Chapter Text
Street was sleeping in the room that night, he tossed and turned as he tried to get a hour in, but he just couldn’t do it. He sensed that there was something that was amissed. As the night continued, he heard something coming up the stairs in the house. It was his foster father, Street could feel his heart drop, he rushed out of bed to hide in the closet. He listened his foster father was making his way to the bedroom, the footsteps getting increase in sound as he made his way to the bedroom.
Street was shaking, he couldn’t bear another night of his father foster’s assaults, he could tell someone, but the only thing that the system would do is just place him in another home again, which means he might face it with some other person. “James, where are you?” asked the man as he entered the bedroom.
Street was silent. “I know you in here,” his foster father stepped around the room, James tried to squeeze himself more into the closet.
“Come out, come out wherever you are.” his foster father teased.
Street’s face began to fill with tears as he prayed that his foster father would leave the room, he heard the footsteps walk to the closet.
“I know your in there.”
The closet doors were flung open, “NO!” he screamed as he tried to make his run, “Come here you little brat, me and you are going to have fun tonight.” James watched as his foster father undone his belt, without thinking he pushed him away, but his foster father grabs him.
Street screams to be left alone only to have his pleads fall on deaf ears.
End of flashbacks
Street has woke up in bed freaking out, he looked around to see his surroundings. “Are you okay baby?”
Street looked over to see his lover wake up beside him, grabbing him in for a cuddle.
“I’m fine-” he couldn’t finish his sentence without beginning to sob, “Hey, hey, I’m here okay, we don’t have to talk, we can just hold each other.”
Street edged closer to Hondo, as his lover squeezed him harder, after an hour of crying and sobbing James finally spoke.
“You have the dream again didnt you?”
“I did, I been having alot these days, I feel like some old memories are resurfacing again and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“I think it might be a sign, there may be things that you need to deal with that you been avoiding.” said Hondo, “I don’t know how I’m going to handle it, I’m worried that I might not do well, I feel like it just easier to just push everything down.” said Street.
“Baby, you did that before and look what it has done, it’s going to start affecting you if you don’t get to the bottom of it. I know it's scary, but I promise it would be better than keeping it locked in, one day it;s going to boil over and come out unexpectedly.” advised Hondo.
Street thought it over, the thought of being vulnerable to someone else is scary, it took him a bit to open up to Hondo, and their lovers. And the idea of a therapist is something that he doesn’t know if he even has enough strength to open up to. Knowing his boyfriend, he’ll likely drag him there, then again, he keeps having the dream, and it’s starting to affect him. It might just start with sleep, very soon it might affect everything else in life.
“How about this, I’m coming with you to Dr.Wendy’s if you want, I did promise I would be there every step of the way.” said Hondo.
“If you don’t mind, I feel anxious about it.”
“Of course.”
The next morning Street made his way to Dr.Wendy’s office, as he reached there he felt himself wanting to run, but something inside him told him to continue. By the time he reached the door, he stopped, his thoughts running a mile a second. What am I going to even to say to her?
He reach his hand to the door then paused, then made a knock on the door. “Come in” said a voice inside the office. Street made an entrance into the doctor’s office, “Street! You came early, I wasn’t expecting you until another 10 mins.”
Street stood attempting a half smile on his face, “Well, I figured that you’ll prefer an early arrival.”
“Well, I am very grateful, can you give me a few mins though, I need to clear somethings with my paperwork and I’ll grab you back in, okay?”
Street nodded and then closed the door.
A good 10 mins passed and the door with Dr. Wendy poking her head out the door, “You can come in now.” she said with the smile.
Street made an entrance into the office and took a seat on the sofa, Dr.Wendy joined him at the side on an armchair across the sofa. “So, what brings in today?”
Street kept quiet, he searched through his thoughts as he tried to find the words to say. He really doesn’t want to get into the dream, however he would like to understand why keeps having it. Or whether there’s a trauma he doesn’t want to get into it.
“Well, I don’t really know how to put it into words to be honest, I’d rather not say much.”
“Well, how about this? Maybe we don’t have to talk about it, how about we talk about something else.” Dr. Wendy suggested.
Street would love nothing more than to talk about anything else, however if he doesn’t get this dream out, it might just start to affect him. “Can I start slowly? Maybe bit by bit.”
“Of course it’s up to you.”
Street searched through his thoughts, he took a deep breath and began to speak. “Well, for the past several nights, I have been having this dream…”
Street took another breath, “It’s okay,” said Dr. Wendy, “It’s a safe place.”
“This isn’t easy, I’m not used to being open with anyone,” said Street.
“It’s okay, like I said, we can talk about something else,”
“No, it’s okay, I can do this.”
Street took another breath once again, and then began, “For the last few nights, I been having a dream where I have been assaulted by a former foster father from childhood.” Dr. Wendy listened intently, Street continued as he fidgeted with his thumbs. “Every night, I would be tossing and turning in my sleep, and then I would get this weird feeling that he would be in the house. Then I would run into the closet to escape him, but no matter how many times I runaway from him he always catches me.”
“What do you think this dream means? Do you think it’s a message of some sort?” Dr. Wendy asked.
“I’m not sure, I didn’t start having this dream until I started getting intimate with my partner.”
Dr.Wendy nodded as she jotted things in her notes, “Do you think it might be a trigger of some sort?”
“I’m not too sure. All I know is that it wasn’t happening until I started getting intimate with my partner.” said Street, “I would like to know where it came from.”
“Is there an chance that you made have experienced sexual abuse in your youth?”
“Not that I remember.”
“Are you familiar with dissociation?”
“No,”
“Well, sometimes when we experience a trauma that extreme, to keep us in our survival state, the brain blocks out trauma as a way to protect us, and keep us sane.”
“So, is there anything that can happen if I push it down, I do know that I keep locked down.”
“It’s possible, but then it’s also not a healthy coping mechanism, eventually everything will spill out, you won’t know when but it could come out when you least expect it.”
Street kept silent for a few seconds, “I can’t remember, all I know is that I remember my foster father walking to my door, and then everything blocks out. Even if I want to remember, it’s just black spots, maybe the memories are the dreams, I’m not sure.”
“Well, from reading your file Street, you had gone through alot of trauma.”
“Well, If anything, I wish I had a normal life. Then I wouldn’t go through all this.”
“What do you mean by a normal life, what does a normal life look like to you?”
“Not having all this pain.”
Dr. Wendy listened as Street continued through the session, she drew down notes as he mentioned his curiosities. Whenever he wanted to stopped, she made sure to change to subject to his liking, allowing him to process the topic that he told her. After an hour, the doctor looked at the time on her watch, “Well, it appears you time is up, when is the next time you want to be able to meet me?”
“I was thinking about next week, if that’s possible.”
“It’s up to you, anything you're comfortable with, we can do.”
“I’m fine with doing next week.”
“Then next week it is.”
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
It was a sunny day on a Saturday and the Deacon and his family, along with the team, gathered together for Lylia's swimming competition. There was nothing but laughs and smiles throughout the entire afternoon.
“Man! I can go for a horse right now!” said Luca has a stretched himself on the hair, “You mean Godzilla because you basically just ate the entire population of cows,” Chris teased, “First off, I was hungry, with the way I was running around all week, I should eat all the cows because I need the energy.”
“Well geez, be sure to save some for us.” Tan laughed, “Not with my body type.” said Luca snapped back playfully, the team let out a laugh. Hondo shook his head, “Is really a hang out with you Luca?”
“Nope, that’s why you love me.”
Hondo turned over to lover to noticed him spacing out, “Hey, you okay?” Street was zoned out, Hondo snapped his finger in his face a couple times “Hellooo”
Street snapped back to reality, “Huh?”
“You okay? You looked spaced out, you haven’t said anything the entire time.” said Hondo
“Oh, I was just tired from the night before, it was a long shift the other night, so I’m still feeling tired over it.” Street responded
“Did you get anything to eat? I know you usually get tired if you haven't eaten anything.”
“Come to think of it, I didn't I did, I guess I was so busy I forgot to eat.”
“Hey, at least you’re not eating all the food on the planet like mr. Eat All Vegetation on the planet here.” said Chris, bumping elbows with Luca, “Hey! Hondo!”
Hondo cocked his eyebrows and shook his head at his teammates, he went back to his boyfriend, “If you want, I can go get you something.”
“Nah, it’s okay, I can go get it, I was feeling a mood for sugar,”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m good, If I need saving, I'll be sure to call you my knight.” Hondo smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the lips.
“Ewww, you guys are gross, get a room.” Luca chimes in.
“Just say you’re jealous because you got no girl or man.” said Street mocking his friend.
“I don’t need a significant other, I’m married to SWAT as you can remember.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that sweetie.”
Whatever!” The team let out another laugh before Street leaves to retrieve a snack.
As he made his way to the vendors he noticed Lylia with the older man that was familiar from earlier. He looked closer to the adult man that was talking to Lylia
Mr. Jason? He thought.
He stood there watching the older man take the young girl with him, a feeling crept into Street's gut, it was all too familiar. Why would an older man need to be alone with a child and lure her away from all the public?
He began following them as they made their way out the pool area of the school, walking down the hallway. They made their way into his office, letting the girl inside first. Street started freaking out, he walked down the office to the door, he grabbed the knob to make his way, finding it locked.
No, no,no,no, this can’t be happening!
Street rushed over to the nearest fire extinguisher, he broke the glass grabbing the item and used it to break the knob to get into the office. He kicked the door open rushing inside searching for Lylia
“Lylia!” he called, he looked over to see another shut, without a thought he broke the door to scene of the older man on top of Lylia.
In a blind rage, Street grabbed the man off Lylia, throwing him against trophies on the wall, “Go!”
Lylia ran out of the room. The man struck Street back in the face, snapping him back into the flashback.
“You better listen boy! It’s for your good, if you know what’s good for you?”
The man pushed Street onto the bed that Lylia escaped from, “Shut up, put up with it, you whore!”
Triggered Street punched the man once more pushing him, sending the man flying to the edge of the desk landing him on the corner causing him to hit the ground. Street stood there, completely blank. He noticed a trophy, grabbed an object and began bashing the older man’s head repeatedly, each hit getting more and more brutal than the last one.
“James!” Hondo, as he called for his lover, “I didn’t find him at the vendor!” said Luca joining him,
“Where the hell did he go?” asked Hondo, “Beats me, but Lylia looks hysterical, I’m worried Hondo,”
“We’ll find him.”
Luca looked over to the hallway, “We may not have to look far.”
Hondo turned to the same direction as Luca, he saw Street coming down the hallway covered with specks of blood on his shirt with the object in his hand.
“James!”
Hondo rushed over to the Street, “What happened? Why is there blood on you?”
Street stared at Hondo in a daze, “What?”
“You have blood on you, you’re carrying an object with blood on it! What happened?”
“Hondo…”
“What is it baby? Talk to me, let me help you!”
“There’s a blood….I have blood…..”
“Yes, you do, why do you have blood….”
“He was going to hurt her….”
“Who? James?”
Before Hondo can get more out of Street, his boyfriend collapses into his arms. Hours later the police arrive to the scene to examine the situation that has taken place. “What happened?” asked Hondo, approaching Detective Burrows outside the office. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out, all I got is a brutalized victim and a possible suspect that went to hospital because he passed out, so until he wakes up I can get any info.”
Hondo was distraught, if only he was with Street he could maybe prevented whatever transpired in the office.
“Anything from Deacon’s daughter? Maybe she may have witnessed something.”
“Other than she was told by Street to leave the office, she can’t really tell me anything else.” said Detective Burrows. This left Hondo at a lost, he watched the body get transferred into the evidence truck, leaving him with so many questions.
What happened Street? What took place?