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“You’re a lot more fun when you’re not at work” Carla smirked as she sipped her almost-empty glass of wine.
Lisa rolled her eyes. “Well yeah, part of the job is it to get on peoples nerves.”
It was a Saturday night and the two women had gone to a semi-local bar. Going to the Rovers had felt a bit too public for drinks with the local copper, so when Carla had asked Lisa out, she chose somewhere a little more discrete.
‘Asked her out’: the phrase made Carla shudder. Had she asked her out? Was this a date? Sure, there was a connection, but Carla wasn’t interested in women like that. Or was she?
“So, go on, tell me your deepest and darkest secret. I want to know the lot.” Carla didn’t need wine to make her confident, but admittedly it made it easier with Lisa. She didn’t quite know why, but being around Lisa made her nervous.
“You already know my secrets! I basically poured my heart out to you, remember?”
Carla frowned. “Oh come on, there must be something!”
“Fine.” Lisa pursed her lips together as she prepared her words. “You were the first person I told around here about my past. And I know thats weird because, well, you’re you. But I really appreciated that, even if it was highly unprofessional.”
“Well, I’m honoured to have been the first. But you know, there’s no shame in being upset when you’ve gone through something like that. Trust me, I know.”
“Been dealt a shitty hand too then?”
Carla took another sip of her drink. “Something like that.”
They locked eyes for a moment. Carla felt her heartbeat racing faster. What did that mean? She looked away quickly, embarrassment creeping over her. She was going insane; what power did this woman have over her?
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make the conversation go all heavy.” Lisa said, noticing Carla’s reaction and worrying she had overshared.
“I asked.” Carla replied. “And will you stop worrying. I’ve already told you, it’s fine.”
There was a moments silence. A pause.
When Carla had suggested going for a drink, she knew deep down she had an ulterior motive. She had to figure out what was going on between them; why had she not been able to stop thinking about Lisa? Why did she feel a pull towards her? Carla had never looked at another woman romantically before, this couldn’t be attraction. Or could it?
The thought made her cringe slightly. She was almost 50 years old and she was starting to feel like she didn’t even know herself anymore. But part of her had to ask, did it matter? If she liked a man or a woman, why should she care? It wasn’t like her track record with men had been great, but that wasn’t the point. She knew she was feeling something more and to deny herself of exploring that, would be a disservice to herself.
“Lisa, can I ask you something else?”
“Okay.”
“How did you know you liked women?”
Bold, but Lisa complied.
“I suppose I’ve always known really. It’s just who I am.”
Carla nodded. Unsurprisingly, she couldn’t relate to the blonde’s experience.
“Why do you ask?”
“I just… I don’t know. Sorry, thats probably a strange thing to ask, isn’t it?”
Lisa shook her head. “You can be honest with me.”
‘Fuck it’ Carla thought. You don’t know unless you try, and she really wanted to try. There was an easy way to get her answers.
She quickly leaned over the table and kissed the blonde. It was passionate, yet sudden and spontaneous.
Lisa pulled back. “Carla, what are you doing?”
A slight panic fell over Carla. “I’m sorry, I’ve never done that before. I mean, obviously I have, but not with a woman.”
“Right, so you felt like using me for an experiment?”
“Well, sort of, but for some reason I think I find you insanely hot. And I don’t fully understand what that means, but I really wanted to kiss you. Still do.”
Kissing her had worked. Answers she needed had flowed in that one kiss. She didn’t need labels or to pressure herself with her sexuality, she needed Lisa. Wanted Lisa.
And what Carla Connor was about to figure out, was that Lisa wanted her too.