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For some unknown reason, there was a big panoramic window in the smallest cargo bay. None of them had any idea what the ship had been used for in the past but it seemed to be a custom fit, and for a while it was the main topic of their over dinner discussions, a serious creative exercise as they'd try to outdo themselves in either the most possible or impossible ideas.
The captain would sometimes threaten to save up some money and have the space redone, cover the silly window with some durable material and make the room actually useful for storing goods that weren't made out of cotton wool, but no one was taking him seriously any more.
They all slowly fell in love with this weird room, too spacious to feel cosy while empty and too far away from the main deck to turn it into some useful living space. They all loved it anyway and each of them spent some time down here every now and then, doing their thing in privacy of space that wasn't as cramped and constricting as their cabins.
The sound of the engine was muted here, just a quiet rumble in the walls and floor, a murmur really, as if a cat was asleep somewhere nearby. The air was warm and stall, almost clinging to his body as he moved, making him feel like he was swimming through it, his arms, his legs, his torso, cutting through the warm silky substance, slowly and gracefully.
I'm a leaf on the wind.
There was no time here, his body lost in the lack of it, the non-existent minutes counted out by the amount of sweat that would break on his bare skin, and he would slowly but surely get lost in it, in this stillness and the movement, in the silent dance to the rhythm of his own heart, his deep breaths, his feet hitting the hard floor.
He was dancing in the reddish darkness of the empty cargo bay, every muscle doing its work in turn, carrying him through the space and time, over it and beyond, unlocking all the emotions that needed to be unlocked, the good and the bad ones, the well known ones and the hidden ones, those that could never be tamed by words and spoken out.
There was a lethal beauty in it, he knew because he was told, he knew, because he could see a glimpses of himself in this large window, a pale silhouette of a naked man painted across the vast emptiness and the stars. He knew, because there it was, in his head, a silent voice whispering in old, half forgotten language. A word to match his every breath, every move, every flick of a finger and every twist of a hip, every shuffling of a foot against the ground. A word to describe action and reaction, cause and effect, the force and the damage.
He was moving, faster and faster, repeating the long sequences of more and more complicated moves, the inner voice just a quiet murmur in the background, the purpose of each and every single gesture not important any more. Nothing was important, everything was a motion, one fluid motion, carrying him around the room, around the space, around his life.
I'm a leaf.
Somewhere, in the whirlwind of his body and his physicality, he could feel the calmness coming, the eye of the storm was right there, in his mind, and he could sit back and watch, and understand. There was his peace, his timeless space, distant and indifferent like those small shiny dots behind the window. He was one of them, too, cold and distant and perfectly free, above it all, a part of a bigger picture but a careless one, not bound by anything unless he'd let it bind him, shaped by the eye of the one who'd see him but only as much as he'd let it be.
He wasn't fighting, not any more, he was just letting things happen, letting himself happen, through the motion of this lethal beauty, a dance that was not a dance but a deadly weapon build of his arms and legs and his moves, faster and faster until the heart would break into million shiny pieces of stars and he'd shoot up so high he would never see himself again.
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar.
His body was like a trustworthy guard, always telling him when to stop, and Jason learned to listen to it long time ago, letting it take the lead and letting it calm him down, slow him down, put him down back to the ground.
His chest was heaving, his muscles trembling as he sat there, facing the endless darkness behind the window. Stars were staring back at him, unblinking, understanding, and he smiled, just a little bit, his hand slightly unsteady as he put the cup against his lips, sipping the cool drink and forcing himself back into his own head a bit more with the refreshing sourness of his herbal tea.
The sweat started cooling on his skin as the world slowly came back to focus, the spiritual experience only a simple training session now, but he knew, deep inside, like he had for years.
When the time comes, he will soar.