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The dimness of Yamato’s room is so dark that his vision starts to get hazy and his surroundings are vaguely imprecise. His stacks of items on the side of the walls are to be unseen—and even the sofa—he did not know what the color was when in fact it was blue. Yamato’s eyes roamed over the television, he could reminisce about how he and Kakeru played video games.
Now look at him, lying down in his bed until he feels the rush of the flowers barging into his lungs. He stood right up, enclosed his mouth with his hand, and produced a hoarse sound. Yamato perceives a petal of a flower… It was a dainty petal with a white and a yellow color. His eyebrows met together and he made a long face. He heard the doorknob creak and turned to look who it was.
“Nii-san…”
“Sorry. I heard the coughing sound, so I went to check in,” Mikoto uttered.
“Oh. Mikoto—there’s nothing wrong.”
“C’mon, it's already midnight. You should head back to sleep; there’s nothing to worry about.” Yamato insisted.
“Okay, Nii-san. Good night. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
Yamato still manages to let out a faint chuckle. “Good night, Mikoto.”
Mikoto went outside Yamato’s bedroom, and he felt a sigh of relief, for he did not want his sister to worry about him. He promised that he would protect Mikoto.
What’s going to happen when his sister takes care of him instead? He does not want to allow that.
As his father never came back from work, Yamato works hard to have Mikoto experience a father figure in her life. Perhaps he’ll just figure out how he is going to disclose the strange condition he’s feeling to Mikoto.
Yamato woke up to his alarm and turned it off. He stared blankly at the wall. Strangely, I did not get those episodes of coughing today. He thought.
Yamato stood and headed towards the kitchen to make breakfast for him and Mikoto. He opened the refrigerator and took two eggs, sizzled the pan, cracked it, and made sunny-side-up eggs. He also made fried rice. Yamato heard footsteps and caught a glimpse of his sister taking a seat at the dining table.
“Good morning, Nii-san!” Mikoto exclaimed.
“Good morning, Mikoto. Let’s eat? I made sunny-side-up eggs with fried rice.” Yamato spoke.
He prepared the food at the table and the food was freshly made. Mikoto looked brightly at the food and she could not wait to eat what her brother cooked. “There you go. Be careful,” Yamato added.
“Itadakimasu!” Both Mikoto and Yamato stated.
Mikoto wiped her mouth with a tissue as they started cleaning up the table, “Nii-san, the breakfast is really good!”
Yamato grinned. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“Oh, it’s almost 7:30 AM. I need to go, Nii-san!! Ittekimasu!”
“Itterasshai, Mikoto,” Yamato returned.
His school starts at 8:00 AM, so he does not need to rush. He picked up his phone and browsed the communication application which is LINE and in the lists of names, he saw letters that spelled Kakeru. He opened the conversation and typed something. Hey. Do you want to go to school together? but he kept on deleting it.
His head is full of what-ifs that would hold him back. That is what he hates the most. He always makes up excuses to himself that refuse him to move forward.
He snapped in reality to realize that it was almost 8:00 AM. “Crap! I’m going to be late!” Yamato muttered.
He swiftly took his bag, looked in the mirror to see if his uniform was properly buttoned up, locked the doors, and dashed towards school.
❀❀❀
“Hey, Yamato! I got 79 out of 85 points on the test!” Kakeru gleefully smiled at Yamato as his eyes shone on the test paper because he finally had higher marks. Yamato has been helping Kakeru with his weakest subject. He could grin bittersweetly since he wanted Kakeru to keep smiling only. I wish I could keep that smile forever, he hoped.
Kakeru clamored, “Thank you so much, Yamato!”
“Hey… do you want to go home together after school?”
Yamato widened his eyes as Kakeru asked that question, he was surprised and excited at the same time. “S-sure!” he replied.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Kakeru yawned. “Finally... Classes are done! Let’s go?” Yamato nodded.
Yamato’s things are already tidy in his bag, and he waits for Kakeru. He glanced at him. He was observing every detail—his eyes, hair, and cute cheeks. He would want to hold him in his arms every time. His daydreaming was over when Kakeru looked at him, signaling that they should go now.
As they stroll along the road, the ambiance is serene. Cicadas are making noises and as the steps they take, it’s creating a sound and a rhythm.
They were already on the bridge near Kakeru’s house however, it was interrupted by a sound coming from Kakeru’s phone. Yamato looked at his pocket and looked away, thinking it was one of the girls again that they hung out with the other day.
“Oh! It’s Okaa-san!” Kakeru exclaimed.
He felt a sigh of relief.
“Hello? Yes. Right now?! I’m with Yamato… Fine! I will go there quickly.” Kakeru said on the phone.
“Yamato, I’m very sorry I had to go first. There was an emergency in our house. I’ll make it up to you next time. See you!” Kakeru dashed and Yamato could only see him disappearing in his vision.
He turned to look at the moonlight on the bridge. He stayed there for a while until he felt the flowers and coughed again. This time—it was not a petal but a full flower. He scanned it for a while when he grasped that it was a Japanese honeysuckle.
“Hey, Yamato!” A boy patted him on the back, making him throw up more flowers.
“Oh… are you okay?” He looked at his back and it was Hosaka.
He saw the concern in Hosaka’s eyes and immediately hid the flowers in his hands. “Yes… I’m okay. What brings you here?” Yamato asked as his hands gripped and fully veiled the honeysuckle.
“Hmmm, nothing. I just had this feeling, you know?” Hosaka remarked.
Yamato grunted in annoyance, “Fine. I’ve been feeling nauseating and sensitive lately…”
He was surprised. “How come?”
Yamato had the urge to show something in his hands.
“Oh! What a beautiful flower! Too bad it was crushed already…”
“No. This came from me—” He whined as his pupils shook towards Hosaka.
He could only scrunch his eyebrows and tilt his head.
“I know, it's confusing. But whenever I interact with Kakeru—I always get this yanking of flowers out of my lungs and it's excruciatingly painful.” Yamato admitted.
“I think I read this somewhere…” Hosaka took out his phone and browsed something.
“Found it. I think you got Hanahaki disease.”
“Huh?” Yamato merely stared at him.
“Meaning, this triggers every time you’re with Kakeru—the love of your life—and you know that it is unrequited considering how you’ve been friends since childhood,” he explained.
Yamato's jaw tightened. Of course, Hosaka always says what he has in mind. Sometimes it helps but at the same time, it gives the smack of truth.
Yamato gaped at the flower and admired its beauty. It is so lamentable if a dazzling flower is crumpled up, he wondered.
“Is it curable?” Yamato asked.
“Well, the disease will be gone if the person reciprocates your feelings.”
There was silence after Hosaka spoke those words. The glimmering glint of the moon is still watching over them.
“Well… I guess I have to do whatever it takes, huh?” Yamato looked at the midnight skies.
“Obviously. You would do anything for him, right? As long as it's for Kakeru?”
“Yes. Thanks for today, Hosaka. I owe you one.”
Hosaka laughed, “It’s nothing. You’re welcome.”
Yamato forced a smile.
The two boys parted ways and walked to their homes.
In the silence of the Oharu family’s house, Mikoto patiently waited for her brother. Why is Nii-san taking so long? She groans as she lays her head on the table.
Ding dong!
Yamato opened the door and welcomed his sister. “Tadaima.”
Mikoto raised her head and a smile formed on her lips, “Okaeri, Nii-san!”
He started to untie his shoes and placed his bag on the couch.
“Nii-san—why took you so long?”
Yamato abruptly stepped closer to her sister and Mikoto admittedly took a few steps backward but accepted defeat since she knew her brother needed some solace right now.
This is a bit sudden, Nii-san. Mikoto echoed in her head.
She started to pat her brother’s back until she heard Yamato’s light cry.
“Whenever you are going through right now… I want to say that I will always be here with you and I’ll accept everything.”
Mikoto tightened the hug as Yamato melted in his sister’s warm embrace. He needed this. An encouraging gesture from his sister makes him realize that everything will be okay.
❀❀❀
“Okay, class! We will be having a camp tomorrow. So once you get home, make sure to prepare your things.” The teacher announced.
“Class dismissed!”
Kakeru tapped Yamato’s shoulders, “I can’t believe that we will be having a camp! Let’s have fun, okay?” He flashed Yamato the most endearing smile ever, and he could only stare at him as if time had stopped. “U-uh, yes…” He stuttered and immediately turned away.
They hang out on the rooftop for a while. They sat and Kakeru brought yakisoba bread. He broke the bread and gave half to Yamato.
“Thanks.” He muttered.
Yamato observed that a small bird was bothering Kakeru. “Hey—bird—can’t you see that I’m eating?” he murmured.
He could only laugh at the scene. Kakeru stopped resisting and gave a small piece of bread to the bird. It took the piece immediately and flew away.
Yamato was amazed at how kind Kakeru was, even to animals. He is exceptionally incredible.
❀❀❀
The sun is setting with its orange and pink hues. Yamato has prepared a lot for the camp. He got extra clothes and snacks as well for him and Kakeru to share. His eyes gleam at how excited he is by the thought of experiencing camp with him. The call time at the school is 5 PM, and he is already on the way.
He glimpsed Kakeru and his heart was beating like crazy. He stroked his chest and approached the group. It seems everyone is present. He sees Kakeru, Hosaka, Soichiro, and Kosuke.
“Y’all! I’m thrilled for the camp later!” Kosuke chimed in. “Let’s toast marshmallows. I brought some with me.” Hosaka smiled composedly.
Time has passed and the group is preparing the bonfire; Soichiro takes logs and arranges them all together, Hosaka puts the marshmallows individually on the sticks, and Kosuke makes fire. Kakeru and Yamato seemed to have nothing to do. The two told the group that they would just walk around.
Yamato had been waiting for this opportunity for so long, just them two together, and probably gambling about the chance if this was finally the day he confessed it to Kakeru.
The night was quiet as the cicadas had gone to sleep. Fireflies start to fly around them. Kakeru was astonished to see the insect shine its light. Yamato glanced at him and grinned until Kakeru instantly looked at him, their eyes glued to each other as the setting created a magical atmosphere.
“The moon is beautiful—isn’t it?” I love you.
Kakeru cutely pronounced each word. He then looked toward the hallowed white moon. Yamato turned to the heavenly body, and sparkles bloomed in his eyes.
He felt like the weight in his heart and lungs had vanished. He does not feel suffocated anymore; he is free.
Yamato let out a giggle, “I can die happily.” I love you too.
Kakeru laid his head on Yamato’s shoulders and cherished the tranquil night together.
Meanwhile…
“Hey, where have the two gone off?” Kosuke asked. Hosaka and Soichiro could only grin.
“I’m sure they are having fun with their night stroll.” Hosaka put in. “At least we have all the marshmallows to ourselves!” Soichiro teased—and they laughed.