Work Text:
Purple slowly waddled over to their bed, plopping down face first, exhausted from the day. They have just came back from visiting the color gang on the PC. They promised to come and help Blue with his crops, as well as test out Yellow's new invention. It was almost like she never stopped messing around with redstone, they thought.
Purple rolled over to lay on their back, and grabbed their headphones that Green gifted them for their birthday from the messy floor. They didn't see the point in cleaning their room up if no one was there to notice it. At this point, they felt like they're only living for the sake of others.
They took out their phone from the pocket of their cargo shorts and opened Spotify. They typed in the name of some artist called "Nashimoto Ui". Purple thought the name is kind of weird, but Green said their music "is fire", so they were willing to give it a try.
They pressed the play button on shuffle, and a song called "Repeat" came on. The calm melody and a hoarse, raspy voice of some robotic singer really seemed to somehow put their mind at ease. The slow guitar really reminded Purple of when them and Green hung out, and Green would sometimes play their guitar for them.
How long was this song? They could swear that normally at least three songs from his usual playlist would be over. They unlocked their phone to see how long it was — almost eight minutes. Huh. No wonder it seemed as if time was passing faster.
They wished their life would pass as fast though. They wanted to die, really. Sometimes they wished that Mango never pulled them out of the Minecraft void he created, and that they'd be left to die. They have thought about suicide many times after their mother died, but now they finally had the resources and possibility of going through with the idea — they had pills to overdose on, and a sword if they were feeling extra fancy. They thought about the idea for a while, before they got up from their bed and hurried over to their desk to grab a piece of paper and a pen. They sat on their spinny office chair, and began writing:
"Dear Dad and friends,
By the time you're reading this, I'll already be gone. I just need to write my words down before my death. I dedicate this note to all the people that have been part of my life and had supported me at my lowest points.
To Dad:
I know our relationship wasn't the best in the beggining, but I know you tried your best. I just want to say that I love you and am really glad you appeared in my life. You always treated me like your real son, although I'm sorry I had to burden you with my depression and problems. Now that I am dead, I hope you can be less stressed about money.
To my friends:
Green, I just wanted to say that I love you. I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to confess earlier, but I really appreciate that you have me another chance and listened to me on the top of that mountain. I loved spending time with you, and especially playing the piano with you.
Second, you are so kind and wholesome. I loved when you so desperately tried to teach me how to animate, and when you gave me and dad a face. Might seem silly but I loved that a lot and always wished you'd do it again. Thank you for being there.
Red, you are so funny and fun to be around. I loved whenever you brought Reuben as an emotional support pig when I was at my lowest points, and that one time you spawned a cat on my lap. Even though you are so energetic which sometimes overwhelmed me, I still loved you as a friend.
Blue, you are well... Kinda strange to say the least. I still appreciated how you took care of me with yellow, making me potions, food, and stuff. Thank you for that one time when you taught me and Mango how to make certain meals instead of us having to rely on instant ramen.
Yellow, thank you for being there for when I needed you as well. Thank you all for being the best friends I could ever ask for, and for giving me a second chance to redeem myself. I hope all of you will continue to live on happily and fulfill your dreams. I will always cherish the time we spent together as a group, thank you for the time we spent together.
I do not blame anyone for what happened to me, this is a decision I've thought about since my mother died. I thought that staying on this world would change my mind, but it only made my desire to die stronger. I just want too say that I love you all and wish I was strong enough to stay longer with you guys. Please for whoever reads this, check up on your other loved ones. I do not want anyone else to go through the pain I went through.
— Purple "
Tears poured down Purple's cheeks the whole time they were writing, fighting to not fall and stain the already ruined paper. They slowly got up from their seat, walked over to their bed, and sat back down on it. They put the note on their nightstand, which was cluttered with various random items, most of which reminded them of their mom. They opened the drawer, which was filled to the brim with useless stuff. They digged through, dropping some nail polish onto the ground in the process.
Found it. They took out the bottle of their prescription of anti depressants and opened it with trembling hands, struggling while tears threatened to form in the corners of their eyes again. They were so pathetic that they couldn't even open a damn medication bottle. They felt the feeling claw at their throat, fighting to not let out a broken sob. They finally managed to open the bottle and spill almost the full content of it onto their palm. They reached for a bottle of water that was somewhere under their bed with one hand, mentally cursing at themself for not cleaning the place earlier. They wiped their tears away while another song blasted in their headphones on almost full volume, so loud that they didn't hear their dad enter the room.
"Hey Purp," Mango spoke as he entered Purple's private space. Purple darted their head to face the doorway in the speed of light, obviously not hearing their dad's footsteps. "I'm going shopping, wanna–"
Purple could see the orange stickfigure freeze the moment it realized what it walked onto. Their stomach dropped when they saw their dad, immediately trying to come up with an excuse.
"D-Dad! I– I told you to knock!" They panicked, clenching their palm shut to hide the pills. But it was useless, Mango had already seen what Purple was holding.
"I... I did knock, you didn't hear?" Mango answered, not noticing that Purple was wearing headphones. Concerned and confused, Mango added: "...Son, what're you doing..?"
Purple froze, their mind blank. They couldn't think of an excuse to explain their actions, so they just sat there and moved their gaze between their dad and their clenched shut hand. They could feel the judging and concerned stare of their dad's eyes on them, feeling as if their whole world has crumbled into pieces. They blinked multiple times to make sure this was just a bad dream and they'd wake up soon, but it was all real. Mango has caught them on literally trying to kill themself.
Before they could answer, their dad was already sitting next to them, grabbing their hand.
"Son... Can you tell me what happened? Look at me. Please." Mango was freaking out and felt like crying on the inside, but tried his hardest not to. He didn't want Purple to think he's mad at them.
Purple was fighting with every ounce of their being to not just storm out the room and run away. They were so ashamed and panicked that they got caught. Their thoughts felt like a knife in their head, and even if they got rid of them by talking they'd still feel the same, if not worse. They didn't want to burden others with their problems.
"If this is what I think it is... Just know I tried it too. When Gold died. I've... Managed to heal over time." Purple looked up at their dad after he confessed, not expecting for him to do it so casually. "So please, talk to me... I understand if you're going through a hard time, but please. I want to help you."
Purple could see the pain and the urge to not cry in their dad's eyes when he talked to them, an overwhelming wave of guilt suddenly hitting them like a truck.
"I-I'm sorry dad I... I'm so sorry I just— I don't even know why I wanted to do this." Blatant lie. They knew. Knew damn well. But they didn't want Mango to know.
"Hey, shh... It's okay... You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not mad. I completely understand, although I'm... Heartbroken that you thought this is the way out." A spark of hope was ignited in Purple upon hearing these words. Maybe there was still hope for them? Their dad actually cared, unlike their father...
"I don't deserve you."
"What?"
"I– You're too nice. And I never give anything in return. I'm just burdening you with my pathetic problems, constantly anxious about the smallest things." Purple finally broke. They lost control of what they're saying and their crying, not being able to hold it in anymore. A broken sob escaped their throat as they vented to their dad, clutching their temples with their free hand, the one their dad wasn't holding.
"Purple... I'm your dad, you don't have to give me anything in return. As long as you're happy and satisfied, I'm happy." Mango rubbed his thumb over Purple's knuckles soothingly as he watched Purple break. He could feel guilt tugging at his heart for not noticing such obvious signs of wanting to commit suicide earlier. "You aren't burdening me in any way, I'd rather listen to you vent to me than have to visit your grave..." He added, suddenly enveloping his son in a tight hug right after. He didn't let go, despite Purple slightly shifting. Purple soon buried their head in their dad's shoulder, full on crying, tears staining his old gray shirt.
"...Sorry for asking but, is that why you also have... These?" Mango questioned, pulling away from the hug and glancing at his son's healing self harm scars, which were excused as scratches from Red's cats. Mango bought the excuse at first, but now it all made sense.
"Oh, well—" Purple hesitated, self conscious about their scars now. "Yeah... I'm sorry"
Mango could swear he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he heard them say that, confirming his suspicions. "Don't be. You've got nothing to be sorry for." He stated seriously. He wasn't good at comforting people at all, but he could listen and hug — if needed.
This time, Purple was the one to hug Mango. They clung onto their dad for dear life, as if they were scared he'd disappear. They could feel his rough, slight facial hair scratch their neck when he leaned his head to the side. Purple started sobbing again, mumbling a faint "Thank you" into Mango's shoulder between their sobs.
"So, want to go shopping with me?" Mango asked, after around two minutes of comfortable silence. That's why he even entered his son's room after all. "We can buy ice cream or something, I dunno. Whatever makes you feel better."
Purple sniffed and pulled away from the embrace, squinting their eyes at the sudden wave of light entering their eyes. They rubbed their tears away and blinked a few times to adjust to the light.
"Yeah..."
And with that, the two of them exited the room, and left the house, heading to the nearest supermarket. Not before discarding the god forsaken pills into the trash, all sweaty and disgustingly melted because of the sweat that formed on Purple's palm throughout the past hour.