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Venus is a Good Girl. She made sure to take care of her well being and maintain her education so as to not worry her parents. She is never disobedient, and only when asked does she voice her wants.
It’s the least she can do for her busy parents. Bringing trouble from herself isn’t going to help her case. They barely share a meal together after all. It’d be worse if the one time they meet again, it would be because she was being undisciplined.
Still with all the effort put in, her parents managed to discard all of that the moment she hit her double digits. They…they did it with her education in mind. For her future, of course. It just hurt that they were putting even more distance between them.
“Venus.” The sound of cutlery stilled automatically. From the corner of her eye, she watched as her mother dismissed the house maids with the flick of her wrist.
So it’s a family matter then.
Venus makes sure to straighten her spine any more than it was and carefully places her utensils to the side.
She doesn’t miss the lingering gaze from her father at the slight tilt of them.
‘How is school?” Her mother’s warm voice cuts through her concerns, and Venus can’t help but smile softly.
“Everything is good, Ma. I got perfect grades for my finals.” They always ask this question, so it strikes her as odd when she catches herself from stopping her body from squirming. Their eyes only feel heavier when she does.
“And your friends?” Her father inquires, polishing his glass of wine.
“They are well.” Venus clears her throat, suddenly nervous. “And since our last play date, Binh has been wondering if–”
“That is enough, Venus.” There is a sort of passive aggressiveness at the mention of her best friend in the way his glass rings on the table. Venus bites her tongue again.
“How old are you, hm?”
Ah, Venus is suddenly giddy to answer. “I am ten this year, Ba. Thank you for the celebration last week.” Her parents make a small noise of acknowledgement before her father opens his mouth again.
“Your brother will be here in a day’s time.” They watch as she stills. Venus is grateful nothing is in her hands. She snatches them from the table top and hides them beneath the covers. She realizes with startling clarity that they are shaking only when the conversation ends later.
“H-how long will he be visiting, Ba?” This time she cannot stop the trembling of her voice, or the hope pathetically attached to it. It has been, what, five years since she’s seen him in person? She wonders how much he’s grown and how much he’s changed. There’s only a fuzzy image of him laughing alongside her as they watch a movie, accompanied with the behavior she’s seen through video calls.
“Mmh, maybe three days and two nights.” Her parents share a look amongst each other, seemingly reaching a conclusion when her mother looks away with a shaky breath. Venus only barely restrains her frown.
“Venus,” her mother begins, “you are a good girl, yes?”
“Of course, Ma.” Venus immediately winces at her quick reply. Now there’s desperation in her tone. Why?
“Well, for the remainder of your education, we decided it’d be best if you joined your brother overseas.” Her mother’s voice is suddenly hard, hard in a way she’s never known.
“Ma?” Her vision is blurring, but she just can’t figure out why for the life of her.
“Venus.” Her father snaps. “It’s about time you’ve gone. You know your brother left when he was three years younger than you are now.”
Her chest is heaving suddenly, and she doesn’t. Know. Why.
“The education is better there. And your brother did fine without us, I’m sure you will, too.” Venus nods numbly, barely registering her mother’s softening voice. All she knows is that it’s still stilted and guarded.
“We only delayed it for this long because your mother wanted you to spend more time with Binh, God forbid why, but it’s time. Your tutor says you’re almost fluent in English, so I assume you’re more than ready.” When there’s no answer, her father bangs the table again.
“Right, Venus?”
There’s so many eyes on her, and somehow Venus can feel the housemaids' just nearing the closed door of their dining room too.
There’s too many eyes.
Venus wants to scream. How could her parents just drop news like this and expect her to cope? But of course, it’s probably her fault for making them assume she could handle something this big. All she can do now is respond like how she always does, even as she feels like she’s being engulfed by a wave, one too big to swim up from.
“Of course I’m ready, B–ba.” And then her parents laugh, congratulating her and her maturity, and Venus can feel her mask ( mask(?) slip farther down.
Dinner has never been longer in her life. [/em]
When her brother visits, Venus realizes how tired she is. She’s perhaps had the most fun in these past twenty four hours than before (excluding Binh’s monthly play dates, but she supposes she can’t mention him anymore, can she?), and it shocks her that it’s all coming from her brother, the ache in her mouth, the pain in her stomach, and the warm, gooey feeling in her limbs. All feelings she knows she won’t be able to feel for a while.
Oh, Venus feels mature. Plenty after having her reality crash down in ten minutes, but…
She wishes maturity didn’t entail this. She wishes it didn’t have to take an excruciatingly heartbreaking talk with her parents after weeks of no meeting together to get this.
A bitter taste follows her through each meal before they head to the airlines. Not even the twinkle in her brother’s eyes can soothe it. Still, she tries to see the light in her situation. She was allowed to write a letter to her closest friends, Binh’s being the longest. In the letter, she gave him her email and address in the States so that they could further communicate. Venus clutches the newest Samsung model between her trembling hands as she settles into her first class chair. When he receives the letter and she the email, she hopes she can add her phone number there, too.
When she takes her first steps into her bedroom of their shared apartment, Venus finally feels the mask fall from her chin. It cracks tragically on the cold, wooden floor and she just barely makes it to the edge of the bedframe before sliding down.
If her cries echoed through the crack of her door, her brother didn’t comment.
–
Venus blinks awake, startling from her curled position. She’s on her bed, the covers still wet from all her crying. Her knees feel sore from having cried for so long, and her hair doesn’t feel any better, all stuck up from the flight and her frustrated confusion. She feels the pull of sleep take her mind again. This time she willingly accepts it, drifting into a fitful sleep. Before she does though, one more thought manages to set her heart offbeat again. Even as she knows her brother is probably in the room next door or in the kitchen, she still can’t help but think it, and it makes her feel even more awful.
Ah. I’m alone, aren’t I?