Chapter Text
Penelope knew that people would be desperate to find a way to get the Queens money. But she never expected someone to go this far.
There’s a grand dinner, not quite a ball, at the Bridgerton home. In celebration of her and Colin’s engagement. Half of the ton is in attendance, at her mother’s insistence of course.
It’s after all the courses, as everyone mingles with a glass of lemonade or mead, that Penelope overhears it. She has gotten so used to sticking to corners and listening, she finds she can’t even stop now.
The panic is about to set it.
Cressida Cowper has paid to have fake Lady Whistledown sheets printed, naming herself as the anonymous writer. She’ll hand herself in for the money. Penelope hears every word of her assuring her mother that she has done everything to do so.
Of course, it’s at this exact moment Penelope realises the time.
Five minutes till midnight.
She catches Eloise’s eyes across the room, who looks somewhere between irritated, upset, and smug.
She can’t breathe.
Her corset it laced too tight thanks to her mother’s instruction, and she can’t breathe.
Her mind is swirling with thoughts of Colin, and Whistledown and every mistake she has ever made in her idiotic miserable life. And she can’t breathe.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she registers Eloise’s face turning into concern, watching her.
“Pen, are you alright?”
Penelope’s vision is blurring, she only knows it’s Colin from his voice.
“I can’t breathe.” She just manages to get out.
And then everything goes black.
✧✧❁✧✧
Eloise panics.
She realises what’s happening a second before everyone else.
Penelope drops like dead weight, Colin thankfully catching her before she smashes her head into the marble floor.
Everyone’s a mess now. There’s panic and calling for a physician and Eloise can barely breathe through it all.
Her vision is starting to go blurry with tears and panic.
“Eloise breathe.”
It’s whispered into her with a harshness that shocks her into taking a few gasping breaths. Benedict.
He’s holding her free hand, the other having clutched at Penelope’s without her realising.
Colin carries her to a spare bedroom, placing her on the bed so the doctor can look over her. Eloise can’t help but hover almost as much as Colin. Their mother a few paces behind. Eloise hasn’t a clue where Portia may be.
✧✧❁✧✧
Penelope wakes up slowly and uncomfortably. She can still feel the restring corset around her. But, she is at least on a comfy bed.
“Pen?” She hears from a familiar but decidedly unexpected voice. Eloise.
“Penelope. My love.” Colin says softly, she feels him squeeze her hand.
She opens her eyes, first catching Violet. She’s in the corner of the room by the door. She graces Penelope with a warm smile before excusing herself and slipping out.
Eloise is perched on the bed, though she quickly stands when Penelope looks at her. Colin sits on her other side.
“We must loosen your corset Ma’am.” One of the Bridgerton maids says. She nods, and watches with amusement as one by one, the two maids and Eloise turn to look at Colin.
It takes him a moment to realise why. Penelope has to try not to smile, he’s seen her in far less than a corset.
"I am not leaving her like this!" Colin argues.
“Her modesty?! Mr Bridgerton please leave the room. The Doctor has already advised her wellness.” She proclaims.
“I’ll be okay.” Penelope says, giving his hand a squeeze.
He gives a small nod, though he does not look pleased. He leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead before excusing himself.
There’s an awkward silence as Eloise stays off to the side as the maids help her stand. They undo her dress, moving on to unlace her corset.
The relief is instant. She can already feel the no doubt red lines on her skin from where the boning stuck in.
The maids leave after lacing it loosely and fixing her dress.
The silence stretches, only to be broken by Eloise who has clearly been stewing in her silence.
“You still haven’t told him.”
Penelope can’t look her in the eye, just shakes her head no.
“I didn’t think, all things considered, that you’d be a coward.”
✧✧❁✧✧
“A Miss Penelope Featherington is here.” Humboldt announces, making Eloise lose her place in her book.
Colin moves to stand.
“For Miss Eloise.” He adds on. All heads turning to look at her.
Eloise supposes she might as well see what she wants.
Humboldt leads her to a drawing room on the other side of the house, the one they often don’t use.
Penelope has her back to the door, staring out the window. Eloise can’t lie, she’s worried. She hears the door close behind her, doesn’t bother turning around to look.
“You are right. I am a coward.” Penelope says. And it hurts to hear her say. Even though those are Eloise’s words.
“Penelope.” Eloise says with a sigh, moving to stand next to her. Staring out the window too.
“I knew from the moment he proposed I’d have to tell him. But to know I’ll lose my only chance at the one thing I’ve ever wanted terrifies me.” Penelope says softly.
“I wrote this.” She says, holding up parchment. A letter.
“It tells him everything. He’ll know it’s my writing from all our letters. I simply ask you to give it to him. I can’t bear to see his face when he reads it.” Penelope explains.
Eloise takes it.
“You can read it, if you wish.” Penelope says.
The silence is still uncomfortable. But less so than it has been.
There’s a question that’s been on Eloise’s mind since the beginning.
“Why?”
“Why did I put it in a letter? El-”
“No. Why did you start Lady Whistledown?” Eloise interrupts.
“I always wanted to be a writer. And like you said, insipid little wallflower.”
Eloise goes to interrupt, to apologise. But she continues on.
“I thought if I wrote of all the gossip, at least then me being pushed to the side so often would have a purpose. And I was writing. I didn’t expect it to do so well. It’s just gossip, well, it was. Words I’d hear others say, completely oblivious to the invisible Penelope Featherington.” Penelope explains.
“The first time I included anything of my own input, was about Daphne. I wanted her to have a true chance to shine. After all, she has been more a big sister to me than either of my own. Then it just got out of hand.”
“You mean you got jealous. That’s what it was, wasn’t it?” Eloise asks, still staring out at the grey clouds rolling in.
“Eloise, I never told you because Lady Whistledown is mine. I thought of telling you so many times. But I knew you’d want to be involved. And yes, a part of me was jealous. You did not care for the likes of courting and marriage and love, and it was all I desired, yet you could get all the attention without asking and I could beg and beg and get nothing. So many times I wished to swap place, only to be followed by deep guilt and shame for the very thought. No one wants to be the outcast.” Penelope explains.
Eloise can’t fault the statement. It is true, if she had found out that Penelope was Lady Whistledown earlier, she would have done everything to make it a team effort.
“I knew of Marina’s pregnancy from almost the very beginning.” Penelope continues on.
“I found true friendship with her. I helped her try and find a kind husband who wouldn’t have issue with her pregnancy. But she, and then my mother too, saw the opportunity that was Colin. I tried to stop them. Both of them. But she was determined to have him play father to her children, and he was positive he was in love with a woman who truly loved him back. I couldn’t let him have a relationship built on lies.” Penelope says.
“The irony of that is not lost on me.” She adds on before Eloise can make a smart comment.
“I was happy for you with Theo, but he was a risk to me. That is the truth. But I never planned to write about you. I thought of every which way to turn myself in. But it all seemed as if it was you orchestrating it. Your friend taking the hit for you. It would seem like a setup, and that’s if I could even get an audience with the Queen.” She explains.
Eloise believes her.
“And then, I planned to write it in Whistledown. Call the Queen wrong, name you. Say it’s laughable or something. But you were going to turn yourself in, which would mean I’d be the cause for her discovering your lie. Your family would still have been ruined. A small scandal you can come back from. The words of the Queen you cannot. I couldn’t let you ruin you and your family’s lives over my actions Eloise, I couldn’t.” Eloise can see Penelope look over at her out the corner of her eye, before turning back to the window.
“It doesn’t matter now anyways, Lady Whistledown is no more.”
“What? Why on earth not?” Eloise all but yells. She can only hope she is not to blame.
“I thought you’d be happy.” Penelope says.
“No Pen, I- What reason could you possibly have to stop writing?” Eloise asks.
“Cressida Cowper has falsified Lady Whistledown sheets revealing her to be Whistledown. It will be delivered tomorrow morn.” Penelope explains.
Eloise can’t believe Cressida would do such a thing. Well, she can, but what on ever for?
“I’ve thought of every which way I can work around it,” Penelope continues, “but every possible way would ruin her life. It would not be a small scandal. It’d destroy her family, they’d be shunned by the ton. Her father would lose business and they’d lose money, and she’d most likely never find a husband. Not a woman who lied about being Lady Whistledown to gain five thousand pound from the Queen.”
“The Queen could very well have her neck.” Penelope softly adds.
“I won’t do it, and so, I must write no more.”
They stand in silence, Eloise’s mind running on any possible solution. But she keeps coming up short.
“Anyways, that is beside the point. I do hope you know how sorry I am. I never intended for Lady Whistledown to get so out of hand. It would have been nice to be your sister, but I will not fool myself any longer. I know what Colin’s decision shall be once he has read that letter. Please, will you give it to him?” Penelope asks.
“I will.” Eloise says softly, staring down at the paper in her hand.
Silence feels the room once more, heavy with a sadness that Eloise can’t help but feel is her fault.
“Well I… I should make haste.” Penelope says. Eloise nodding in agreeance.
“No, you should not.”