Chapter Text
as the team’s seasoned setter and captain, mikha usually exudes an air of confidence and precision. ‘pag siya na ang nagising sa laro, her teammates are soon to follow. there was this news article written just last year, right after she was named captain ball of the lady eagles, that described her as the “guiding force amid the ebb and flow of victory and defeat for ateneo.” it hasn’t left her mind ever since.
today is different. her training jersey sticks to her skin uneasily, her shoes against the polished hardwood squeak a little too loud, and her arm sleeves fit tighter around the edges.
“lim, kaliwa,” mikha wills her feet to move faster, chasing the ball after marg, their libero, sends it too close to the net. she surges forward, feet planting firmly on the ground as she braces herself for the impending contact. the ball hovers tantalizingly close to the net, but when it comes down to her fingers, her touch is light. no, too light. she sets it just a split second slower than expected by her hitter and—
coach micky blows the whistle. the ball bounces back to her after hitting the antenna, and the sigh that escapes her lips passes unrestrained.
“okay ka lang?” ate gillian asks her, ever the panganay of their team. the thing about being a captain despite not being a senior yet is that her ates make it easier, even back when she was a rookie finding her footing in playing for the collegiate level. mikha feels that just as strongly as before, with a light pat on her shoulder from her ate miro. still, hindi pa rin niya maalis ang pakiramdam na parang may mali. she replies with a non-committal hum.
“alam kong alam mo naman kung saan ka nagkakaproblema, ha mikha,” coach micky starts. his tone is kind, every bit of the father figure he is to them, but mikha straightens her stance just the slightest bit before she gathers herself to look him in the eye. “sige na, magpahinga na muna kayo.”
ate gillian and ate miro pat both her arms again before rushing to the athletes’ locker rooms. she’s about to follow marg when coach micky calls for her. “mikha, nak, usap muna tayo.”
she sits down on the bench opposite him when he does, her legs only just beginning to feel the exhaustion of being up and playing for seven hours straight. training was only supposed to be for five, but mikha took it upon herself to start some drills alone two hours earlier.
“may problema ba?” he’s earnest in his question. it makes mikha smile.
“wala naman po, coach.”
“sigurado? kanina pa kita pinapanood, kung naramdaman kong off ka, alam kong mas naramdaman mo ‘yon.”
and he’s right. mikha has been feeling off. she’s not entirely sure when it started, but the last game against the fighting maroons saw six errors made by her – a number she, throughout the years, has made sure never to reach. isang error, it’s fine, she’s still human. two means try harder. three is already unacceptable in the standards she holds for herself, let alone more than three. call her a perfectionist, mikha will tell you she’s passionate . for someone who’s been playing volleyball since she was ten, it’s easy to understand how she gets absorbed into the games rather vehemently.
kaya kahit na na-secure nila ang spot sa final four nang may twice to beat advantage, mikha finished that game itching with disappointment. coach micky is aware of this, if his knowing look means anything.
“alam mo usually kapag may player ako na problemado sa training, dahilan nila away ng jowa eh,” mikha snorts at his remark. “ikaw, ‘pag problemado sa volleyball, volleyball lang din ang problema. maghanap ka na kaya ng ibang komplikasyon sa buhay.”
“si coach naman.”
“seryoso ako, mikha.” his toothed smile fades into a tight-lipped one. “maski nga ‘di mid-season alam kong bola pa rin inaatupag mo.”
mikha shifts uneasily. it's not the first time she's been told this — she has heard a longer, more personal tirade of this same matter from colet. “i’ll see kung maka-join ako sa ibang orgs in my free time coach.”
napa-iling si coach micky. he stands up, dusts off her jersey, and pats her on the shoulder. pabulong itong umalis: “ang sabi ko, jowa. ang narinig niya, sakit sa ulo.”
so that's mikhaela janna lim, twenty-one, jersey number eight, team captain of the ateneo blue eagles’ women's volleyball team, or as that viral tweet from uaap stan twitter called her last year, paboritong player ng mga halata. hindi nakikita ng lahat ang singsing sa daliri niya, pero hindi mahirap paniwalaang part-time third-year bsba student, full-time asawa ng volleyball si mikha. you ask her about her skill, talent, hobby, and sport, isa lang ang isasagot niya — volleyball. her friends poke fun at her all the time for it, pero hindi na siya natinag.
ika nga ni colet, siya ‘yung tipo na crush ng lahat until they get to know her and realize that mikha lim starts and ends at volleyball, and she's been nothing but unapologetic about it.
until now.
she takes her hand out from her jacket pockets and finds herself flexing her wrist, a habit ingrained from countless hours of volleyball practice, rotating it in small, controlled circles – a ritual she performs without thinking, a way to keep her muscles loose and ready.
the athletes’ residence hall is a two-minute walk from the blue eagle gym. at least, if she took the main exit. pero dahil during her conversation with coach micky, she could faintly hear marg and kath being greeted by “fans” who camped outside the gym, mikha opted to use the exit through the lockers.
what they don't tell you about playing in the most media-regarded inter-university sports conference is that you don't get to cherry pick the celebrity treatment that comes with being a stellar player.
while it is a good thing and mikha does love the attention she receives over her skills, over the course of three years, mikha has lost count of all the people asking her out — something she doesn't want to concern herself with as much as possible. it was one thing to interact with genuine fans who love to see her play, it was another thing entirely to have to turn down literal strangers politely when they get too pushy.
ah, and there was also the issue with her stalkers last month, under the guise of fans who followed her around everywhere. hanggang ngayon kasi, wala pa ring nagagawa para maaksyunan.
she's not even entitled to a simple call-out. ‘wag daw ngayon, ‘wag munang sirain ‘yung momentum ng suporta ng fans habang mid-season by doing something that can be taken the wrong way.
so if mikha actively chooses the longer route, excuse her. if she decides she would rather jump through a thick row of unkept bushes, excuse her for that too.
“aray,” mikha whispers as her track pants get caught in one of the shrubs, some sort of thorn poking her skin through the fabric.
she's in the process of shaking it off when she hears—
“looooooooord,” the voice is downright guttural, punctuated by heavy coughs, coming from behind the trees at the end of the bushes.
and then she hears it again. retching?
mikha is just about to turn the other way around when the woman, she realizes, lifts her head. for a short, horrible moment, mikha’s gaze lands on the bile coloring the dirt before meeting the other girl's wide-eyed gape. mikha feels distinctly like she's intruding on this stranger's misery.
she hesitates, but some semblance of courtesy kicks in and she's fishing through her duffle bag for her bottle of water and offering it to the stranger without a word.
instead of accepting it however, the stranger holds up a hand, pale face contorting with discomfort before doubling over to the side. nang sumuka ulit ito, hindi alam ni mikha ang gagawin niya. she crouched down beside the woman, bag discarded and phone dropped beside what she assumes is the other girl's phone on the pavement.
nang matapos ito sa pagsusuka, slumping back and breathing heavily, inabot ulit ni mikha ang tubig na agad nitong tinanggap. she stepped backwards to give the girl some space habang minumumog niya ang tubig ni mikha.
“are you okay?” she asks when the woman finally stands up and pours the last of her water sa sinukahan niyang lupa. mikha can't suppress the small grimace that makes its way to her face.
“opo, thank you sa tubig, miss…”
“mikha.”
“thank you, mi—” napahinto ito, eyes scanning mikha as if actually seeing her for the first time. and as if the varsity jacket, track pants, and the volleyball peeking from her duffel bag doesn't give it away, she asks: “wait, mikha? as in ‘yung ano sa volleyball?”
the cluelessness makes mikha smile a little. she gives a small “yup.”
“hala, thank you. pasensiya na naubos ko pa ‘yung tubig mo.”
"it's fine," mikha pauses, unsure what to say. the girl begins dusting off her knees, giving mikha a moment to take in her appearance. despite the pallor from her recent ordeal, there's something strikingly familiar about her. mikha's eyes linger on her face, trying to place where she's seen her before. her dark hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail, and even though her makeup is smudged, there's an almost endearing charm to her features. baka sa debate club? o member ng school paper? her mind races, but there’s something telling her they've crossed paths before. she shrugs it off for the time being. "kailangan mo pa ba ng tulong?"
“hindi na, salamat.”
at that, mikha nods and reaches for her duffel bag, grabbing her phone and stuffing it into her pocket. she debates on saying something as a parting note, and settles instead with a quiet "ingat ka po."
she adjusts the strap of her duffel bag, the familiar weight a small comfort. mikha takes a deep breath, still trying to shake off the unease that's settled over her like a second skin.
just as she's beginning to find a rhythm in her steps some distance away from the gym, her phone rings. the sharp trill cuts through her thoughts, pulling her back to the present. in the back of her mind, hindi niya maalalang tinanggal niya ito sa pagkaka-dnd.
the ringtone is the one she set for ate colet, the only one in her contacts na nagagalit kapag hindi niya nasasagot ang mga tawag nito. bilang point guard ng lady eagles' basketball team, alam kasi ni ate colet niya ang schedule ng mga gumagamit ng blue eagle gym kaya siya lang ang hindi tinatablan ng palusot na “sorry ‘di nasagot, training kasi.”
“‘sup, bakit?” she greets as soon as she swipes to answer, phone brought up to her ear as she continues walking.
“huh? sino ‘to?” the unfamiliar voice tinged with urgency makes her stop in her tracks. “sino ka? anong nangyari kay stacey?”
nangunot ang kilay ni mikha as she withdraws the phone from her ear and reads the contact details for the first time. jhoanna , it reads. devil emoji. clown emoji. and some other emoji mikha can't describe.
before she can figure out what's happening, the screen lights up again as this jhoanna requests for a video call. it takes her a moment, but when it clicks in her mind, it's frustration that immediately takes over her.
nakuha niya ‘yung cellphone nung babae.
“hoy, sagutin mo ‘yung tawag. magnanakaw ka ba ha?”
kung malasin ka nga naman.
she swipes again to accept the video call. “hi, sorry, maling phone kasi ‘yung naku—”
“mikha lim?” jhoanna’s eyes widen with recognition. mikha winces. “hala, ikaw nga!”
before mikha can explain, the girl cuts her off again. “hala, teka, totoo nga! volleyball player na dean's lister,” jhoanna exclaims. at this point, mikha is completely lost. “gagi! oo nga! ‘wag mo sabihing ikaw ‘yung bagong girlfriend ni stacey?!”
what?
☾
“pero you have to admit, he kind of was the standard before he, alam mo na, revealed his true colors kumbaga,” ate aiah tells her, laid down on the long couch, head resting on ate maloi’s lap, swirling her glass of water — si madaya, ginamitan sila ng driver card at tinigil agad ang pag-inom wala pang dalawang baso ang natatagay.
“binibigyan ka nga noon ng bulaklak for no reason,” jhoanna adds. stacey shifts and uncrosses her legs. kahit na matagal na siyang nakamove-on, she doesn't particularly like discussing her past relationship. “pero aanhin mo naman kasi ‘yun kung makaasta naman sa relasyon niyo, parang kontrolado buhay mo.”
“kaya nga sabi ni aiah before he revealed his true colors,” pagtatanggol ni ate maloi.
jhoanna has something else in reply to that, and at some point sheena jumps into the conversation. stacey reaches for her tequila, and with a flick of her wrist, downs it with a grimace. the taste is sharp, burning a path down her throat, but the almost familiar sting is becoming a bit more comforting. the world seemed to blur a little more than before, the edges of her thoughts already softening into a gentle haze.
stacey’s attention shifts momentarily to the dancing she can see outside through the glass doors. they’re in a private room at the back of their favorite bar, a cozy, dimly-lit space with deep red walls and plush leather seats. the low hum of music filters in from outside, barely audible over the muted clinking of glasses and the soft murmur of their conversation. the air is thick with the scent of alcohol and a hint of something floral from the air freshener na dinala ni sheena, pang-kontra raw sa baho ng alak. a few scattered bottles and glasses sit on the polished wooden table in front of them.
“—kahit tanungin mo pa si staks,” ate maloi’s mention of her name gets her attention. “‘di ba? lakas maka-sad boy ng dating te!”
napakibit-balikat nalang si stacey. she thinks of dean, her ex, and his controlling nature which only made its appearance a few weeks after they made their relationship official. he made it a habit to meddle with every decision he could – the clothes she wore, the time she spent with her friends, her attendance in school orgs – all under the guise of “caring.” stacey is just thankful she wasn’t too deeply attached to the relationship they built in the span of only four months. it made it easier for her to navigate the breakup when her senses weren’t too clouded with the idea of him and his kind treatment toward her the first couple of months.
she takes the bottle of cuervo and pours another round for her, ate maloi, and jhoanna to drink dahil sila lang naman ang natitirang umiinom. if ate aiah gave up in two glasses, sheena gave up in a half.
“pero spoiled na spoiled ka nun. sa una nga lang magaling,” jhoanna pauses, then smiles teasingly at stacey. “baka nga ‘di ka na makahanap ng gaya non eh.”
for some reason, that stirs something deep within stacey. a flicker of irritation, maybe, or something else entirely. she doesn't quite know why, but her mouth moves before her mind can catch up. “pakyu,” she says, the word slipping out unrestrained, and then, to her own surprise:
“kuwento mo sa girlfriend ko.”
☾
world, meet stacey aubrey sevilleja, ‘di na niya sinasama ‘yung lindtsey niya ‘pag nagsusulat ng pangalan, twenty-one, third-year bs tourism management student, and a firm believer na kung gaano ka kaganda dapat ganoon din kataas ang pride mo. maybe the easiest thing to observe about her is her extreme enthusiasm for anything pink and sweet. say anything remotely bad about jack ‘n jill’s berry knots and you'll never hear the end of it. despite the common maldita first impression people usually peg her for, sweetheart is a state of mind for stacey when you get to know her — trust that it leads to an eventful valentine's every year.
kahit baby pink ang mga bag niya at hello kitty-themed ang stickers sa laptop niya, kayang takasan ni stacey ang mga pulis sa gta san andreas kahit umabot na sa five stars ang wanted level. dahil sa dami ng hobbies niya, sa limang organizations na sinalihan niya noong freshman year, cuisina nalang ang natira as she deemed cooking and baking to be a pastime she wants to turn into a skill. she’s not afraid to try new things, but the catch is she has to be absolutely interested in it.
kaya nga kahit tatlong taon na siyang pinipilit ni jhoanna na pag-aralan ang volleyball para may kasama itong manood ng uaap, hindi nakikinig si stacey. kahit si dean, ex niyang basketball player na ilang oras ipinaliwanag sa kaniya lahat ng dapat niyang malaman tungkol sa basketball, hindi rin nagtagumpay kasi tumagos lamang sa tainga niya lahat ng sinabi nito.
sports will simply be the one uncharted territory she will forever leave alone as it is.
so when the first message to greet her is a “cno sa lady eagles gf mo te????” from jhoanna, typed in all caps and accompanied with ten more messages, the dull, throbbing ache that felt like tiny hammers in her head begin to feel more like a dozen mallets all at once. even more so when the memory that she did, in fact, say that last night hits her.
bwisit. aspirin. kailangan ni stacey ng aspirin.
with a resigned sigh, stacey pushed herself up to a sitting position, her movements slow and deliberate, dragging herself to the bathroom. her steps are unsteady, and the cool tiles underfoot do little to soothe her growing discomfort. she lets the cold water run for a moment before cupping her hands and splashing it onto her face.
“seryoso nga, sino ba ‘yang bago mo?”
“basta. ang kulit, malalaman niyo rin naman.”
“hoy, normal lang na concerned kami considering your taste in partners.”
sa labas ng private room, there's a group of friends laughing about something. si ateng naka-tight ponytail ang blue hair ang nakakuha ng atensyon niya. in her drunken state, kung hindi lang soundproof itong silid ay baka sinigaw na ni stacey na ang pangit ng top nito — very bright blue and yellow lines meeting together in a curve as its design. parang mukhang—
“so sino nga?” tanong ni ate aiah.
“volleyball player.” ayon. mukhang bola ng volleyball ‘yung dress ni ateng ponytail.
bwisit! lalong lumalala ang sakit ng ulo ni stacey kapag naaalala niya lahat ng pinagsasabi niya kagabi. she rummages through her medicine cabinet. bottles and boxes clattered, pero wala talagang aspirin.
“oh sige, eto, taga-anong school?”
“wow, para namang may time makipagkita si stacey sa taga-ibang school.”
“or may time makipagkita at all. hello? girl parang kasama mo lang naman kami kapag wala ka sa klase o sa dorm.”
“eh sa busy siya sa training!”
“‘di sinagot. taga-saang school nga?”
“i have the right to remain silent.”
“‘wag mo sabihing taga-yellow school ‘yan. ‘di ka pa ba natuto nung na-ghost ka ni–”
“what if taga-ateneo rin?”
napatikom ng bibig si sheena sabay paglaki ng mga mata. “hala! bilang nalang mga single sa lady eagles ah!”
stacey shrugs. “kaya nga what if lang. take it or leave it.”
“stacey!” she hears the girl – mikha, kakasabi lang pala sa kaniya kanina – approaching her again from the direction she walked off to just a few moments before. ang bilis makabalik. nakita na ni stacey na malayo-layo na rin ang narating nito after bidding her goodbye. atleta nga talaga, hindi man lang hiningal. “tama ‘di ba? you’re stacey?”
confused, she takes it in stride. mikha continues. “your friend called kasi. si jhoanna?” the expression on her face looks for confirmation, pero ngayon lalo lang naguguluhan si stacey. in lieu of an explanation, itinaas ni mikha ang hawak niyang cellphone. “this is yours. pareho yata tayo ng model, same clear case din. i didn’t notice until after i answered the call, i’m sorry.”
in the back of stacey’s mind, she really should’ve ordered that pastel pink phone case na in-add to cart niya sa shopee noong nakaraang araw pa. “hala, sorry rin, hindi ko napansin kaaga–”
“mikha!” sigaw ng matining na boses mula sa likod ng gym, doon banda sa sinukahan ni stacey. “wait, please ‘wag ka muna umalis, puwede magpa-picture?” parang natataranta pang sabi nito, hopping over the bushes lining the path to reach them faster, her eyes never leaving mikha.
in her peripheral vision, she sees mikha stiffen beside her in discomfort. huh. may nabanggit nga si ate maloi sa kanila tungkol sa sports fans and how some of them get too pushy – naissue pa nga si donny, ‘yung basketball player na fourth year psych for calling out his stalkers.
stacey's gut tightens with a sense of unease. she can't shake the feeling that something is off, a prickling at the back of her neck that makes her instinctively want to protect mikha. or at least, keep her away somewhere. hindi rin nakatulong na nagbuntong-hininga si mikha sa tabi niya. stacey takes a couple of steps closer to her.
“hey, mikha, i’ve actually been finding you all over campus,” the girl starts, tone overly sweet and saccharine. napakunot agad ang noo ni stacey.
“do you want another picture?” nilipat niya ang tingin niya kay mikha. with her emphasis being on the word another , stacey gets the feeling this scenario has happened enough times for mikha to sound so annoyed.
“yes, but actually,” napahinto ito, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, leaning in just a little too close. then, with a sly, almost calculated shift in her posture, she asks, "so, are you two, like, together? kasi, if not, i was wondering if maybe you'd like to grab a coffee sometime, mikha?"
stacey immediately notices mikha's shoulders tense even more, eyes darting around as if searching for an escape.
the hesitation in mikha's silence is palpable, and really, stacey is just a helpful person by nature. at least, that’s what she tells herself when she steps in between them. she hesitates for a moment, then gently places a hand on mikha's arm.
“respeto naman sa girlfriend ate,” stacey fakes a laugh and plays it off as a joke. the effect is immediate. the relief in mikha's eyes is clear, but stacey notices the lingering wariness. mikha’s shoulders relax slightly under her touch.
stacey keeps her hand on mikha's arm for just a moment longer, offering silent reassurance before letting go. at the gesture, napaayos ng tayo ang babae. “hala, pasensiya na po. puwedeng makipagpicture nalang?”
“sure!” it's stacey who offers her hand out for the girl's phone. nang iniabot sa kaniya, nilipat niya agad mula back cam to front cam.
kung totoong inikot na ng babae ang buong ateneo at ilang beses nang sinundan si mikha para makipag-selfie, surely, she wouldn't take it too badly kung kasama si stacey sa picture this time. tumabi siya kay mikha. “harap ka konti dito, baby.”
“thank you po!” sabi nito agad, isang beses pa lang napipindot ni stacey ang shutter. hindi niya maipinta ang titig ng babae sa kaniya — kulang nalang ay magtaray, pero isang tingin lang kay mikha ay bumabalik na ang pagka-plastik nito. ang kapal.
when the girl left, hopping over the bushes again, napahinga nang malalim si mikha sa tabi niya. tumaas ang balahibo ni stacey. ngayon niya lang naramdaman ‘yung hiya sa mga pinaggagawa niya.
“so,” simula ni mikha before flashing her a teasing smile. “baby?”
wow. mas kailangan na ni stacey ng aspirin.