Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Years after the war, Draco Malfoy found himself living alone in a small, crowded house. Not small as in "only two other rooms alongside a small hallway" small, more like an "every fucking wall has countless cupboards filled with books and potions" small.

The house itself was quite large, with two floors and a generously big living room. Draco liked his cramped little home. It's organized and far away, so he wouldn't have to deal with people who were still angry at him. There were so many people who harassed him on a daily basis.

Draco is quite fond of potions. If visitors never knew before walking into the house, then they surely knew now. Like previously mentioned, EVERY wall was covered in cupboards- or rather bookshelves. Each one filled with either potions or books.

One of his friends actively requests potions from him. Like a small business.. but less legal and more of a people pleaser thing. They even asked him to make a love potion. He even made an antidote in case someone needed to reverse it. Draco was always thinking ahead. He always had this smug smile on his face, since that antidote takes weeks to actually prepare. But clearly, he didn't think ahead enough.

Because when he tested if it worked, fell in love with the one and only Harry Potter, via newspaper if I may add, shattered the antidote all over his floor, and realized he ran out of the right materials...

he indeed was fucked.

“You did what?”
Draco sighed. Pansy looked at him in shock.
“You fell in love with Harry Potter?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“It’s a funny story, actually.”
Pansy looked over her shoulder. Draco felt the strange urge to follow her glaze. So he did. And there he was, Harry Potter. Leaning against the doorframe of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezies. His stomach twisted, and his face felt hot.
Yes. Definitely in love.
“Come on, Pans. Don't stare at him like that.”
“What? You're jealous?”
She turned back to him.
Draco suddenly felt sick.
“Oh my god, you are jealous!”
“Please, this is embarrassing enough.”
“You actually are in love with him?”
“Well- yes.”
Her eyes went soft. Pansy always had excellent people skills. She knew exactly when she said enough. If she stopped talking though, depended on how much she liked the person in front of her.
In his case, he could call himself lucky to be her best friend.
“How did it happen?”
Okay, here it came.
“I have been making a little money in the last few months by brewing potions for a friend. Well, ‘friend’ is a strong word. They owled me one day regarding an ad I placed in the newspaper. I only wanted to sell my cauldron, because I didn't see any sense in brewing anymore. But then, they send me a letter, saying they don't necessarily need the cauldron but someone with brewing skills to help them out. I sent them the first potion three months ago, it was a sleeping potion, easy to make and they asked if I could make another one, something against pain in the lower back region this time. At first, I didn't want to. I mean, I don't even know that person, but they kept insisting, telling me how their back hurt every time they bent and it was really nice, actually, to have someone telling you something so casual and dumb in a nice tone. It was like… having a new friend - not a best friend obviously -” he smiled at Pansy.
“But someone to get to know better over time. It was kind of exciting. That they hid their identity until now, only makes it easier to interpret something into it.
But then they requested a love potion. I asked a few questions, why and for whom, but no answer to that. Only to make it as good as I could. I never made such a complicated love potion before. It's not really your first priority if your home is infiltrated by death eaters. But I did it and I did it pretty well. Maybe too well, I tried if it worked and… here we are.”
Pansy looked at him with an unreadable expression. “And you didn’t make an antidote?”
“That story is even funnier.”
“Oh no.”
“I spilled it. Onto the newspaper, where our golden boy glanced at me.”
To his surprise Pansy chuckled.
“You’re right, that is funny.”
“Pans!”
“Sorry, sorry. So what do we know about the potion?”
“Well, the first person you see after taking it will be your hardest crush of all time. The antidote takes up to two weeks to finish, but the ingredients are really hard to get. Probably waisted a few hundred galleons on that.”
And he wouldn’t get the money from his anonymous customers.
Pansy shrugged. “Can’t be that hard to brew the antidote. Have you had a look inside that potion supply shop?”
She nodded at the shop across the street.
“No. For several reasons. One, no one likes me. I can’t hardly eat my ice cream here without anyone harassing me. Two, they don’t necessarily sell the ingredients, they’re focusing mostly on the finished potions. And three, I saw that in the newspaper, Harry Potter works there.”

It sounded like a bad joke. “Harry Potter works as a Potions manufacturer”
The punchline consisted of the words “Harry Potter” and “Potions manufacturer”. It was too unreal to be a good joke, too hilarious to be a terrible one. Just a bad joke…
sadly, it was indeed very real.
He sighed as he restocked the last ingredients onto the shelf, he hated it here. Hated the smell, the clean and super hygienic shelfs.
This wasn't for him, he liked his work environment messy and a bit dusty. It added a nice touch, but sure, a place where medicine was being made needed to be tidy and clean.
Still, why would the head Aurors send him here? Yes, he was impulsive and lacked of discipline, but he was excellent in the field! He did a good job! And yet, here he was. Cleaning shelves for the third time today, because he needed something to do which wasn’t brewing a potion.
Mr Calfield was a nice man, but he insisted that Harry had to brew plenty of different potions, before he got to get back to his Auror work again.
Starting with a sleeping potion, he worked his way up. Well, “worked” was a bit too much to say, he cheated his way up, me or less. But seriously, who could ever brew such difficult potions? It was impossible to even listen to the advices Mr Calfield gave him, not to mention to actually be patient enough to brew such dumb potions.
He hated this.
The doorbell rang and a woman stepped in. She was dressed elegant, and entirely in black. Her face made an interesting thing as she spotted him behind the shelves he dusted. She looked … disgusted?
Then, it hit him. This was Pansy Parkinson. He hasn’t seen her in years, and without the Slytherin robes, he didn’t recognize her at first.
But that expression on her face gave her away. That disgusted face, it hadn’t changed a bit.
“What do you want, Parkinson?”
She shot him a sharp look.
“I am in need of golden light, exactly three weeks old mist and a shark tooth.” She squinted her eyes at the notebook in her hands. “God, I don’t recall his handwriting to be that messy.”
Harry raised his eyebrows.
She sighed. “Ugh, what is this customer service? I know I’m extraordinarily pretty, please continue.”
He must have looked confused, because she raised her chin and waved at the shelves.
“Go on then, I can repeat the ingredients, if it’ll help you to be faster.”
Harry rolled his eyes and did the only thing possible. He called for help.
“Mr Calfield? There’s a lady in need of ingredients I can’t find!”
Pansy groaned. “That’s because you didn’t even look for them, you moron!”
Harry grinned. “Sorry”
He wasn’t sorry. Pansy Parkinson was a little bitch, and he hated her. She should have thought it through, before she ratted him out to Voldemort. Now, look where it got her.
Also, he really didn’t know where to find ‘golden light’.

Mr Calfield was an old man, with white hair and a neatly trimmed white beard. He was also the nicest old person Harry had ever met. And unlike his old headmaster, he never lied to Harry.
“What a nice day for you to visit, Pansy dear. It’s been so long that we’ve seen each other.”
Never mind. He was a traitor.
Pansy smiled pleasantly, something Harry didn’t know she could do.
“Mr Calfield! I am so sorry, I had some family emergencies, Lucy’s mother is sick and then my best friend, you surely remember him, Draco, had an accident involving a potion for which we need to brew the antidote.”
Harry’s head shot up at the mention of Malfoy. He hadn’t seen the prick since the trial. He disappeared from the news soon after and Harry always had wondered what he was doing these days.
“I am so sorry to hear that. Tough days for you, you poor girl.” Mr Calfield gestured at the notebook, Pansy held. “Are those the ingredients? Let me have a look.”
Pansy gave him the notebook, while she chatted about this girl, Lucy, and how much she liked her new job. Mr Calfield smiled, nodding along. Eventually he said: “that’s very nice, dear. You should bring her over some time. Now, I’m very sorry, but we don’t have the ingredients you need. We could purchase them, however. Harry even could brew the antidote to the potion, his next training session would be about that, actually. What a coincidence!” He chuckled lightly.
“Oh. No, he really doesn’t need to.”
With that, Harry agreed.
Mr Calfield shrugged. “Well, Harry, it seems you have a new task! Find the ingredients for the antidote!“
Harry turned around.
“I thought we could purchase them from our supplier?”
Mr Calfield smiled. “Where would be the fun in that? Now, off you go. And be sure to get back to Ms Parkinson with updates.”
He disappeared into the back room. Harry carefully looked at Pansy.
“I’m not doing that.”, he said.
“Tell that to Mr Calfield.”, she replied, handing him a list. It was the page of the notebook, ripped out. There were ingredients scribbled on it and it were not only the three she mentioned earlier.
“That’s a full blown list!”
“Yes, and we need everything on it.”
“How am I supposed to get…” he squinted his eyes. Malfoy’s handwriting was shit.
“… unicorn hooves?”
“Oh, that’s not a problem. Wait until you try to get the Californian Tee Leaves!”
“Why aren’t you doing this? You seem to know more about these ingredients than I do.”
“Well, it’s your job, isn’t it?” She smiled. “Also, I’m very busy with work and my girlfriend’s sick mother. And Draco is not going out very much these days, too much hate as you might know.” She grinned. “Byeee” and off she went.
Harry groaned.
Well, this was an even sadder joke.

Chapter Text

“Dear customer,
I am devastated to tell you that I can’t provide you with the love potion, as I made a horrible mistake involving breaking the vial.”
Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but he couldn’t just tell his anonymous customer the whole story. Even if it was a funny one.
“I will continue working for you, if you’re interested in another potion. I am willing to offer brewing the next potion for free.
Sincerely, your potion supplier”

“Dear potion supplier,
That’s okay. I don’t need it anymore, my friend got it from a store in their neighborhood. I’d be happy to receive another potion from you someday, but for now, I’m looking for a few ingredients. I actually wanted to try and make a potion myself some time! That’s crazy of me, I know, but your potions are always so good and I’m really impressed by your skills! Thank you for the suggestion tho, I’ll write you if I need anything.
Regards, your customer

P.S.: this is such a dumb question to ask, but is your handwriting always this neat? It just looks so good!!”

——

“Dear customer,
I believe if we’re still writing each other, you should get to call me by a name. It’s not my actual name, just something I made up, but I get the impression that it’s weird for you to call me “potion supplier”. Also, my friend brought up that it reminds her of a drug supplier and now I can’t get that out of my head. I never tried drugs and I don’t think I will, not in a very long time. I don’t want to be associated with drugs, although if you are someone who does drugs it’s totally fine by me. It’s just not something for me.
Well, I got a bit too much into drugs there, haven’t I?
I choose the name “Edwin”.
I hope you keep writing, even after my drug speech.
Kind regards, Edwin.

P.S.: I honestly don’t know. I always were a bit of a perfectionist. And I like aesthetically pleasing things. Although my handwriting worse with every bit of stress these days…”

——

“Hi Edwin!!
That’s a cool name you got there. Why did you choose it? If we’re doing this, you may call me ‘Pete’. :)
Also, I’m not doing drugs. I tried weed once and it was weird. But I drink a beer or two sometimes, when I’m with friends.
Okay, most of the time I get beyond drunk when I had more than two beers, I don’t know why. It’s just a me thing. So, I usually keep my hands off it.
I’m sorry, that’s not important. Tell me more about you! How did you get into potions?
Waiting for your next letter in anticipation, Pete”

——

“You know I can’t just go in there!”
“Well, you have to. I need to get going. Now. Lucy’s mom is not getting better and I need to be there for my girlfriend.”
Draco sighed. “Yes, I know.”
“Good.” She brushed his shoulder with hers, a brief but comforting expression.
“Draco, you can call me via floopowder. I’m not out of your life.”
“I know.”
She grinned. “Well then, I see you soon! Be sure to update me with the drama!”
And she disapperated with a plop.

“Malfoy?”
Draco’s whole body went tense. His heart beat was becoming louder and increasingly faster.
He held his head down, not wanting to look at Potter, not wanting to let the intense green eyes see right into his heart. But alone hearing Potter’s raspy voice made him feel things. His stomach twisted and his mouth went dry. He felt the longing to touch Potter. To cross the room and just-
“Malfoy?”
His head shot up. Looking at the golden boy was even harder than he had expected.
“Malfoy, are you okay?”
And he genuinely sounded like he cared. Oh god, a nice Potter was even hotter than a mad one.
What was he thinking?
Focus, Draco. Eyes on the prize.
Only that his eyes were on Harry Potter and his lips. And those lips seemed like a really nice price. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Malfoy, this is really uncalled for. I have work to do.”
“As if you’re enjoying working here.”
Draco rolled his eyes.
“I’m sorry?”
Potter looked at him with hatred in his eyes.
And suddenly, Draco was back in school, with Potter being so proud and confident and Draco hated him. Hated the way everything worked out for Potter, the fact that everyone liked him, loved him even.
New confidence filled him.
Hate beats love, he knew that. Hate can erase everything.
Maybe he had found his own antidote.
Hopefully he didn’t need to put up with this for long, but for the time being all he needed to do was hating on Potter until he had the potion.
“Potter, I was informed that you’re handling my case. And as I can see, you’re doing a really bad job. So I came to give you a slap on the wrist and tell you to start working on getting my ingredients.”
“I have other customers, Malfoy. You’re not priority number one.”
“I understand you work for Mr Calfield?”
Potter nodded.
“Why, thank you. You finally provided me with information. Is this the back room?”
Of course it was the back room. Draco knew this store. He had bought his very first cauldron here. His father had scolded him so many times in the front room, until Mr Calfield had asked Lucius to have a drink with him, and left Draco play and experiment alone in the back room.
“I don’t think you’re allowed in there.”
“I believe I am.” He made his way over to the door.
“Malfoy! What are you doing?”
“I’m going to talk to Mr Calfield.”
“You can’t just-“
“Oh, but I can.”
And reached out to the door.

Harry didn’t believe it! No one was allowed in the back room when the door was closed.
But Malfoy, being the very strange Malfoy he was today, knocked politely.
The door opened and Mr Calfield stood in the doorway.
“Draco, my boy! I can’t believe you visit me again! If I’d known, I would have prepared tee!”
“Not to worry, Mr Calfield. I don’t have much time anyway.”
“Well, that’s too sad. Why are you here then?”
“Well, Mr Potter informed me that my case currently isn’t a priority for him. But looking at the potion influence I’m under, I need to brew the antidote as soon as possible.”
Mr Calfield nodded slowly. “Love potions are nasty, huh?”
Love potion?
Malfoy was on a love potion?
Why?
How?
With whom?
Okay, wow.
Mr Calfield waved Harry over.
“Harry, would you be so kind and make Draco’s case your first priority? If you do so and finish the job in, say five weeks, I’m making sure that your supervisors will hear about that and will take you back in.”
“Oh.” Working as an Auror again? Hell yea!
“Yes, sir. I will get to work right away.”
The joke got a bit better.

——

“Dear Pete,
well, I can’t relate to your alcohol related problem, but I’ll remember it, in case I ever get to buy you a drink, it will be apple juice.
I chose that name because I always wanted to be called by it as a boy. My inner child is very happy right now.
How I got into potions, you ask? Well, it was always my favorite subject at school. Also, I was the best student of that class and that made me feel good and kind of superior.
But the real reason actually is that it makes so much sense. Brewing potions is knowing every rule and sticking to it. Yes, I myself invented new potion recipes but even for them I needed to know the ground rules. Potions is a whole universe, so to speak. You can only fully grasp it if you know everything about it. And there’s still so much to learn!
I’m very happy for you that you try to make potions yourself.
Now, tell me about you. Let’s start easy… how was your day?
Sincerely, Edwin”

——

“A love potion?” Hermione looked at Harry with surprise. “Draco Malfoy is under a love potion?”
“Seems so.”
“How did that happen? He knows how potions work, how did he get under the influence of a love potion, of all things?”
“I think the real question is: who is he in love with?”, said Ron.
They were at Hermione’s and Ron’s house, a cottage somewhere between London and Oxford.
“I don’t know and I don’t know, but I really want to know.”, Harry answered grinning.
Ron shook his head, amused. “You need to find out, mate!”
Harry laughed, but Hermione waged in.
“How is Harry supposed to find that out? He has a job to do, there’s no time to spy on Malfoy.”
“True. Also, Harry knows not much about being in love.”
“Ron!”
Ron only laughed.
“Harry, let me see the ingredients again.”
Harry gave her the list.
“Mhm, looks like you have a lot to do. But I can look some ingredients up, if you need me too. Most of them on here are extremely rare and hard to get, and for some even I don’t know what they’re supposed to be. Best is, you start with the grasshopper legs, the in moonlight picked Tulips and the autumn leaves.”
Ron laughed. “Oh you’re fucked, mate.”
Harry could only agree. He indeed was fucked.

Chapter Text

“Hi Edwin!
I’m so sorry I couldn’t answer earlier! I received your letter a week ago and I loved reading it, but then I had to do so much work, it was awful!! Anyway, I’m really sorry.
I think I get a glimpse of understanding why you love potions so much! It was so nice hearing you talking about it! Well, I didn’t hear you, but I imagined it. Is your voice calm and melodic when you explain those things? I imagine it to be, but if not, you’re still cool haha.
Oof, this got weird real fast.
I would love to tell you that I started brewing the potion by myself now, but work got the upper hand and I need to find grasshoppers from which I can take the legs. That’s so barbaric, don’t you think?
It’s for a potion, so maybe you have some advice?
My day has been pretty busy, due to work, but I had ice cream today and it was really good, I love (!!) chocolate flavored ice cream!
How was your day?
Byee!!
Pete“

“Dear Pete,
oh, the grasshopper legs. Yes, I have some advice for you on that. Grasshopper legs are a common ingredient in antidotes. They add a certain accuracy to the potion, so it only is effective in a certain body part. Imagine taking a substance which affects your whole body, and it’s poisonous for every single limb, but can cure your heart disease. Normally, you take right after that an antidote with grasshopper legs. They help the antidote to clear the body of the poison, but leave it in the heart. Of course, the grasshopper legs need to be removed right and there’s a certain spell for different types of potions they are used in. A love potion for example that should be cured with an antidote needs the grasshopper legs, so that antidote only is affecting the head and the heart, and not the whole body. It’s working much faster that way. Grasshopper legs should never be used in normal potions though! That only causes headaches.
Well, sorry about that. I get caught up when I talk about potion theory.
For removing the legs from the body:
Use small tweezers and immediately after that, you can use the spell “crescerendo” to grow the grasshopper new legs. It’s used with a switch and flick movement, like the wingardium leviosa spell.
I hope I could help and wish you best of luck!
Edwin

P.S.: I really like mint ice cream, please don’t hate me. I’m also a liquorice person, I think that tells you a lot about me.”

——

The next time, Harry saw Malfoy was at Fortescue’s. Malfoy was eating his green ice cream, looking around him and seeming overall pretty sketchy.
“Got a problem there Malfoy?”
Malfoy winced. “Potter.” He mumbled. “Of course.”
“Why are you acting so weird?”
“Please. You’re the one disturbing my lunch break.”
Harry scoffed. “This is wrong on many levels!”
“Come again?”
“You are looking around like you’ve just murdered someone and I’m the problem? Also, what kind of lunch is ice cream?”
Malfoy still didn’t look at him. His cheek was pale, almost translucent.
“I’m just worried that people will curse me, that’s all.”
His voice was getting an octave higher.
“And I’m perfectly capable of choosing my own lunch, thank you very much.” He stood up. “I need to go.”
He disappeared behind the next corner and Harry would’ve followed him, but there still was ice cream on the table and Harry was hungry.

“Dear Edwin,
it worked!! Thank you so much for helping me out! I now have successfully eight of thirty-two ingredients! I’m getting somewhere :))
Also, you didn’t answer my voice-question? You don’t have to, I was just wondering…
Oh, and I’ve tried mint flavored ice cream yesterday and it was gross! I ate it all, because I was hungry and I have this thing, where I can’t just leave food on the plate, but I would never eat that again!!
I have to get back to work now, but the next letter will be longer!
Bye!
Pete”

——

Draco hated this. Now, that the love potion had time to sink in, he didn’t need Potter to be around to feel miserable. He missed him. Draco Malfoy missed Harry Potter. Romantically.
Wow. This was awful.
The worst thing was, he sometimes didn’t even realize that it was the love potion speaking.
He genuinely believed he loved Harry Potter. Which was absurd.
He groaned. Working as an accountant for the ministry was boring as hell.
He didn’t choose this job, he had to do it, due to the bad choices he made during the war. It wasn’t a punishment per se, but dying of boredom was actually a thing here. Only the weeks from now, Danny passed away. Not that Draco knew him very well, but the good man had shared a lunch or two with him. In silence, of course. The accountants didn’t speak, they didn’t even whisper. It was an unwritten rule, and Draco appreciated it. Danny had worked since 1990 here, fourteen years of boredom. Now that he had died, rumors started spreading. Little notes were passed with the news: “have you heard of Danny? Eliza told me he got so bored, his heart stopped.” “I thought he got into a fight with his wife because he didn’t talk with her anymore at dinner?” “Oh, I don’t know… but the same thing happened to me yesterday. Hope she won’t kill me hahaha”
Draco had not gotten a note. But he did pick them out of the trash. Danny had been a nice guy, teaching Draco a lot of different things. Thanks to Danny, Draco had gotten more independent, choosing what he wanted for dinner, for example, not what his parents would find acceptable.
They controlled every aspect of his life, but Danny helped him to break free from that. Well, that sounded way too dramatic. But it was true.
Draco smiled and performed a sealing spell on his paperwork. It was time to call it a night and finally go home. Maybe he could write a letter to Pete. It was getting more and more exiting to wait for his owl, and this morning, he finally received Pete’s latest letter.
Yes, that sounded like a good evening

Chapter Text

“Dear Pete,
I am very glad I could help.
My voice is melodic, that’s actually something I’m proud of, although it gets a bit high when I’m stressed. I hope that answers your question.
I have a weird feeling that the thing where you can’t leave food on your plate isn’t coming out of nowhere. I’m no therapist, but I am a good listener (or reader) and am here for you, if you want to talk about it.
As for now, I don’t have much to say, so I’ll just tell you something about me, I guess.
I recon you went to hogwarts? If yes, you may know the moaning Myrtle. Funny story: she was a friend of mine since fourth year! She also was the bitchiest girl I ever met and I am a Slytherin… once, she told me I have a baby’s face and then she patted my cheek and sang a lullaby. It was the weirdest comforting moment ever. Well, I guess all of my friends are weird in some way. My best friend always makes fun of me but is the most insecure person herself. Oh, nobody knows that but me, so psssst.
Oh god, I think I had one fire whisky too much.
Can I tell you a secret? I have this crush on someone with reeeaaally messy hair and I just want to know if it’s as soft as it looks- god, I think I AM drunk.
I will just send this letter, otherwise I would burn it tomorrow. To being impulsive for once!

Wait… you can’t see me raising my glass. Well, I am.
Good night
Edwin

P.S.: I hate being in love”

—

Edwin was in love? Harry had the strange urge to gag. Which was totally not important. He looked at the list of ingredients. „Okay.“, he thought to himself, „Okay. In the moonlight picked tuli- Edwin is in LOVE? Why didn’t he tell me? Okay, I mean, he DID tell me. But- it just doesn’t feel right. Edwin is this kind of person, who thinks about they’re going to say three times at least. Why did he just drop this on me? Well, he was drunk, but still- Tulips! Just- where do tulips grow?“

„Harry.“ Hermione looked at him concerned. „What is going on with you?“
„Nothing. I’m fine.“
„you don’t look fine.“
„I’m fine, Hermione!“, he blurted out. And then, when Hermione shot him this sad look: „Sorry. It’s just all very confusing.“
Ron came into the room. „Harry! Did you figure it out? Who Malfoy is in love with?“
Harry grinned, pleased by the distraction. „Nah, but he’s acting so strange around me!“
„Strange how?“
„He’s like- like a cat, you know?“ Ron nodded, grinning, but Hermione looked rather confused.
„Explain.“
„Well, he’s so unpredictable, like he would scratch me at any time, or flee, or just ignore me!“
„Like Crookshanks.“, Ron added, not so helpfully.
„Ron- never mind. Harry, I guess he’s just nervous around you. You know about his secret, after all. He must be embarrassed!“
„Alright, but the old Malfoy would’ve just insult me.“
„He would’ve never gotten embarrassed to begin with.“, said Ron. „He had his head so high up in the clouds.“
Hermione sighed. „Yes. But that was before the war. I don’t think he hates you anymore, Harry. He has changed, I’m sure.“
Harry thought about it. It made sense. Still… „It would be just so much easier, if he just hated me. I miss that, he was so simple back then.“
Ron laughed. „Harry! You’re obsessing again!“
„I’m not!“
Now, Hermione giggled too. „Merlin, you are“

—

“Dear Edwin,
it’s kinda cute when you get tipsy… I would love to know when you went to hogwarts, but at the same time I like this state of anonymity were in. I’ve done a few things some people know me for and I honestly don’t like that. I hate the publicity. It’s awful.
I’d rate be just Pete… chuckling about a drunk Edwin.
I went to a candy store yesterday and they had licorice. I never tried it before and I don’t know why!! Mint flavored ice cream sucks, honestly. But licorice is literally the best candy I’ve ever had! My cousin liked it as well, I recall, he always only ate the sweet stuff from his candy mix, never the weird things (like mint bonbons) (I sneaked them into my room and ate them) (they tasted awful but I was STARVING) (maybe that’s why I don’t like mint flavored stuff. Reminds me too much of my childhood).
Anyways, you said I could always talk to you? I might do that sometime, not today tho. I still need tulips. Do you know where they grow? My friend says the Netherlands (and she’s the smart one), but I’d still love to hear your opinion. I have to pick them during the night, when the moon shines.
Sounds kind of romantic, don’t you think? I wish I had someone to do it with me…
Ugh! Sorry! Didn’t mean to whine about my loneliness haha
Bye, Pete”

—

Draco looked at Pete’s letter, confused. Not about the letter. It was lovely as always, and chaotic and fun to read. No, Draco was very much confused about his own feelings. Which wasn’t something new, to be honest.
But why did Pete get to him in that way? It felt a bit like- okay, this was weird. But it felt like a crush. A crush that tried to break to the surface. Sure, the love to Harry Potter was still strong, but… Draco’s eyes went wide. Oh god, please not another person who made him go mad!

—

“Dear Pete,
I’m quite aware that I am indeed cute. I’m also very hot and have lots of sexy clothes. And money, oh boy do I have money. So if you want to break the law of anonymity, I’m always available.
Jokes aside, I’m very happy to be Edwin. Believe it or not, your sexy pen pal did a few dumb things and is mostly known for them (not for his god looks, unbelievable!). I know I should face the consequences, and I do face them daily, and I hate myself most of the time. But even I need some time apart from that. So, thanks for being there.
I am sorry for judging you about the mint thingy. I never thought it might have to do something with your family. Families are the worst sometimes, I know that well. I just hope you moved on (when you’re not eating mint candies).
See, I’m trying to lighten the mood, but I’m not sure if it’s working?
Did you confront your cousin some time?
Tulips grow mostly in the Netherlands, that’s true. But I think there is a field somewhere near London, where witches and wizards can pick them, even in the moonlight (mostly in the moonlight. That’s the time where tulips are the best). You can ask your smart friend, I’m sure she heard of it.
Maybe you’ll get to know a cute witch there. Ask her on a date or something. A friend of mine met his wife at a church. If that works, why not the tulips field? (I mean, seriously! A place where they decided whether to burn your ancestors? That’s a creepy vibe, but I’ll go with it, they are cute together).
Wishing you the best of luck!
Edwin.”

—

“Dear Edwin,
I never imagined you to be other than hot, well dressed and rich. The name “Edwin” basically gave it away.
I don’t think you’ve ever judged me about my mint thingy? I can’t find it in any of your letters. And even if so, you’re allowed to do that! It’s not like I can’t take a joke. Or a lighthearted comment. It’s kind that you try to be nice, but I much more appreciate it when you’re just being honest and …normal.

Thanks for lightening the mood, I really appreciate it :)
I didn’t confront him, we lost touch long ago. And I’m not sure, if I could do it. I’m very nauseous about my family.
But I have my friends. And I love them, I really do. They are my real family.
Thanks for the tip!! I asked my smart friend and she told me where it was. Sure also said I have to thank you from her, she totally forgot about that. Oh, and she loves that she’s called the “smart friend”.
I doubt that I will meet anyone nice there. I’m also not so very much into women, actually, no. I’m not into women, I’m gay and I hope that’s okay with you. No, scratch that. My smart friend told me, if you don’t accept me, I will break contact.

She’s very protective.
But I’m pretty sure, you’re okay with that.
I mean, you’re Edwin!
Bye!! Pete

P.S.: aww, your friends seem cute!”

—

“Your friend seems nice.”, Hermione said. “The one you’re writing to.”
Harry smiled. “Yeah, he is nice.”
Hermione nodded approvingly. “It’s good to see you doing something other than obsessing over Malfoy.”
Harry frowned. “I’m not obsessing.”
“Oh, Harry, but you are!”

Chapter Text

Harry stood in front of the ministry of magic. It was time to get his job back. It occurred to him during another sleepless night: maybe the head aurors wanted him to fight for his job. Maybe they were waiting for him to burst into their office and demand his position back, maybe they’d even give him the promotion he’s been waiting since forever now.
He went in through the visitor’s entrance, going straight to Robards’ office.
He burst through the door.
“We need to talk.”

Draco did never expect to run into Potter in the halls of the ministry.
Yes, he knew they both worked here. The Prophet didn’t exactly treat Potter’s workplace with much secrecy.
But even when Draco started his job here, he made sure to never see Harry Potter again.
He didn’t need to make a big effort, he worked down here, after all. Nobody wanted to go into the ‘accountant corner’.
But now, he stepped outside his office and saw Harry-bloody-fucking-shit-I-still-have-a-strong-love-potion-in-my-system-Potter.
What the fuck?

“What the fuck?”
Harry looked up. Malfoy was there, face red like a tomato.
Harry’s whole body went tense.
“Malfoy.”
“What are you doing here?”, his voice was higher as usual. Harry had to think about Edwin and what he claimed about his voice. Edwin was cute. Malfoy wasn’t.
“Looking for you, you twat.”, Harry spit.
“Why?”, Harry noticed how Malfoy’s eyes went slightly softer. Weird.
“Because I don’t like you and I need to be angry for a while and you don’t care when I’m angry. Hell, you even fight back! And to be honest? I like that. I fucking like fighting with you so please just say that you hate me and curse me or something because I definitely hate you and my job is done, I’m ‘too impulsive’ but guess what? You’re the only person in my life who actually accepts it when I’m enraged! And sometimes I just want to, I don’t know, punch you in your punchable face and then you’d punch me back and-“ Harry didn’t know where he was going with this. And he also didn’t know why he was stepping so close to Malfoy. But now he was so, oh so close and Malfoy frowned and his eyes became angry and Harry didn’t know that his nose was so small and cute, well, he knew but he was so close right now, that he could observe his nose even better. And Malfoy’s breathing became faster. And gaze became angrier, almost filled with pure hatred. And then he pushed Harry away.
“So you only came here to tell me how much you hate me?” His voice was deep now, full with tension and then he stepped closer again and for a moment, Harry could feel his breath on his face. But then Malfoy pushed him again.
“Because this is all you do. You play with people, push them around how you like it and you never even think that they’re are humans too, that they might hate you, yes but-“ and again, he pushed him, and again, he stepped closer. “They also have a life full of shit that they need to live. But you are so selfish, only thinking about yourself, always being the golden boy but you never see other people. You only see yourself.” The last words were spoken silently, almost whispered. But he was so close now that Harry could hear them clearly.
Harry could feel the wall behind him, Malfoy’s breath on his face, and his gaze on his lips. He suddenly was very aware of the fact that he didn’t brush his teeth before going to the ministry, but Malfoy’s eyes lingered nevertheless on his lips and it was quiet, the world was so quiet, only their fast breathing echoed in the empty hallway.

And then the kiss.
Harry didn’t know who made the first move but their lips met halfway through and it was so, so good. The kiss was angry and messy and there were too much unresolved feelings for it to be romantic in any kind. But Harry never had wanted anyone so badly, maybe since third year, but definitely now. They panted and Harry’s teeth crushed against Malfoy’s and it was perfect in a very twisted way.
And when they finally found an empty office and Malfoy unbuttoned Harry’s shirt with shaky, hectic hands, Harry could swear this was why he went to the ministry in the first place.

Chapter Text

“Dear Pete,
I did judge you. In my head, while doing basically anything. I thought: ‘how the fuck can someone be that nice and sweet and still not in the mood for mint flavored things?’ But, well, I’m very proud you tried the ice cream. Good job.
I’m also very not straight myself. I actually did something rather confusing yesterday.
That’s also why I need some time to think. I’ll write to you soon!
Edward.”

—-

Draco called Pansy.
It was the only logical thing to do after that afternoon in the ministry.
She ran immediately to the fireplace, sitting down before his head in the green flames.
“Draco! How are you? Lucy’s mom is getting better, I’ll be home soon, that’s for sure! What’s the big news? You look terrible!” She laughed, carelessly. God, Draco hadn’t realize how much he missed her until now.
“Pansy, I fucked up.”
She shot him a concerned look.
“Fucked up?”
“I, yes, well, I slept with him.”
“Wait-“
“Yes.”
“Harry Potter?”
“Mhm”
“You slept with Harry Potter?”
“Yes, and it was quite brilliant.”
“And it was- Draco!”
“I know, I know, it’s the love potion speaking.”
After a short while Pansy said:
“So, you slept with him?”
“Yes, Pansy, I know it’s quite hard to understand but you still don’t need to say it out loud the whole time.”
She didn’t listen.
“So you slept with him, but did he know you did?”
“What- Pansy! I’m not some kind of creep!”
“So it was consensual?”
“It was.”
“And you were Draco Malfoy? No polyjuice potion?”
“No! He knew exactly who I was.”
He had called his name after all. ‘Malfoy’, he had moaned. ‘Malfoy.’
Pansy grinned.
“Tell me more.”
“He confronted me in the hallway in the ministry and we got into a fight. And then we kissed, found an empty office, had sex and went our ways.”
It sounded so boring. It had not been boring at all.
“So you hate-fucked?”
“We…hate-fucked?”
“Yes. You fucked out of anger.”
“Okay, yes, we hate-fucked. But Pansy, it was amazing, truly amazing! His lips are really soft and his voice gets all rough when he says stuff like ‘bend over, Malfoy’ or-“
Pansy’s eyes went wide. Draco stopped.
“Oh, Draco. Darling, you know that that’s the love potion, don’t you?”
“Yes. I know.” He sighed.
“And that’s good, because you hate each other. You can’t be crushing on him. That would be your end.”
Draco knew she loved him. He could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, oh so gentle, oh so caring. He only wished, Potter loved him as much.

The next time they had sex, Potter didn’t even bother to say something to him, yet alone yell at him. He dragged him out of the hallway, into the office, kissing him forcefully on the mouth, his neck, his chest.
Draco closed his eyes. This was all he ever wanted, according to the love potion. But the other part of him wished, Potter would be more gentle. And a small, very small part of him wanted it to be Pete who unbuttoned his trousers, hastily, with clumsy fingers.

Chapter Text

“Dear Edwin,
I know you’ve said you wanted a break from writing letters, but it’s been two weeks now and I’m really growing concerned.
I’m writing you this last letter, but if you decide that you want to keep writing, I’m all yours :)
I hope all the confusing things in your life have turned out fine. For all I know it can’t possibly be as complicated as my life.
But enough of that depressing, confusing reality!
I craved writing to you, not only because I miss you very badly but also because I actually have all the ingredients together!
I’m so happy to tell you! I purchased some from overseas and it was exciting to await the packages! It wasn’t easy, I tell you that. Did you know that Californian Tea Leaves are so rare in the wizardry community that I had to buy them from a muggle gift shop? I hope they work, the lady I emailed was rather confused about my request. (“Isn’t England the tea nation?”)

I really hope you write back! I miss your letters.
Love, Pete”

Draco didn’t respond. The day he got the letter, he also went to the potions shop to get his ingredients. Potter still worked there, but Draco knew he sneaked out pretty often to go to the ministry. Draco knew because Potter fucked him roughly every time he went there.
Draco also knew that Potter had asked to get his job back, his request was denied and now, Potter was angry. Which resolved in hate-fucking. Awesome. Wow.
It was pretty awkward seeing Potter at the shop. But it wasn’t necessarily bad to see him. With the regular sex, the love potion tuned itself down a bit. There wasn’t a strong longing anymore, no want, just a bit of lust. A casual erection, whenever he saw Potter. It was not real love, after all.
Potter gave him a carton with the ingredients.
Draco carried it outside the shop. It looked a bit like he was moving.

At home, he went right to the brewing.
And he couldn’t stop but feeling a special kind of sadness. The one where something comes to an end.

Chapter Text

Harry waited for Edwin’s letter for a long time.
He looked miserable, Hermione said. Even Ron noticed.
“I might love him.”, Harry had said.
“It were only a few letters, Harry.”
He got his job back.
He didn’t proceed to fuck Malfoy.
There was no need, there was no unresolved anger anymore, no heat.
They rarely came across each other in the hallways of the ministry, and when they did Malfoy awkwardly looked away. Harry could see his whole body tighten, getting stiff.
He had always thought that Malfoy was pretty. Now, that he was alone, he wished that he at least had remembered some of the beauty of Malfoy’s body when he was naked.
Soon after that, Malfoy quit his job.
Harry knew he was applying for the job at the potions shop of Mr Calfield.
Good for him.
Harry missed Edwin.
His easiness while talking about his friends. His jokes to lighten the mood. The nerdiness about potions. The way he knew Harry, in a way no one else did.
It wasn’t love, in particular. But the possibility was there, had been, at least. With all the letters they had exchanged, there was the chance they might meet someday, might go on a date, might like each other.
Maybe he was just homophobic.
Harry sighed.

But then the owl came to his flat. Harry sprung up, sprinted to the window. It was Edwin’s owl.

“Dear Pete,
I’m so sorry for not writing in such a long time. Where to start, I made a few drastic changes in my life recently. I know that that’s not an excuse, but I really had to take a step back.
I hope you didn’t think I wouldn’t write anymore! I missed you, truly.
And I’m definitely not homophobic, just to clarify. I would even go as far and label myself a gay man. Do with that information what you want.
I’m btw a bit drunk (again). I actually drank on purpose. I wanted to ask you something, but with a clear mind, I would never have dared!
I’m pretty shy about things.
Do you want to meet someday?
Good. Now it’s on paper. I think I’ll go to bed soon, alcohol always makes me tired.
Do you think-

Sorry. I actually fell asleep at my desk. That’s seriously sad. I can’t drink alcohol without getting intensely tired. And doing dumb things, obviously. Now it’s the next morning and I’m hangover enough to still send this letter. Right now, I only can think of my hangover potion. So I’ll make this quick.
Do you think you can get to Fortescues Ice Cream Parlor on Saturday? They have nice booths where you’re pretty hidden from others. I’ll wait from 12 o’clock till five. I’ll bring a book, but I would still be very happy if you’d show up! No pressure though.
Edwin”

Harry’s hands trembled. He was getting ready for his date, or whatever it was, with Edwin.
Because of course he was, how could he say no to this? All the time he waited for a letter and now he would meet the man that made his heart beat with his words alone.
It was all going a bit fast, but better fast than too slow. Harry liked to rush things, liked to jump right into it, without thinking, without worrying.
He dressed casual, a green sweater which brought out his eyes and black jeans.
His heartbeat echoed in his ears.
It all seemed so unreal. He opened the door to Fortescue’s. The table was inside, he knew it himself, had sat there often after work, escaping fans with chocolate ice cream on his tongue.
He stepped inside and yes, there was someone sitting at the table. The upright posture and the blonde, almost white hair were all too familiar.
Malfoy.
The world went quiet.
It couldn’t be.
Then again, it made sense.
The longing to remain anonymous. The potion knowledge. Hell! Even his chosen name!
Harry’s mouth tasted bitter.
He thought Edwin knew him, understood his feelings, Harry hadn’t seen him as a stranger, but a friend. Someone who knew what it was like to be him. Someone like him. But Malfoy-
They hated each other.
And even though they had slept together, even though Harry remembered the feeling of Malfoy’s teeth in his neck, his weak voice whispering ‘yes’ and ‘please’, he never had thought of Malfoy as a person with emotions just so close to his own.
Oh god. Harry had fucked him with so much hate.
And now, Malfoy was sitting there, peacefully, reading a book, most likely some high literature Harry could never concentrate on, and Harry felt so ashamed.
He needed to get out of here. Harry turned around, but there was someone behind him, a waiter and they smiled brightly and asked something and Harry couldn’t understand a word they said, everything was still so quiet. But now, Malfoy turned around and his face, oh god, his eyes looked terrified.
Harry did the only thing he could think of. He fled the scene.

Potter. Of course. Of course he had to fall in love with him again.
Draco shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, while Pansy looked at him in shock.
“You fell in love… with Harry Potter?”
Deja-Vu.
“Yes.”
“Again?”
“Sadly.”
“And not because of a love potion but because you exchanged letters?”
“You got it.”
He tried to smile. He was sure it turned out miserable.
“You look terrible.”
“I feel terrible.”
Pansy nodded.
“You still love him? After all you two have been through?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t need to think about it. He always had a small crush on Harry Potter. Now, after the letters, it felt like he still had the love potion in his system.
Pansy nodded.
“What are you thinking?”
“Huh?”
“That is your thinking face.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t have a thinking face.”
Draco smiled softly. She did. Her eyebrows were knitted together and she looked all concentrated.
Then, she grinned. A small, evil grin.
Her plotting face.
“Pans, don’t even think about it.”
She looked up.
“I’ll get you out of this mess. Trust me.”

Harry didn’t know what he thought would happen the Monday after the disaster, but he certainly didn’t think Pansy Parkinson would storm into his office.
“Alright Potter, you listen to me.”
“How did you get in here?”
“I’m a woman in my twenties, I have my ways.”
“You flirted your way into my office?”
“Yes. Your secretary thinks I’m hot, get over it.”
“Does your girlfriend approve?”
“You really are someone, huh? What my girlfriend and I discuss is none of your business. Now, I’m here to talk about you and your relationship with my idiot best friend. So cancel your next meeting and settle this matter once and for all.”
She slammed her hand on Harry’s desk.
What choice did he have?

Pansy sat in front of his desk, staring directly into his eyes. She looked terrifying.
“Uhm.”, Harry said.
“Do you- do you want tea?”
She did not blink. Creepy.
“I want answers.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Slytherins were always so dramatic!
“Answers to what exactly?”
“Why did you hate-fuck Draco?”
Harry coughed.
“I- what?”
“You hate him, yet you fucked the shit out of him.”
Well, he did, didn’t he?
“I don’t hate him anymore.”
Harry spoke quietly, he almost didn’t hear it himself.
“Pardon?”
“I don’t hate him anymore.”
That he said louder, with more confidence.
Pansy looked cautious, as if he would say something like ‘I don’t hate him anymore, because I killed him after torturing his mother.’
This lady was just weird.
“What do you mean?”
“I-“ god, this was difficult.
“I thought I hated him because I needed someone to blame for all my problems. And when I yelled at him he wouldn’t cry or deny anything, he would just shoot back and I think that’s because I kept fighting with him. Because he reacted to it in the way I needed him to react. Because he didn’t seem to be hurt by the things I said. I mean, he hates me as well, so of course he wouldn’t be hurt. I just- I never thought of him as a person, I guess. And I’m really sorry, I realized that I was wrong and that we’re actually alike in some twisted way, and I’m so ashamed. I didn’t treat him with the respect he deserves. I just wish I could make it up to him. But-“
“You can.”
Pansy’s voice was soft.
“I can?”
“Yes. Go on a date with him. God, I never thought I’d say that but I believe you. You reflected on your actions and you seem to care, so good job, go on a date with him and I’m out of here.”
She stood up quickly, as if there were too many emotions in the room which could infect her any second now, gave him a thumbs up and slipped out of his office.
She left behind a baffled Harry with a little smile on his face.

Chapter Text

They met at Fortescue’s one week after Pansy’s visit.
Malfoy looked nervous and stunning and a bit overdressed and Harry wanted to hug him to say sorry, because he was just awful and Malfoy still met up with him.
Instead, he sat down in front of him.
“Hi.”
Malfoy flashed him a quick smile.
“What are you reading?”
He pointed at the book on the table, next to Malfoy’s hand. Malfoy had pretty hands. With long fingers and neatly trimmed nails. But then again, Malfoy was overall very pretty.
Malfoy’s hand moved closer to the book on the table, as if he might need a weapon to defend himself.
“It’s called ‘we’re okay.’ It’s a rather depressing book, but I needed a break from ‘Circe’, which got depressing in a way I did not expect. Actually, I began to read ‘Circe’ because it reminded me of ‘Animal Farm’ and that I have read because ‘the Time Machine’ was really good and I wanted to catch up on classic muggle literature. And I’m yapping, aren’t I? Sorry.”
Harry smiled. “No, go on. I really don’t like books that much, honestly, but I like listening to you.”
Malfoy grinned. “I’m not surprised by that information.”
But it wasn’t a snarky comment like Harry was expecting from Malfoy. It sounded more like he was joking along with Harry. Harry chuckled.
“Hey, I’m the boy who lived not the boy who read.”
Malfoy’s eyes glistened with joy. “I think you meant you are the boy who can’t joke, because that, Harry, that was the worst one I’ve ever heard.”
Harry smiled.
“What? You’re getting all giggly.” He looked nervous again.
“You just called me Harry.”
Malfoy - Draco? - looked at his nails. After a long pause he said: “well, it’s your name, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Harry smiled. “It is.”

Draco told him about the books. Harry could only admire how precisely he explained them, leaving out the not so important things but highlighting the character of the protagonists indirectly by telling him short anecdotes about them. He also had a tone of background information ready, and Harry just had to smile. It was so bizarre. He enjoyed his time with Draco and he felt relaxed, even secure with him.
“You’re such a nerd.”
“And I’m proud of that.”
Harry felt his heart swell with affection.
“You’re-“ he cleared his throat. “You’re cute.”
Draco looked up, surprised and just as their eyes met-
“Are you ready to order your ice cream?”
They both looked up, stunned and a bit embarrassed.
“Err, yes. Chocolate and Apple please.”, Draco said. Then looked at Harry. “Right?”
Harry nodded reassuring. “Right.”

“So no mint?”
Draco shook his head. “I thought I’d spice things up.”
“By ordering apple flavored ice cream?”
“Yes.”
“What you’re gonna do? Use it as lubricant?”
Draco laughed.
“Gross! Why is it always sex with you?”
Harry grew silent.
“Look, I’m sorry I used you to let off steam. I don’t know what I was thinking! I-“
“Harry.”
He looked up. Draco smiled.
“It’s okay. Now, open your mouth. And no! That’s not a sex thing, just-“
He sighed. Harry laughed.
He awkwardly opened his mouth wide. And Draco shoved a spoon full of ice cream into his mouth.
Harry laughed so hard he almost choked on it.
“That- that was the spicing things up? Oh god, please don’t tell me you’ve been planning this!” Draco’s uneasy face gave him away.
“Oh god, that’s so sweet!”
Draco smiled, a bright smile Harry could never forget again.
Then he said:
“Swallow it.”
And Harry burst out into laughter again.

“You’re so immature.”, Draco said as they walked through Diagon alley. It was dark, but still warm and the street was empty. Most of the shops were closed.
Harry liked the easiness they talked with, Draco’s comments were funny, often sarcastic yes, but they shared this humor.
The apple ice cream was terrible, but not as terrible as the minty one. He thought of Draco and him sharing ice cream, Draco finishing Harry’s portion because Harry was full, but he couldn’t just leave the food there. Draco was everything. The answer to so many questions. He wanted to be with him. He really wanted to.
“I know. Most people don’t get that. In the newspapers they don’t quote such things as ‘I’m not a Slytherin. But I could slither into your husband any time’”
“You really said that in an interview?
“Yes! And then I laughed so hard my belly hurt. The interviewer probably thought I was going mental!”
Draco laughed. “Well, as an actual Slytherin, I could show you how to slither into other peoples’ husbands with style.”
Harry laughed. Loud and surprised and happy. God, he hadn’t been this happy in a long time.
“Was that an invitation into your bed, Malfoy?”, he said teasing.
“Scared, Potter?” Draco raised an eyebrow.
“You wish.”

They ended up on the couch in Draco’s admittedly comfy home, watching the office.
“To be honest, I would like to take things slow.”, Harry had said. They hadn’t even kissed yet and Harry wanted Draco so bad. But at the same time, it didn’t feel right. He wanted to cherish him, show him that this meant something. Because it did. All that mattered was Draco. He had always been there and Harry hoped so badly that he would stick around.
But right now, they were taking it slow. On the couch. Watching the office.

One and a half year later…

“You did what?”
Draco rolled his eyes. Deja-Vu for sure.
“I proposed.”
Pansy opened her mouth. Then closed it again.
“I cannot believe it!”
She grinned.
“What did he say?”
“Pansy. Look at me. I’m hot, I’m rich, I’m smart.”
She laughed.
“Oh Draco, I can’t believe it! You’re getting married, I’m adopting a baby! Who would’ve believed it?”
“No one. But who would’ve believed I fell in love with Harry Potter of all people?”
“Twice, I may add!”