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“Harriet, you can’t be serious,” Crowley said as she handed the tiny squirming babe into his arms. “When I said I’d look after him if you ever needed, I didn’t mean a whole day.”
“Please, Crowley.” Harriet looked up at him, her eyes desperate.
“You can’t possibly trust me.” Crowley posited.
“But I do. Remember. I picked you as godparent.”
Crowley grumbled, glaring at the squirming Warlock. Harriet was his best friend, and he at least owed her this much. “But I don’t know the first thing about caring for babies.”
“Oh, you know plenty. And you’re great with Warlock.” Harriet waved her finger in front of Warlock, making him smile. “It’s just a day. You’ll be fine.”
Warlock lay on his back, on a little mat Harriet had provided, in Crowley’s apartment. Crowley glared at the babe as he mouthed at a baby toy keyring.
“So what now?” Crowley spoke aloud.
Warlock took the toy keyring out of his mouth, shaking it around with wonder. Warlock gurgled and squirmed on the mat as the plastic keys clapped against each other.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with a baby? What do babies even do?” Crowley sighed and got up to go to his computer. He spent far too long researching baby development while keeping an eye on Warlock out of the corner of his eye. Warlock seemed to be having great fun with the plastic keys.
“Maybe this won’t be so hard. I mean, Harriet puts up with you every day. You’re just a baby, after all.” Crowley glared back at Warlock.
So far, the day had been going splendidly, and Crowley felt proud of himself. When Warlock started to cry, Crowley dared to change his diaper. When that was done, Crowley fed Warlock, and the baby became content again. Crowley looked into his fridge for some food for himself, only to find it empty. He sighed, remembering that he’d been putting off going grocery shopping.
“Suppose I should get some food sooner or later.” Crowley sighed and looked at Warlock, who was blowing spit bubbles. “What do you say, Warlock? Want to come shopping?”
Crowley drove slower than he’d ever done before, obeying every letter of the law. Despite Warlock being secure in his car seat, Crowley felt very nervous with the baby in his car. Once Crowley got to the grocery store, he found setting up the stroller was a complicated process. Crowley remembered struggling with it with Harriet on outings before. He tried to remember what they did. Finally, Crowley got the stroller fully open and locked into place. When this was done, he strapped Warlock in and handed the boy his toy keys.
“Alright, Warlock. Let’s go.” Crowley fixed his shades over his eyes.
Crowley studied a packet of minute rice in the grocery aisle, pushing his shades up. He heard the sound of something plastic hitting the floor. He looked over to see Warlock had dropped his toy onto the ground.
“Oh,” Crowley stated before coming over to pick the toy up. Just as he did, Warlock burst out into cries.
“Oh, it’s alright, Warlock. Here, let me just clean it off for you.” Crowley wiped the toy between his shirt as Warlock’s crying increased.
“Just…” Crowley panicked a bit and thrust the toy back at Warlock. Only, Warlock batted his arm, pushing the toy away. Warlock was full-on sobbing now, fighting in his restraints.
“Warlock, come on. Here’s your toy.” Crowley tried handing the toy to Warlock once more.
Warlock started shrieking and fighting in his seat. Crowley wanted to shrink away. Here he was in a crowded grocery store, the guy with a shrieking kid. It was not a position he had ever wanted to be in.
“Please, Warlock.” Crowley pleaded, but Warlock continued screeching in his cries.
“Maybe a treat!” Crowley jumped up and looked down the aisle. “What could we get you?” Crowley wondered to himself.
Warlock was still screaming and squirming. Crowley tried to soothe him as he pushed the stroller towards the baby food aisle. Crowley grabbed some crackers off the shelf, opening them without a care. Crowley figured this was an emergency.
“Here, Warlock. Want a treat?” Crowley tried to offer the container.
Warlock only batted this away, sending some crackers flying.
“Oh, dear me.” A light voice reached Crowley’s ears.
Crowley looked up, feeling hot in the face. Crowley felt embarrassed about Warlock’s outburst and his inability to calm him.
“Someone made a little mess, didn’t they?” Crowley was met with a gentleman about his age, plus-sized, with curly white hair and a warm smile. He was wearing a beige suit as if he were back from a business meeting or something. The man knelt to collect the crackers off the ground.
“You don’t have to do that.” Crowley rushed to say, getting to work, picking up the strewn crackers. “It’s my mess.”
“Actually, I think it’s the little ones, is it not?” The man smiled at Warlock, who was still crying in the stroller. “My, someone’s certainly not having a nice day.”
“He dropped his toy, and now nothing I do is helping.” Crowley felt exasperated. “I don’t…” He picked up the last cracker, suddenly meeting the eyes of the other man.
Crowley was struck, caught up in the man’s beautiful eyes and face. He suddenly found himself taking in a soft, sharp intake of breath.
“Sorry.” Crowley found himself apologizing.
“No need to apologize, dear.”
Crowley startled at the almost term of affection.
“I’m assured that every parent struggles with calming down their children.”
“He’s not…” Crowley looked back at Warlock. “I’m looking after him for a friend.”
“Ah,” The man nodded. “Then he probably just wants his parent. Poor thing.” The man came to stand over Warlock’s stroller and made soft noises.
Warlock wouldn’t have any of this, though.
“Poor thing. How old are they?” The man asked.
“I don’t remember. A few months. His name is Warlock.”
“What a unique name.” The man looked back.
“Yeah, we thought it was cool.” Crowley smiled at the memory of the honour of getting to name the babe with Harriet.
“Aziraphale.” The man said with a warm smile
“What…?” Crowley blinked.
“It’s my name.” The man chuckled lightly. It was such a lovely, light, warming sound. Crowley found it soothing.
“Oh. Um… Crowley.” He awkwardly offered in return.
Warlock was still screaming and kicking in the stroller. Crowley turned to Warlock, fretting over what to do to get him to stop crying. “Maybe if I let him out, he’ll calm down.” Crowley came to kneel to undo the buckles. He picked Warlock up and over his shoulder, bouncing him lightly. Crowley thought it was worth a try.
“Are you any good with kids?” He turned to Aziraphale.
“Oh, I love children.” Aziraphale smiled.
“Here,” Crowley was already handing the babe off without much of a thought. He just needed Warlock to stop crying.
“Oh!” Aziraphale looked surprised but accepted Warlock on his shoulder. He started bouncing the babe then. Crowley sighed upon having the weight of responsibility taken off him, even just for a second.
“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Aziraphale asked.
“Just keep bouncing him.” Crowley encouraged.
“Right.” Aziraphale started patting Warlock’s back lightly.
Warlock then gave a loud hiccup and went silent, still.
“Oh dear, did he?” Aziraphale turned, and Crowley saw a puddle of spit dripping down Aziraphale’s jacket.
“Fuck. Your jacket. I’m so sorry.” Crowley rushed to grab some wipes from the stroller. When he stood up with the napkins, Aziraphale traded Crowley for them, handing Warlock back.
“I’m so sorry. That jacket looks expensive.” Crowley worried.
“This old thing.” Aziraphale waved casually. “You know how often I’ve spilt something on the front.” He wiped the spit from his shoulder with a bit of disgust.
“I’m sorry,” Crowley repeated, readjusting Warlock closer to him.
“Well, at least I helped. It seems our little guy here is happy again.” Aziraphale smiled at Warlock.
“Yeah, thank you.” Crowley smiled to Warlock’s face. The babe looked slightly spaced out, which was his typical baby expression.
“He’s such a sweet little thing.” Aziraphale cooed to Warlock and reached to poke Warlock’s nose.
Warlock looked startled, and Crowley chuckled. “Yeah. I guess he’s cute.”
Suddenly, Crowley met Aziraphale’s eyes again. They stood there for a second, Warlock against Crowley’s shoulder, Aziraphale probably standing too close.
“So, what are you doing in a grocery store dressed in a suit anyway?” Crowley asked, readjusting Warlock against his shoulder.
“Oh, I typically dress like this. No matter the occasion. I like looking well dressed, that’s all.”
Crowley smiled, letting his eyes gaze over the other man. “It looks nice on you.”
Aziraphale flushed under the compliment.
“Oh! He’s drooling again!” Aziraphale declared suddenly.
Crowley’s head flicked over to Warlock. “Oh, not on my jacket.” Crowley drew Warlock back. This only left a trail of drool connected to Crowley’s jacket to Warlock’s mouth. “Why are babies so dusting?”
“Here, let me.” Aziraphale took Warlock, and Crowley wiped off his jacket shoulder in disgust.
Aziraphale was cooing to Warlock, making faces and drawing his fingers close to Warlock’s face. Crowley smiled at the sight. Aziraphale suddenly realized he’d been caught and blushed.
“I almost don’t want to give him back. He’s so cute.” Aziraphale smiled.
“Well, I’d totally let you steal him. If he weren’t my best friend’s.”
Aziraphale chuckled as he handed Warlock back. Crowley carried Warlock to his stroller, ensuring he was secure before standing up again.
“Much more shopping to do?” Aziraphale inquired.
“Not much.” Crowley shook his head. “What about you?”
“I was just going to pick up some prepared foods. They have some great hot soups here.”
Crowley hummed in intrigue.
“But I should let you go on your way. It was nice to meet you and Warlock.” Aziraphale waved down to Warlock in the stroller.
“It was nice meeting you too.” Crowley smiled.
Aziraphale nodded and turned away.
“Wait!” Crowley called after him, and Aziraphale turned back. “I might need your help. If I ever have to watch him again.”