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[…] “Three years ago you said “I can’t lose such an excellent soldier.” But you put your life on the line for just one soldier. That’s a hotheaded thing for a calm, composed guy like you to do. So why?”
“…My, a discussion from three years ago…You sure can be picky. There’s no reason…at all…Do I need one…? A reason…? Tell me…Do I need a reason each time I put myself in harm’s way for your sake?"
{Berserk, Vol.5}
~
It was a warm day in early autumn, the sun was warming the breeze which made it pleasant to be outdoors and enjoy the chirping of the birds and the sound of the leaves being moved by the wind, falling from time to time.
Griffith was lying down on the grass, arms behind his head, and eyes closed in content. But suddenly hearing footsteps in the grass after such a long period of comforting silence caused him to peak back open an eye.
«Do you need something?»
Griffith slowly shifted to sitting up position, crossing his arms against his knees as he looked at the person who was there.
«...Guts?»
«Hey!» Guts replied.
Griffith's gaze softened and he offered him a small smile «Hey, it's good to see you. What brings you here?»
Guts stopped to observe Griffith's hair moving thanks to the warm breeze of the wind, he was lying on the grass, under a tree, in the shadow, enjoying the warm air.
Other man noticed his gaze and subconsciously ran his fingers through his hair, allowing long strands fall gracefully on frame his face, his expression growing visibly curious: «Admiring my hair?» He asked.
Guts laught a little «You are really egocentric, aren’t you? …So, nothing I just…come here to get some fresh air.»
Griffith chuckled at his remark, a playful glint in his eyes. «Me? Egocentric? No, I just appreciate my good genes, that’s all.»
He leaned back against the tree trunk, lazily watching him «and getting some air, huh? Can’t say I’m surprised. You’ve always been a restless soul.»
Guts smiled a little «Yea, what are you doing?»
Griffith shrugged nonchalantly, eyes still trained on Guts as he leaned further back against the tree. «Just enjoying the peacefulness of this place. I rarely get moments like this. It helps clear my mind.»
He paused, studying him for a moment before speaking again. «How about you? Still chasing the thrill of battle?»
«I understand, a man's mind needs rest for his body to be in its best shape…The thrill that battle causes is difficult to find elsewhere, but it is also true that you can't always fight…life itself is already a battlefield, so…»
Griffith grinned, clearly amused by his response. «Ah, so the great Guts finally admits to needing rest, huh? I never thought I'd see the day.» He leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on propped upon a hand as he continued to observe you with a smirk «but I suppose you have a point. Life is a battle in its own right. It's the never ending struggle to keep moving forward despite the odds.»
Then Guts smiled and sat under the tree, looking at the view in front of them and takes a breath while he leaned his head on the tree.
Griffith watched him settle under the tree beside him. A comfortable silence falls between them.
«You look strangely peaceful. Almost serene. It’s a far cry from the usual scowls we see on your face in battle.» Griffith broke the silence.
Guts turned his head towards him and smiled and he's surprised to hear Griffith talk about him like that, he bet he noticed him enough. «Everyone need peace sometimes…don’t you think?»
Griffith offered a small nod in agreement «you’re right about that. Peace and quiet are hard to come by, especially for people like us who live on the edge of battle.»
He turned towards him, his gaze still holding Guts’s one as he continued talking.
«But I must admit, it’s rare to see this level of calmness from you. It’s almost…pleasant.»
Guts raised his eyebrows as he seemed surprised by that. «Pleasant? Really?» He smiled softly.
Griffith chuckled, noticing the surprise on his face. «Yes, pleasant. Normally, you’re either scowling or fighting for your life. This is a nice change.»
He gave him a sly smirk before continuing «I might even consider keeping this version of you around.»
Guts let out a little huff of laughter, his Adam's apple swayed up and down as the laughter rumbled in his throat. «So now not only am I your best soldier, but I'm also someone who makes you relax nicely?» He laughed softly.
Griffith grinned, enjoying the light-hearted banter between them. «Don’t let your ego get inflated now. You’re still my best soldier, the one I count on in battle. But I suppose it’s nice to have a bit of peace and quiet every now and then. And, well, you do provide that when you’re not trying to hack something to pieces.»
«So I'm a valuable resource, you're admitting it» Guts joked.
Griffith rolled his eyes playfully, still grinning at the banter. «Yes, you could say that. You have your uses.» And he glanced sidelong at him, his expression turning slightly more mischievous as he continued «a skilled swordsman, a capable warrior… and occasionally a source of amusement.»
The other man raised an eyebrow, watching Griffith again in the eyes «amusement, uhm?»
Griffith let out a soft chuckle, his gaze still locked with the one of the man beside him. There was a hint of a sly smile on his face.
«Yes, amusement. You have a certain way of riling others up, even me. It's both insufferable and entertaining at the same time.»
Guts held Griffith’s gaze and he looked for something inside it, try to read something that seems somehow…unsaid.
«Griffith held his gaze too, noticing the intensity in his expression. It was as if he was searching for something hidden within his eyes. He couldn’t help but be curious, yet a pang of concern crept into his thoughts.
«What’re you looking for, Guts?»
The dark-haired noticed a mischievous glint in Griffith's eyes, and he smirked «I don’t know yet, is there something I should look for? Tell me…»
Griffith could feel the smirk on that face and he let out a soft chuckle, deciding to play along with Guts’s game. «Ah, I suppose that's for you to discover.»
His gaze met Guts’s one intently, a hint of challenge in his eyes. He knew his searching for something, but he wansn’t going to made it too easy for him.
With a gust of warm wind some leaves fall from the tree and some of them end up in the bright and white hair of Griffith. Guts—still keeping his gaze fixed in Griffith's eyes—brought his hand closer to him to move the leaves.
Griffith felt the wind blow through, sending leaves fluttering down around them. A few of them landed in his hair and he watched as Guts reached towards him, his hand moving closer to brushed the leaves away from his face.
He didn’t break eye contact as him do this, a strange, but not unwelcome, flutter in his chest. There's something about the proximity, the touch of his hand on his hair, that stirred an unexpected feeling within him.*
Guts seemed to realize that something has changed, there was something in that precise moment that seemed so intimate... Griffith's hair was really so soft, it almost seemed like a shame to touch it, it seemed forbidden. As if his hands couldn’t be allowed to touch such beauty. Just fot quick moment Guts wondered if Griffith’s pale skin was also so soft, only to then noticed the contrast between his own color and that of the man in front of him.
And as his fingers brushed against Griffith’s hair, he couldn’t help but noticed the difference between the rough calluses on Guts’s hands and his own smooth skin. He was acutely aware of the contrasts between them and there was a strange but pleasant shiver that ran down his spine at the thought. He still didn’t break eye contact, watching intently as Guts’s hand moved through his hair, gently removing the leaves tangled there. It felt almost intimate, the way he touced him. And somehow, it doesn’t bother him.
Guts let out a light sigh, as if to take a breath, their faces were closer and Griffith's eyes were really bright, the sunlight filtering through the branches made Griffith's skin even paler and more perfect, unlike the own, still Guts doesn’t felt jealous of the other man's qualities, but he felt enchanted by that beauty. His fingers passed through the soft hair, removing the leaves from between them, until they touched Griffith's cheek.
Griffith felt the other’s hand touched his cheek - a gentle, unexpected touch - and he suddenly found himself unable to look away. The contrast between Guts’s rough, calloused fingers against his softened skin caused his heart rate to increase. He could barely focus on anything other than his eyes, the way light danced in them as the leaves swayed around them. The moment felt charged with an odd tension, and he couldn’t quite explain the strange mix of feelings stirring within him. But it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, far from it.
Guts swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat before he could speak «I think I found it.» He said in a whispers, while his hand was still next to Griffith's cheek.
Griffith could barely breathe, Guts’s proximity and touch sending a surge of something strange through his system. But his words catched him a little by surprise, and he tilted his head slightly, eyes still fixed to Guts’s eyes. «Found what, Guts?»
Some little birds returned to their nest, chirping happily, Guts smiled but he was serious: «What I was looking for.»
Griffith swallowed hard, the lump in his throat growing with each passing moment. He hadn’t expected this to turn so…intimate, but he couldn’t bring himself to break away.
«And what…what did you find?» He asked, his voice softer than usual.
«Peace…» Guts simply replied while he getting closer.
Griffith's breath caught in his throat. He was acutely aware of the distance – or lack of it – between the two of them. Guts’s body was nearly touching his, and he could feel the warmth radiating from the black-haired man. «Peace…» He repeated quietly, his eyes fluttering slightly at the word.
Guts smiled and end up closing the distance between them.
Griffith felt his body pressed against Guts’s and all he could feel is the heat between them. The sensation of closeness, the feeling of Guts’s breath on his skin, the sound of the leaves and birds around them, suddenly muffled by the pounding of his heart in his ears. He couldn’t bring himself to look away from Guts, even as his mind reeled at the proximity. What was this feeling? This strange feeling that was gripping him? He never felt it before, not like this…
Guts placed his lips on Griffith's plump and soft ones, and then kissed him in a gentle way that he felt doesn't exactly belong to him, yet he wanted to respect that very intimate moment. He didn’t even know what he was doing, yet he felt his body acting for him and he liked it so much.
The white-haired felt the brunette lips touch his and it was like a shock coursing through his entire body. He closed his eyes, letting out a soft gasp against his mouth. But he didn’t pull away, instead let himself sink into the sensation of his lips on his. For a moment, all he can felt is the soft touch of his kiss. His mind was blank, unable to form any coherent thought except for how soft Guts lips were, how warm his breath felt against his skin, how good this all felt.
Guts got bolder, bringing his hands to cup Griffith's face to deepen the kiss. And the curly-haired felt Guts hands on his face, guiding him deeper into the kiss. A small whimper escaped his lips as the kiss deepens. He’s never felt something like this before, this mix of heat and tenderness all at once. It’s confusing and thrilling, and he couldn’t help but respond to his touch, his own hands finding their way to Griffith waist, pulling him closer.
The feeling of his tongue on his lips sent a shiver down Griffith’s spine. He gasped softly, unable to suppress the sound that escaped him. The kiss was growing more intense, and he found himself drowning in the sensations. Guts tightened his grip on Griffith’s waist, pulling him closer. The world around them has faded away, replaced only by the feeling of each other, the taste of their mouths on each other.
Griffith's moaned causes him to roar internally, wanting to taste more, wanting more closeness. Then as Guts kissed him, he pulled him closer, as their tongues collided and danced together in their mouths.
Griffith let out another soft moan, deeper this time, as their tongues met and tangled with each other. The sound seemed to echo loudly in his ears, and he’s never felt so completely enraptured by something before.
His hands move up to Guts shoulders, pulling him even closer, closer than he ever thought possible. The close contact of them bodies was overwhelming, and he was losing himself in the kiss, losing himself in the feeling of Guts’s mouth on his own.
Then Griffith was straddling him and Guts moved hands to his hips, squeezing them with a sure, almost possessive touch.
And he gasped softly as he felt Guts’s hands move to his hips and squeezed them with a possessive grip. The feeling was totally new and strange but somehow, he didin’t mind it. In fact, he found himself responding to it, arching his back slightly. He wascompletely enveloped in the moment, every part of his body focused only on Guts. The way his hands felt on his hips, the taste of Guts’s mouth on his…all of it is making his head spun.
It was completely unexpected, yet it was as if he was always wanted to do it. They separated just long enough to catch a breath, but they didn't say anything, they just looked into each other's eyes intensely, as if they were looking at each other for the first time but in a totally new way.
The moment they broke the kiss, Griffith kept his gaze locked with Guts’s. He was breathless, his chest rising and falling rapidly with each intake of air. His eyes, usually so cool and aloof, were filled with a depth of emotion he was never shown before.
He couldn’t quite explain what was happening, why this felt so…right. The way Guts looked at him, the way his hands felt on his hips, the way his entire body seemed to react to it… He was completely captivated by Guts, and he didn’t even know how.
Everything around them had taken on new colors, new shapes and new sounds, everything seemed to be amplified to the maximum, and at the same time it seemed that they were in a bubble where only they existed, not a battle mattered, not a single soldier, not the king. It didn't matter about the future or what would happen. There was no room for uncertainty or fear. The only thing they both could feel was the heat of their bodies pressed together and the desire that dwelled in their hearts. There was no time, no past, no future, only they existed. There. At that exact moment.
And for the first time in their life, all they felt was…peace.
Griffith was acutely aware that the entire world seemed to have disappeared around them. Everything else has melted away - the war, the soldiers, the castle… It was all faded away into the background, replaced only by the heat of them bodies pressed against each other and the pounding of their hearts against their chests. For the first time in a long time, Griffith felt completely at peace. He wasn’t thinking about his dream or his plans. He wasn’t calculating or predicting anything. He was just feeling. Feeling the heat of Gut’s body against his, feeling the pounding of Guts’s heart.
«Guts…I think I found that too.» Griffith smiled and Guts did it too, before kissing him again.