Work Text:
Bruce absently reached for his mug as he updated files on the computer. His hand groped at the empty air. Swiveling his chair around, he spotted Damian leaning against the door with the mug in his hand. It was a plain white mug with the words “World’s Okayest Dad” written on the front. Tim, his lips quirked up in a smirk, stood just behind Damian.
Bruce held his hand out. Damian did not move. Gingerly, slowly Damian lifted the mug to his lips. His face twisted in disgust but he quickly schooled it into something carefully blank.
“It’s too bitter for you,” Bruce pointed out.
“But revenge is sweet,” Tim countered. Damian was still struggling not to gag. Bruce fought down a laugh and held out his hand once again. Neither of them moved.
“Your caffeine consumption is unhealthy,” Damian stated as if delivering a report, “Your brain has adjusted to high levels of caffeine, so it requires larger quantities to maintain the same effect.”
“If you insist on us returning the coffee, I’ll have to confiscate it for the sake of your health,” Tim explained before chugging down the coffee. Bruce suspected Tim did not want to walk to the kitchen and prepare his own cup of coffee. Bruce rubbed his eyes, still surprised to see his sons in such close proximity to each other without fighting.
At his raised eyebrow, Damian explained, “We have formed a temporary alliance with the shared goal of improving your health.”
“Also revenge,” Tim added helpfully.
Bruce sat up in bed at the three staccato knocks at his door. Damian. Bruce could tell which of his sons was at the door based on their footsteps and how they knocked. Tim’s knock was always quiet and hesitant. Jason would provide a few quick knocks and enter before Bruce could open the door. Dick’s were elaborate and often to the beat of whichever song he liked at the moment.
Damian, once again followed by Tim, walked over to the bed. Recently, the pair had been spending an odd amount of time together. While the novelty of their bonding hadn’t worn off yet, trouble was always quick to follow. Bruce narrowed his eyes.
“What’s this?”
“A gift” Damian presented him with a mug of coffee. “This way we can closely monitor your coffee consumption, so we may take the correct steps to limit your caffeine intake.” Bruce took a sip of coffee.
“This is decaf, isn’t it?”
“No comment.”
Tim shuffled his way into the kitchen, eyelids drooping shut. Bruce ruffled his hair affectionately.
“Stay up late again?” Bruce poured his coffee into a mug. The warmth of the mug was a comforting weight in his hands and he breathed in the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Damian and Tim’s scheming had managed to slightly reduce Bruce’s reliance on coffee. Bruce let them have the win. After all, his poor habits led to his sons bonding. Plus, Tim’s schemes diverted time away from creating his awful caffeine concoctions (usually a mix of whatever energy drink he could get his hands on and stale coffee). In a way, it benefited the health of Bruce and Tim, so he did not interfere with their plans.
“Mhm,” Tim mumbled intelligently. Bruce nodded as if he had said something thought-provoking and profound. Tim rested his head against Bruce. Bruce set down his mug and maneuvered around Tim to reach his toast. A fatal mistake. The moment his mug clinked against the counter, it was gone. Bruce spun around in time to see Damian and Tim high-fiving as Tim skipped away with his coffee.
“World’s Greatest Detective outsmarted by a boy,” Alfred commented.