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James took a deep breath as he stepped out of the fireplace and into his living room. He brushed off the soot from his shirt and looked around his home. It had been an agonisingly slow day. Moody put him and Sirius on a patrol route for the day. Watching over an area in Muggle London, they believed Voldemort and his Death Eaters would attack. Sirius, as per usual, was itching for a fight; he said he felt useless not going after those ‘genocidal maniacs’. James couldn’t help but slightly agree with his best mate. They weren’t losing the war, but they weren’t winning either. They were stuck in an in-between with no visible way out, and their only options were to keep fighting or lay down and die; James wasn’t one to easily accept defeat.
“James!?” Lily’s voice called out from the kitchen, shaking James from his ruminations.
“Yes, Lily, it’s me,” James answered as he made his way into the kitchen. “Just made it back from my patrol with Padfoot.”
James paused at the entrance once Lily came into view. His wife—Merlin, he still had a hard time believing he got to call her that—was standing with her back to the counter, her hands propped against it. Lily’s head was downcast, and her long, red hair flowed down, hiding her face from James. James frowned and walked briskly over to Lily. He stopped in front of her, and his gentle but rough hands reached her to cup her face.
“Lily, my love, what’s wrong?” James asked quietly, raising her head to peer into her emerald green eyes. Her emerald green eyes that shone with unshed tears. “Oh, Lily,” James’s thumbs brushed against her cheeks, and he rested his forehead against hers. “Please, Dear, talk to me.”
That’s all it took for Lily to seemingly break. The tears finally fell, and a sob escaped her throat. Freckled arms came up and wrapped around James’s waist, and Lily buried her face in his shoulder. James pulled Lily close, closing his eyes and rubbing her back, and she cried into his shoulder. Rocking Lily slowly, James listened as her tears and shaking eased.
“I'm so scared, James,” Lily mumbled, pulling back as she wiped at her eyes. “I'm trying so hard to be brave, to be strong. I know what I signed up for when I joined the Order to fight in the war, but I'm terrified.”
“You're not alone, Lils,” James whispered as he led his wife into the living room. “Every one of us is scared. So many out there can barely see hope; some can't see a way out of this war at all.” Lily looked up at James, a lone tear making its way down her face. “It's okay for you to be scared, Lily. I'm scared; every time I duel Death Eaters, I fear I won't be able to come back home.”
“I… James, I – we – have a new reason to fear this war.”
James sat up a little straighter, his hand gripping Lily's knee. “What do you mean by that? Lily, what's wrong?”
“I’m Pregnant,” Lily whispered, her breaths becoming short and panicked. “James… I-... we are going to have a child soon.”
What? Pregnant? James stared at Lily in shock. “How far along?”
“Not far” Lily shook her head, a hand coming to rest on top of James's as she took deep breaths. “Just a couple of weeks.”
“Pregnant.”
“Yes.” Lily nodded
“With our child?”
Lily nodded again. “Yes, James.”
James rushed forward, grabbing Lily's shoulders and pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. A child, they were going to have a baby. James almost couldn't believe it; they were in the middle of a war, and they were going to have a baby.
“Oh, Lily, my beautiful flower.” James pulled back and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “We are going to be parents. This is wonderful news.”
“No, James, it isn’t.” Lily shook her head, fresh tears once again streaking down her cheeks. “How are we supposed to – expected to – raise a child whilst fighting for the good of all of humanity!? What if one day you don't come home? Between you and I, you end up in the most duels; you are always in danger. What would I do then, when I'm all alone?”
James shook his head and pulled Lily close. “You are thinking too negatively, Lily. And trust me, I understand that all too well, but Lily, aren't babies supposed to bring hope in precarious times?” James reaches up and wipes away his wife's tears. “I won't lie. It won't be easy, but we can make it work. Lily, you are a caring woman, a brilliant witch, and an amazing wife.”
Lily cracked a smile, her hands coming to grasp James's own tightly as he continued. “You decided to give me a chance during our last year at Hogwarts after I spent years chasing after you. You gave me, who was an arrogant toerag – as you put in numerous times – a chance. After Hogwarts, we put our faith in each other to fight in the war together. We promised to be strong together and for each other. If a war can't break us, Lily, a child won't either.”
James brought Lily's hand up, placing a kiss on it as he smiled. “Lily, you mean everything to me. You are so damn special to me. You, my flower, are my strength, my breath, my reason to hold out hope, and you've just given me another reason to keep that hope strong.” James's hands moved to rest against Lily's stomach. “I love you so much. We can make this work.”
“Right.” Lily nodded hesitantly. “I can… I can switch to a healer position within The Order. That way, I'll mostly be out of danger.”
“Moody probably won't allow me to exclusively take less dangerous assignments, but I promise to be extra careful and volunteer for more patrols than I usually do,” James added. “And aside from that, we have so many people who will help us. You, Lily Evans Potter, will never be alone, not with Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas.”
“Okay,” Lily took a deep breath. “Okay, you’re right. We can do this. We can give this child a good life. There are so many people who can help us. I’ll have you beside me the entire time. Our child… our baby will grow up with two loving parents trying their very best.”
“Doing their very best.” James corrected. “There will be no try to this, and we will do it. Because the love of my life, the woman who carries a piece of my mind and soul, can do anything she puts her mind to.”
“You know,” Lily sniffed, smiling fully. “Sometimes hard to believe that there's a man with intense love and a way with words under all that idiocy and tomfoolery.”
“I am everything that you made me, Lily. I'm every bit the man you taught me to be.”
“Everything minus the idiocy.” Lily joked.
“Minus the idiocy.” James parroted, laughing.
“Thank you, James,” Lily whispered, leaning against his shoulder. “I was so worried, so frightened; you’ve put all those doubts and fears to the side.”
“Of course, Lils,” James murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Lily’s head. “I’d do anything for you, and I’d do anything for our child. I will love you both till the world burns down.”
James watched as Lily smiled and pressed herself closer to him, finally relaxing. He could see it in her eyes; Lily was now thinking of the future with hope, not despair. Hope something very hard to come by these days, but something the two of them seemed to have plenty of now. Smiling to himself, James leaned back and allowed himself to rest. They would be fine.