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Ten minutes goes past. Then twenty–then a half an hour. Jay has been throwing couch cushions and pushing tables away from their designated areas. His band members were out since it was a free day for all of them and Jay decided to stay home. He was tired from all the countless routines and obligations that came with being an idol. He just wanted a break.
And it was going smoothly at first. After bidding the others goodbye around early noon, he slept in for a few more hours. The warmth of his bed lulled him back into an easy rest. His limbs felt lighter and a content smile etched across his face once he started to stretch and move about their home.
It’s been a long while since Jay started to slip into little space as well and he felt more capable of taking care of himself. Even Heeseung, his primary caregiver, wanted to give him ample room to be in his own skin. He usually worries sick for Jay and it would take a lot of convincing from his other band mates to ease him down. Despite that, he left him with a kiss to his forehead, telling him to enjoy his day in. And he was–he did.
He did before he felt the world on his shoulders. The house was too quiet and it felt too big. He thought about turning on the tv to circulate any noises amongst the home and it worked for a while until it didn’t. He realized soon enough that he might’ve started to slip. Oh no! He couldn’t handle this all by himself anymore–he needed his hyungs! But they were all out and not coming back until late that night.
Staying big was beginning to be a lot more difficult as he sat on the couch, contemplating his next moves. Although Jay wanted to fight it, he decided to just let it happen. His brain became fuzzy and his hands itched to grab ahold of his fox plushie that Sunoo so happily gifted him for his birthday. It brought him a sense of security, like everything was going to be okay. He wanted–no, needed that feeling.
Now here he was: trashing his house to look for that one comfort animal. He doesn’t remember where he last had it and he’s become close to tears. Why is everything so hard without Appa and the others?! With them, they would always make sure little Jay was in high spirits. No matter the situations they face.
But now that he’s alone, confused, and pained, he can't think straight. The tears pricking his eyes finally spilled over and he harshly rubbed them away with a small whimper. The little checked the time on the digital clock on the counter. Only five-o’clock in the evening. He was sure the six of his hyungs wouldn’t come back until hours and hours after that.
Of course the little one could give any of them a call. They would drop anything for him, he knows that. But he also knows that this is a day off for his hyungs too. He doesn’t want to ruin it for them! With that in mind, he sniffles.
He flopped onto the floor and started to wail. The sounds of his screams gave himself a headache and it only egged on his tears more. He held the top of his head to shield away whatever other feeling could crash down onto him. He just wanted his plushie, his hyungs, his binky–
“My bwinky!” he gasped. That would make everything better! He can just imagine the immense comfort from the makeshift nipple he could suck on. That will relieve his stress just by a little bit, but it beats crying until his head starts to pound.
So he makes his way towards his and Jake-hyung’s shared room with minimal sniffles. It was quite cluttered right now to say the least, but it was their room and he cherished it a lot. With touring finally done, they made it to their house and all they wanted to do was lay down and take a breather or two–hence why there were so many clothes and other accessories littering the floor and dressers. They’ll deal with that once Jay turns big again and Jake's laziness dissipates.
For now, the little waddled over to the bottom dresser, pushing away the clutter that was blocking his way. His smile widened even more so as he came across his favorite yellow onesie. It had Winnie the Pooh all over them along with the honey pot he always carried around. It even had a hood that resembles his ears. Jay really wanted to put it on! But then he remembered that Appa usually puts it on for him and he sadly whimpered. He misses him so much!
He tries to ignore the saddening thoughts and envisioned himself feeling better once he wore the onesie and having his favorite yellow binky in his mouth. He begins to discard his old clothing with a little struggle and eventually puts on the onesie. Next, he grabbed his binky and his fox plushie (he finally found it! Sunoo-hyung must’ve placed it back in the drawer), running back out to the living room with measured speed so as not to fall.
He can finally relax! The time on the digital clock reads six-thirty and the little wanted to cry all over again. Why does time have to move so slow?! He just wants to be cuddled up next to his Appa and the others and feel safe and cared for. He didn’t like being alone for too long, especially in his current vulnerable state. Of course, he would’ve been okay had he stayed big the whole day, but it’s different now that he was just a small and fragile thing.
With his thoughts swarming, he hadn’t even realized the uncomfortable feeling in his downstairs area. Ah- he had to pee–really bad! It never dawned on him that he never used the restroom when he had first woken up. Now there’s gonna be a bigger mess to deal with! He waddled as fast as he could to the nearest restroom and tried his hardest to hold his bladder.
“Tank the heavens,” Jay sighed in relief as he managed to plop himself down on the toilet. No mess to clean and he finally feels less antsy and upset.
Eight o’clock rolls around at a much slower pace and little jay is seen lounging on the couch–or what was left of the couch. Heeseung strides in with a confused expression seeing all the cushions sprawled out in different places. He couldn’t imagine why Jay would do such a thing and then not pick up his mess.
Leaving the plethora of thoughts behind, the caregiver couldn’t help but grin seeing his baby suck on his binky like his life depended on it. If he was being honest, Heeseung already knew something was off–as did the others.
“What the heck happened here, Jay, a tornado- oh.” Jake stopped in his tracks, facing the culprit head on. Heeseung raised his index finger to shush the other, turning back to his little.
“I think he might’ve gone on a mini rampage rummaging for something. Look at what he has.” Heeseung pointed at the fox plushie he was holding onto as he heard him let out soft sighs and little mumbles. The big Jay wanted to know where his plushie went for some time now. Of course during that time, he was busy trying to stay afloat and prepare for their draining schedules. He didn’t have the time to be little and to crave his favorite comfort animal, so naturally he just let it be. And in turn, never found it.
Hell, heeseung didn’t even know where to look for it because he thought he searched everywhere. But the universe was surely on his baby’s side, the sight of him cuddling the fox sending a huge smile to plaster on his lips.
Sunoo was the next to come in, bags on top of bags flooding his hands and he cheered silently at the sight before him.
“I found it for him the other day,” he happily whispered. “I made sure to place it where all his little things were, but I guess he didn’t bother checking it again. I’m so happy to see him with it.” Sunoo sauntered over to the little, sitting a comfortable few feet away from him as he watched him slumber. Heeseung mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ as he decided to shake his little awake.
He must’ve been so alone, afraid, and bored without any of them. So he lightly shook his little’s shoulder, sweetly calling out to him. And as if on cue, Jay shoots up with a mixture of happiness and sadness laced in his eyes.
“Appa! I missed you!” Little Jay reached his hands and arms out to his caregiver and Heeseung immediately enveloped him in his arms.
He squeezed his sides protectively and softly whispered in his ear, and said, “Appa missed you too, baby. We’re all here now. See?”
And with that, the little began to flicker his gaze around the area in which he can see. He saw Sunoo first, sitting where he slept and he eagerly waved his way, Sunoo giggling and waving back. He next saw Jake that was in the walkway of the living room and the little wiggled a bit in Heeseung’s grasp, wanting the male to come over. Jake humors the boy and once he got in close enough, Jay left a kiss right on his cheek and Jake smiled tenderly. He ruffled the boy’s hair and said, ‘I’m so happy to see you, bubs.’
Next was Sunghoon who was holding his food container in his hands. They must’ve been out to eat before they came back. Sunghoon shyly acknowledged the little before he walked over to also ruffle his hair up. Although, Riki and Jungwon were the most eager bunch. Riki maneuvered Jay out of his Appa’s hold and playfully wrestled him onto his lap. The giggles and incoherent babbles left the rest of his caregivers in a pleasant shock.
Jungwon sidled up next to him, practically jumping for joy in his seat. He had a hand behind his back which left little Jay a bit perplexed. Jungwon could tell so he quickly started to explain himself.
“I know you haven’t slipped in a while and love your yellow binky so much,” he began while fiddling with his gift. “But we went to a store and found an even better binky you would cherish. Would you like to see it?” Was that even a question?! Of course he wanted to see it! So the little shook his head, even making himself dizzy. Jungwon slowly came into view with another yellow binky. But it wasn’t just some yellow binky–it had Winnie the Pooh on the hard part of it, a string of honey balancing on the bear’s nose. He loves it!
He spat the other one out as he heard everyone bite back a laugh as it hit the floor unceremoniously. With his mouth wide, he makes an ‘ahhh’ sound and Jungwon just keels over as he places the new binky in his mouth. The suckling noises proved to be a success. Jay lays his head atop Riki’s and the maknae makes sure to wrap his arms around his middle securely.
He was looking forward to playing and having as much fun with all of his hyungs, but if he was being honest, his body still wasn’t fully awake. The little lets out the loudest yawn his body can muster and slowly starts to shut his eyes.
Heeseung coos softly. “It seems the baby is still tired. Let me get my favorite boy to bed, hm?” The next thing Jay knows, he’s getting picked up by his Appa and his head knocks onto his firm shoulder like a comfy memory foam pillow. Heeseung places a kiss onto his little’s hair, walking to his and Jake’s shared bedroom. He made sure to plug his nightlight back into the wall before he settled his baby into bed.
With the fear of his Appa leaving, he whimpered, “please stay?” Heeseung chuckles, walking over to the opposite side of the bed, squeezing himself in. Jay scooched in closer, wanting to feel the warmth of his caregiver before succumbing to sleep once more.
“I wasn’t going anywhere, baby. I’m gonna stay right here with you, okay?” And Jay nodded as he felt more and more prepared for another deep slumber. He lets time slowly fade into nothingness as he falls asleep with his Appa by his side. The last thing he remembers was him saying how much he loves his Appa, before the comfort of darkness took over.