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"Good morning class,” said the teacher when he entered the room. “Today we are going to do some other practical work. But before that, let's do a quick recap. Yesterday we learnt about what?"
Lily raised her hand quickly.
"Yes, Miss Evans?"
"The amortentia potion and its traits, professor.”
"That's right. Today we will be brewing the so-called potion. The ingredients are on the table, you have until the end of the lesson,” the teacher said and walked to the other side of the classroom to finish grading some tests, leaving the students to their work.
Lily looked to the right of her where her eyes met those of her best friend. Mary had a big smile on her face. Lily smiled back, but Mary's smile didn't seem to disappear. “What?” she laughed, “Do I have something on my face?”
Mary kept giggling.
“Oh my god, Mary, stop it!” she pushed her friend lightly.
“I'm too lazy to go get the ingredients, soo..” Mary explained and nodded her head towards the ingredients table. The smile was still stuck on her face, enticing as ever.
“God, you're so dumb,” Lily shook her head in disbelief. Still, she got up slowly, making sure her skirt didn't come up on the way.
Once she got back with all the stuff, Mary was already talking to some boy sitting behind her. Lily sighed. Mary really couldn't go a minute without flirting, could she? Lily was getting quite tired of it recently, but obviously she wasn't gonna tell Mary that. So once again, she did all the hard work herself, while her friend enjoyed talking to her “new friend”. His voice was annoying as fuck too in Lily's opinion. When it had been 15 minutes, Lily finally snapped.
“Stop talking to people and help me with this potion, that by the way is half your grade. Or do you not wanna get into uni suddenly?”
Mary was a little startled. Her mouth flew open and her eyes were regretful. “Right, I'm sorry.”
“Yeah, well you better be.”
The next half an hour went by in silence, with only the small bubbles rising from their cauldron interrupting it every once in a while. Despite their differences and occasional rows, the girls had always worked great together. Everytime Mary raised her hand, Lily instantly knew what to give her and vice versa. They had stopped needing words after being potions class partners for so many years. Lily would never want to work with anyone else. Lily's first potions had been her ex-best friend Severus. That clearly hadn't worked out, since he got mad at her attempting to help with literally anything. It was just so much easier with Mary. Lily enjoyed watching the way her friend worked. One thing about Mary was that she never sat while she was doing something practical. She couldn't just sit down while mixing the ingredients or even just reading the instructions. So a few minutes in, Mary's chair had somehow made its way to the wall.
When Mary did finally sit down properly and let out a relieved sigh, Lily knew the potion was finished.
“Do you wanna have the first smell?” she broke the silence.
“Sure, I guess.”
Lily moved away from the table, leaving room for the other to come stand there. Cautiously, Mary took up the spoon that had been left in their mixture. She looked up at Lily for a second before taking a sniff. The emotion on her face couldn't be described as anything other than surprised.
“Well?” Lily asked impatiently, “What does it smell like?”
“Uhm, I think it's like some flower? Not sure what exactly,” Mary sniffed again. This time she took the smell in and made sure to process it. Confused, she looked at the bottle, trying to shake it. Taking another sniff, her face lit up in realisation. She turned excitedly to Lily. “Ohhh, I think it's cinnamon," considering the thought for a second, she nodded again, "Yeah, definitely cinnamon."
Lily stared back at her curiously. She tried to think of someone who would smell like cinnamon and flowers, but no one came to mind. Lily hoped it wasn't just another dumb boy. It wouldn't matter if it was though. It's not like she was jealous or anything. She just wants Mary to be happy. Yes. That is all that she wants.
"I love cinnamon,” Mary smiled, getting Lily's attention again. Mary closed her eyes and kept smelling the liquid.
“Yeah me too!” Lily nodded enthusiastically, “Cinnamon with apples is so good.”
"I'm not sure if it smells like someone specific," Mary said then, looking around the room with her eyebrows lowered.
Lily really wanted to know what amortentia smells like for her now. Would it be something obvious like books and flowers? Or would it smell like someone she knew. She waited a second, but Mary was still holding the bottle tightly in her hand. It didn't look like she planned to pass the bottle on so Lily had to ask.
“Hey, can I smell now?”
Mary stared at her and for a second Lily swore she saw Mary's eyes widen.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah sorry," Mary waved her hand and looked down. "Just got a little distracted. Here, have it," she pushed the bottle into Lily's hands. Her hands lingered for a second, brushing against the only ring on Lily's hand. It was the one James had gifted her on their first date. They had both moved on now, but Lily still treasured the ring and wore it proudly everywhere she went.
"Go on,” Mary smiled lightly, “Smell," she waved her fingers around like smelling that liquid would be a huge deal. Who knows, maybe it was for her.
Lily looked down at the bottle in her hand. It was very light, she could barely feel it in her hand. The liquid was rose pink. The aroma was already escaping through the gap between the cork and the bottle. Sighing, she brought it close to her nose and smelled.
Before she could even process the smell, a voice came from behind Lily's head.
"Oh, I'm so done with this," she looked up and her eyes met Peter's. "Can you not see the obvious?" he shook his head. "You two have been in love with each other for a goddamn long time. I'm telling you, a really REALLY long time. Me and the others promised to wait it out, til you guys figured it out yourselves. Recently it's gotten so much worse though and I can't take it. You're making all those lovey-dovey eyes that Frank and Alice make at each other. It's disgusting, really. I swear I did my best to ignore it and not point it out, I really did," he waved his finger at them angrily.
Lily could feel Mary's eyes on her. She refused to look back. She wouldn't. She kept a firm stare on the table Peter was slamming his hand on while trying to make a point. About them. Her and Mary. Mary and her. Wait what? Her and Mary? This can't be. Mary? In love with her? There's just no way. They're just friends. Yeah, they flirt sometimes, but that doesn't mean anything. They flirt with everyone. And she can't be in love with Mary Macdonald. She shouldn't even think that way about her. They're friends, they have been since they were in nappies or since even before that.
Peter didn't seem to notice how Lily was close to having a mental breakdown and continued.
"But with this obliviousness going on you probably won't realise it for another 10 years, Merlin," he sighed, scratching his eyebrows with his hand. He looked back up at them, still oblivious to the obvious panic in the room. "I mean, even Remus and Sirius realised their feelings before you idiots. Do you hear me? REMUS AND SIRIUS!!!" he shouted.
Remus turned his head towards them at the mention of his and Sirius' names. Lily just shook her head and mouthed that she would explain later.
"Mr. Pettigrew, is there a problem?" the professor's displeased voice emerged.
Peter blushed a little. "No, it's nothing, professor.. I'm sorry I overreacted," he mumbled. He turned his weary glare back towards Lily and Mary. Neither of them said anything.
"You two, stop staring," he said sturdily. Still no reaction. Lily kept her stare steady. Maybe if she wouldn't say anything she wouldn't have to deal with the situation. Maybe it was all just an awfully bad dream.
Peter smiled awkwardly at the continuous silence looking around. Half the room was staring at them by now. He leaned over and whispered. "Guys, this is getting creepy. Say something. Please"
Suddenly Lily felt a lot dizzier than before. "I'm gonna- yes- bathroom," she rambled hurriedly and ran off with such a speed that James, who had been on the way to his table, had to jump up to give her some room and ended up stumbling over a chair and onto a table. He started to fall, but Marlene caught him before his back had met the floor.
Lily shouted a quick "Sorry!" not being able to look back, afraid of seeing Mary and her huge brown eyes there.
She wasn't really thinking. Lily just ran and ran and ran.
When she finally took a break, she had no idea where she was. Had to be a bathroom based on the smell. But Lily had had enough of all kinds of smells for the day. Unlike Mary, Lily had recognized the smell in the amortentia instantly. Of course it smelled like Mary. Deep down she had always known what the smell would be. Not that any of it mattered anymore. Mary knew that she liked her. And there wasn't a chance that those feelings would ever be reciprocated. Lily was done for. She was going to rot in this bathroom stall for the rest of her life. In reality, she would prefer to die somewhere a little more beautiful and magical, like a flower field. But the smelly stall had to do. In no world would she ever go out again. At some point, tears had started forming in the corners of Lily's eyes and were now on their journey down her cheek, slowly dropping from her chin down onto her freckled knees. It was quiet and it seemed to help her a little. Afterall her alone-time had always been something she enjoyed and cherished.
“Lily?”
Fuck this. Why couldn't people ever leave her alone?
“Lily, I know you're in there.”
“Go away, Mary.”
“And what if I don't?”
Lily didn't have anything to say to that.
“I know today has been a bit strange and a lot has happened,” Mary started.
Lily chuckled. “Sure. Just a bit.”
“Come out, please?”
Lily looked at her hands. She really wasn't ready for that conversation yet. She had been expecting to have at least a few years before Mary realised that the feelings Lily had for her weren't purely platonic.
“Fine. If you won't come out, then I'm coming in,” Mary said and with a leap she jumped and a second later, Lily somehow found the girl sitting on the toilet next to her.
“Fuck you and your sports abilities,” Lily murmured, avoiding Mary's stare.
“Aww, cmon, don't be jealous now,” Mary cooed and booped Lily's nose.
Lily glared at her friend and Mary seemed to take the hint, because she didn't say anything else after that. Thank god for that.
Lily was getting rather uncomfortable though. They were now sitting alone together in some random bathroom stall that was located somewhere in the depth of the castle. Lily was becoming dangerously aware of the brown haired girl, who she was madly in love with, sitting right next to her in a space smaller than her desk at home. Mary was leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. There wasn't much room in the stall so Lily's knees were brushing against Mary's. It was also getting a lot warmer. The tears found their way into her eyes once again. Mary seemed to take notice of that.
“Hey, hey,” she shushed, “Don't cry now. It's okay, really.”
Lily couldn't take it. She buried her head into Mary's chest and kept on sobbing.
“God, I feel like an idiot. I'm really sorry, Mary,” she stammered through her sobbing, “I just can't help it. I swear I've tried. I tried dating James and then I tried yoga and whatever else they say helps clear the mind, but it was all so pointless, because all I could really think about was you. Like, after me and James broke up I just feel like another world opened for me and that world totally revolves around you. I really like you so much, but I swear if I could do anything to not like you, then I would. I mean I'm just an idiot really, so dumb, because you obviously don't like me back and-”
“Wait wait, slow down,” Mary pressed her finger to Lily's lips. “What are you on about? Who ever said anything about me not liking you?”
Lily was sure her heart just skipped about 4 beats. She even counted.
“Wait what,” she blinked.
“I like you, Lily. A lot.”
“But what about all the boys? Like Michael? You were together just last week. And I don't know, Jonathan? You were mad about him. I'm really confused,” she wiped her nose.
“Well, you just said you tried to distract yourself to clear your mind, right? That's also kind of how it was for me. I thought there was no way you would ever like me back so I tried dating all these boys hoping that maybe I'd start liking them, but I never did. It has always been you, Lily.”
“God this is kind of embarrassing,” Lily cackled. The crying had seemed to stop finally.
Mary took Lily's hand into hers. “I'm sorry I never told you. I guess- I think I was just scared. You know, being queer has never been that big of a deal for wizards, but we're muggleborn so it's different. I know you'd never, like, judge me or anything, but I guess it's kind of different when it's you who I like.”
“No yeah, I get it. I mean I was also really scared. Still am. To be honest, I don't think I ever really acknowledged it myself, because I've had to deal with quite some insecurities throughout my life and well my parents have always talked about me having to get married to a man and it's just really scary for me. I don't want them to hate me.”
“Oh darling, no one could ever hate you. You're amazing. You have the kindest heart and you're hilarious. You make sure everyone around you feels good and you care so much. You're incredible, really.”
That made Lily want to cry again. She smiled, “I think I needed to hear that.”
“And I'll tell you again, as long as you need.”
Even years later, when they had become all wrinkled, Lily would still think that the first kiss she had with Mary was the most magical moment of her life. And that's a lot coming from a witch.
But it really was magical. Just simple and cute. If you can consider kissing in a dirty bathroom stall with a tear-stained face cute. Lily didn't remember who indicated the kiss first, but it doesn't really matter anyway.
“So,” Mary started.
“So,” Lily repeated, looking up hopefully.
“Does this mean you smelled me in the amortentia?”
Lily scoffed, “No, I smelled expensive shampoo and leather. Guess it means I'm in love with Sirius. Who's gonna tell Remus, because I'm coming for his boyfriend,” Lily acted out determinedly.
“You're such an idiot,” Mary giggled and kissed her again.
“Your idiot,” Lily whispered between kisses.
“Guess we should go thank Peter now. Don't know how long we would have gone on pining for if he hadn't said anything, eh?” Mary bumped their shoulders together with a smile on her face.
“Definitely longer than 10 years, he was totally underestimating us,” Lily giggled.
“Yeah, I think we should get awards for being the most oblivious people in the universe.”
“Well my fellow oblivious buddy, what does this make us then?” asked Lily as she wanted to be sure what to call their situation thingy from now on.
“Well my fellow potions buddy, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” asked Mary, kneeling on one knee as she had to make it as dramatic as possible, even though there were no observers in the small bathroom stall, that they, by the way, were still in.
“Yes please, I'd love to,” Lily giggled letting Mary put a ring on her hand, that she had just somehow formed out of toilet paper.
“You reckon we should go tell the others now?”
“Oh my god, yes, I need to see Peter's face.”
≈ ≈ ≈
“Look who's coming,” Sirius said with a grin before they were even close. He was tucked in between Peter and Remus. James was sitting on the ground with his head in Lily's lap who was sharing a sofa with Marlene.
“So?” asked Marlene, emerging from the kitchen to see the two newcomers.
“We're dating,” giggled Lily, waving the toilet paper ring in everyone's faces.
“What? No way. Why didn't you guys let me do this months ago?” Peter stood up and imitated his head blowing up.
“It's because otherwise you'd go around spilling everyone's secrets,” said Marlene, twirling her hair around while trying to find a seat for her to land into.
“Mm, I guess that's fair,” Peter sighed. “Anyone fancy a game of chess now,” he asked, his eyes lighting up at the thought.
Her friends had fun talking and playing all evening, but what made Lily smile the most, was the small little toilet paper ring on her finger, that she'd treasure for countless more years to come.