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The US Military was having a wonderful day, having complete freedom to do whatever it wanted. Only it was not to remain that way, due to a certain bird.
There was a goose nearby with great and terrible plans. The US Military wouldn't know what hit it.
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The large bird's honking could be heard even miles away and the US Military xemselves sighed. "Cursed pheasant, you will end up on my plate by this evening!"
Grabbing a large net, the US military headed off to the neighborhood, where screaming could be heard from. Feathers were scattered all over the grounds, making it obvious what had happened.
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'Haha I've finally got you!' shouted the US Military triumphantly, it hoisted the goose by its goose neck, with its webbed goose feet kicking frantically at the air.
"Now I shall eat you!"
Unfortunately, the goose was making quite a commotion, and soon attracted the Nemesis of the U.S military- the Public.
"How could you be so cruel!" shouted the Public.
"What did that goose ever do to you?"
The U.S military shook in its boots. It was in serious danger of being held accountable for its actions
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Then suddenly the US military remembered its secret power... Government backed funding and unconditional support! The US military took out it's phone and called joe bidet. "JOe you gotta get down here the public finally realized that we shouldn't be killing geese for fun!"
"Sounds like a real pickle you're in there military... I'll give you 30 billion dollars to deal with this goose problem how's that sound?" Joe replied.
"Oh thank you daddy joe birthday!" The military then hung up the phone and turned back to face the Public and the goose.
"You see now I have back up coming theres nothing you can do to stop me from killing and eating this goose! I don't care if you don't approve!" It yelled at The Public. This only further enraged The Public though and they began rioting for the protection of the goose, who was just quacking on the side.
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A man stepped up to the front of the crowd, his cravat fluttering in the wind.
"US Military," he said with a sly grin. "It appears as though you're in quite a bit of trouble. Why don't you allow me to help?"
"What? You're nothing but an old man? What are you going to do?!"
The man continued, "My name is Manfred von Karma, and I'm the sole proprietor of a chicken restaurant. However, recently we have been expanding to include goose as part of our menu. If you allow me, I will gather up the geese discretely and serve them to my customers. Of course, I would ask for financial support, to help in my endeavors."
The US military was covered in tomato juice from the public throwing tomatoes at them, and was desperate for a way out.
"ALRIGHT" it shouted over the demonstrators. "WE AGREE."
And Von Karma picked up the goose and walked away.
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The goose, of course, wasn't very happy about the prospect of being served to the customers at Manfred von Karma's chicken restaurant, but for now, it was just happy to get away from the U.S. military. But as soon as Manfred arrived at the kitchen, the goose started putting up a fight. Verbally.
"What would the Colonel think of this? This restaurant is literally called Kentucky Fried CHICKEN, not Kentucky Fired GOOSE. You wouldn't want to risk unsatisfied customers by serving goose to them, now would you?"
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Manfred in an uncharacteristic move freed the goose from its cage. Or maybe perfection was more important than serving meals to his customers.
"Go, GO. Do not make me chase you out." Von Karma huffed.
Goose was happy. It quickly quacked and ran out back from the kitchen. It avoided both being cooked today AND the U.S. military. It was a quite lucky goose. It just hoped to get home safely to its goslings.
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Manfred smirked, for his act of kindness was actually carefully calculated. This would be the leverage he had been searching for to have over the US Military.
Taking photos with a proper camera with one hand, he pulled out his phone with his other hand and dialed a number. After a couple rings the call's recipient picked up.
"Mr. President, I have found out that the US Military has been doing some untoward things towards a goose. I'm sure you wouldn't allow such a thing."
Mr. President let out a gasp.
"You have my word that the US Military will be grounded for at least a month! I will have a million dollars be sent to you as thanks."
Hanging up, Manfred began to laugh at another scheme successfully carried out.
Meanwhile the goose arrived home and was greeted by the happy noises of its gooslings. Things may not have gone to plan, but at the end of the day it still was able to go home to its children and that's all that mattered. The end.