Chapter Text
Kageyama Miwa was not her brother's mother. She never yelled at him to do his chores or go to bed on time.
Sometimes, on occasion, she would have to tear off her headphones and storm into the room next to hers, banging furiously on Tobio's door and shouting for him to stop throwing a ball incessantly at their shared wall. Sometimes, when their parents were busy (which was usually), she'd be the one to walk him to school in the mornings, making sure he got there safely and on time. But that was all typical older sister stuff.
She was not his mother, and so she didn't know what to do on the day of their grandfather's funeral.
It was inevitable, of course. He was getting older and sicker. She remembered all the calls leading up to the bad news, how each report became less and less detailed, as if her mother was willing to give less of the truth away. Still, she found herself in a stunned shock upon receiving the final news.
She stood next to Tobio, silent. Her brother had always been rather quiet, but today his silence was crushing. She glanced his way. He'd grown taller than her since she'd graduated, a clear sign of the times that had passed, but his face was still the same, still as boyish as ever. Miwa was not his mother, but she knew enough to read through his exterior. She knew Tobio loved Grandpa Kazuyo more than anyone, and now he was gone. Maybe he was curled away in his own mind, still trying to process what had happened.
She stayed at home that week, encouraged to work through her grief among family. Miwa was glad for that. She felt as though she might be needed at home. Besides, she didn't think she could possibly hear anyone else's condolences to her without breaking.
"It's going to be alright," her mother said, sitting down at the table with a steaming mug of tea. Her expression was numb, and her tone suggested that she was telling it more to herself than to anyone around her. Miwa's father stood silently in the kitchen, his eyes trained on the sun setting in the horizon, painting the skies grey-pink. Miwa had never seen her father cry. She was afraid that she was about to.
Tobio had hid away upstairs as soon as the family had gotten home, not saying a word. Miwa had watched him nearly trip over the stairs as he rushed to get away.
"Could you go talk to him?" Their mother had asked.
Miwa had just shook her head. "I don't think he would want me to."
Miwa had walked past her brother's room later that night, towel over her shoulder and hair dripping cold water onto the floorboards. She paused at the sound of a muffled sob.
The door to Tobio's room was open by a crack. Miwa couldn't help but reach over, pushing it open with a soft creak. The hall light flooded into the dark room, illuminating Tobio curled up on his bed. His shoulders shook, and although Miwa couldn't see his face, she knew he'd been crying.
He didn't respond to her stepping into his room.
"...Tobio?" Miwa said quietly. Are you ok? Her mind thought. She already knew the answer, though.
Tobio went still as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Still, he refused to say a word, stubbornly silent as ever.
Miwa leaned sideways, glancing at him. His face was stained with tears and more threatened to fall. Still just a boy and incredibly young. She couldn't imagine going through this at his age.
Miwa wasn't her brother's mother, she didn't know what the right thing to do was. "Come here," she murmured quietly.
Tobio waited a moment before slowly sitting up and burying himself into her embrace, letting out quiet sobs into her shoulder. Miwa was quiet, trying to comfort him as best she could.
Miwa was not Tobio's mother, but she promised she would look after him regardless.
Life went on after that. Miwa returned to college. Everyone seemed to forget Grandpa Kazuyo. Everyone except Tobio.
The night of their grandfather's funeral was the last time the two siblings had shared a close bond like that. Miwa got busier with work and school. Tobio reached out less and less. The two simply drifted apart.
She could feel it even when she was visiting home, too.
"Fine," Tobio would answer in a deadpan voice as whenever Miwa asked how practice went. "Same as ever." He always brushed past her as quickly as he could to get to his next task.
Miwa and Tobio had been some ways apart since she'd graduated. But now, what had only been a few feet had turned into a mile. Tobio just wasn't interested anymore.
He got angrier, she thought. Of course, it was usual for a boy his age to experience a range of emotions like this. But sometimes, she wondered if he was just angry over Grandpa Kazuyo.
She wished she knew how to help him.
One weekend she was visiting, Miwa decided to attend one of her brother's volleyball matches, in hopes she could connect with him more. She was appalled by his act on the court. No, not his skill during each set, but his attitude to everything else. Never in her life had she seen him so unhappy doing the thing he loved.
"What was that, earlier?" She prompted him, leaning against the doorframe.
Tobio was hunched over his desk. "Nothing. Leave me alone."
Miwa frowned. "What are you doing?"
"Homework."
"Bullshit." She clicked her tongue. "You and I both know you never do your schoolwork."
"Yeah, well," he shrugged nonchalantly. "That's why I'm catching up now then, isn't it?"
He spoke as if that was the end of their conversation and Miwa's cue to go away. She didn't. She never gave up that easily.
"Tobio." No response. "Hey, Tobio."
"What?" Tobio snapped. "What is it?"
She cleared her throat. "Is everything ok?"
He was silent. Ah. Just as she had suspected.
"You looked so bitter today out there." She continued. "What the hell happened? I thought you loved volleyball."
"I do." Tobio said firmly. His confidence was there, but the words felt empty and devoid of meaning.
Miwa watched his back for a bit longer, waiting for him to say more, hoping for an opening. Something that would signal her back into his life.
Tobio did not turn around.
She breathed out a sigh. "Yeah," she said, turning around. "Ok."
"Great." Tobio said bitterly. "Now get out of my room."
Tobio didn't get into Shiratorizawa.
Miwa was stunned. She had thought that, surely, her little brother was talented enough to be invited. She didn't know what could've gone wrong.
"I told him he should've studied more." Their mother sighed to Miwa that spring. "Really, if he had just stopped relying on that silly dream of his..."
Miwa stopped listening after that. Volleyball was more than a dream for Tobio. It was his life. She knew that much.
"Mom," she protested. "Lighten up on him, would you?"
Miwa did not talk as much to Tobio as she would've liked to during his break. She knew she should have. She just couldn't figure out a way how to, especially after what she had heard was a crushing defeat for his volleyball team.
She had tried asking about it.
"How'd it go?" She asked casually.
"Stop bothering me."
An immediate door in the face.
Tobio was no longer angry. Just... sad. Miwa wasn't sure which one she hated more.
Tobio went to Karasuno High with no complaint. Granted, he did most things with zero complaint, except for talking to his family a little more.
Miwa thought he'd be devastated about attending Karasuno, especially after the (admittedly, minimal) searching she'd done about them. Karasuno. The Fallen Crows. What kind of future did he see in that?
She didn't understand why Tobio hadn't chosen to attend Aoba Johsai, just as most others from Kitagawa Daiichi had done. But when she'd asked about it, he'd simply shrugged it off and told her it "wasn't a big deal."
("Wasn't a big deal?" Wasn't Aoba Johsai a high ranking school for volleyball? How could he have stopped caring so quickly?)
She worried deeply for her little brother, concerned for his health physically and mentally. She messaged her parents every week, asking to make sure if Tobio was eating enough, sleeping enough, and keeping up with schoolwork. (That last one had an exception to it. Miwa might have become more concerned if Tobio had actually cared about it.)
"What if he's lying to our parents?" Miwa asked nervously, picking up a comb. "What if he's getting worse and Mom just won't tell me about it?"
Her co-worker gave her a nervous glance. "Miwa, please," she said nervously. "You're going to hurt one of our clients."
That's when Miwa noticed what she had picked up was not a comb, but clippers.
"Go visit your family," she was urged, after profusely apologizing for her blunders that week. "Please, we don't want you to be so stressed all the time."
So Miwa did. She went home more often, saw her brother more often.
The good news was that her parents had not been omitting any truth to her, he did look healthy. In fact, he seemed calmer than she had seen him be in years. Maybe time had finally taken its toll.
"Miwa?" Miwa jumped as she heard her name called through her open door. Tobio was standing there, staring.
"Yeah?" She said, frantically pulling her headphones off. "What's up?"
Tobio shuffled his feet a bit. "Can I...?" He trailed off. "Do you have a spare notebook by any chance?"
She blinked.
She must have been staring wide-eyed at her brother for a while, because he began shifting his weight awkwardly. "Uh, it's ok if you don't," he mumbled.
"No, no!" She yelped, a little too loudly as she saw Tobio jump a little. "It's fine, it's fine. I have one, just give me a second." She opened a drawer and rummaged around it for a second, cursing at herself for being to unorganized during her high school years.
"Here," she said, getting up and handing it to Tobio. "It might have a few scribbles in it, but other than that, it should be empty."
Tobio took it. "Thanks," he said, shutting the door behind him as he left.
Miwa will admit it, she was a nosy person. So of course, later, she had her ear pressed up to her brother's door, curious what on earth he could be working on.
She thought she heard some static cheering, a broadcaster's voice, and the squeaking of sneakers against the floor, a pen in the real word clicking loudly over the sounds of all of it.
She was so focused on the quiet sounds of a pen scraping against paper that she didn't hear her mother sneaking up behind her.
"Miwa?" That was the second time that evening she had nearly been scared to death by a family member. "What are you doing?"
"Uh..." Miwa lifted her towel, giving a crooked smile. "Showering! Gotta go!"
She heard her mother sigh loudly behind her as she dashed off, muttering a word that sounded an awful lot like "Children..."
Miwa ran into Tobio at the convenience store one day.
Well, not quite. What she'd really done was spotted him there next to someone else, which prompted her to duck behind a nearby stack of boxes, listening from around the corner.
Yeah, yeah, she knew she was being nosy. But she just couldn't help it. How could she? She was sure Tobio was bound to clam up about his personal life as long as he knew she was there to know about it.
"Are you done yet?" Came her brother's irritated-sounding voice.
"Hm," came a voice Miwa didn't recognize. "Not yet. Hey, do you think I should buy four for the special deal, or just get the two I need?"
Tobio snorted. "Do you even have to ask? Get four, dumbass, you'll save more long term."
The other voice gasped. "You're right! You're so clever, Kageyama, what would I ever do without you?" His comment was immediately followed by a quiet ouch! sound. "What was that for?!"
"Quit mocking me," Tobio said, his voice getting farther and farther away.
"I'm not! I'm not, yeesh..."
Their voices out of earshot, Miwa continued her browsing of the shelves. When she heard a, "Don't get lost on the way home, you two!" from the other end of the store, she knew it was safe to walk back out.
She walked up to the man in the apron, who was now nose deep in a newspaper article. He put it down as he noticed her standing there. "Find everything ok?" He asked.
Miwa nodded out of politeness. "Did you know the two guys that just left?"
"Who? Those volleyball club first years?" He shrugged. "Sure. Their little group comes by every now and then. They're good kids, for the most part. The important thing is that they're my business."
Miwa paid for her goods and started on her walk home. She bought a pork bun to go and was slowly chewing on it along the way. Tobio was making friends, she thought. She then felt a rush of relief. Good. Her brother's life wasn't in ruins after all, like she had worried.
Later that evening, she passed Tobio's bedroom again, the door wide open.
Tobio was sitting in his chair, leaned back and knees propped up against his desk, glancing down at the flip phone in his hands. He seemed to be busy with typing something.
Once he'd finished, he looked up, noticing Miwa watching him through his open doorway. He gave her a confused look. "What?" He said.
She blinked. "Nothing." She answered.
When there was a knock at the door, Miwa stumbled off of the couch to her feet to go open it.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," she said, hearing the knocking get louder. Maybe it was Tobio, back from wherever he'd run to and back from that afternoon. Maybe he'd just forgotten his house keys.
But when she opened the door, all she found was another young boy. Tobio's age, for certain, but definitely not Tobio.
The boy, too, seemed surprised to see her. "Oh," he blurted.
Oh, Miwa's head thought.
The boy who was Tobio's age suddenly went red, clearly embarrassed at his less than polite greeting. "Um, is Kage- I mean is your s... brother...?" The boy stared at Miwa, trying to gauge what the appropriate way to address her was.
If I could be Tobio's mother, how old do I really look? Miwa wondered, considering the idea of a new hairstyle. She pushed her thought aside for a moment. "Yeah, I'm Tobio's older sister," she said, as friendly as possible in hopes that the embarrassment wouldn't kill the poor boy.
Luckily, it did not. "Yeah... so if your brother around by any chance?" The boy asked.
Miwa crossed her arms. "He's not at home right now." She told him. "You want to come in and wait, or...?"
The boy seemed a bit disappointed, but bounced back immediately. "No, it's fine." He said, waving it off. "I can just find him later."
"Oh." Miwa raised an eyebrow. "You want me to take a message or anything?"
The boy hesitated for a moment. "No." He said. "And... don't mention it to him that I was here." He paused for a moment. "Please," he quickly added.
The boy was odd, but no odder than her family's Tobio was. The boy certainly seemed to have more energy than him though.
Miwa leaned against the door way as the boy walked away. "Hey, what's your name, kid?" She called.
The boy looked back in surprise, halfway in the process of getting on his bike. "Hinata!" He shouted. "Hinata Shoyo!"
As Hinata was leaving, Miwa spotted the words on the back of his jacket: Karasuno High Volleyball Club.
Huh, she thought, closing the door. How odd.
That Hinata boy was back again, walking alongside Tobio. They were chatting about something. Well, arguing, more like.
Tobio was shouting at him. Not in the same way Miwa had seen him do so during last year. It didn't hold the same unbridled anger.
Hinata seemed to be laughing. Miwa watched Tobio roll his eyes. She watched through the window as the two said their goodbyes.
Tobio walked through the front door, shrugging off his jacket.
"Who was that ginger kid you were walking with?" She asked, making poor Tobio jump in surprise.
He stared at her, eyes wide. "Were you watching us?"
Miwa immediately felt embarrassed. "I just was passing by the window and I saw you guys," she lied.
Tobio glanced away. "No one," he said, clearly lying. "Just... a teammate." He sighed. "I'm going upstairs to my room."
Miwa watched him walk away, but not without catching the glimpse of a smile on his face.
It was obvious that this "teammate" of Tobio's, Hinata, was a bigger deal to him than he wanted to let on.
Miwa could tell from a mile away. Growing up, she never thought she'd ever seen Tobio hang out with anyone his age. It had always been him, herself, and Grandpa Kazuyo. It was as if the baby bird was finally leaving the nest.
(She couldn't help her protective tendencies. Tobio was a good kid. She wasn't about to let anything happen to him.)
Sometimes Miwa attended a few of Tobio's matches, watching Karasuno fly much farther than she had predicted.
It was nice to see Tobio back out there, just like he used to be. Happier, freer, and radiating an energy she hadn't seen in him since he was twelve.
After every match she went to, she walked Tobio walk off with his team, looking as though he felt like he belonged, and always next to that Hinata kid.
She didn't understand the nature of their team bonding, or whatever. But she could tell that Hinata made her brother happy. That was enough.
Miwa began to see a shift as time went on.
She spotted Hinata walking her brother home more often, or her brother arriving home late after tending to some "business."
"Dumbass teammate of mine got himself injured during practice today," he complained once. "I had to walk him home."
It didn't take a genius to guess who that teammate of his was.
It finally hit Miwa on the head like a ton of bricks one afternoon, as she watched Hinata and her brother talk just out front of their home.
They were arguing. Well, bickering seemed more accurate. Tobio had this petty grin on his face that Miwa was sure she'd never seen on him before. The bickering went on for several minutes, and shouting got louder. Miwa started to wonder if she should burst out there and stop it herself.
That's when she was interrupted by a sound she nearly didn't recognize. Surprised, she glanced outside.
Her brother was laughing. Genuinely laughing, probably at something Hinata had just said.
Miwa watched the two in awe.
Truly, she couldn't remember the last time her brother had looked so joyful.
Miwa had scrambled to get back into the kitchen, opening up a magazine, looking as though she hadn't been spying in on her brother's personal life.
She heard the door open and shut. What she didn't expect was Tobio walking into the kitchen, a ghost of a smile on his face.
She looked up. "You seem happy." She commented.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tobio retorted, opening the cupboard to grab an empty glass before filling it with tap water.
Miwa grinned, lying back in her seat. "It's that boy again, isn't it," she said casually. "That one on your volleyball team?"
She heard a choking sound, immediately snapping her neck back up to check on her brother.
Tobio had taken a swig of his glass of water, only to sputter at Miwa's offhanded comment. His face was turning red and he looked absolutely stunned.
"Who?" He stammered.
Miwa stared at him. "Are you ok?"
Tobio ignored her, chugging down the rest of his glass of water and turning away. "I'm going upstairs." He mumbled.
She watched her brother quickly retreat out of the room, the tips of his ears slightly pink.
Her jaw dropped.
That evening, Kageyama Miwa had come to two realizations.
One, her little brother wasn't so little anymore.
Two, he was in love with his best friend.
Now that Miwa knew what was really going on this whole time, she didn't think she could keep up with this "will they, won't they" any longer.
Hinata seemed to insist on walking Tobio home almost every evening now. It was extremely endearing to see, yet incredibly painful to watch how long these two would drag this out.
Miwa so badly wanted to intervene, but every time she so much brought up the volleyball club at home now, she was immediately shut down by Tobio getting defensive about it.
"It's just a club." Tobio said, which was the understatement of the year, and Miwa knew. It meant to much more to him than just a club.
Miwa had stopped trying to pry anything out of him anymore. She had also stopped watching out of the windows anymore. Partially because she felt bad for being nosy, and partially because she thought she would pull all her hair out with how much they were stressing her out.
She so badly wanted to grab her younger brother by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. But she knew no matter how hard she could try to push him, she could never force him to let go of his safety he felt with just staying as a friend.
Tobio had started back on his morning runs now. He'd been doing them ever since middle school. Every morning, once a week at sunrise, the boy would get up and run for as far and long as possible.
Nowadays, he was taking longer runs. Miwa could easily guess why.
Tobio had always run to get his mind off of things, to process things through, or to just blow off some steam. Somedays, he wouldn't return until noon, in which Miwa would fuss over him and force him to sit down and eat something, for God's sake. If Tobio wasn't going to take care of himself, then she'd make him.
It was easy to see how happy Hinata made her younger brother, but it was also clear how much anxiety Tobio held within him.
Still, Miwa was patient with him. She'd wait for her brother to be ready.
"Hey." Tobio was standing at her door again.
Miwa looked up from her work. "Hey," she said. "Need something?"
Tobio glanced sideways, up at the ceiling, all around, looking exceptionally nervous. "Can you... cut my hair for me?" He mumbled.
Miwa grinned.
Tobio complained as Miwa sat him down on a stool.
"You're too tall, nowadays." She said, combing his hair before grabbing a pair of scissors. "This is the only way I can reach those stupid bangs of yours."
"They're not stupid," Tobio mumbled. "Didn't you cut them for me?"
That was true. Miwa had always helped Tobio cut his hair growing up. It saved them a handful of cash, and Miwa didn't mind spending time with her family.
Usually, in the past, the two had always used these moments, to talk, more often, Miwa complaining about any pointless drama she'd encountered with her friends.
But today, she was silent. She had a feeling there was a reason why Tobio approached her, and she was ready to listen.
She grabbed a clip and began pinning up his bangs to work on the sides. "Your bangs are always too long," she commented. "How can you even see what you're doing half the time?"
"Don't cut them too short," Tobio complained. "You did that last time."
As Miwa began to work, Tobio's quietness was deafening. It was like he had something to say, and keeping those words to himself created a suffocatingly crushing environment.
She took a deep breath. "Is there something on your mind?"
Tobio tensed up. Miwa trimmed the back of his hair and paused, giving him a knowing look in the mirror.
His eyes glanced downwards. "No," he said, already a terrible start. "It's just..."
It was a good thing Miwa had stopped cutting his hair for a moment, because then Tobio seemed to forget what they were doing, dropping his face to his hands and letting out a muffled sound of frustration.
Miwa sucked in air through her teeth. "Yikes," she said. "That bad?"
Tobio wouldn't speak for a moment.
"You know that... teammate that walks home with me most days?" Tobio began, his face still in his hands. "Hinata?"
Yes, of course Miwa knew about him. "Sure," she said. "What about him?"
Tobio, again, couldn't say a word. Miwa nudged him.
"Come on," she encouraged him. "You can do this."
She heard him take a shaky breath. "I think I..." She saw his shoulders tense up, as if he were bracing himself for some sort of disaster. "...like him?"
Miwa was quiet for a moment.
"Well," she began. "'Like' seems to be a bit of an understatement."
Tobio immediately shot up, elbowing her. "Stop," he hissed at her. "Shut up, shut up!"
Miwa can't help but laugh. "I'm sorry! It was just so easy." She said. "Ok, head up, let me keep working on your hair."
Tobio grumbled his complaints but looked back up again, letting her get back to her work.
"What are you going to do about it?" Miwa asked. "Now that you've realized it?"
He considered this for a moment. "Take it to the grave with me," he answered, sounding entirely too serious about it.
Miwa shook her head. "You can't keep burying your feelings like this, Tobio." She told him, unclipping his bangs. "It's not good for you."
"Then what can I do?" He snapped. "I don't know if..." His eyes widened with horror, like he'd just seen a ghost or something standing behind him in the mirror. "Shit. Mom and Dad. What would they say if...?"
Miwa paused coming to the same thought process. "I won't tell them." She promised him.
Tobio's brow furrowed. "But... is it still ok that I...?"
Miwa recognized that worried look on his face. She'd seen it a hundred times. She'd seen it when he was young and had accidentally knocked over one of their mother's expensive vases. She'd seen it when he'd walked out onto a real court for the first time. And she was seeing it now.
"Listen, I can't make a decision for you," she said, trimming his bangs. "But one way or another, you have to tell him. Repressing your feelings is only going to push them out in the worst of ways."
Tobio's eyes glanced down. "Do you think there's a chance?"
Miwa huffed. "Tobio, if I had to be honest," she began, "that boy is so in love with you, I think he'd pull down the moon and the stars if you asked him to."
He immediately went red in the face. "Shut up, that's not true." He mumbled.
She sighed. "You were never really the most receptive person when it came to other people's feelings." She finished her sentence with a final snip, stepping back. "Done!"
Tobio looked up at his reflection, reaching up to mess with hair and giving himself a judging look.
"You cut my bangs too short." He said.
Miwa laughed. "You always tell me that."
When Tobio finally, finally, kissed Hinata out under the street lamp, Miwa was so excited for him she could start cheering.
She didn't, however, and a good thing too. She could imagine them seeing her jumping and shouting through the window would be one hell of a mood killer.
"When are you bringing him over for dinner?" She pestered him with questions. "No, wait! You should bring me to meet him next time you guys are out somewhere."
"Do not embarrass me." Tobio had pleaded, to which she could make no promises.
Hinata seemed eager to meet Miwa when Tobio had finally coming around to letting them meet (under his knowledge). He seemed persistent on gaining on her approval of some sort (he didn't need to gain it, he'd had it since the first day she'd seen Tobio walk into the house with a smile on his face).
"Come by for dinner sometime!" She shouted, sending the two out of the house. Tobio had insisted on walking Shoyo home that evening. Miwa wasn't sure if it was an act of endearment, or if the two had some other weird competition going on over who walks who home.
She closed the door behind them before Tobio could get a word in of how embarrassing she was.
The night air was cool, so Miwa had left a window open. She heard their voices drift through.
"Your sister's pretty great, isn't she?"
A beat. For a moment, Miwa thought Tobio would once again, say nothing.
"Yeah," Tobio answered. "She is."
Miwa smiled to herself.