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It was a beautiful Friday afternoon and Yoongi had planned to spend his first day of the weekend sleeping like the dead. Planned being the keyword. Seokjin had other plans and apparently those plans overruled Yoongi’s carefully thought out schedule. So at an hour way too early to be acceptable (11 am, really Seokjin?), Yoongi found himself fully dressed and trudging alongside his roommate and ex-bestfriend. Seokjin told him to stop being so dramatic before pulling him into yet another foreign shop, a colorful store called Lush or something like that.
He walked around the shop leisurely, doing his best to avoid the attendants flocking around customers like vultures. It wasn’t a bad shop in reality, seemingly some sort of novelty sweets store, although it did kind of smell a bit strange. But the sweets on display looked pleasant enough and Yoongi took his time appreciating the colorful cake pops (at least they looked like cake pops, like, super-sized star shaped cake pops). He glanced around and saw Seokjin talking animatedly with an employee, who seemed to be showing off a tub of something creamy, maybe yogurt or gelato. Either way, Yoongi knew they’d be here for a while.
He pulled on the edges of his beanie, thrown on haphazardly over his messy blond hair this morning. At the sight of a salesperson approaching, Yoongi scurried away to another corner of the store, where only one other person seemed to be browsing. He was observing what seemed to be a bar filled with different varieties of fudge, a brown bag held securely in hand. Upon Yoongi’s sudden arrival, the stranger looked up in surprise then quickly calmed down. He was pretty handsome, Yoongi noted, and he offered a small smile in greeting.
“You scared me man, I thought you were another salesperson.” The stranger explained, smiling a little brighter.
“You’re avoiding them too?” Yoongi asked, cocking an eyebrow and the handsome guy nodded.
“Yeah, my friend dragged me in here a while ago. I ended up buying this just to get them to leave me alone.” He said, holding up the brown paper bag. Yoongi made a small noise at this.
“That’s actually a good idea.” They both chuckled and Yoongi held out his hand, “My name is Yoongi by the way. My roommate dragged me here as well.”
“Nice to meet you Yoongi. I’m Taehyung.” The guy smiled and Yoongi felt himself returning it, trying not to linger on how warm Taehyun’s fingers were.
“So, what did you end up buying?” Yoongi asked, finally releasing the taller man’s hand.
“Uh, some sort of fudge bar and two of those cake pop looking things.” Taehyung opened the bag and let the other peer inside curiously.
“The employee was saying something about how it improves your complexion or some shit, but how does chocolate do that?” Taehyung’s face scrunched in confusion and Yoongi snorted.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s some sort of vegan herbal chocolate, I keep seeing organic labels everywhere.” Yoongi shrugged, not quite understanding it either. Must be another weird health craze.
“That makes sense. My friend, Jimin, he’s a total health freak. Figures he wouldn’t buy normal sweets.” He laughed and Yoongi took a second to appreciate the deep sound.
“Yeah, my roommate Seokjin is the same. He’s obsessed with his looks, no wonder he comes to the weird candy shop that helps your skin.”
Yoongi turned away from the other for a minute, observing the various chocolates on display in front of him. He asked Taehyung which he’d gotten and after some humming the taller man pointed to some small square fudge bars. He nodded and continued observing the other strange creations: jars with seemingly whipped chocolate inside, large slabs of marble chocolate, and even some smaller bars obviously infused with herbs. Weird.
After a few more minutes of loitering, they both decided to leave the shop and wait for their friends outside, on a bench where it was safe from obviously commissioned sales people. They made some small talk and figured out they were both attending the same university, Yoongi as a 4th year music major and Taehyung as a 2nd year astro-physics major. After a comfortable lull in conversation, Taehyung sat up a bit and dug out the brown Lush bag and looked at Yoongi sheepishly.
“Hey, actually, since we’re both kind of stuck here, do you want to try something?” Taehyung asked, shaking the bag lightly.
“What?” Yoongi asked, surprised by the offer.
“Honestly, I’m kinda scared to try this stuff alone. So, you wanna share something I bought?” Taehyung clarified with another bashful look and Yoongi couldn’t help but smile a bit.
“Yeah, sure Taehyung.”
They both ended up choosing the fudge squares and Yoongi sniffed at the brown bar curiously. Well, it definitely smelled chocolatey enough, even with some strange citrus and herbal hints. The bar fit nicely in the palm of his hand and would actually last maybe two or three bites. The pair looked at each other dubiously as if waiting for the other to take the first bite. Eventually they settled on both trying it on the count of three. Yoongi took a deep breath and bit into the chocolate bar, mouth twisting at the taste and texture. It was unexpectedly waxy and kind of soapy tasting. When he looked up he saw Taehyung wearing a similar expression and started to laugh.
“This stuff is seriously weird. Health craze or not, I’d never voluntarily buy this stuff.” Yoongi commented, watching Taehyung take a second bite of the bar.
“Maybe...it’s an acquired taste?” The boy questioned and Yoongi snorted again before trying to finish his own piece. Despite the unpleasant taste, Taehyung had purchased this shit with real human money, and he wasn’t going to waste it by throwing it away.
“Yoongi! There you are.” He looked up to see Seokjin walking out of the shop, finally, with another boy next to him, shorter with shocking red hair.
“Oh, hey Jimin!” Taehyung called out and the boy next to Seokjin waved. What were the odds.
“Hey Tae, sorry it took so long. What are you eating?” Jimin asked, pausing in front of his friend curiously.
“I bought some stuff so the salespeople would leave me alone.” Taehyung held up the bag with the remaining items and Jimin’s smile faltered.
“Wait, something from Lush?” The boy asked and Taehyung nodded.
“Yoongi, are you eating it too?” Seokjin asked him, eyes wide.
“Yeah, Taehyung offered me some. I gotta say, this is the weirdest chocolate I’ve ever tasted.” Yoongi explained, popping the last bite of the chocolate into his mouth as if to make a point.
Both of the boys blanched and exchanged frantic glances. Yoongi looked to Taehyung and saw the boy was just as confused by their reaction as he was. He looked back up to ask the pair what was up with them when he felt an odd sensation. It started off as a tingle and then started warming to a slight burn, down his throat and into his stomach. Next to him, Taehyung started clearing his throat, maybe feeling the same sensation.
“Hospital, where’s the nearest hospital?” Jimin started asking, whipping his head around as if he could suddenly find one.
“I think there’s one a few blocks away but maybe I should call 911.” Seokjin pulled out his phone, tapping his foot nervously.
“Why are you freaking out?” Yoongi said, or tried to say, he more coughed it out as that burning sensation spread.
“Shit am I allergic to chocolate now?” Taehyung rasped out, looking at Yoongi with watery eyes.
“No, oh my god, that wasn’t fucking chocolate. Can’t you guys fucking read?!” Seokjin exclaimed, catching them both off-guard.
“Lush is a cosmetics store, they make gourmet soaps and shit. You both just ate a full bar of gourmet soap.” Jimin explained a bit calmer, ushering Taehyung into a standing position.
“Fuck. Good thing we didn’t eat the cake pops too.” Yoongi managed to maintain his sarcasm even as Seokjin yanked him up by the arm.
The two boys were practically dragged through the streets bound for the nearest emergency room. The burning sensation started rising in intensity and Yoongi felt the strongest urge to vomit. Taehyung beat him to the mark, rushing to the nearest trashcan and gagging.
“Oh my god, Tae you can’t die on me we’re almost there.” Jimin tugged at his retching friend who was currently dry heaving. If he kept that up, Yoongi didn’t know how much longer he’d last either.
Seokjin kept a firm grip on his arm and didn’t once pause his strides, even as Jimin struggled to catch up with a paler Taehyung in tow. The small hospital came into view as they rounded the next corner, the glowing “emergency room” letters looking like an entrance to heaven. The boys increased their speed and burst into the waiting area. Jimin sat the two soap-poisoned boys down while Seokjin went to the counter to explain the predicament. After a minute, Jimin left to join Seokjin, bouncing around nervously.
“Crazy day, right?” Yoongi attempted a conversation with the half-dead boy, but that at least earned him a chuckle.
“Wanna make it even crazier?” Taehyung asked, turning to observe him intently. Or as intently as he could when his eyes kept watering.
“I’m listening.” Yoongi replied coolly, trying to ignore the way he was breaking into a cold sweat.
“Give me your number. Let’s get some coffee sometime, after we get our stomachs pumped that is.” Taehyung smiled and fought not to gag again, remembering how it burned his throat earlier.
“You had me at stomach pump.” Yoongi smiled slyly, fighting back the urge to cry.
“Nothing sexier than a dual endoscopy.” Taehyung tried laughing but ended up coughing instead.
“I would say you’re making my heart race, but I think that’s an effect of the soap poisoning.” Yoongi smiled, watching the taller boy hack his lungs up, his words still managing to bring another smile out.
“I can’t believe this. You two are literally dying and you’re trying to flirt?” Seokjin walked up to the pair, glancing between them in disbelief.
“Not trying, succeeding.” Yoongi grinned, handing his phone over to Taehyung before he passed out.
They’d finished exchanging numbers when a nurse walked out and approached the small group. What a sight they must’ve been. Two boys on the brink of death, Seokjin tapping his foot in worry and disdain, and Jimin crying in the corner muttering something about writing wills. The woman sighed and pulled out a clipboard.
“Let me guess, you two are Min Yoongi and Kim Taehyung, and you’re suffering from soap poisoning after visiting Lush?”
“You have no proof!” Taehyung accused, probably half-gone to delirium. At the same time, Yoongi finally doubled over and vomited like he’d been trying not to do since they got there.
The nurse looked at the two, quite unimpressed, and spoke into a small radio device.
“Please bring out two stretchers. We have another Lush case, category two it seems. Also, call the janitor. Looks like it was the fudge soap bar again.”
---
Taehyung and Yoongi did in fact meet up for coffee after they were fully recovered. They may have also gone to an actual candy shop and purchased some actual fudge purely out of spite. One date turned into two, which turned into a month and then much more. Currently, the two were sitting on the floor of Taehyung’s dorm room, the beds occupied by Jimin and Hoseok. Taehyung was laughing at something Yoongi had whispered in his ear when Hoseok leaned forward smiling.
“All this time I’ve been friends with both of you, but I never thought you’d get along like this.” He looked between the two queerly.
They exchanged a glance and just shrugged. Sometimes life just works in mysterious ways. Opposites attract or some shit like that. Hoseok hummed and tapped away on his phone before sitting up again and interrupting the pair.
“I don’t think you ever told me how you met actually.” He stated, obviously curious. Across the room Jimin groaned and attempted to smother himself with a pillow. Hoseok frowned at this reaction but wasn’t deterred.
“Huh, well, it’s a pretty funny story actually.” Yoongi started, looking over at Taehyung and smiling shyly. The younger boy nodded sagely and continued the tale.
“It all started with soap that looked suspiciously like fudge.”