, about anything, you got it? Hmmm?” A shy nod. Sunghoon passed on it for now, but knew that once he talked to everyone else about this conversation, Niki would be hearing such a line much more often, and would hopefully start believing it more.
“Alright, enough serious talk right now, you’re dropping like a fly, honey,” Sunghoon cooed at the disgruntled, sleepy glare he got as he helped maneuver the exhausted maknae under the blanket and fluffed the pillow back up from where it got squashed.
A hand clutching at his shirt stopped Sunghoon from getting too far from the bed.
“Hyung? Stay?” came a timid voice, slurred with fever and tiredness, “just, until I fall asleep?”
Any person who could resist such a plea had no heart nor a soul.
“Anytime, maknae-ah,” Sunghoon replied, settling in on top of the bed, fiddling with Niki’s hair once the maknae got comfortable with his head on the elder’s lap and stuffed friend tight within his clutches.
Dawn’s first rays shown through the window, highlighting the sleep rumpled rest of the maknae line, sneaking through the hallway, freezing with panic at every floorboard squeak and hyung shuffle.
Sunghoon’s eyes blinked open at the faint sound of a door opening, and he blinked into his vision the heads of Sunoo and Jungwon, both peering around the door frame with big eyes and messy hair. Suppressing a smile (not totally succeeding), Sunghoon waved them in, turning his head to make sure Niki slept through the rustling. The maknaes carefully got comfortable on the bed, taking up vigil over their youngest.
The sensation of fingers running through his hair was Niki’s first sign he was waking up, the feeling of a truckload of exhaustion, mixed with the uncomfortable feeling of a fever, a close second.
“Hyung?” Niki mumbled, coiling into himself as his head started to throb.
Several pairs of hands suddenly rested on him, and the reliable voices of his hyungs helped Niki settle down a little more, wiggling to be more snugly under the blanket.
“Don’t go too deep there, Niki,” Jake teased as he unearthed the rumpled maknae, “need you to drink some water and take some meds, okay? Jay is almost done with breakfast.”
“Gotta get up?” Niki mumbled questioningly.
“Nah, we don’t have schedules for a few days. Jungwon-ah got us a couple days off.”
Jungwon was the best.
A couple sips of water and a few giant pills later, the maknae was feeling a little better.
“Feel like getting out of bed?” the Australian asked at Niki’s restlessness, helping to free the younger’s foot from where it was wrapped in the blanket.
“Gotta bathroom,” Niki sighed, already out of energy from just sitting up by himself. Jake hummed, hands reaching over to help (or further mess up, Niki didn’t know, nor did he really care right now) with the bird’s nest atop his head.
“Maybe brush your teeth while you’re in there?” Niki nodded; it was weird how he hadn’t noticed the taste of gone-too-long-without-brushing in his mouth until then, but it was suddenly very noticeable and annoying.
“Want me to go with you? Or someone else?” Jake asked, trying not to step on any toes by being overbearing. The Australian cooed at Niki as he pulled his shirt sleeve down to rub his eyes with it.
“I’m tired,” Niki replied, not answering Jake’s question.
“Tired like you didn’t sleep well? Or tired like being physically and mentally overworked?”
“…both?” Niki questioned, the two of them huffing laughs at each other with his response.
“You’ll get your energy back, Niki-ah,” Jake soothed. “The iron supplements will help with your anemia, and we’ll be better about eating more fortified foods - Jay will probably have a field day trying out some new recipes. And the mono won’t last forever. Try to take this time to slow down a little, yeah? And let us in and keep us in the loop about things.”
Niki nodded, trying to digest his hyung’s words.
Jake rubbed Niki’s shoulders encouragingly.
“Go to the bathroom, freshen up a little bit. Meet us downstairs if you feel like it, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Niki huffed quietly, dragging himself into the bathroom, thankful that he was as close to the bathroom as he was.
An unknown amount of time later (it felt like ages to Niki’s aching and sore body), the Japanese boy finally reached the main level. A tight hold on the handrail of the stairs was the only thing that got him through a sudden dizzy spell.
“Woah there,” came someone’s distorted voice. A cacophony of footsteps preceded several hands grabbing onto the maknae and guiding him to the ground.
When Niki felt like he was no longer swaying, he blinked his eyes open - when had he closed them? - to see two pairs of wide brown eyes looking at him.
“There you are, maknae-ah,” Heeseung greeting, watching with relief as a little more color came to Niki’s cheeks - his heart had just about stopped when he looked up from his phone to see Niki swaying at the bottom of the stairs, pale as toothpaste.
“You doing okay?” Sunoo asked, concern etched into his facial expression. Niki decided right then and there that he never wanted to be the reason for such concern on Sunoo’s - and any of his hyungs - faces.
“Honey?” Niki was jolted back into the present by a slightly chilled hand brushing his bangs back to rest on his forehead, drifting down to cradle his face. Now, Niki could identify Jake and Sunghoon crouched in front of him as well.
“Shh, Niki-ah, take some deep breaths, it’s alright,” another voice calmed. Niki hadn’t even realized he had started taking fast and shallow breaths until a hyung was putting a soothing hand to weigh on his chest just right, and another counted a steady rhythm for breathing.
Niki lost some more time, and he was on the couch, a blanket being draped around him, and a warm body on either side of him. Niki took a shaky breath.
“Hyung?”
A plethora of voices sounded, all soft and gentle and soothing and exactly what Niki needed to hear.
“Hyung,” he repeated, this time more of a plea. For what, he wasn’t sure. Maybe a hug, another day off. Maybe a shoulder to cry on. Maybe understanding and acceptance about what he was going through. Maybe any of those.
“Maknae-ah, we’re all right here.”
“Niki, you’re safe here.”
“Never gonna leave you.”
“Let them out, Niki, we got you.”
Niki hadn’t realized he had started to cry until that statement. He had almost anticipated a breakdown of some sort - he had felt the undertow of too many big emotions lately to avoid one - but had readied himself for a very obvious one with lots of sobs echoing through the room. This silent crying felt like a representation of his inner self, in that moment - numbingly emotional, too exhausted to even cry properly.
Arms tightened him into a hug, and several more surrounded them until Niki felt cocooned. Why it was easier to breath smashed underneath six humans, he may never know, but he was thankful for the oxygen he felt he was able to inhale better.
“Just breathe, honey. Everything will turn out alright in the end. You’re so brave to have made it so far; let us help you now,” the sound of his home language was a soothing balm to his soul, and Niki made sure to squeeze the hand of the hyung responsible in gratitude.
They’d made it this far, after all. They could keep going. Together.