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The main truth of the universe is that Jeongin is stupid.
Hold on, there’s logic behind this. See, Jeongin has a crush. Which in and of itself isn’t a stupid thing of course. No. But Jeongin doesn’t have a crush on just anyone.
He could’ve crushed on Lee Felix, and then people would have told him ‘what a lovely boy’ and ‘I totally get it’ and ‘you should give him flowers, he loves flowers, he’ll notice you that way’. Alas, Jeongin’s crush is not Lee Felix and the ease of quick and unprotested courtship has been given to his best friend instead. Hyunjin didn’t even really need the flowers, of course, but he doesn’t like doing things in halves. He even searched up flower language, got Felix’s favourite colour and flower out of him, and made a bouquet centred around those two with the most intricate meaning. So Hyunjin’s crush is now a week-long relationship. Because Hyunjin isn’t stupid.
Which segues back into how Jeongin is stupid. Because his crush isn’t Lee Felix, swayed by flower language and heartfelt confessions. His crush also isn’t Kim Seungmin, who’d probably agree to a date with him if he just asked plainly enough (it worked for Seo Changbin, after all). No. No, Jeongin’s hormones or brain chemistry or whatever the fuck decides on crushes didn’t pick an easy target. Instead, Jeongin’s got a crush on Han fucking Jisung.
Now there’s nothing wrong with Han Jisung himself. Of course not. Jeongin’s got a crush on him because Han Jisung is handsome, low- and soft-voiced, takes him seriously every time they talk, could catch him if he stumbles without injuring either of them and has the body proportions of Jeongin’s fucking dreams. Han Jisung is perfection itself.
The problem, though… The problem is that everyone knows Han Jisung belongs to Lee Minho and Lee Minho belongs to Han Jisung. That’s just how it is. It’s undeniable. Even Jeongin’s mother, when he decided to mention his possible liking, said: ‘Jisung? You mean the boy who’s with Lee Minho all the time?’ Because of course his mother knows Lee Minho. Everyone knows Lee Minho. Their school’s most famous alumni, star dancer and voted most handsome student six years in a row even though he only attended the school for four years. ‘If you want to be friends with him you should, Jeongin-ah,’ his mother had added. But nothing more. Because Han Jisung isn’t meant for being more than friends with him. Han Jisung belongs with Lee Minho. And Jeongin has a useless, hopeless crush.
But Jeongin is also in this school for only four years, and graduation is near, so he has decided that there is only one way forward and past these feelings: to tell Han Jisung about them. Not to confess to him, no, that implies a grand gesture with heavy connotation and expectations. Jeongin doesn’t expect anything to happen. He wants to tell Jisung casually, amidst their weekly chats just before and after class, that ‘hey I really like you, and I know you’re in a committed, probably lifelong relationship with Lee Minho so I’m not telling you for any reason other than to let you know I think you’re amazing and a wonderful person and I hope you’ll be really, really happy in life.’ Casual. No strings attached. Just letting Jisung know that Jeongin’s his number one fan, platonically, or something.
The reality is that it’s hard to even think of saying anything like it for real. Every time he sees Jisung in class, he gets all giddy and stupid, and then when they walk towards Jisung’s next class, he just becomes someone desperately trying to turn the fifteen minute walk into a sixty minute one. By the time he remembers his intentions, Jisung has long disappeared into his classroom already, and Jeongin is left to hope for another chance next week.
Until there is no more next week. Until it’s their final class, with their final exam, and Jeongin knows that if he doesn’t tell Jisung now, he never will. Except Jisung isn’t there before class. He comes into the classroom just on the edge of being late, when the teacher has already called for silence, and he takes his seat where he’s told to sit.
So Jeongin can only do one thing, and that’s take the exam as fast as he can, so that he definitely won’t miss Jisung after. He’s the first to push to stand, calmly walking over to their teacher to hand in his test. When he glances over on his way back to his things, he sees Jisung writing furiously, clearly hard at work. He takes his time packing his things as quietly as possible and then walks out of the classroom. But he doesn’t go far. Instead, he finds a table with an easy view on Jisung’s only way out of the building, and sits down to wait.
It turns out he doesn’t have to wait long, because Jisung comes hurrying out of the classroom not five minutes later. He’s speedwalking, nearly jogging really, and almost trips over his feet to make it to the stairs quicker. So Jeongin doesn’t speak up to greet him, because Jisung’s clearly in a hurry, probably to get to Lee Minho on time, so who is Jeongin to stop him? To waste his time? He’ll just send his well-wishes up to the universe and hope it provides for Jisung in all the best ways possible. He sighs deeply at the thought, even as he’s still watching his crush reach the stairs.
Then Jisung looks up, as if he heard Jeongin’s sigh, and then promptly does a double take, coming to a full stop. “Jeongin!” He says, and he both looks and sounds surprised, immediately turning ninety degrees and walking over to the table Jeongin occupied. “You’re still here?” It seems an obvious answer, so he just shrugs, and Jisung takes a moment to seemingly just breathe slowly. “How was, uh, how was the test?”
“Went alright,” he admits, giving a little shrug. He didn’t pay too much attention, honestly. He’s done more than his best throughout the year so there was very little left to lose at this point. He was more focused on how he was going to make sure to tell Jisung about his affections. Thinking of which… “Hey, uh- I just wanted to say thank you for all the time you spent helping me with this class. You’re really the reason why my grade is as good as it is. I really appreciate all your help, and I’m glad that we got to meet becaus-”
“Do you want to go out with me?”
Jeongin blinks, silenced by the words he just heard, that he’s certain came from someone outside of this conversation, because he sure never meant to say them and there’s no way Jisung said them either. Except they’re the only two in the hallway, and Jisung is slowly turning an impressive shade of firetruck red as Jeongin stares at him incredulously.
“What?”
“Sorry. I- Sorry. I should’ve let you finish, but I just wasn’t sure I’d be able to get the words out if I waited any longer. Uh- Look. I- Look…” Jisung trails off, not explaining anything, and so Jeongin shifts in his seat, glances away, laughs lightly at the awkwardness of this entire situation.
“Did you, uh, break up with Minho-ssi?” He asks, very politely, hoping to steer this conversation back to something he understands. “Are you alright?”
“What?”
It’s Jisung’s turn to look incredulous, and Jeongin flinches a little because of it, certain that he’s making all the worst decisions that exist for him right now. Is he being rude? Is Jisung maybe poly? Does he ask other people out more regularly? Maybe Lee Minho is aware of this?
“It’s just-” he starts, but Jisung seems to regain some control over his features, closing his open mouth just to talk again as well.
“What do you mean break up? We’re not dating. Do people say that we’re dating? Did you think that we were dating? This entire time?”
“Are you not?” Jeongin’s voice rises an octave, his brain blanking out completely at the utterly confused look on Jisung’s face.
“No,” Jisung starts slowly, as if he’s trying to see whether that’s the answer he’s supposed to give. And then he seems to startle. “No! No, we’re not dating. Minho is my friend. My best friend. But it’s not… it’s not like that. Funny story actually, haha, I thought you and Hwang Hyunjin were dating, but then Lix told me that they’re dating now, so clearly you’re not dating. Unless you’re in a polycule. Are you in a polycule?”
It seems like they’re taking turns staring, and Jeongin is quite sure he’s about to lose his mind. Politely. On the inside.
“I am not dating Hyunjin,” he says, slowly, because he’s still trying to process how anyone would think that. “Also not in a polycule. I’m sorry, you’re not dating Lee Minho-ssi? Because even my mum thinks you’re dating, honestly. You’re always together, you’re calling each other darling, neither of you has been known to date anyone else, so…” Jeongin blinks, coming to the end of his so-called evidence. “So yeah. I thought you were dating him.”
“I’m not,” Jisung immediately reiterates. “I’m really not. Minho hyung’s dating Chan hyung - Bang Chan, I don’t know if you know him. They’ve never been very public about it, but they’ve been going steady for several years now. And I–” Jisung falls quiet, promptly turns firetruck red again, but then still looks him straight in the eyes when he says: “I really like you, actually. So I was wondering if you… I mean, if you’re into men first of all, I guess, and if you are, whether you want to go out on a date with me.”
Almost like an out of body experience, Jeongin hears himself say “Yeah?” It comes from far away, almost like he hears but an echo, before he seems to suddenly snap back into the present moment and his own body all at once. “I mean, yes. Yeah. I’d love to. That’s- Yeah. To the date. And the… the other thing.”
Jisung’s features slowly break into a smile while Jeongin’s speaking, and though the impressively red shade of his skin doesn’t fade immediately, he looks a lot less mortified when he’s beaming his happy smile. Jeongin promptly remembers yet another reason of why he’s got a crush on Han fucking Jisung, and nearly faints on the spot. Instead of doing that, though, he manages to offer a smile in return, and then starts to laugh softly, because he just can’t help it. Giddy and stupid, and the luckiest man on the planet to boot, it seems like.
“Really? That’s great! That’s so cool, actually. I’m, uh, when do you want to? Are you finished with finals on Friday, too? Do you want to go have dinner together? We can maybe play some pingpong after. Do you like pingpong? There’s also billiards. Whatever you want.”
“All of that sounds good.” Jeongin’s grin is pulling at his cheeks at this point, but he can’t be bothered to care. “Do you, um, are you in a rush? If not we could maybe grab lunch? The Subway’s not too far…”
“Oh I love Subway!” Jisung’s smile is worth ten million years of thinking he was dating Lee Minho, because it’s vibrant and so genuine. “I’ve got nothing to do, so let’s go!”
“Are you sure?” Jeongin can’t help but verify. “You seemed in quite the hurry earlier.”
Jisung promptly turns firetruck red all over again, ducking his head down and clearly hesitating for a moment before he mumbles something Jeongin doesn’t quite catch. At his confused sound, Jisung looks back up and repeats, slightly more audibly: “I was trying to catch up to you.”
There’s a moment of complete silence as Jeongin’s brain briefly blue screens. Then Jisung lets out a sheepish chuckle and asks: “What about you? Were you waiting for someone? Or do you have another final later?”
It’s about at this point when Jeongin’s brain reboots again, and also when it’s his turn to go not just firetruck but double firetruck red. “I was waiting for you actually,” he admits, because at this point what more is there to keep secret? “Since it’s the last class and I wasn’t sure if I was going to see you again… I just wanted to tell you, uh…” He pauses briefly, laughs all over again and then just says: “That I like you. I really, really like you. I’ve had this dumb crush on you since like day two or something which I thought was stupid since you were obviously dating Minho-ssi, but now it turns out you’re not, so I guess it’s not so dumb after all.”
The laughter is involuntary, but he feels buoyant and a little high on the endorphins of saying this out loud, to Jisung’s face. The object of his affections doesn’t look like he’s faring much better, mouth opening and closing like a fish before he brings up a hand to point at his own chest.
“Me?” Jisung asks, voice squeaking a little at the end of the sound, before he stares at Jeongin in complete shock for a good few seconds. “That’s- I- You-” He closes his mouth, seems to breathe and then try again. “You really have a crush on me?”
Being asked about it so point blank is mortifying, Jeongin realises about when his face feels like it’ll catch flame soon enough and Jisung’s expression is something between shock and awe. It’s all he can do to make himself nod, and then Jisung’s suddenly beaming at a renewed wattage that Jeongin’s pretty sure didn’t exist before today.
“No way! That’s so cool! I have a crush on you too! Ever since that time you let me borrow your charger, actually. You were waiting for me? Jeongin-ah, that’s so sweet! Do you want to hold hands while we walk to Subway? I’ve been wanting to hold your hand so bad! I think you have really pretty hands. I can’t wait to tell hyung about this. I can’t wait to tell everyone about this, actually!”
As Jisung continues chattering on in delighted excitement, Jeongin can only push himself to stand. He throws his bag over one shoulder and then, once they’ve walked to the ground floor, awkwardly but determinedly slips his hand into Jisung’s. It earns him the full voltage beaming smile all over again, and Jisung interlacing their fingers as he pulls Jeongin on the path to the Subway.
The main truth of the universe is that Jeongin is stupid. But at least he’s not so stupid he can’t accidentally stumble into getting himself a boyfriend.