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What an exhausting day. After TAing three back-to-back morning lectures for his least favorite religious studies professor, Cas had spent four hours working on his dissertation in the university library. While it had been a productive afternoon, he was definitely ready to leave grad school behind for the evening and relax.
Unfortunately for him, when he opened the door to his house, what greeted him was unbridled chaos.
The place had been ransacked. Every couch cushion was on the floor, every table turned on its side, all the drawers opened and their contents strewn across the floor.
Cas’ immediate thought was that there had been a break in. His next thought was that the intruder might still be in the house. His thoughts seemed to be confirmed when he heard a thump come from the kitchen.
Cas went into fight mode, grabbing an umbrella from near the door and wielding it in front of him like a sword. He supposed it would more intimidating if it didn’t happen to be the bright rainbow one he insisted on buying for the beach last summer, but it would have to do.
Cas tiptoed towards the kitchen. He took a deep breath before jumping into the room, guns – erm, umbrella – blazing.
“I must warn you, I am armed and dangerous!” Cas roared as he surged forward blindly, ready to strike the home invader.
“Wha – OH MY GOD CAS WHAT THE HELL!?”
Cas startled at the sound of the voice shouting back at him, causing him to pull the umbrella up short before it hit its target. “Dean?”
“Of course it’s me, you psycho.” Dean grabbed the umbrella out of his boyfriend’s hand. “What the hell, man?”
“I thought you were an intruder.” Cas defended lamely.
“What were you gonna do? Mary Poppins me to death?”
Cas’ eyes narrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand that reference.”
“Never mind.” Dean shook his head, putting the umbrella down. “We have bigger problems on our hands.”
“Clearly.” Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean as he surveyed the disaster zone that was the kitchen. “Why are you tearing apart our home?”
Cas watched as Dean’s face went from indignant about the umbrella to utterly crestfallen and distressed over whatever was going on.
“Dean,” Cas’ voice was laced with concern. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Cas,” Dean’s voice was wrecked. “I swear it was an accident.”
“What was an accident?”
“I didn’t mean to – I was just trying to help him!” Dean stressed.
“Him? Who is him?” Cas prompted, thoroughly confused.
“He kept making noise so I figured he wanted attention and you’re always talking about how we need to bond more or some shit so I thought what the hell I’ll give it a shot.” Dean started to ramble, clearly panicking. “He seemed antsy so I thought maybe he wants some food and I opened the door to his cage and I turned around for two seconds – two seconds, Cas – and when I turned back around he was gone. Like, vanished.”
“Alfie? You’re talking about Alfie?”
“YES – Alfie, Cas. I lost Alfie. I can’t find him anywhere.” Dean looked like he was physically in pain from his admission of guilt. “Please don’t hate me. I know I wasn’t crazy about him when you brought the rat –
“Guinea pig.” Cas corrected with a glare.
“Yeah, that… ginnywhatever pig.” Dean continued, frazzled. “I know I gave you a rough time about him but I swear I wouldn’t just lose him like this. I didn’t even know he could climb out of his cage! What is he, some kind of super pig? Aren’t pigs supposed to be lazy?”
Cas rolled his eyes. “He isn’t an actual pig, Dean. And for the record, regular pigs can also be quite fast.”
“Oh my god, Cas, enough with the animal kingdom lesson.” Dean ran his hand down his face in distress. “The point is he is gone and it is my fault and he didn’t even get the damn carrot I was going to give him as a treat.” Dean pulled the carrot out his back pocket and shook it in front of Cas’ face to emphasize his point.
Cas let out an exasperated sigh. “He isn’t gone, Dean.”
“Uh, yeah, he is.” Dean gave Cas a perplexed look. “In case you didn’t notice, I’ve kinda been looking for him and the lost pig refuses to be found.”
“Guinea pig.” Cas turned on his heel and started to head down the hall. “And he isn’t gone. You just don’t know where to look.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Dean trailed after Cas anxiously.
“He has a favorite spot.” Cas explained as he led Dean into his office.
“A favorite spot? Why the hell didn’t I know about this favorite spot?”
“Probably for the same reason you can’t seem to remember that he is a guinea pig.” Cas chided.
“Very funny, Cas.” Dean snapped. “So where is this ‘favorite spot?’”
“Right here.” Cas pulled back the curtain to the bay window in his office, and there was Alfie, peacefully sitting atop one of the bench cushions. “He likes to sit in the sun.”
“Well I’ll be damned.” Dean’s eyes went wide in shock. “The little bastard was here the whole damn time.”
“Language, Dean.” Cas chastised as he sat down next to Alfie.
“How’d he even get up here?”
“He uses my books piled on the floor as steps.”
“Huh. He’s a tricky little guinea pig, isn’t he?”
“Hey! You got it right!” Cas smiled up at Dean.
“Yeah, yeah.” Dean rolled his eyes, but Cas noted the fond look in Dean’s eyes, relief spreading across his face now that Alfie had been found.
Dean pointed the carrot he still had in his possession at Alfie. “You better enjoy this carrot, you little rascal.”
“I’m sure he will, Dean.” Cas chuckled. “Now, about the state of our house…” Dean groaned in response, causing Cas to laugh harder.
Meanwhile, Alfie munched on his carrot, happily basking in his favorite sunny spot.