Archive of Our Own

The black bird’s descent was graceful, albeit in a horrifying way. Shin saw the black bird disappear through the foliage, then he heard a loud, crashing sound. The sound startled Shin. Without thinking, Shin moved forward to the crash site. The mechanical legs of his Juggernaut moved as quickly as it could. 

I hope whoever is inside is alright, Shin thought. 

It was suicidal to save the black bird alone. The Legion was prowling around the area. Though, Shin was willing to take the risk. He reasoned the approaching night might help him. The darkness could shield his Juggernaut from Legion scouts. That, and he knew the Legion would stand down to recharge their batteries for the night. With these facts in mind, Shin continued towards the crash site.

It wasn’t difficult to find the wrecked black bird. Black smoke rose into the darkening sky. Shin used that as a marker. His Juggernaut reached the crash site without any obstacle. The burning wreckage stunned Shin. Bright flames licked the metal sides of the black bird. The impact threw its occupants out of the black bird. He identified a number of people: there were four Albans present. Two Alban men in flight jackets were dead. A third man — an older Alban gentleman in a military uniform — was dead too. His silver eyes stared at the evening sky. Its gaze was glassy. The fourth—

—an Alban child?

This was peculiar. What was an Alban child doing here? Onboard a helicopter, nonetheless? Shin noted this Alban child wore a white-and-violet dress. The child also had flowing silver hair like the Alban man in the military uniform. Shin surmised it was a girl.

Are they… father and daughter…? Shin thought.

Shin pondered on the matter until he heard it. It was a voice. Yet, it wasn’t coming from his Para-RAID. It’s something else. Something far worse. This voice was repeating the same sentence over and over. I don’t want to die. I want to live. The disjointed voice was coming from somewhere. Shin narrowed his crimson eyes. The source of the death-wish was distant. Shin’s gaze swept across the area.

The Amiese approached the helicopter from Shin’s right flank. The Amiese’s mechanical hooves echoed in the interior of the Juggernaut. Despite its size, the Amiese was an imposing war machine to infantry. They acted as the eyes and ears of the Legion. The Amiese was the smallest drone in that unmanned army. It was also carried the least amount of weapons: its only form of defense were a pair of machine-guns. The Amiese must’ve sighted the fallen black bird and rushed here to inspect the downed craft.

Shin inhaled, then exhaled. His gloved hands gripped the throttles. His thumbs hovered over the triggers of his Juggernaut. He watched the Amiese lumber towards the killzone. His retinal scope turned from white to red. His thumbs pressed the triggers. The 57 mm smoothbore gun lit up the evening. A flash, then an explosion. The armor piercing shell blasted through the Amiese. It was a clean kill. The disjointed voice disappeared from Shin’s mind. It was quiet in this area.

Shin approached the burning helicopter. He parked his Juggernaut a few meters away. The young Processor opened the canopy and disembarked from the manned drone. Shin carried a 9mm pistol in his hands. He recalled his captain’s words: “When it gets difficult, you must remember this: never let the Legion capture you. You take this, and you aim it at your head. You squeeze the trigger with your finger, and it will be over in an instant.” That, and how he must carry a weapon with him at all times. Shin knew there would come an occasion he would have to use the pistol.

Shin sprinted towards the Alban girl. He saw her chest rising and falling. She was fine. She was alive. Yet, it was certain she would die if she didn’t leave the wreckage. Shin holstered his pistol, and he tried to pull her out of the wreckage. Too difficult. Next, he tried to lift the metal component pinning down the Alban girl. Too heavy. Shin felt he was running out of options.

—Then, the girl woke up.

The girl’s silver eyes looked up at Shin. Those eyes captivated Shin. They reminded him of two full moons.

Shin knelt down, and said, “I’m here to help you. But I also need your help. Can you help me?”

The Alban girl’s silver eyes widened. She nodded. It took some effort, but after a minute, Shin managed to free the trapped Alban girl. Shin helped the Alban girl to her feet. When she stood up, she was about the same height as him, if not taller. Grime marred her fair face. Her expression was sullen.

“T-Thank you,” the Alban girl said. 

“Uh… you’re welcome.” Shin replied.

Shin’s cheeks flushed, despite his solemn expression. He didn’t know why he was blushing. It wasn’t his first instance of talking to a woman. In fact, his captain was a woman, and some of his squadmates were women too. Was it because she was someone around his age? Shin didn’t know anyone his age in his squadron. Plus, those who were in his age group were still in the concentration camps.

In the end, Shin dispelled those thoughts. He had other pressing matters at hand. No doubt the Legion sent a search party to find their missing friend. The young Processor grabbed the Alban girl’s hand, and he directed her to his Juggernaut.

“...W-Wait! My father—!”

“He’s dead.” Shin interjected.

In the present, Shin did reflect on that memory. He wished he phrased his words in a better light. Was it due to his desperation to leave that place? Or was he blind to that girl’s sensitivity? Now, he might’ve been more careful to phrase things, but in the past, Shin didn’t know any better. Instead, he stated the truth upfront. He recalled the Alban girl’s crestfallen face, and how she broke free from his grasp. How she ran towards her father and shook him. The Alban girl pleaded, then begged, and in the end, bawled out her silver eyes. Her dewy tears stained her father’s Prussian-blue uniform. If it was a fairytale, her tears might wake up her dead father.

Life isn’t a fairytale, though.

Shin sauntered towards her. Her sorrows echoed in the night sky. The stars watched over her grief. Shin put a gloved hand on the Alban girl’s shoulder. The girl’s sobbing died down, then she turned her head to Shin. He tried to wear a reassuring face. Yet, he wasn’t like Rei. He didn’t possess his older brother’s charming smile. I can’t smile anymore. Not after what he did to me, Shin thought.

“Please. Stand up. We can’t stay here. The Legion will be coming. We have to go.” Shin said.

The Alban girl stared at him. Shin knelt down, and their eyes locked.

“My name is Shinei Nouzen. But everyone calls me ‘Shin.’ What’s your name?”

The Alban girl sniffed. “M-My name… my name is… Vladilena. Vladilena Milizé. But everyone calls me ‘Lena.’”

Shin raised a hand and patted her silver hair. “Don’t worry, Lena. I’ll bring you home. Do you know where your home is?”

Lena nodded. “Y-Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll bring you home. I promise.” Shin replied.

The young Processor stopped patting Lena’s head. He put his hand in front of Lena, then he extended his pinky finger. Lena stared at Shin’s pinky finger, then she looped her pinky finger around his.

“Now, that’s a promise.” Shin stood up and offered her a hand. “Come. Let’s go.”

Lena took Shin’s hand. She stood up, and when Lena wiped her last tears, they departed from the burning wreckage. While sauntering towards the parked Juggernaut, Shin held onto Lena’s hand. That was the first time Shin held someone else’s hand, besides his family. His past memories resurfaced, but Shin shook his head to dispel them. At this time, he had no use of those stained memories.

Shin opened the canopy, then he helped Lena into the Juggernaut. The design of the Juggernaut wasn’t fit for multiple people. Since the Republic of San Magnolia viewed the Colorata as livestock, it didn’t consider further modifications to the Juggernaut manned drone. No wonder its pilots called the Juggernaut “a metal coffin.” Shin sat down on the seat first, followed by Lena sitting on his lap. Shin sealed the canopy, and now, Shin realized how tight the cockpit was. There was little room for him to move his arms. Not when someone else was with him.

“Woah… so this is what a Juggernaut looks like on the inside…” Lena murmured.

“What?” Shin asked.

“...N-Nothing.” Lena replied.

Shin gripped the throttles of his Juggernaut, and he navigated back to base. The distance to the base was a bit far, but it wasn’t a long journey. Halberd Squadron maintained a consistent patrol route. If someone went missing during patrol, the squadron tracked down the missing pilot’s last known position, based on the patrol route that pilot was taking that night. Shin retraced his steps to the base, despite the difficulties present.

“Shin… Shin is a Processor…?” Lena asked.

Shin nodded. “Yes.”

“Father… Father told me… the Processors have difficult lives…”

“...”

To say “have difficult lives” was a great understatement. Shin was a victim in this corrupt and inhumane system. A system which didn’t mind sending children to fight and die in faraway battlefields.

“So, is it true…?” Lena asked.

“Yes. It is.”

Lena fell silent. Her silver eyes scanned her surroundings. 

“Is… the Juggernaut always like this?”

“Yes.”

Shin remained silent. He didn’t have time to entertain Lena. He heard the horde of dying voices from the corner of his mind. They were approaching the crash site. His suspicions were correct. The Legion was out to find their missing companion. The only thing the Legion would find was an exploded wreck of an Amiese. Shin pushed forward the throttles. The Juggernaut’s mechanical legs quickened its pace.

Few minutes passed, and the familiar sight of Halberd Squadron Headquarters appeared in view. Shin saw a few windows with lights shining out their glass panes. Through the clearing, Shin’s Juggernaut arrived at the base. A few squadmates were outside. No doubt taking in the cool air of the night. Or spending their time in revelry. A bit of respite between their Handlers’ reckless missions stabilized the Processors’ mental state.

“We’re here.” Shin declared in his usual, deadpan voice.

“Woah,” Lena gasped.

Shin halted his Juggernaut, then he popped open the canopy. Lena exited the manned drone, then followed by Shin. The Processors called out to Shin, and they waved at him. When they rushed towards him, their bright faces changed. It was the same expression Rei bore that day. Shin felt an uncomfortable itching sensation burrowing into his chest and neck. He wanted to scratch his neck, but his ragged scarf prevented him.

“...Is... Is that an Alban—?!”

“What’s an Alban kid doing here?!”

“Shin, where did you find this pig?!” 

“There’s a silver brat among us!”

The Processors huddled around the children. Their incredulousness assailed both children’s senses.

“What’s going on here?!” A motherly voice exclaimed.

The Processors gasped, and they parted ways for their captain. A Jet woman in combat fatigues approached Shin and Lena. Her ink-black hair trailed behind. The captain stared down at the children with an inquisitive look.

“Shin, who is this? And where did you find her?” The woman asked.

“At a clearing in the forest, captain. Her name’s Lena.” Shin answered.

“Hello,” Lena said while waving her hand.

“...”

Shin’s captain remained silent. She scrutinized Lena. An Alban girl among their ranks. She must’ve been a passenger on that scout-plane we saw earlier, Shin’s captain thought. Earlier in the day, the Processors did witness a black bird flying past their position. Some Processors might’ve attempted to shoot down the black bird, if not for the five-color emblem emblazoned on its metal sides. If what Shin was true, then she needed to send that child back to her parents at once.

“Shin, go and park your Juggernaut at the hangar,” Shin’s captain said. “Now—Lena, was it?—come. We’ll find you a nice place to rest and sleep. Then, we’ll send you home tomorrow morning.”

“Ah, yes.” Lena nodded.

Shin’s captain took Lena’s hand and guided her to the headquarters. Lena turned back her head to see Shin hop back into his Juggernaut. Lena wasn’t afraid of being alone, but there was something uncomfortable being alone without him. What was this strange feeling nagging at her chest? She couldn’t describe it at that time, but she knew this feeling as “loneliness.”

Despite the decrepit environment, the Processors treated her as though she was a fellow Processor. Shin’s captain was the gentlest among the Processors. She exuded a motherly aura. Her smile reminded Lena of her mother, Margarete. The Processors wiped the grime off her filthy face. They even offered Lena some of their rations, despite their own hardships.

Father was right. The Republic did mistreat them… Lena thought. 

The sudden thought of her father upset Lena. The Processors panicked while Lena broke into sobs. It took some time to console Lena, but the Alban girl calmed down at the end. The recent events of the evening wore down Lena. Shin’s captain realized the Alban girl’s current state, and she said, “Why don’t I show you to your bunk for the night?” Lena looked up at the Jet woman, and she nodded.

Shin’s captain brought Lena to a certain room. The room was dark, save for the moonlight beaming through the window. There was a mattress and pillow on the floor. Lena gaped. Shin was sitting alone in the darkness. In his hands was a book. It was difficult to distinguish what kind of book he was reading in the dim room. Shin’s captain let out a dejected sigh.

“How many times have I told you not to read in the dark, Shin? You’ll ruin your eyes.” Shin’s captain said.

“Sorry, Captain.” Shin replied.

“Shin, can Lena sleep with you tonight? I don’t trust the other Processors. And she seems to be alright with you around.”

Shin nodded. “Understood, Captain.”

“Great!” Shin’s captain clapped her hands. “Lena, you’ll be bunking with Shin tonight.”

Lena fidgeted. “O-Okay.”

“Shin, make sure you take care of her, okay?”

“Understood, Captain.” Shin replied.

“Argh! Cut it with that ‘captain’ stuff! I told you to call me by my first name!” Shin’s captain huffed.

Lena giggled. This Jet woman was capable of some eccentrics. Shin’s captain departed from the room. And then, there were two children. Lena approached Shin’s mattress. She hesitated. She never slept with anyone besides her parents and her wet nurse. Would Shin be comfortable sleeping with someone like her? Lena’s ethnicity were the ones who condemned Shin to a life of suffering in the concentration camps.

Yet, if Shin wanted to kill her, he would’ve left her to die in that helicopter. Lena sat next to Shin. His eyes were on the words in the book. Since then, Lena couldn’t find someone to match the same seriousness in this Pyrope boy’s crimson eyes. There was an alluring charm to his aloof, deadpan expression.

“S-Shin, I’ll be sleeping now… are you okay with that?” Lena asked.

Shin nodded. His gaze never left the paragraphs. “...Sure.”

Lena laid down on the mattress. It wasn’t like her bed. It was hard and cold. The pillow was no different. It served to hammer home the Processors’ horrid living conditions. Lena wanted to sleep, but she found it hard to do so. The events lingered in her mind. Shutting her eyes didn’t fix anything. Instead of darkness, she saw that scene. A man in a military uniform. His smile faded. His head crumbled away. His uniform collapsed on the ground. She was screaming for that man. For her father. The man who died in that helicopter crash. The father who left behind his daughter in this forsaken world.

Don’t leave me.

“I won’t leave you.”

Those words. Lena’s eyelids opened. She saw Shin lying next to her. He clasped Lena’s shivering hands. A concerned look appeared on his face. For the first time, the Pyrope boy showed emotions. 

“I won’t leave you.” Shin repeated. “I’ll be here for you.”

Lena’s mouth opened. Her silver eyes widened. Those words brought reassurance to her. Lena gazed at this Pyrope boy until her eyelids fluttered and slumber consumed her. When Lena dozed off into deep sleep, Shin dozed off too. His hands never let go of Lena’s hands.

When the dawn broke, Lena was gone.

When Shin woke up, he panicked. Where did Lena go? Did someone cart off that Alban girl? He shot up from his mattress and rushed around the base. Shin searched for Lena. He found his captain with the Processors in the mess hall. 

“Captain… Captain! Lena’s gone!” Shin exclaimed.

Shin’s captain nodded with a cheerful smile. “Yes, she is. The Albans came this morning. I informed them about Lena. I woke up Lena, and I handed her over to the officers. They’ll handle it from here.”

Oh… that’s… that’s good to hear, Shin thought. Yet, a part of his mind refused to believe she was gone. Did he grow to become attached to her? It was impossible. He came to view Albans with disdain. They were responsible for sending his parents to their deaths. They were the reason Shin was separated from Rei. They were the ones who forced him to pilot that metallic coffin.

But Lena isn’t one of them. She was nice… sweet… shy… she couldn’t be evil, could she? Shin thought.

In the end, Shin accepted the fact. Lena was gone. He nodded, then he marched off to have his breakfast.

Shinei Nouzen wondered if he would ever meet Vladilena Milizé in the future. 

Shinei Nouzen didn't know what fate had in mind for him.