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Royai Week 2024
Day 2 - Appreciate
Whenever he looks upon her, he thinks of sunlight.
Riza Hawkeye was and always has been blonde. That fact certainly helped. Deep down, he knows that if she wasn’t, it wouldn’t change a thing about his association between the two. He thought it when they were young and naive. Day or night. Inside or out. None of it mattered. Even if it didn’t totally resolve their problems, he cherished every moment they traded glances or he was able to sneak one of his own surrounded by stacks of folders. Their experiences and pain never took it away; it sustained him.
The only time he regretted laying eyes upon her again was when they reunited in Ishval. His sunlight had the eyes of a killer, just like he did. Thankfully, he didn’t push her away forever. Now they could stand in the fields of Resembool, in stride as always.
He and Riza offered to take the Elric’s children out to give their family some time alone. Winry is busy this afternoon with finishing some parts for an automail order that was due. Ed is helping Pinako with tonight’s meal. Roy watches as Sylvia and Thomas race ahead through tall amber prairie grass. Both of the Elric’s children are spitting images of their blonde parents.
If there was the possibility that he would be executed or imprisoned for his crimes in Ishval, he wasn’t going to bring a child into this world just to leave them behind. With their sentences expunged in light of the Promised Day and their post-war work, the pieces on the board had moved significantly. When he thinks of a family with children, there’s still a haze encompassing that vision. He’s content if it never comes to pass. Between Elysia and the Elric’s children, he’s quite content with being Uncle Roy.
He’s earned so much that he thought he’d never have.
Sylvia yelps, laughing as she dodges and weaves. Thomas has a thick wad of grass in his hands. He chases after her with a furrowed brow of determination that evokes his father’s youthful determination. Sylvia is more agile than her brother, taller than average for her age despite being three years his junior. “Come and get me, Tommy!” She giggles as she outmaneuvers him once again.
“Grrrr… I’ll get you!”
Riza laughs. He could listen to that sound on repeat.
Somehow, they’d become busier than ever before. He acknowledges that reality as a foregone conclusion now. The shackles of old were gone, allowing them to work harder and freer. He could look at his futures, their futures, much differently than he ever could before.
What lingers in the distance, tucked back after recovering, is the emptiness of a missing piece.
He thinks about what it might be like, when they submit their resignation papers. She’d promised to follow him. Before, it wasn’t a possibility for either of them to picture departing. It was a fanciful dream. They lived in reality. Now, much of reality resembled his dreams, when he could catch a few hours of sleep back then.
They’d been in talks with Grumman for the last few months. Outlining the transition of Eastern Command and Mustang relinquishing his authority over the military’s side of reconstruction was going to take time. More departments and committees in Parliament were to handle the next phases. Amestris was run by the military far less than before, but he appreciated the need for stable command and making sure their work and country folk were left in good hands.
“Sir?”
When they’re out of the ranks and back into civilian life, maybe he’ll…
“General?”
No. There’s too much to plan. It’s still too far out by as much as two or three years. Beyond that, he had more promises to fulfill and offices to hold to make them happen.
“ Sir ?”
“Uh-huh. -wait what?” His head jerks, double taking as he processes her voice. Jeez, how long had he been swirling amongst his thoughts. He rubs the back of his neck while color tinges his cheeks. She’d been trying to get his attention for a bit now. “Sorry, lost in my own reverie.”
“Anything on your mind?”
Roy smiles again. “No. Just a lot to think about. Grumman asked us to think of candidates for our replacements.” A finger traces a circle in the air, over and over. “Going through my mental rolodex.”
“Hm.” Riza nods.
She steps ahead. He releases the breath he hadn’t realized was seized in his lungs. Phew. For a moment he thought it’d all come spilling out. No. Now was not the time. He still needed to think . Would she even be receptive - would she even consider thinking about it? He shoves his hands in his pockets.
Wait, now he was thinking about broaching the subject? Hold your horses, Roy Mustang.
They resume their pace.
Thomas, having given up on chasing his sister, has instead recruited her to play with the dogs. Hayate’s not nearly as young as he used to be, but he trots around and participates in ways his older joints will allow. Comet, having quite the legs on her, appears and reappears as she jumps around through the grass. Soon though, they disappear down the opposite side of the hill ahead.
The pair reaches the top. The golden hour makes everything else in the best that Central or East City has to offer pale in comparison. So much gold in these valleys. If he could take it all and put it in a vial, watch it swirl whenever he wanted to escape, he would. He remembers long days in their teens of laying out in the sun in the northeast, listening to the birds and the wildlife, talking or not talking at all. There’s so much he wanted to ask her then and never did. Sure, her father likely burning him alive if he got too close to his daughter crossed his mind, but it always chalked it up to a teenage crush. When they were there, it was only the two of them.
Riza reaches for his arm. Roy turns again, smiling. “Sorry - again. Quite a bit on my mind today. It’s nice to get out here away from everything for a while, but my mind never stops.”
She smiles. “I know. Mine doesn’t either.” Her arm falls to her side. His eyes transfix on the breeze catching the skirt of her light blue dress, and sound fades through a tunnel. He catches something about her retrieving the children to head back to the Elric-Rockbell household for dinner. She walks to the playing bunch. His hands fidget in his pockets.
Basking in the setting sun, he catches sight of silhouetted sunflowers around the incline of the next hill. His mind wanders again, imagining what it might look like with one of them in Riza’s hair, tucked behind her ear as the sun shines on her face and in her hair.
His chest tightens.
Dammit.
He wants to walk these hills, through the tall grasses and impossibly tall sunflowers forever. He wants to hide away in a remote cabin and not think about work for a week, trek through freshly fallen and sparkling snow. He wants to have countless late nights pouring over records and plans, breaking down economic reports and charts, maps and ledgers. He wants to hold her hand and kiss every knuckle and her palms. He wants to take her out to dinner or dancing. He wants to never let her go as he kisses her scars and her lips again and again and again. Life without her was possible, but now he could see it all in focus with her. Life had hope with her in it. It made life all the more worth living. He was better with her.
He wanted nothing more than for the world to know he loves her. He wanted her to know how much he really loved and adored her from the sun to the stars.
That realization, finally, leaves him cotton mouthed. And he tries his best to say little on the walk back, little during dinner, and closer to midnight while he stargazes on the roof. Arms propped behind his head, he can now admit he can truly, personally understand why Maes had become head over heels.